Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Thank fcuk im half bald.

zcorpian88 wrote: »

Anyone who wears that haircut and bonus wanker points if you wear a grey suit jacket and wine coloured chino's to go with it! These lads just shouldn't be allowed out in public!

How dare you!!

Dont you ever associate those "things" with lads

They are abominations...Simple as

I was standing at a bus stop and I never got such a fright when this plukey ned decided it was okay to charge down the pavement on his 14-year-old brother's BMX, almost matching the speed of the cars. What pissed me off even more was that after I felt his handlebar barely skiff my arm, I took notice of cyclist lane on the road right next to me,

.. and I just thought to myself "what the hell is the mental malfunction you possess, that excuses you from using the lane that you legally should be using, instead of putting loads of people at risk because you're in a hurry to get somewhere on your tacky little bike? And for the record, you're not even going straight, you're doing that really príckish thing on the bike where each pedal you push, you cause the bike to bend 45 degrees and you look like an inconsiderate ársehole! Grow Up!!!"

And I wasn't the only one that got annoyed. Two girls shouted at him as he tore past: "Use the fcking lane you fcking eejit"

The more I wrote this, the harder I typed. That's how wound up it got me :P

Oh, and he was wearing a matching grey tracksuit with a baseball cap, bonus wánker points there.

"If you could [x] that would be great"

jack presley wrote: »

I judge people without talking to them all the time. If I'm on holidays and see someone in a GAA jersey, i know that's a person I need to avoid talking to at all costs. So it looks like I'm a wanker then.

With you on that one, Jack.

Cienciano wrote: »

So no **** in "The Grooming Rooms", but local barbers around the country are full of them? You sure you have it the right way around?

I never said that...

I said people who prioritize a cheap haircut over a good haircut. By all means if someone has a good barber that only charges €8 then fair enough. The "****" I am referring to are those who go to a barber that is cheap without even considering the quality of the business.

Plenty of **** go to the Grooming Rooms. Just like there are plenty of **** on Boards. People are **** for numerous different reasons :rolleyes:

pone2012 wrote: »

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anyone who has this haircut, or any variation of it...with or without a beard

I have that haircut , and a beard. Have it years , since I was 21 or something...and a full sleeve tattoo...

Wanker me up John boy...wanker me up...

Anyone online who refers to a country as 'she' believes in their heart that they are an important figure in history and that they deserve their own flutey theme music and documentary series on the history channel.
Really they're just a cvnt and a nerd.

CaraMay wrote: »

Definitely! I can just hear the predictable conversation now - them 'so where are you from?'

Me 'county X'

Them 'ah very good. My aunt Mary on my mothers side married a man from X. His name is Flanagan, do you know him?'

Me 'no'

Them 'now their kids are called Mary, Johnny and paddy. You must know them, they are great crack'

Me (silently) p off you total toss pot

People must have a very different sense of what a wanker is than what I do. That to me sounds like a friendly conversation!

What is it with people on boards having a problem with those wearing GAA jerseys?

bigpink wrote: »

Just from seeing people out how they act etc serving people
You can see it alot of the times

I agree, everyone judges people by their appearance, it's a first impression.

Anyone who says that they don't is a liar in my opinion.

Doesn't necessarily have to be a negative judgement, but there's definitely a judgement who you see someone wearing something unusual. Do people think people wear bright pink hair, thick lenses, jackets full of sequins and trousers far too small for them not to be noticed?

I can't imagine someone seeing someone in what I mentioned above and having absolutely zero to say about it.

For ever odd wrote: »

Is there a female equivalent to the word 'wanker '? I mean you hardly ever hear of a woman been called a wanker.

Wife?