Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Yeah_Right · 14-10-2015 05:41PM

^^^^
Oh s**t. Here we go.

kunst nugget · 14-10-2015 05:59PM

PopePalpatine wrote: »

Thinking that it's not really rape if a woman is drunk but not unconscious yet.

Yikes, does this really need to be in this thread? It's been pretty light-hearted grumbling about ****, usually of the non-serious crime variety, up to now…

BoardsMember · 14-10-2015 06:17PM

kunst nugget wrote: »

He was on a plane surrounded by a heap of people. How exactly was he going to be pulling off some pedo moves on the kid? Some people need to calm down on the hysterics.

People looking for advice on how to be a paedo on a plane.

bodhrandude · 14-10-2015 06:28PM

Being a session musician, you will always experience a drunk loud mouth who is rabbiting on about themselves, its all ME, ME, ME, its a bit like listening to 2FM during the day when you are trying to play a tune in a pub. And don't get me started on people who think they can play a bodhran in 5 minutes, I just get dagger looks from the rest of the musicians as its the only way to get the drunk annoyance to shut up. Most of the time though I do love playing the tunes.

Captain Flaps · 15-10-2015 05:38PM

People who cycle the wrong way in cycle lanes

jmayo · 15-10-2015 06:01PM

Garzorico wrote: »

People who tell you they are going "travelling" when in fact they are going on holidays. Or indeed people who tell you 'such and such' is going 'travelling' when in fact they are going on holidays.
Just coz it's not Magaluf doesn't mean it's not holidays.

W*nkers.

What about travellers going on holiday.

Hijpo · 19-10-2015 09:01AM

Did anyone mention people who put big plastic eye lashes over car headlights?

DrPhilG · 19-10-2015 09:56AM

Hijpo wrote: »

Did anyone mention people who put big plastic eye lashes over car headlights?

My wife has left me instructions that I am never to grow a beard, even if she's dead and gone.

I have left similar instructions regarding putting eye lashes on the car.

valoren · 19-10-2015 10:02AM

Starbucks last Saturday.

Barista: Can I take your order?

Hipster-Wanker: Espresso Con Panna, to go.

Barista: Can I take your name?

Hipster-Wanker: .....(with a subtle smirk)......Hamlet.

Barista: :rolleyes:...(writes it on cup)

chillin117 · 19-10-2015 05:42PM

Hijpo wrote: »

Did anyone mention people who put big plastic eye lashes over car headlights?

Did anyone mention the Red nose and antlers on the car brigade ?

Aglomerado · 20-10-2015 01:02PM

chillin117 wrote: »

Did anyone mention the Red nose and antlers on the car brigade ?

...especially when they're still on the car, torn and weatherbeaten in mid July! :rolleyes:

I saw one last week and the red nose was a sad, anaemic pink.

illdoit2morrow · 20-10-2015 01:50PM

Admittedly I'm a below average, over 40's male who likes to kick a ball about once or twice a week with lads of the same age.

Every so often a new lad joins in and usually they are grand, but every once in a while a fella comes along who expects Messi type touches and runs from the rest of us, and then shows their disapproval when said move doesn't come off, I hate that guy.

OldNotWIse · 20-10-2015 01:54PM

People who are rude to cashiers/waitresses etc.

20-10-2015 02:27PM

chillin117 wrote: »

Did anyone mention the Red nose and antlers on the car brigade ?

People with cushions on the back window tray. Who sits there who needs a cushion?

People smoking in shop/bar/restaurant doorways, so that you have to walk through both their smoke and their conversation to get into the premises. Disgusting.

People having loud private conversations on their phones whilst in public or worst of all, on public transport. I sat through a mans chat with his mother while in a waiting room once, I don't need to know that level of detail about a strangers life, much less their parents specific digestive difficulties.

ColeTrain · 20-10-2015 02:35PM

Someone with over 1,500 Facebook 'friends'.

