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Requesting guest specific gift.

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  • Options
    #632
    Lau2976
    Registered Users Posts: 1,030 ✭✭✭Lau2976


    Neyite wrote: »
    No, I just said those because the link Bridesmaidgate was shared on FB, and fears that the bride and groom would spot it and the OP would have been in awful trouble - especially since she was a bridesmaid.

    So the thread was deleted before the wedding because it was only a matter of time before the couple saw it at the rate it was going. And we missed out on key updates and further mirth because of it. :( Even now, it would be a brilliant read for people who missed it at the time, but its gone for good, a victim of its own success.

    The same could easily happen here - lets face it, if you were the couple, you'd spot instantly that this thread is about your wedding.

    TBH I'm not bothered if they see it. I'm only posting information that they have available anyway.


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    #633
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Lau2976 wrote: »
    TBH I'm not bothered if they see it. I'm only posting information that they have available anyway.

    I know. But they can complain to boards and the thread will get deleted.


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    #634
    MistyCheese
    Registered Users Posts: 4,005 ✭✭✭MistyCheese


    LynnGrace wrote: »
    Yes, they thought about it...and that was just as good as giving it ;), in their minds.

    In our case they thought about how to avoid giving a gift. Not a wedding gift though, a present for their nieces first Christmas.


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    #635
    Frynge
    Registered Users Posts: 1,667 ✭✭✭Frynge


    ballsymchugh wrote: »
    these kind of things will get used, more than likely as wedding gifts.

    there's probably only been 5 sets of candlesticks sold in ireland in the past 25 years as wedding presents, but they just keep getting rewrapped and regifted!

    Not quite sure that is true as when I got married in August last we got about 15 picture frames, some of which are the same, but I jokingly said to my ma when she said she was going to get a picture frame for something that I had loads. When she actually asked me for it myself and the wife became hesitant with them being given away. What we did in the end was my ma put pics of our day into some of the gifts we got and used the frames they were in to give away as they were not gifts.


    Also I will be going to a wedding next year or the year after and I have the gift already sorted. My friend loaned me the complete box set of stargate SG-1, I think in 2006 and I still haven't returned it to him so they will all be wrapped up in the one box and returned to him.

    I plan to put a fiver into each DVD case (about 50 of them) as their actual gift as a surprise. To make sure it works all I have to do is make sure I don't get drunk around him and tell him. Also everyone here keep stump.


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    #636
    kitten_k
    Registered Users Posts: 6,046 ✭✭✭kitten_k


    Not specifically a wedding but along the same road:

    http://www.breakingnews.ie/showbiz/myleenes-klass-war-over-bonkers-gift-email-660955.html


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    #637
    pooch90
    Registered Users Posts: 2,379 ✭✭✭pooch90


    Neyite wrote: »
    No, I just said those because the link Bridesmaidgate was shared on FB, and fears that the bride and groom would spot it and the OP would have been in awful trouble - especially since she was a bridesmaid.

    So the thread was deleted before the wedding because it was only a matter of time before the couple saw it at the rate it was going. And we missed out on key updates and further mirth because of it. :( Even now, it would be a brilliant read for people who missed it at the time, but its gone for good, a victim of its own success.

    The same could easily happen here - lets face it, if you were the couple, you'd spot instantly that this thread is about your wedding.

    Ah ok, no it was educationposts forum.


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    #638
    Lau2976
    Registered Users Posts: 1,030 ✭✭✭Lau2976


    pooch90 wrote: »
    Ah ok, no it was educationposts forum.

    Wow. I really expected 1 or 2 responses on here and that was it.


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    #639
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    Frynge wrote: »
    Also I will be going to a wedding next year or the year after and I have the gift already sorted. My friend loaned me the complete box set of stargate SG-1, I think in 2006 and I still haven't returned it to him so they will all be wrapped up in the one box and returned to him.

    I plan to put a fiver into each DVD case (about 50 of them) as their actual gift as a surprise. To make sure it works all I have to do is make sure I don't get drunk around him and tell him. Also everyone here keep stump.
    As with the toasters above, your friend wont check, and will think you are a tight git till the end of time.


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    #640
    Tarzana2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,553 ✭✭✭Tarzana2


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Have a read of this!
    http://www.independent.ie/style/weddings/irish-couple-invite-strangers-to-bid-on-seats-to-their-vegas-wedding-to-fund-big-day-30928346.html

    Still just the one bid. cough *themselves* cough

    Quelle surprise. :rolleyes::pac:


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    #641
    Rainbow_Bright
    Registered Users Posts: 112 ✭✭Rainbow_Bright


    Hopefully I'm not taking this thread in too different a direction but it seems that this attitude has also been affecting children's birthday parties in the UK:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2940717/Myleene-Klass-hits-bonkers-email-school-mothers.html


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    #642
    BrianBoru00
    Registered Users Posts: 1,035 ✭✭✭BrianBoru00


    Rainbow_Bright wrote: »
    Hopefully I'm not taking this thread in too different a direction but it seems that this attitude has also been affecting children's birthday parties in the UK:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2940717/Myleene-Klass-hits-bonkers-email-school-mothers.html

    Am I the only one who doesn't see a huge pile wrong with this?
    Instead of 20 children all going to a party and brininging various gifts of about £10 , the suggestion is that 2 very good presents are bought....

