No longer attracted to my girlfriend

Tarzana2 · 22-12-2014 11:54AM

Blowfish wrote: »

In Ireland, death rates due to heart disease are about 10,000 per year.

Right... but you know all kinds of things can cause heart disease? Indeed, a slim person with a terrible diet can get it. Obesity is certainly one cause, but it's one of many.

Tarzana2 · 22-12-2014 11:56AM

Saipanne wrote: »

So, if someone makes the effort to not over eat, and maybe exercise now and again, is it too much to expect your oh to make some effort too?

Can you show me where I said otherwise? I said "what do YOU bring to the table" - obviously some people are going to be able to respond "I bring lots!" and mean it. These people are covered.

But I've certainly known "do as I say, not as I do" types who want a high physical standard whilst not displaying it themselves. Pointing this out isn't superficial, if anything it's shining on a light on their hypocritical standards.

Blowfish · 22-12-2014 12:09PM

Tarzana2 wrote: »

Right... but you know all kinds of things can cause heart disease? Indeed, a slim person with a terrible diet can get it. Obesity is certainly one cause, but it's one of many.

Indeed, but the number killed on the roads is less than 2% of those killed by heart disease. I'd be willing to put a pretty large bet that obesity is a factor in a hell of a lot more than 2% of those 10,000.

One eyed Jack · 22-12-2014 12:18PM

Tarzana2 wrote: »

Well, I don't know if that's superficial. It's just kinda saying "If you're demanding a certain standard of physical attractiveness, what do YOU bring to the table?"

I know, I know, I just started reading the thread (I read backwards and then I read forwards again, so I'm sure I'll come across the usual criticisms and judgment, etc), but for what it's worth -

I bring milkshakes to the table, the boys in the yard seem to like them

(you can probably tell I'm not taking this thread very seriously given the numerous times threads like this get posted in AH instead of PI).

Tarzana2 · 22-12-2014 12:27PM

Blowfish wrote: »

Indeed, but the number killed on the roads is less than 2% of those killed by heart disease. I'd be willing to put a pretty large bet that obesity is a factor in a hell of a lot more than 2% of those 10,000.

Aye. Do we even know the OP's GF is obese though? Like she could have been size 8 before and could be a 12 or 14 now. A significant gain but not an obese one. She could be just a bit overweight. And though AH won't like this at all, I saw a post in the nutrition forum a while ago featured a peer reviewed paper that suggests it better to be a wee bit overweight health-wise. http://healthland.time.com/2013/01/02/being-overweight-is-linked-to-lower-risk-of-mortality/ Mentions the journal in there.

Anyway, we're all just speculating on the poor girl here.

Best of luck, OP, hope it works out. I suspect ye'll be ggrrraaand.

DublinCJM · 22-12-2014 12:52PM

OP, I would suggest to her to walk 3 miles every morning, and then 3 more every afternoon, and by the end of a week the fat **** should be about 42 miles away

Corcaigh84 · 22-12-2014 01:01PM

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

You have to grow with a person in a relationship, people get fat and they lose weight again, it's an ongoing cycle for half of the country, male and female. The only thing you can be sure of with a person is that as the years pass they will not look the same. Expect experiences to change people,expect there'll be times when life is tough and your partner will take comfort in food,expect weight gain, expect gravity to take its toll, expect time to leave it's mark on the other persons face, expect to love them regardless and expect to be loved back as the same happens to you. That's the deal. It's not "stay a sexy tight bunny for my titilation".

I'm sorry but that's a classic fatty cop-out. Half the country don't look after themselves? Ah shur it's grand so! *om nom nom*

My parents have been married 30 years at this stage and still look as good as they ever have (obvious aging signs like going a bit grey notwithstanding)

mad turnip · 22-12-2014 01:07PM

bb1234567 · 22-12-2014 01:32PM

Wibbs wrote: »

Then if that's the case, deal with it and health up I say.

God forbid he has a preference for a slim(more likely healthy and more aesthetically pleasing ) partner. I'd be very surprised to hear that when you have fantasies about ideal men that those ideal men are fat. How does that work then? "Real men" have curves? Eh... no.

Just a bit of a diff, there W, male pattern baldness is genetic and there's feck all that can be done about it, if there was, baldy men would be doing what it took to change it, beyond wigs, dubious unctions and a shaved head. On the other hand fatness is much more a lifestyle choice. Stop eating crap and moving more and miracles of miracles you'll lose weight. Put it another way a fat man or woman can lose weight and do so with well described means, a bald bloke can't grow hair on a shiny pate no matter what he does.

