Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Boring username

What sets your alarm bells ringing that someone is a bit of an arsehole? For me, there are a handful of things that almost always ring true (although there have been very, very rare exceptions in general.)

1. Wearing a trendy Palestinian type scarf. Always a major indicator that a know it all, insufferable bore is about to lecture you with their 'right on' views of the world. Sometimes accompanied by a neckbeard and general scruffiness.

2. A cokehead. I don't think I ever met a cokehead who wasn't a prick. It really is a great way of identifying a jumped up big time wannabe. Avoid.

3. Any of that corporate speak i.e. "going forward, we'll touch base, from the get-go, out of the ballpark etc".



You are cordially invited to vent you rage and misgivings in your own words.

Sh1tbag OToole

Boring username wrote: »

3. Any of that corporate speak i.e. "going forward, we'll touch base, from the get-go, out of the ballpark etc".

Revert back to you

sabat

Whiteboys with dreadlocks

dudara

Someone who walks through a door and doesn't check if there's someone behind them, or doesn't make sure the door is shut after them

People who treat waitstaff and customer service people badly. Or doesn't even say thank you.

These are simple things, but they stand out to me about a person

OneOfThem

They use the word 'tosser'.

Boring username

sabat wrote: »

Whiteboys with dreadlocks

Often accompanied by #1 and a faint whiff of stale urine, similar to that of a gone off bag of wheelies crisps in a way.

Menas

People who use the word 'entitled' a lot.

darkpagandeath

Skinny jeans, Basically anyone who is a hipster.

Anyone who has moved from an urban area to a one off in the country.

Kev W

Use of the words/phrases:

"proselytising"
"simples"
"rant over"
"back in my day"
"feminazi"
"I'm Ryan Tubridy"

Or any and all Simpsons quotes in any context.

Boring username

dudara wrote: »

Someone who walks through a door and doesn't check if there's someone behind them, or doesn't make sure the door is shut after them

People who treat waitstaff and customer service people badly. Or doesn't even say thank you.

These are simple things, but they stand out to me about a person

Oh damn that's a great one, I should have added that in the OP. Probably THE biggest reveal of a persons character ever, along with how they treat animals. I should take them to this restaurant:

Lukker-

Low cut v necks.

Galwayguy35

There were a few young fellas standing on the footpath and wouldn't move to let an old woman through, she had to walk on to the road.

If they weren't **** and tossers I don't know who is.

suicide_circus

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

Revert back to you

The next semiliterate windbag to revert back to me will get stabbed in the throat.

Into The Blue

The lanyard brigade.. Ye know who ye are..
Usually accompanied by 'borrowed my father's suit till i can afford my own' man..

These tossers, who themselves work for minimum wage, will look down on anyone who's parents earn less than 100k pa.

The_Valeyard

Kev W wrote: »

Use of the words/phrases:


Or any and all Simpsons quotes in any context.

Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill a Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin… but what good does that do me?

desertcircus

The use of the term SJW in a negative sense.

kfallon

People who talk about their 'gains' in the gym :rolleyes:

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

professore

In terms of a quality thread, I'm going to follow this one going forward.

Boring username

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

There were a few young fellas standing on the footpath and wouldn't move to let an old woman through, she had to walk on to the road.

If they weren't **** and tossers I don't know who is.

Yeah some people let us down during the Queen's visit, that's for sure.

BoJack Horseman

Wearing hats..... All the time, indoor & out...

In addition, anyone wearing a trilby or a fedora, with casual attire is a grade-A wanker.

(Probably why we see it so much in wankery ads aching to appeal to milenials)

NotCominBack

Patww79 wrote: »

#3 for sure. I'm so glad I'll never set foot inside an American multinational again.

Awesome

darkpagandeath

desertcircus wrote: »

The use of the term SJW in a negative sense.

When was the Term ever a positive one ?

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

HalloweenJack

People who use 'liberal' as an insult, they also usually whinge about SJWs and 'PC brigades'. ****in' tards.

professore

People who slavishly follow some ideology/group unquestioningly and don't admit that life is not black and white but shades of grey and think anyone who doesn't agree 100% with their guru of choice is somehow inferior / mass murderer / an idiot.

