Should I convert?

Strawberry33 · 21-04-2015 4:21pm #1

I'm in my 30s and a single parent. An ex introduced me to Islam and I am thinking of converting. How would Muslim women view me- would I be accepted? Would a local mosque be willing to guide me in matters of learning to dress, pray, learn Arabic and Marriage wise, how would I find a suitable husband?

eviltwin · 21-04-2015 4:23pm

Why would you want to? What about your child?

Kelly06 · 21-04-2015 4:31pm

eviltwin wrote: »

Why would you want to? What about your child?

+1 on this are your children male or female? It's a very oppressive religion for females. I certainly wouldn't thank a parent for forcing me to convert to it.

Geniass · 21-04-2015 4:32pm

What attracts you to Islam?

Strawberry33 · 21-04-2015 5:37pm

My child wouldn't, just me.

I am looking for meaning, structure and support in my life.

eviltwin · 21-04-2015 5:43pm

Strawberry33 wrote: »

My child wouldn't, just me.

I am looking for meaning, structure and support in my life.

Can you not get that without having to convert to a religion?

If you are a bit lost and looking for something to give you those things you can get that without having to totally overhaul your way of life which is what Islam will do.

How do you expect to parent your child as you do now if you are going to convert? How will it be when you are out in public and have to dress a certain way, how about when you have to defer to men, what about the impact if you do find a Muslim husband and he is in your child's life? I would imagine its going to be very difficult to marry your Muslim life with your child's non Muslim life.

Geniass · 21-04-2015 7:29pm

Strawberry33 wrote: »

I am looking for meaning, structure and support in my life.

None of those are reasons to convert. To look into Islam for sure.

However, Islam is not like most other religions. You cannot back out - backing out is, to put it mildly, frowned upon.

I would suspect very few muslim men would be interested in taking on a wife with a non Muslim child. Not a strictly religious one anyway, and that's what you seem to be after.

Defender OF Faith · 21-04-2015 9:43pm

Strawberry33 wrote: »

My child wouldn't, just me.

I am looking for meaning, structure and support in my life.

Listen sister, do not jump hastily to such a decision without a strong conviction that stems from your heat that Islam is the religion for you, our religion is a Faith of complete submission to our Creator and turning back once you enter is not easy.

Therefore the only advice I can give you as a Muslim, is to speak to this ex of yours who doesn't seem to be very practising to being with as any sort of extra-martial relationship or dating is not permitted in Islam without the intention of marriage, something your ought to keep in mind. Read more about Islam from appropriate sources, understand that the Net is filled with many Anti-Islamic and Islamophobic sites which aim to present a twisted picture of Islam, by perverting the narrations using weak transmission and taking things out of contexts so be careful where you get your information from, Wiki-Islam,Answering-Islam & Faithfreedom are the top on this list.

In conclusion do not convert to Islam until you reach a point and a convection in your heart that this is the correct religion for you, where you understand Islam well along with your obligation within the religion, finding a Muslim husband should be the last thing in your mind.

Otherwise you can find structure,meaning and support in your life in many other ways.

hamza81 · 27-06-2015 2:29pm

Strawberry33 wrote: »

I'm in my 30s and a single parent. An ex introduced me to Islam and I am thinking of converting. How would Muslim women view me- would I be accepted? Would a local mosque be willing to guide me in matters of learning to dress, pray, learn Arabic and Marriage wise, how would I find a suitable husband?

Hi there,

I can see from some of the responses in this thread that there seems to be a lot of ignorance of Islam and Muslims and what being a Muslim is really all about.

Firstly sister if you feel in your heart that you are certain that there is only one God and that Muhammad (Peace be upon him) is the last of the Messengers sent by God then you are essentially a Muslim. All that you need to do is to proclaim your faith with your tongue and heart. That is all there is to it. God guides whom he wills and it is clear that he is wanting to guide you. So walk towards him and he will run towards you.

So say the following with full conviction from your heart:

Ash hadoo Allah Ilaaha Illallaah Wa Ash Hadoo Anna Muhammadan Abduhoo Wara Sooloo

I proclaim that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is the slave and Messenger of Allah.

Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world. Here in the UK more people are accepting Islam than any other faith or religion. Most of those who accept Islam are women. If Islam was so "backward" and "oppressive" against women then why are so many women converting to Islam everyday?