Oh and lest this is construed as aimed at the ladies? Nope. Those men who blame "metabolism" and the passing years on the fact they have a beer gut? Nope lads, you're simply eating more crap and doing less. Indeed IMH men who get porky over the years have even less excuses going on. You don't have the hormonal stuff, the potential pregnancies etc. If you're packing lard, it's because you got lazy. End of.

EDIT if you're into the fuller figured woman(or man), game ball. That's not the issue. It's when there's a rapid change and you're supposed to accept that... Ging the other direction, I know a chap who had a preference for the fuller figured lady, who lost the gra for an ex when she lost shedloads of weight.

There are solutions for balding hair, rogaine works. If you start using it just when the balding is beginning then you wont lose your hair

Penny Tration · 22-12-2014 01:33PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Try making love with her rather than just having sex.

Having sex is more fun

bb1234567 · 22-12-2014 01:39PM

I'm honestly shocked by the attitudes of some people on here towards overweight women, and i say this as a 19 year old guy

secondrowgal · 22-12-2014 01:45PM

Saipanne wrote: »

Yep, I've had that happen a few times. Its actually really insulting, in a way. She makes the effort for complete strangers, but not the man she loves.

I simply don't understand.

That said, not all women are like this. But a significant proportion are.

Not according to this. It's the other way around actually - more obese men than women in Ireland for instance. I always find it interesting that men are much more vocal about their other (female) halves appearance, weight, etc., when they obviously don't own a mirror themselves.

Anyhow, definitely talk to her about it OP. There might be something else going on and maybe you can help.

I would also echo that if you are not interested in this girl anymore then do the honourable thing and get out now before it gets messy.

Blowfish · 22-12-2014 01:55PM

Tarzana2 wrote: »

Aye. Do we even know the OP's GF is obese though? Like she could have been size 8 before and could be a 12 or 14 now. A significant gain but not an obese one. She could be just a bit overweight.

That'd still be a huge cause for concern as if she's gone from an 8 to 12 or 14 in a year and yet doesn't change diet/exercise patterns, then in the next year she'll just keep going and hit medically obese levels.

Saipanne · 22-12-2014 02:06PM

secondrowgal wrote: »

Not according to this. It's the other way around actually - more obese men than women in Ireland for instance. I always find it interesting that men are much more vocal about their other (female) halves appearance, weight, etc., when they obviously don't own a mirror themselves.

Anyhow, definitely talk to her about it OP. There might be something else going on and maybe you can help.

I would also echo that if you are not interested in this girl anymore then do the honourable thing and get out now before it gets messy.

I was talking about my own experience, somehow you managed to miss that. Bizarre.

I keep myself in good shape. I do this, in part, to make the effort for my oh. If she isn't prepared to make an effort, then that's obviously means she feels I'm not worth it.

And don't play the depression/medical issue/pregnant card. I have discussed that AT LENGTH, on this thread.

_Whimsical_ · 22-12-2014 03:04PM

thefloss wrote: »

I'm sorry but that's a classic fatty cop-out. Half the country don't look after themselves? Ah shur it's grand so! *om nom nom*

How ignorant.
Thats not what I said, I said weight wouldn't be a reason to end another wise good relationship. Half the countries weight yoyo's from average to overweight over the course of their lifetimes. If you want proof look around you. If every decent marriage ended over a few pounds civilisation as we know and it's cornerstone ,the societal unit of the family would be doomed.

Saipanne wrote: »

I was talking about my own experience, somehow you managed to miss that. Bizarre.

I keep myself in good shape. I do this, in part, to make the effort for my oh. If she isn't prepared to make an effort, then that's obviously means she feels I'm not worth it.

And don't play the depression/medical issue/pregnant card. I have discussed that AT LENGTH, on this thread.

Again, I cringe for your last sentence there.
If your wife puts on weight it mostly likely will have nothing to do with her feelings for you or how badly she wants you in her life. If you take everything that personally you'll be in for some horribly hurt feelings and will cause a lot of destruction in what otherwise might be a happy relationship.

I'm of average weight myself and I've never been overweight exactly, I'd hate to think I'd end up the likes of any of you though. I've a feeling your odious opinions won't see any lady foolish enough to stick with ye for too long though, and thank God for that.

Saipanne · 22-12-2014 03:07PM

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

How ignorant.
Thats not what I said, I said weight wouldn't be a reason to end another wise good relationship. Half the countries weight yoyo's from average to overweight over the course of their lifetimes. If you want proof look around you. If every decent marriage ended over a few pounds civilisation as we know and it's cornerstone ,the societal unit of the family would be doomed.