DaDartle · 20-10-2015 03:36PM

lightweight males wearing a winter hat in the summer halfway up their head with their perfectly combed fringe over their eyes.

CruelCoin · 20-10-2015 04:13PM

People dressed like this:http://glasgowliving.today/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/skinny-hipster.jpg

Oh wow, you're so cool and trendy! No, just **** off.

20-10-2015 04:15PM

CruelCoin wrote: »

People dressed like this:http://glasgowliving.today/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/skinny-hipster.jpg

Oh wow, you're so cool and trendy! No, just **** off.

He looks like an extra from 'Elf'.

readyletsgo · 20-10-2015 04:18PM

CruelCoin wrote: »

People dressed like this:http://glasgowliving.today/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/skinny-hipster.jpg

Oh wow, you're so cool and trendy! No, just **** off.

Lol that's more like 35 to 50 year old men trying to dress like 15 to 25 year olds.

I seriously don't understand people who can't stand people who dress like this. What's the problem? I have a problem with people who wear full knacker tracksuits all year round. No effort at all.

waraf · 20-10-2015 05:10PM

valoren wrote: »

Starbucks last Saturday.

Barista: Can I take your order?

Hipster-Wanker: Espresso Con Panna, to go.

Barista: Can I take your name?

Hipster-Wanker: .....(with a subtle smirk)......Hamlet.

Barista: :rolleyes:...(writes it on cup)

Right....you'll have to explain that one to the dim witted (i.e. me)

Puibo · 21-10-2015 01:25PM

waraf wrote:

Right....you'll have to explain that one to the dim witted (i.e. me)

Hipster=Wanker
Wanker=Hamlet
Get it??

asherbassad · 21-10-2015 01:59PM

CruelCoin wrote: »

People dressed like this:http://glasgowliving.today/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/skinny-hipster.jpg

Oh wow, you're so cool and trendy! No, just **** off.

Does he work in a grotto?

Noopti · 21-10-2015 02:21PM

OldNotWIse wrote: »

People who are rude to cashiers/waitresses etc.

Pretty sure we can refine this down to "People who are rude" - no matter the occupation is of the person they are rude to!

XplaygirlX · 21-10-2015 02:43PM

People who push right past you when their walking on the street, or when they jump the queue for the bus and don't apologise

blue5000 · 21-10-2015 02:57PM

Anyone who drives a volvo, bonus points if it's an estate.

valoren · 21-10-2015 02:57PM

waraf wrote: »

Right....you'll have to explain that one to the dim witted (i.e. me)

It's obvious that it wasn't his real name.

He could have had enough respect for the barista to give his real name and not something insultingly sarcastic. As we know, taking the piss out of service staff is verboten and is acting like a wanker.

Who knows, perhaps his name was actually Hamlet and I'm being harsh, therefore it's his parents who are the ****.

There's one actually. Parents who name their kids with 'pop cultural/fashion/sport' inspired names.

e.g.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2604103/Manchester-United-mad-mother-named-son-Rooney-Scholes-row-Thorntons-refuse-ice-Easter-egg-COPYRIGHT-ISSUES.html

OldNotWIse · 21-10-2015 02:58PM

Noopti wrote: »

Pretty sure we can refine this down to "People who are rude" - no matter the occupation is of the person they are rude to!

Yeah, I guess I was thinking about warning signs if you are out with someone. First dates and that

Lots of people appear nice but are rude to staff because they think they can get away with it, and at a later date you realise how nasty they are.

To take your point further, why don't we just refine it down to "people who are w*nkers"?

ps I think "broaden" might be more appropriate than refine, in this instance, given that the category would be expanding

OldNotWIse · 21-10-2015 03:01PM

eminemlover wrote: »

People who push right past you when their walking on the street, or when they jump the queue for the bus and don't apologise

Most people in this country don't know how to queue for public transport

sasta le · 21-10-2015 03:03PM

Guys who called themselves Paolo

OldNotWIse · 21-10-2015 03:05PM

People who eat "clean".

Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

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