That is because those who think in such a way have no knowledge of Islam and Muslims except what they see and hear on the media or from other ignorant people. If those things were true then no one would convert to Islam but a few. But that is not the case as more people are accepting Islam than any other faith or belief on the face of this Earth.

So to those who know nothing about Islam I would urge you to look into it with an open heart. Read the translation of the Qur'an with its meanings and commentary rather than taking lies from the media and only then will you see the truth!

With regards to how others will treat you then there is no doubt you will find many sisters will welcome you with open arms. You will find a lot of help and support. Many Masjids nowadays have regular programmes and courses for new Muslims and you will find new Muslim sisters groups so that you can get specialist support as a new Muslim. You will be surprised to find many new Muslim women like you who you can befriend. So I would urge you to get in contact with a few Mosques in your area and they will help and guide you. If you need help with this then please let me know and I can try and put you in contact with the right people.

With regards to finding a partner then again not only will you find many new Muslim men looking for partners but you will also find many born Muslim men who are looking for new Muslim women to marry. So I would not worry at all my sister as God is the one who matches his creation into pairs so ask of him and trust in him and he will find you the best partner for you.

With regards to your child then it depends how will they are but if you have found the truth then surely you would also want the same for your child. Just like we want the best for our children in this life then as Muslims we know that the Hereafter is the real life so we also want the best for our children in the Hereafter. Therefore as you are learning then teach your child the same. Whatever decisions our children make when they grow up is upto them as long as we did our best to teach them the right things and bring them up in the right way.

Obviously anyone accepting Islam is going to experience challenges and hurdles just like born Muslims experiences challenges and hurdles. We are human we all face different challenges each day. But these challenges and hurdles are a part of our test by God. God tests each of us in different ways in order to see how we will react whether we will we get closer to him or more further away.

But know that what ever challenges you will face then you will find many people who will be more than willing to help and support you. You will also find a large number of converted Muslim sisters who will befriend you and you can go through this amazing journey together.

There is no doubt your life will change for the better forever. You will have a renewed focus in life. Something to live for. No words can describe it. I have a few friends who I have helped to convert at the Mosque and they are more happy than they have ever imagined. Yes they have faced many challenges but that is what makes one closer to God. If we had no challenges then how will we grow and learn?

So my sister do not worry. If God led you to the truth then he will not just abandon you after that. Take one step at a time. The first thing is to accept the Shahahda as we do not know when our last moment will be.

If you need anymore help and advice then please do not hesitate to ask.

Spirogyra · 28-06-2015 4:07pm

hamza81 wrote: »

Hi there,

I can see from some of the responses in this thread that there seems to be a lot of ignorance of Islam and Muslims and what being a Muslim is really all about.

Firstly sister if you feel in your heart that you are certain that there is only one God and that Muhammad (Peace be upon him) is the last of the Messengers sent by God then you are essentially a Muslim. All that you need to do is to proclaim your faith with your tongue and heart. That is all there is to it. God guides whom he wills and it is clear that he is wanting to guide you. So walk towards him and he will run towards you.

So say the following with full conviction from your heart:

Ash hadoo Allah Ilaaha Illallaah Wa Ash Hadoo Anna Muhammadan Abduhoo Wara Sooloo

I proclaim that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is the slave and Messenger of Allah.

Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world. Here in the UK more people are accepting Islam than any other faith or religion. Most of those who accept Islam are women. If Islam was so "backward" and "oppressive" against women then why are so many women converting to Islam everyday?

That is because those who think in such a way have no knowledge of Islam and Muslims except what they see and hear on the media or from other ignorant people. If those things were true then no one would convert to Islam but a few. But that is not the case as more people are accepting Islam than any other faith or belief on the face of this Earth.

So to those who know nothing about Islam I would urge you to look into it with an open heart. Read the translation of the Qur'an with its meanings and commentary rather than taking lies from the media and only then will you see the truth!

With regards to how others will treat you then there is no doubt you will find many sisters will welcome you with open arms. You will find a lot of help and support. Many Masjids nowadays have regular programmes and courses for new Muslims and you will find new Muslim sisters groups so that you can get specialist support as a new Muslim. You will be surprised to find many new Muslim women like you who you can befriend. So I would urge you to get in contact with a few Mosques in your area and they will help and guide you. If you need help with this then please let me know and I can try and put you in contact with the right people.

With regards to finding a partner then again not only will you find many new Muslim men looking for partners but you will also find many born Muslim men who are looking for new Muslim women to marry. So I would not worry at all my sister as God is the one who matches his creation into pairs so ask of him and trust in him and he will find you the best partner for you.