    This is a private fee paying school so the families can obviously well afford a tenner for each birthday party...


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    #643
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    Rainbow_Bright wrote: »
    Hopefully I'm not taking this thread in too different a direction but it seems that this attitude has also been affecting children's birthday parties in the UK:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2940717/Myleene-Klass-hits-bonkers-email-school-mothers.html

    Bonkers! Absolutely bonkers!


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    #644
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    BrianBoru00 wrote: »
    Am I the only one who doesn't see a huge pile wrong with this?
    Instead of 20 children all going to a party and brininging various gifts of about £10 , the suggestion is that 2 very good presents are bought....

    This is a private fee paying school so the families can obviously well afford a tenner for each birthday party...

    Its pressure to contribute - an expectation that you wouldnt dare not to. Its dictating what you give, and setting a value on it. The next step would be shaming those who dont give, distributing invoices, or refusing a party invitation to non paying children. Turning a birthday where gift giving is optional, into a ticketed event. Its distasteful and money grubbing at best.


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    #645
    beyondbelief67
    Registered Users Posts: 550 ✭✭✭beyondbelief67


    Neyite wrote: »
    No, I just said those because the link Bridesmaidgate was shared on FB, and fears that the bride and groom would spot it and the OP would have been in awful trouble - especially since she was a bridesmaid.

    So the thread was deleted before the wedding because it was only a matter of time before the couple saw it at the rate it was going. And we missed out on key updates and further mirth because of it. :( Even now, it would be a brilliant read for people who missed it at the time, but its gone for good, a victim of its own success.

    The same could easily happen here - lets face it, if you were the couple, you'd spot instantly that this thread is about your wedding.

    It's not gone just locked.

    http://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057262110/1


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    #646
    MistyCheese
    Registered Users Posts: 4,005 ✭✭✭MistyCheese


    BrianBoru00 wrote: »
    This is a private fee paying school so the families can obviously well afford a tenner for each birthday party...

    Which should prove that it's really not about the money. It just rubs some people up the wrong way when people ask for a gift. Or specify a gift. Even in situations where gifts are traditionally given, such as a wedding or a kids birthday party.

    There is a logic to the thinking 'instead of little Angelica getting 10 little £20 things why not one £200 thing.' But, as you point out, it's a private fee-paying school. So can't mum provide the big presents herself? If she feels her little darling should have a Kindle? Just like this couple who felt OP should get them a stand mixer.


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    #647
    kitten_k
    Registered Users Posts: 6,046 ✭✭✭kitten_k


    beyondbelief67 wrote: »
    It's not gone just locked.

    http://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057262110/1

    That is the update thread, there was a big thread before that about it that was removed.


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    #648
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    BrianBoru00 wrote: »
    Am I the only one who doesn't see a huge pile wrong with this?
    Instead of 20 children all going to a party and brininging various gifts of about £10 , the suggestion is that 2 very good presents are bought....

    This is a private fee paying school so the families can obviously well afford a tenner for each birthday party...

    Sending children the message that they can dictate what gifts they are given is terrible. And leads directly to the attitude that other people owe you because you invited them to celebrate your wedding.


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    #649
    BrianBoru00
    Registered Users Posts: 1,035 ✭✭✭BrianBoru00


    lazygal wrote: »
    Sending children the message that they can dictate what gifts they are given is terrible. And leads directly to the attitude that other people owe you because you invited them to celebrate your wedding.

    If its the done thing in the school among the 20 or so children to bring a gift then I see nothing wrong with it.

    Thats a far cry from sending out requests for wedding gifts that cost €200+ where it will already at least that again to attend between drinks, travel, makeup,hair before considering staying over.


  • Options
    #650
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    BrianBoru00 wrote: »
    If its the done thing in the school among the 20 or so children to bring a gift then I see nothing wrong with it.

    Thats a far cry from sending out requests for wedding gifts that cost €200+ where it will already at least that again to attend between drinks, travel, makeup,hair before considering staying over.

    I intend to tell my children that asking people to give you money or anything else simply because you have invited them to celebrate an event of your choosing is rude. I couldn't care less that this is becoming or is 'the done thing.' Children's parties being now seen as an opportunity to tell other people what a child wants or expects is incredibly crass. What ever happened to being a gracious host and not mentioning gifts at all? Why would anyone even think of mentioning what to get a child, unless they were asked?
    It is this type of nonsense, where children see their parents being rude about telling other people 'give us money, we don't want crap', that leads to them thinking its perfectly normal to send out the same message for their weddings.


