Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

debabyjesus · 03-10-2015 12:14PM

Agricola wrote: »

People who tailgate if you are doing 5 mph below the limit, right on your bumper and constantly weaving in and out to tell you you're in their way. The worst ones don't actually overtake and just keep this shít up for mile after mile, probably expecting you to pull in!
Either overtake or stay behind at a safe distance you fúcking twát. :mad:

People who think they have the right to dictate speed limits and hug the middle of the road when clearly someone wants to pass them out and travel a bit faster.

chillin117 · 03-10-2015 12:27PM

People who leave a social gathering (in a house) late at night, say their loud goodbye's at the door then insist on giving a few LOUD beeps as they drive away..Tossers !

Stacksofwacks · 03-10-2015 01:19PM

chillin117 wrote: »

People who leave a social gathering (in a house) late at night, say their loud goodbye's at the door then insist on giving a few LOUD beeps as they drive away..Tossers !

people who have to put leaflets through every door in the neighbourhood telling them that they are having a gathering at their house with the local priest, finshing up the evening with tea and polo biscuits

bottlebrush · 03-10-2015 04:24PM

Stacksofwacks wrote: »

people who have to put leaflets through every door in the neighbourhood telling them that they are having a gathering at their house with the local priest, finshing up the evening with tea and polo biscuits

I didn't get any. I am most indignant! (does that mean I am a tosser?)

DEFTLEFTHAND · 03-10-2015 07:37PM

Wearing shades in doors. It's only acceptable if you are blind or a Mafia member.

Massimo Cassagrande · 03-10-2015 10:43PM

When there's a filter light, and it's only green for 10 seconds...and the utter, total gimp in front takes 5 seconds to move off. I want an rpg at those times. Badly.

booooring! · 04-10-2015 01:39PM

Massimo Cassagrande wrote: »

When there's a filter light, and it's only green for 10 seconds...and the utter, total gimp in front takes 5 seconds to move off. I want an rpg at those times. Badly.

I'd prefer a monster truck so I could drive over the ****

booooring! · 04-10-2015 02:13PM

People who start quoting in article 54 in section 32 of the irish ammendment trying to win an argument if though their wrong. Shut up you wanker.

CaraMay · 04-10-2015 09:16PM

People who wear Ugg's.

People called Blaithinid.

Eastern European weight lifters who swan around the gym like they are 'it'

People who love a good sing song and they are even more wanky when you are out having a drink and they tell people to shhhhh so the singer can belt out their toon.

lanos · 04-10-2015 10:45PM

booooring! wrote: »

People who start quoting in article 54 in section 32 of the irish ammendment trying to win an argument if though their wrong. Shut up you wanker.

What on earth is the irish ammendment ?

booooring! · 04-10-2015 11:55PM

lanos wrote: »

What on earth is the irish ammendment ?

Wanker alert!

Changes that have been put forward and passed.

lanos · 05-10-2015 12:16AM

booooring! wrote: »

Wanker alert!

Changes that have been put forward and passed.

I'm still confused.

Changes to what ?
Put forward by whom ?
Passed by whom ?

lanos · 05-10-2015 01:12AM

Massimo Cassagrande wrote: »

When there's a filter light, and it's only green for 10 seconds...and the utter, total gimp in front takes 5 seconds to move off. I want an rpg at those times. Badly.

booooring! wrote: »

I'd prefer a monster truck so I could drive over the ****

Some people are spending too much time playing GTA V
Come back to reality.

lanos · 05-10-2015 01:18AM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Wearing shades in doors. It's only acceptable if you are blind or a Mafia member.

You missed an obvious one.
in The Matrix

PTH2009 · 05-10-2015 01:42AM

one thing that annoys me is when a team wins a cup or something and all the players a dancing around singing that darts tune etc and people are staring at them like its something magical

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUg2HgTRZgc

heres an example.

Little things annoy me

:D:D

BlimpyBoy · 05-10-2015 11:23AM

CaraMay wrote: »

People who wear Ugg's.

People called Blaithinid.

Eastern European weight lifters who swan around the gym like they are 'it'

People who love a good sing song and they are even more wanky when you are out having a drink and they tell people to shhhhh so the singer can belt out their toon.

"Let me tell you a story 22 verses long,
About a woman who dildoed and didled along"

Captain Flaps · 05-10-2015 11:50AM

Brian from Bray wrote: »

If you're a man it would be wise too. Not unless you know them

I'm just back from my holidays in Spain.

We spent a few days in a very British/Irish resort town as part of the trip, one evening while watching the England/Wales match there was a baby getting fidgety and restless with his folks who were trying to keep him quiet so they didn't have to leave. I was sitting about 5 feet behind them and at one point I caught the babies attention and started making faces at him. He was transfixed and immediately shut up, grinned, and stared at me while I did it for the next 10 mins. His folks and their mates copped on fairly quickly and thought it was great, and kept laughing when he made faces back at me etc. It's just a thing I do automatically with young kids because more often than not they react well to it and so do their parents.

HOWEVER, a few days later I did the same thing on the plane and the parents immediately moved the kid over a seat and gave me seriously suspicious looks. I genuinely thought the father was going to start on me, he looked that annoyed. The only difference between the two situations was that I was sitting with my girlfriend at the pub and by myself on the plane. I genuinely wonder if that makes much of a difference?

The ironic part is that I'm garda vetted and have done child protection training as part of my position as a scout leader so I'm probably of the few people they'd come across who has a letter saying they're NOT a danger to children!

Captain Flaps · 05-10-2015 12:15PM

Ol' Donie wrote: »

Wait till the pilot turns the f*ckin seatbelt light off before turning on your phone. You're not THAT important.