With regards to your child then it depends how will they are but if you have found the truth then surely you would also want the same for your child. Just like we want the best for our children in this life then as Muslims we know that the Hereafter is the real life so we also want the best for our children in the Hereafter. Therefore as you are learning then teach your child the same. Whatever decisions our children make when they grow up is upto them as long as we did our best to teach them the right things and bring them up in the right way.

Obviously anyone accepting Islam is going to experience challenges and hurdles just like born Muslims experiences challenges and hurdles. We are human we all face different challenges each day. But these challenges and hurdles are a part of our test by God. God tests each of us in different ways in order to see how we will react whether we will we get closer to him or more further away.

But know that what ever challenges you will face then you will find many people who will be more than willing to help and support you. You will also find a large number of converted Muslim sisters who will befriend you and you can go through this amazing journey together.

There is no doubt your life will change for the better forever. You will have a renewed focus in life. Something to live for. No words can describe it. I have a few friends who I have helped to convert at the Mosque and they are more happy than they have ever imagined. Yes they have faced many challenges but that is what makes one closer to God. If we had no challenges then how will we grow and learn?

So my sister do not worry. If God led you to the truth then he will not just abandon you after that. Take one step at a time. The first thing is to accept the Shahahda as we do not know when our last moment will be.

If you need anymore help and advice then please do not hesitate to ask.

Islam is only the fastest growing religion in the world (if one excludes Atheism/Humanism) because birth rate's amongst it's followers (who are afraid to publicly leave or question their 'faith') is the highest. It's not due to objective analysis of the truth of Islam. Watch the difficulties of a girl who has left Islam http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/33005214/ex-muslim-my-parents-dont-want-me-to-burn-in-hell The reason why birth rates are highest amongst Muslims is misogyny and poverty. Islam is an information control cult, where questioning and independent thinking is worse than frowned upon. It controls people.

I think Hamza urging conversion is wholly inappropriate and irresponsible. You are attempting to control someone, to railroad them into a hasty conversion, which will turn her life upside down, with no way out. I don't think such should be accepted on Boards.ie .

I accept the likelihood of a ban, but such will not change the truthfulness of what I say.

eviltwin · 28-06-2015 4:14pm

Spirogyra wrote: »

Islam is only the fastest growing religion in the world (if one excludes Atheism/Humanism) because birth rate's amongst it's followers (who are afraid to publicly leave or question their 'faith') is the highest. It's not due to objective analysis of the truth of Islam. Watch the difficulties of a girl who has left Islam http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/33005214/ex-muslim-my-parents-dont-want-me-to-burn-in-hell The reason why birth rates are highest amongst Muslims is misogyny and poverty. Islam is an information control cult, where questioning and independent thinking is worse than frowned upon. It controls people.

I think Hamza urging conversion is wholly inappropriate and irresponsible. You are attempting to control someone, to railroad them into a hasty conversion, which will turn her life upside down, with no way out. I don't think such should be accepted on Boards.ie .

I accept the likelihood of a ban, but such will not change the truthfulness of what I say.

I completely agree. I think there are probably lots of people in the OP's position, feeling a bit lost and in need of something to give them a bit of grounding or stability. I don't think a religion is the right way to do this, any religion but Islam in particular. This woman has to think about her child as well as herself.

Reoil · 28-06-2015 4:27pm

hamza81 wrote: »

Firstly sister if you feel in your heart that you are certain that there is only one God and that Muhammad (Peace be upon him) is the last of the Messengers sent by God then you are essentially a Muslim.

There is no doubt your life will change for the better forever.

This. This is utter bollocks.

"Sister"?!
"There is no doubt your life will change for the better forever."
Bollocks. She could get hit by a bus tomorrow.

Have faith. Grand. Don't try to spread it on to others.
"Peace be upon him"? What, to make up for the evil some of his followers are showing on earth today? Christians too.

Reoil. (Peace be upon me).

athtrasna · 28-06-2015 4:31pm

Strawberry33 wrote: »

My child wouldn't, just me.

I am looking for meaning, structure and support in my life.

You should like a large number of Irish women drawn to Islam, for all the wrong reasons. Have you considered other religions. For meaning and support consider Buddhism, a much more positive religion that accepts you as you are.

Tom Dunne · 28-06-2015 4:33pm

Ok folks, can we keep it civil, please?

