Requesting guest specific gift.

Lau2976 wrote: »

I Wasn't given a plus one option. They have me on their "single and ready to mingle list" and yes, it's an actual, written down, printed list.

Yikes..wonder what financial value they're putting on couples?!

These people are deranged.....

Lau2976 wrote: »

They had boxes on the back of the invite with

Couple

Couple + _ child/ren

Single and ready to mingle! (No +1)

Mine was already pre-ticked the 3rd one.

I am crying laughing at this. What is wrong with these people!!!

Meangadh wrote: »

I agree that allowing people to choose is better than this particular situation on this thread- but I'm sorry, I'll never be ok with a mention of gifts on an invite. It's tacky, crass, needy and completely missing the point of a wedding. [B} Yes, gifts are traditional- but it should be completely up to the guest. Feck the list. Feck what the Bride and Groom want. That's not why they're getting married, and personally I couldn't care less whether they get stuff they "want" or not. What they "want" is to get married. Anything extra on top of that is a bonus that they should accept with gratitude, even if it's a crappy tenth set of knives.

(Sorry I realise I'm an awful grump when it comes to this, but it's one of my biggest bug bears in the world!!)

Guests expect to get information with an invitation, if they are going to ask about a registry anyway it makes sense to tell people on the invitation that there is one if people want to look at it, that doesn't mean a couple are demanding those items be bought. There isn't anything rude about it and it certainly doesn't miss the point of a wedding. I'm getting married this year and I'm moving house, we don't need (or want) crystal champagne flutes but we do need pots and pans, if someone wants to give us a gift I want them to know what we need. A registry is the easiest and most polite way of doing that both for us and our guests.

Just as a gift should be received with gratitude (whether you wanted it or not), a gift should be given freely and without conditions, the attitude of "you will get what I give you and you'll like it whether it is any good to you or not" is no way to give a gift. Better off not giving anything at all if that is the case.

Uno my Uno. wrote: »

Just as a gift should be received with gratitude (whether you wanted it or not), a gift should be given freely and without conditions, the attitude of "you will get what I give you and you'll like it whether it is any good to you or not" is no way to give a gift. Better off not giving anything at all if that is the case.

I don't think anyone really gives a gift with a "like it or lump it" attitude. Perhaps I'm wrong. It's certainly not a nice way to be.
When I buy a gift for a wedding couple I usually try and put thought into it and get something suited to the couple.


I think its more that some people don't like the idea of being told what to buy. I get the function of a registry, and if people choose to have one that's their prerogative, but it's not to my personal taste.

Our list that I previously mentioned was fab, esp as when we went to collect the gifts they gave us the list of presents purchased and we could choose if we still wanted them ( two gifts had been bought off list so we didnt need the ones from the list) and if not we could get a voucher to their value....and we collected them during the christmas sales so they gave us them all at the sale price and gave us the differnce in vouchers

So we have all the gifts from people to show them if they ever call over but got lots of extra bits too

Lau2976 wrote: »

They had boxes on the back of the invite with

Couple

Couple + _ child/ren

Single and ready to mingle! (No +1)

Mine was already pre-ticked the 3rd one.

:eek::eek::eek:

Holy God. These two just get worse! I've no problem with people not putting "and guest" or "plus one" on an invite really, especially if they do know you're not currently with anyone and you know other people at the wedding so you won't be on your own. But "single and ready to mingle" is so cringe! Makes it sound like you're going to hop on the the nearest fellow single person at the wedding... You'd have to laugh or you'd cry

Uno my Uno. wrote: »

Guests expect to get information with an invitation, if they are going to ask about a registry anyway it makes sense to tell people on the invitation that there is one if people want to look at it, that doesn't mean a couple are demanding those items be bought. There isn't anything rude about it and it certainly doesn't miss the point of a wedding. I'm getting married this year and I'm moving house, we don't need (or want) crystal champagne flutes but we do need pots and pans, if someone wants to give us a gift I want them to know what we need. A registry is the easiest and most polite way of doing that both for us and our guests.

Just as a gift should be received with gratitude (whether you wanted it or not), a gift should be given freely and without conditions, the attitude of "you will get what I give you and you'll like it whether it is any good to you or not" is no way to give a gift. Better off not giving anything at all if that is the case.

I do see where you're coming from, honestly, but I just feel if there's something a couple needs, that's up to them to buy themselves. It shouldn't be up to the guests to provide these things. I would imagine most gifts *are* bought freely and without conditions- and in fact it is the couple who specify what gifts they want are the ones who are applying the conditions. I know I always buy things I feel the couple would like and would use. But I would really be annoyed if they requested something specific (even off a list)- unless I asked them of course.

Uno my Uno. wrote: »

Totally agree, and hey no one "has" to buy something from a registry, ultimately everyone is free to give (or not) whatever gift they wish. My main point was that having a registry and letting people about it isn't rude, demanding or anything like it.

We'll have to agree to disagree on this I'm afraid I'll just never ever think it's ok to ask your guests for anything. They'll almost all get you something anyway, and with thought put into it, (or even usually cash really so you can get what you like then). And if there's anything you don't like, then so what. You'll have had a lovely day with friends and family.

Meangadh wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek:

I do see where you're coming from, honestly, but I just feel if there's something a couple needs, that's up to them to buy themselves. It shouldn't be up to the guests to provide these things. I would imagine most gifts *are* bought freely and without conditions- and in fact it is the couple who specify what gifts they want are the ones who are applying the conditions. I know I always buy things I feel the couple would like and would use. But I would really be annoyed if they requested something specific (even off a list)- unless I asked them of course.

We'll have to agree to disagree on this I'm afraid I'll just never ever think it's ok to ask your guests for anything. They'll almost all get you something anyway, and with thought put into it, (or even usually cash really so you can get what you like then). And if there's anything you don't like, then so what. You'll have had a lovely day with friends and family.

I don't think you understand my posts or what a registry is really about. I never suggested it is up to guests to provide anything for a couple and having a registry isn't asking your guests to buy you a gift or insisting that you buy them anything at all. Your guests don't have to buy anything off it but if they want to know what you want or need (and people generally do) the registry is just a list for them to look at and help them choose.

It amazes me that people get offended so easily over these things. A person is totally happy to spend money on a gift but when the couple says "hey if you're going to get us a gift can you make it one of these items?" all of a sudden its greedy and crass and instead they should just be glad they got another set of steak knives which they can't sell online because that too would be crass/greedy/etc. To me its just sensible planning, the couple gets something they want/need and the guest knows they are giving something that will be truly appreciated and not in the attic or on ebay in two weeks time :o:o

When is this wedding ? I will really miss this thread when its all over !!

solerina wrote: »

When is this wedding ? I will really miss this thread when its all over !!

I think she said March! I don't know whether I can handle another month of this, I am so looking forward to hear how the day goes but will also be left feeling very empty after this has passed!