The Fathers Thread

brianblaze wrote: »

Yeah as a self employed person I just have to close up shop for two weeks or that so it could be worse!

Do you have an actual shop or is that just a turn of phrase?? My husband is self employed with a shop and some staff, our son was luckily born on a bank holiday and it was closed (he obviously would've taken day off anyway!) but every other day he went and opened up, closed, stayed a few hours when he could. But we're lucky in that the hospital, our house and his shop are very close together.

Might as well if you can do/afford it!

robinph wrote: »

There were changes to paternity leave in April in the UK so was handy for me with a May birth. I think the two weeks paternity may have already been in place though, and the main change was that between both parents you are entitled to share a years leave. You only get any pay from the state though for about 6 months, and after that nothing unless your employer is topping it up.

Its 9 and not 6 months in the UK. 52 weeks leave, 39 paid and 37 of those can be split between the parents. The admin side of it is a balls though :mad:

Diamond Doll wrote: »

Big congrats on the new arrival!

To be honest, in your position, I'd be going quite easy on your eldest daughter for now. It's a lot of disruption and change for her to process! I think it's understandable if she's acting up a little bit, I'd go for a lot of extra cuddles and attention and chats for now rather than discipline, until things settle down a bit.

We've been consciously trying to give her more attention & cuddles etc. But even so she's still lashing out.

We were just playing earlier today when she decided to smack me across the back of the head. Conor McGregor would've been proud of the hook she gave me. Then later on she did the same to mammy while she was breastfeeding the newborn. Mammy's glasses were knocked off onto the floor with the force of it.

She also 'accidentally' throws herself around right beside the new baby and has managed to hit & kick the new baby in the face & head a couple of times. She has also hit her cousin & uncle yesterday.

Very hard to ignore this behaviour and not tell her it's wrong.

tempnam wrote: »

She's home full time since the start of the month. Before that (when my wife was in work before maternity leave) she was looked after by a family member with her older cousin while we were in work each day. We are going out of our way to make an extra fuss of her but it hasn't calmed her down yet!

Its a difficult situation to be in for all concerned. You older daughter has a sudden rival in her house for the love and affection of her parents. She doesn't understand that love isn't a finite resource and there is lots for both of your kids. The change in childcare arrangements won't have helped the situation either.
I have a 17 month old (and am 23 weeks pregnant too) who got quite disruptive after Christmas. The change in her routine (2 weeks off going to the minder, lots of time with both Mammy and Daddy and lots of time and attention from grandparents, cousins, aunties and uncles) meant that she didn't quite know which end of her was up.
I found that once we got her back into her regular routine she was back on track again after a day or two.
Is there any way you could establish the old routine for her again? I know your child care arrangements have altered but soon they will become the new normal for her. I really think children thrive with routine and knowing whats coming next.

Her lashing out and smacking, etc while understandable cannot be tolerated though. She might learn that its the best way to get what she wants when she wants or even just get some attention even if its negative attention.
Telling her firmly but quietly that slapping is not nice, it hurts people and being gentle is the only way to behave especially near the baby would be a good start perhaps.

All too soon I'm going to be in a very similar boat to you once baby #2 arrives. Good luck with getting things sorted and congratulations on your second baby.

Bit late to the party but better late than never.

The wife was due 2 days ago. I know its perfectly normal to go over but when the due date comes and goes it's a strange feeling.

Just can't wait for all the little moments that lie ahead :-)

Guys did any of you read a new Dad book? I was hoping to pick up something for my husband to read this week so he can start getting prepared!

FURET wrote: »

Just wondering if any other soon-to-be first-time-fathers are privately feeling a bit emotional at the prospect of becoming a father.

Soon to be first timer here (due November)

TBH, the whole thing hasn't really sunk in fully. We bought a house recently too and work is manic for me atm, so there's lots going on to distract me a bit from it. It does hit me every now and again in conversations with people (talking about their own kids) or when we're out and about doing everyday normal stuff that won't be everyday normal stuff ever again come November. Only our families know too so it's not like I'm talking about it to anyone other than my wife. Our first scan is in two weeks so that'll probably make it very real for me then.

Actually one thing that was quite cool was last week painting the room that will be our little ones bedroom one day. That was a bit surreal.