I appreciate not everyone is going to have the same opinions, but you can make your point without resorting to insults.

And remember, some of the posters on this forum do not have English as their first language.

eviltwin · 28-06-2015 4:35pm

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Ok folks, can we keep it civil, please?

I appreciate not everyone is going to have the same opinions, but you can make your point without resorting to insults.

And remember, some of the posters on this forum do not have English as their first language.

Its irresponsible for someone to encourage a clearly troubled person to convert to a religion.

Tom Dunne · 28-06-2015 4:44pm

eviltwin wrote: »

Its irresponsible for someone to encourage a clearly troubled person to convert to a religion.

Switching out of moderator mode, I would hope that somebody would base their decision to convert to another religion on more than just a single post on an internet forum.

eviltwin · 28-06-2015 4:46pm

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Switching out of moderator mode, I would hope that somebody would base their decision to convert to another religion on more than just a single post on an internet forum.

You'd hope so but I'd wonder at the ability of someone to make a rational decision when they see a religion as an answer to their problems. I just think its unfair to the lady in question.

Reoil · 28-06-2015 5:08pm

I admire how medical advice is banned from boards.ie, but it is perfectly acceptable to give religious "advice" to somebody who is clearly confused about which religion to follow.

Strawberry33, have you thought about atheism? If you can't decide on which "God" created and guides you, I think you might need to look at little further than the internet...

(Peace be upon me)

Tom Dunne · 28-06-2015 5:39pm

Reoil wrote: »

I admire how medical advice is banned from boards.ie, but it is perfectly acceptable to give religious "advice" to somebody who is clearly confused about which religion to follow.

I'm sure if you brought this issue up in the site Feedback forum you would get some debate going.

Go for it, I say.

Reoil · 28-06-2015 5:52pm

Tom Dunne wrote: »

I'm sure if you brought this issue up in the site Feedback forum you would get some debate going.

Go for it, I say.

Physical aliments verses fictional deities would be a different matter.
I'm not here to create confrontation, moreso, just to help explain where there shouldn't be any of the latter...

Bongalongherb · 28-06-2015 6:04pm

This is exactly what the OP needs to personally think about. The Op needs to allow her brain to think 'independently'. Independent thought is the key to what you really believe. And if you haven't got a free independent thought structure, then you have no idea what you want to convert to.

Spirogyra · 28-06-2015 6:16pm

Bongalongherb wrote: »

This is exactly what the OP needs to personally think about. The Op needs to allow her brain to think 'independently'. Independent thought is the key to what you really believe. And if you haven't got a free independent thought structure, then you have no idea what you want to convert to.

which is exactly what Islam will circumvent, which is why more people do not question or leave the faith openly, because Islam seeks to control them, with severe sanctions for anyone who does....see the BBC link, threats of going to hell, as well as social/family isolation, and that's for the lucky one's...

No faith which doesn't allow people to make up their own minds, that relies on threats, can be considered anything other than a cult.

hamza81 · 28-06-2015 6:34pm

Spirogyra wrote: »

Islam is only the fastest growing religion in the world (if one excludes Atheism/Humanism) because birth rate's amongst it's followers (who are afraid to publicly leave or question their 'faith') is the highest. It's not due to objective analysis of the truth of Islam. The reason why birth rates are highest amongst Muslims is misogyny and poverty. Islam is an information control cult, where questioning and independent thinking is worse than frowned upon. It controls people.

I think Hamza urging conversion is wholly inappropriate and irresponsible. You are attempting to control someone, to railroad them into a hasty conversion, which will turn her life upside down, with no way out. I don't think such should be accepted on Boards.ie .

I accept the likelihood of a ban, but such will not change the truthfulness of what I say.

When I said that Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world I meant by conversion not birth.

In the period 1990-2000, approximately 12.5 million more people converted to Islam than to Christianity” (Guinness World Records 2003, pg 102)

In the west in the Uk, Europe and the Americas more people are converting to Islam than any other faith or belief on the face of this Earth most of them women.

You can copy and paste one story of an "ex Muslim" and I can paste you tens of stories from those who have converted to Islam from their own accounts.

You say I am "urging" conversion. Well from reading your posts in this thread you are "urging" her not to convert.

So I am wrong If I urge her to convert but you are right if you urge her not to? Talk about double standards.