Again, I cringe for your last sentence there.
If your wife puts on weight it mostly likely will have nothing to do with her feelings for you or how badly she wants you in her life. If you take everything that personally you'll be in for some horribly hurt feelings and will cause a lot of destruction in what otherwise might be a happy relationship.

I'm of average weight myself and I've never been overweight exactly, I'd hate to think I'd end up the likes of any of you though. I've a feeling your odious opinions won't see any lady foolish enough to stick with ye for too long though, and thank God for that.

How is the view up there?

_Whimsical_ · 22-12-2014 03:10PM

Saipanne wrote: »

How is the view up there?

I'm nowhere near as high up as you Mr "don't play the depression,ill or pregnant card".
Seriously, get a grip.God help Mrs Saipanne.

Saipanne · 22-12-2014 03:13PM

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

I'm nowhere near as high up as you Mr "don't play the depression or pregnant card".
Seriously, get a grip.God help Mrs Saipanne.

God help the oh's of people who eat themselves into a shapeless blob.

_Whimsical_ · 22-12-2014 03:15PM

Saipanne wrote: »

God help the oh's of people who eat themselves into a shapeless blob.

Gimme a shapeless blob over a sanctamonious, compassionless,empathy lacking shell any day of the week.

eternal · 22-12-2014 03:51PM

Milk_Tray wrote: »

I say your moths as Rough as a bears arse

I'm female and a part time model so your point is moot.

osarusan · 22-12-2014 03:53PM

eternal wrote: »

I'm female and a part time model so your point is moot.

Do you have a moth though?

secondrowgal · 22-12-2014 03:56PM

Saipanne wrote: »

I was talking about my own experience, somehow you managed to miss that. Bizarre.

I keep myself in good shape. I do this, in part, to make the effort for my oh. If she isn't prepared to make an effort, then that's obviously means she feels I'm not worth it.

And don't play the depression/medical issue/pregnant card. I have discussed that AT LENGTH, on this thread.

I didn't manage to miss anything, I just quoted your post because you were commenting on women letting themselves go (paraphrasing) in a "significant proportion", you said, so I was refuting your post. Interesting that you missed that, or even bizarre, one might say

If your other half isn't prepared to make an effort it absolutely doesn't mean that she feels that you are not worth it! That's your stuff, not hers, but it's interesting that you would think that way.

I wasn't playing any depression/medical issue/pregnant card??

I simply said that there may well be another reason, and one of them may be that she doesn't think he's "worth it", like you might think. We simply don't know. But that's what discussions are all about really.

OldNotWIse · 22-12-2014 04:02PM

Saipanne wrote: »

God help the oh's of people who eat themselves into a shapeless blob.

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

Gimme a shapeless blob over a sanctamonious, compassionless,empathy lacking shell any day of the week.

:D

eternal · 22-12-2014 04:02PM

People put on weight for various reasons. Instead of judging and bitching ask them about it. Maybe get some tests done. I mean if she's hogging chips every night tell her to stop, otherwise she might be unwell or in a rut. I find this whole thing to be very shallow and selfish of the poster and if he loved her a bit of weight wouldn't be that big of a deal.

Saipanne · 22-12-2014 04:05PM

My screen is getting fierce greasy.

OldNotWIse · 22-12-2014 04:07PM

Saipanne wrote: »

My screen is getting fierce greasy.

Is she frying sausages again?

Saipanne · 22-12-2014 04:10PM

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Is she frying sausages again?

Who?

DoYouEvenLift · 22-12-2014 04:24PM

bb1234567 wrote: »

There are solutions for balding hair, rogaine works. If you start using it just when the balding is beginning then you wont lose your hair

Lol, if you believe that then why do you think there are so many bald men around?

Saipanne · 22-12-2014 04:30PM

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Lol, if you believe that then why do you think there are so many bald men around?

Ive heard its more effective on thinning hair, as opposed to proper baldness.

Thank **** that doesn't run in my family...

DoYouEvenLift · 22-12-2014 04:35PM

Saipanne wrote: »

Ive heard its more effective on thinning hair, as opposed to proper baldness.

Thank **** that doesn't run in my family...

Rogaine only helps the back and top of the head from thinning. There's special shampoo for the front and then medication, in pill form, that helps slow down balding or receding but lots of people report crazy side effects from it.

No longer attracted to my girlfriend

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