Adding people who get narky about putting the phone in airplane mode. If your phone ACTUALLY had any bearing on the workings/equipment of a multi-million quid jet with hundreds of people on board you'd have it confiscated at security screening.

gimmick · 05-10-2015 02:58PM

Another unspoken one - adult men who wearing a single big diamondy earring. An absolute guarantee this guy is an utter bell end, so save time and never talk to this guy.

storker · 13-10-2015 11:52AM

People who use the term "West Brit" to dismiss the opinions of people who don't conform with every detail of their definition of Irishness.

valoren · 13-10-2015 12:01PM

Captain Flaps wrote: »

I'm just back from my holidays in Spain.

We spent a few days in a very British/Irish resort town as part of the trip, one evening while watching the England/Wales match there was a baby getting fidgety and restless with his folks who were trying to keep him quiet so they didn't have to leave. I was sitting about 5 feet behind them and at one point I caught the babies attention and started making faces at him. He was transfixed and immediately shut up, grinned, and stared at me while I did it for the next 10 mins. His folks and their mates copped on fairly quickly and thought it was great, and kept laughing when he made faces back at me etc. It's just a thing I do automatically with young kids because more often than not they react well to it and so do their parents.

HOWEVER, a few days later I did the same thing on the plane and the parents immediately moved the kid over a seat and gave me seriously suspicious looks. I genuinely thought the father was going to start on me, he looked that annoyed. The only difference between the two situations was that I was sitting with my girlfriend at the pub and by myself on the plane. I genuinely wonder if that makes much of a difference?

The ironic part is that I'm garda vetted and have done child protection training as part of my position as a scout leader so I'm probably of the few people they'd come across who has a letter saying they're NOT a danger to children!

It's just social proof.

You were with your girlfriend in the pub. She was your social proof. Everyone's ok.

You were alone in the second. No social proof. Not ok. Now if you had a child of your own with you and started making faces, the reaction would have been less hostile as you were a fellow parent i.e. the social proof that you're not a threat.

we'llallhavetea · 13-10-2015 12:05PM

People who think they're feckin deadly and need to tell you just how deadly they are at every possible chance.
People who talk over you, what's wrong with these people

Martyrs, cannot stand them, move on and stfu cnuty mcbitchfaces of the world!

lanos · 13-10-2015 11:31PM

Captain Flaps wrote: »

The ironic part is that I'm garda vetted and have done child protection training as part of my position as a scout leader so I'm probably of the few people they'd come across who has a letter saying they're NOT a danger to children!

most pedophiles have never been caught
so theoretically, they could do the same training as you and receive the same letter that you have.

and I doubt the letter you posses says that you are NOT a danger to kids.
I would guess that if it was worded like that, it would leave the Gardaí wide open to legal action if they made a mistake.

not so ironic really

Captain Flaps · 14-10-2015 09:46AM

lanos wrote: »

most pedophiles have never been caught
so theoretically, they could do the same training as you and receive the same letter that you have.

and I doubt the letter you posses says that you are NOT a danger to kids.
I would guess that if it was worded like that, it would leave the Gardaí wide open to legal action if they made a mistake.

not so ironic really

This guy.

kunst nugget · 14-10-2015 10:00AM

lanos wrote: »

most pedophiles have never been caught
so theoretically, they could do the same training as you and receive the same letter that you have.

and I doubt the letter you posses says that you are NOT a danger to kids.
I would guess that if it was worded like that, it would leave the Gardaí wide open to legal action if they made a mistake.

not so ironic really

He was on a plane surrounded by a heap of people. How exactly was he going to be pulling off some pedo moves on the kid? Some people need to calm down on the hysterics.

asherbassad · 14-10-2015 11:17AM

Captain Flaps wrote: »

I'm just back from my holidays in Spain.

We spent a few days in a very British/Irish resort town as part of the trip, one evening while watching the England/Wales match there was a baby getting fidgety and restless with his folks who were trying to keep him quiet so they didn't have to leave. I was sitting about 5 feet behind them and at one point I caught the babies attention and started making faces at him. He was transfixed and immediately shut up, grinned, and stared at me while I did it for the next 10 mins. His folks and their mates copped on fairly quickly and thought it was great, and kept laughing when he made faces back at me etc. It's just a thing I do automatically with young kids because more often than not they react well to it and so do their parents.

HOWEVER, a few days later I did the same thing on the plane and the parents immediately moved the kid over a seat and gave me seriously suspicious looks. I genuinely thought the father was going to start on me, he looked that annoyed. The only difference between the two situations was that I was sitting with my girlfriend at the pub and by myself on the plane. I genuinely wonder if that makes much of a difference?

The ironic part is that I'm garda vetted and have done child protection training as part of my position as a scout leader so I'm probably of the few people they'd come across who has a letter saying they're NOT a danger to children!

But did you have your cock out, giving it a good solid walloping while you were making faces at the kid on the plane?

Captain Flaps · 14-10-2015 01:54PM

That's neither here nor there.

KungPao · 14-10-2015 02:17PM

kunst nugget wrote: »

He was on a plane surrounded by a heap of people. How exactly was he going to be pulling off some pedo moves on the kid? Some people need to calm down on the hysterics.

But you can't be too careful these days. Paedos are everywhere, some even disguise themselves as schools to get closer to kids!

Boom_Bap · 14-10-2015 02:27PM

MOD
Time to move on from the paedo talk, and back to wanker watching.

(There a line I never thought I'd ever type).

PopePalpatine · 14-10-2015 04:47PM

Thinking that it's not really rape if a woman is drunk but not unconscious yet.

Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

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