Your comments in this thread wreak of ignorance and intolerance.

raah! · 28-06-2015 6:38pm

Also bear in mind OP that obviously what the majority of posters on this thread are saying comes from a standpoint where religion is inherently bad and contradictory to their world view. Being ignorant of their own systems of thought and how other people form theirs, they think that their is the objectively correct and "logical" standpoint (though there's a high chance that most of them don't actually know what that word means).

These are the foamy mouthed adherents of new atheism a contradictory mix of scientism , moral absolutism and antipathy towards other world views. Their posts should be taken with the same grain of salt that one should take the words of any member of an absolutist ideology which confilcts the the tenets of that which you asked them about. In other words, they are members of a religion whose primary teachings are bigotry towards other religions and a sense of superiority over those who do not share their views.

hamza81 · 28-06-2015 6:39pm

eviltwin wrote: »

I don't think a religion is the right way to do this, any religion but Islam in particular. This woman has to think about her child as well as herself.

That is your point of view. You clearly know nothing about Islam except for what you hear about it in the media and anti Islamic websites.

Why in your view is Islam not right for her or her child?

Bongalongherb · 28-06-2015 6:41pm

hamza81 wrote: »

When I said that Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world I meant by conversion not birth.

In the period 1990-2000, approximately 12.5 million more people converted to Islam than to Christianity” (Guinness World Records 2003, pg 102)

In the west in the Uk, Europe and the Americas more people are converting to Islam than any other faith or belief on the face of this Earth most of them women.

You can copy and paste one story of an "ex Muslim" and I can paste you tens of stories from those who have converted to Islam from their own accounts.

You say I am "urging" conversion. Well from reading your posts in this thread you are "urging" her not to convert.

So I am wrong If I urge her to convert but you are right if you urge her not to? Talk about double standards.

Your comments in this thread wreak of ignorance and intolerance.

Well in that case then, there is a lot of troubled non-independent thinking folk. I cannot imagine moving through this world with no personal independent thought, I may as well be a zombie.

Hang on a second there. I think I'll convert from atheistism to blindly believing in a non-existant entity. Where is my independent thought ? maybe I just lost it. There's no point in moving through this world like a programmed robot. Use the brain and common independent thought you have been given. Put it to good use, and when you see the awakening of this you will see what I mean.

Would you blindly walk over a cliff ? be careful what you walk into.

hamza81 · 28-06-2015 6:42pm

Reoil wrote: »

This. This is utter bollocks.

"Sister"?!
"There is no doubt your life will change for the better forever."
Bollocks. She could get hit by a bus tomorrow.

Have faith. Grand. Don't try to spread it on to others.
"Peace be upon him"? What, to make up for the evil some of his followers are showing on earth today? Christians too.

Reoil. (Peace be upon me).

Firstly you should refrain from profanity. It is not befitting in an adult conversation.

Secondly if she has come here to ask for views and opinions then why is it that if someone does urge her to go with her convictions and convert then they are doing "wrong" but if they urge her not to convert then they are correct in doing so?

Kalman · 28-06-2015 6:44pm

Strawberry33 wrote: »

I'm in my 30s and a single parent. An ex introduced me to Islam and I am thinking of converting. How would Muslim women view me- would I be accepted? Would a local mosque be willing to guide me in matters of learning to dress, pray, learn Arabic and Marriage wise, how would I find a suitable husband?

Pass!!

mikemac1 · 28-06-2015 6:46pm

Strawberry33 wrote: »

I'm in my 30s and a single parent. An ex introduced me to Islam and I am thinking of converting. How would Muslim women view me- would I be accepted? Would a local mosque be willing to guide me in matters of learning to dress, pray, learn Arabic and Marriage wise, how would I find a suitable husband?

Boards.ie and Google have you covered for meeting a husband

I'm getting an ad for Muslim singles

Bongalongherb · 28-06-2015 6:49pm

hamza81 wrote: »

Firstly you should refrain from profanity. It is not befitting in an adult conversation.

Secondly if she has come here to ask for views and opinions then why is it that if someone does urge her to go with her convictions and convert then they are doing "wrong" but if they urge her not to convert then they are correct in doing so?

Don't be back-seat modding.

Tom Dunne · 28-06-2015 6:56pm

hamza81 wrote: »

Firstly you should refrain from profanity. It is not befitting in an adult conversation.

Bongalongherb wrote: »

Don't be back-seat modding.

If you have an issue with a post, report it.

Otherwise, refrain from such commentary and stick to the topic at hand.

Should I convert?

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