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    #651
    Flippyfloppy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,748 ✭✭✭Flippyfloppy


    BrianBoru00 wrote: »
    If its the done thing in the school among the 20 or so children to bring a gift then I see nothing wrong with it.

    Thats a far cry from sending out requests for wedding gifts that cost €200+ where it will already at least that again to attend between drinks, travel, makeup,hair before considering staying over.

    For starters the email was worded horribly. It would be different if another mother sent an email saying 'hey how about we all chip in for a gift, I know they want ______' but to say things like '.......give me money' and 'they'd prefer a class gift this year' along with some other choice phrases gave the letter a very greedy and demanding tone.


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    #652
    tinkerbell
    Registered Users Posts: 6,423 ✭✭✭tinkerbell


    Frynge wrote: »
    Also I will be going to a wedding next year or the year after and I have the gift already sorted. My friend loaned me the complete box set of stargate SG-1, I think in 2006 and I still haven't returned it to him so they will all be wrapped up in the one box and returned to him.

    I plan to put a fiver into each DVD case (about 50 of them) as their actual gift as a surprise. To make sure it works all I have to do is make sure I don't get drunk around him and tell him. Also everyone here keep stump.

    Ummmm .... Ok :confused:

    Do you not think that this is an incredibly stupid idea? Your friend is never gonna check those boxes of Stargate. In fact they might have another friend who wants the loan of them and so just hand them over or they might just sell it and then someone else has all the money. In the meantime your friend thinks you're a miserable stinge for not giving them any gift at all!!


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    #653
    Agent Smyth
    Registered Users Posts: 714 ✭✭✭Agent Smyth


    MistyCheese wrote: »
    Which should prove that it's really not about the money. It just rubs some people up the wrong way when people ask for a gift. Or specify a gift. Even in situations where gifts are traditionally given, such as a wedding or a kids birthday party.

    I think this hits the nail on the head.

    we all know that the tradition is to give a gift and most of us have no problem with this but when asked/told/informed about said gift, we feel the goodwill has been taken from our decision and are been forced into giving a gift


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    #654
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,913 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    pooch90 wrote: »
    I've seen it linked on another forum already! Is it only on FB/Twitter that it would be shut down?

    Oh crap. Well it looks like this one may be on borrowed time.

    If the OP is happy for it to stay open, then I'm happy to leave it open for now. However, if Boards HQ gets an angry email about it, we'll have no choice but to shut it down.


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    #655
    pooch90
    Registered Users Posts: 2,379 ✭✭✭pooch90


    Oh no!
    I can PM the poster on the other site and ask them to remove link if you want?
    Be a tragedy not to see how this pans out!


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    #656
    ShazGV
    Registered Users Posts: 1,508 ✭✭✭ShazGV


    Fingers crossed that doesn't happen any time soon!


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    #657
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    Toots wrote: »
    Oh crap. Well it looks like this one may be on borrowed time.

    If the OP is happy for it to stay open, then I'm happy to leave it open for now. However, if Boards HQ gets an angry email about it, we'll have no choice but to shut it down.

    Although I really want to know what happens here. I think id actually prefer the couple found out about this thread and read it! Then they might actually see what complete twats they are being and what people think of them and their list.

    Having said that tho I wouldn't be surprised if this thread even phased them in the slightest. Let alone get them to think twice about how greedy, self absorbed and entitled they are being...


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    #658
    MistyCheese
    Registered Users Posts: 4,005 ✭✭✭MistyCheese


    Poor Toots, I bet when you hear a poster say they want to be a mod you laugh your ass off!


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    #659
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,913 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    MistyCheese wrote: »
    Poor Toots, I bet when you hear a poster say they want to be a mod you laugh your ass off!

    Lol! Actually I do enjoy being a mod. Ok there's the inevitable run ins with dickheads of varying degrees, but for the most part the posters that I'd interact with are lovely! I think I'm lucky with the forums I mod though, they're both well behaved compared to what some of the other mods have to deal with!!


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    #660
    Lau2976
    Registered Users Posts: 1,030 ✭✭✭Lau2976


    Toots wrote: »
    Oh crap. Well it looks like this one may be on borrowed time.

    If the OP is happy for it to stay open, then I'm happy to leave it open for now. However, if Boards HQ gets an angry email about it, we'll have no choice but to shut it down.

    I'm happy to keep it open :)


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    #661
    Arbiter of Good Taste
    Registered Users Posts: 2,200 ✭✭✭Arbiter of Good Taste


    Frynge wrote: »

    I plan to put a fiver into each DVD case (about 50 of them) as their actual gift as a surprise. To make sure it works all I have to do is make sure I don't get drunk around him and tell him. Also everyone here keep stump.

    Please do not do this. There is so much that can go wrong. It is a very bad plan.


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