Examples : feminism, pro life movement, pro choice movement, gay pride (how is it tasteful to parade around a city centre in nothing but a thong), water charge protesters, fad diet followers, alternative cancer treatments, and so on and so forth.

That's my insulting of 95% of boardsies done for another year

Boring username

HalloweenJack wrote: »

People who use 'liberal' as an insult, they also usually whinge about SJWs and 'PC brigades'. ****in' tards.

I would draw your attention to this thread Sir:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057485675

BoJack Horseman

Had to lookup what 'SJW' was.

****.

The Backwards Man

You don't really have to try too hard to spot a wanker, they usually reveal themselves in a fairly short space of time.

Junkyard Tom

Anyone with a functioning hand that can reach their groin area.

Aenaes

When they call you "mate".

suicide_circus

BoJack Horseman wrote: »

Had to lookup what 'SJW' was.

****.

SJW is actually an anagram of ****

professore

Had to look up SJW but yeah in Ireland with it's extremely generous welfare system to the point of disincentivising work there's really no excuse for it.

syklops

BoJack Horseman wrote: »

Had to lookup what 'SJW' was.

What is it?

Junkyard Tom

suicide_circus wrote: »

SJW is actually an anagram of ****

Also the word gullible does not appear in any dictionary of repute.

5rtytry56

The ones who drive with the headlights on full strength switched on when they put on the car headlights.

professore

syklops wrote: »

What is it?

Social Justice Warrior

Day Lewin

This whole thread is making my skin shrink into little goosey follicles. Ugh, are there that many **** in the world?

Clichés, kill them all. People who solemnly use clichés as if they were real-meaning words. Oh, and who don't spot the moment when a too-fashionable word becomes a cliché: (anyone for a "flute" of Chardonnay?)

and I'm, like, YAY!!!

professore

When you let someone out in front of you from a side road and they ignore you completely - no wave of thanks or anything. This seems to be something women do far more than men for some reason.

toptom

When you hear american rap music been blared out of a car, You know the lads inside are **** or up to no good.
Lads that use drugs total ****.

mfceiling

Anyone who doesn't use please and thank you. If you are served in a shop/restaurant or whatever and you give a grunt or say nothing when you are given your produce then you are a grade A category 1 cnut.

professore

OAPs who have the whole week stretching endlessly ahead of them but still insist on going shopping at 11 am on Saturday when the supermarkets are packed with working stiffs like myself.

People who say Katie Hopkins is an evil bitch ... I think she's great and just states the truth most of the time. She actually said the one above.

philstar

when they don't look at you when you're talking to them

*btw - can you call a woman a wanker or is it just a male term??

BoJack Horseman

toptom wrote: »

When you hear american rap music been blared out of a car, You know the lads inside are **** or up to no good.

Indeed .

But if you blare out French rap music you are cool as balls.

mass_debater

Beats headphones and Crocs

Eramen

People who are into American/online social justice movements but never actually do anything for their own community in any way, shape or form.

And long V necks on men..

professore

People who go on about what a great school they went to to mix with the "right people" or generally go on about how they move in the "right circles".

People who boast how they're not racist and all for equality but are first to put down Travellers / Gay Marriage / Eastern Europeans / Nigerian taxi drivers.

BoJack Horseman

philstar wrote: »

can you call a woman a wanker or is it just a male term??

The pejorative is bean flicker

Ruu

Beanie cap in hot weather. Instant tool detector.

suicide_circus

professore wrote: »

OAPs who have the whole week stretching endlessly ahead of them but still insist on going shopping at 11 am on Saturday when the supermarkets are packed with working stiffs like myself.

People who say Katie Hopkins is an evil bitch ... I think she's great and just states the truth most of the time. She actually said the one above.

The old folk probably just want the stimulation of the hustle and bustle of a busy town and some human interaction.

professore

philstar wrote: »

when they don't look at you when you're talking to them

*btw - can you call a woman a wanker or is it just a male term??

I think you'll find that's just Aspergers Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorder. Generally these people are very honest !