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Trivial things that annoy you Part 43

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Comments

  • #7922
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    Fat Christy wrote: »
    Who is 'she' and can I have her number? :pac:
    My future mother in law. She probably thinks what the hell is her son with such a lazy bitch for. But I did offer to help. Mm.


  • #7923
    Boom_Bap
    Moderators, Music Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,740 Mod ✭✭✭✭Boom_Bap


    LexieOnRale wrote: »
    Getting babied. It's been so long since I've actually had parents to fuss over me, and I used to enjoy being waited on hand and foot but my god it's head wrecking.

    Last night before I went to sleep, I had a glass of water brought into me and left next to my bed. This morning I got breakfast in bed, and when I got up to help with the cleaning, she insisted I 'rest' while she was busy around me and then she made me lunch, while I watched cartoons.

    Awkward!

    You wouldn't send her over to my house for a few days. Can she also grout tiles? (not a euphemism)


  • #7924
    Smidge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    Fat Christy wrote: »
    One of my friends used to live with a really clotty cnut, never washed the dishes. She got sick of and put all the dirty dishes in his cupboards.

    He started washing up then.

    :D


  • #7925
    Fat Christy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,866 ✭✭✭Fat Christy


    Smidge wrote: »
    :D

    You're from the country aren't ya? :pac:


  • #7926
    jimgoose
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,209 ✭✭✭✭jimgoose


    eisenberg1 wrote: »
    And Hoohahs, dont forget the hoohahs:D

    Every technological leap ever developed by humanity has had a hoohah link. The wheel and its derivatives have been used for thousands of years by the hoohah-less to attempt to persuade proprietors of hoohahs to grant access to same, NASA and rocket-science in general was only ever really about hoohahs - you think it's a coincidence rockets are that shape?? - the Internet has largely become a Byzantine device for providing photographs (moving or otherwise) of hoohahs on-demand, and now technology allows us to replicate the hoohah in the comfort of our own (slightly sticky) homes. What an age we live in! :D


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  • #7927
    Maximus Alexander
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,080 ✭✭✭✭Maximus Alexander


    jimgoose wrote: »
    Every technological leap ever developed by humanity has had a hoohah link. The wheel and its derivatives have been used for thousands of years by the hoohah-less to attempt to persuade proprietors of hoohahs to grant access to same, NASA and rocket-science in general was only ever really about hoohahs - you think it's a coincidence rockets are that shape?? - the Internet has largely become a Byzantine device for providing photographs (moving or otherwise) of hoohahs on-demand, and now technology allows us to replicate the hoohah in the comfort of our own (slightly sticky) homes. What an age we live in! :D

    Hoohahs are vaginas, right?


  • #7928
    Fat Christy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,866 ✭✭✭Fat Christy


    Maximus Alexander wrote: »
    Hoohahs are vaginas, right?

    :eek:

    The vulgarity! :mad:


  • #7929
    Zanablue
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,673 ✭✭✭Zanablue


    jimgoose wrote: »
    Every technological leap ever developed by humanity has had a hoohah link. The wheel and its derivatives have been used for thousands of years by the hoohah-less to attempt to persuade proprietors of hoohahs to grant access to same, NASA and rocket-science in general was only ever really about hoohahs - you think it's a coincidence rockets are that shape?? - the Internet has largely become a Byzantine device for providing photographs (moving or otherwise) of hoohahs on-demand, and now technology allows us to replicate the hoohah in the comfort of our own (slightly sticky) homes. What an age we live in! :D

    The age of the Hoohah, Thats gas!


  • #7930
    jimgoose
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,209 ✭✭✭✭jimgoose


    Maximus Alexander wrote: »
    Hoohahs are vaginas, right?

    We do not use that word around here. The preferred terms are Hoohah, Kebab and Pork Portcullis, in that order.


  • #7931
    eisenberg1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,387 ✭✭✭eisenberg1


    Jim, you could declare today "hoohah Day" only I have just read
    today has already been declared World Vasectomy Day....AKA "Ooh Aah Day"


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  • #7932
    jimgoose
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,209 ✭✭✭✭jimgoose


    eisenberg1 wrote: »
    Jim, you could declare today "hoohah Day" only I have just read
    today has already been declared World Vasectomy Day....AKA "Ooh Aah Day"

    Well, I suppose if you've had a vasectomy you can have as much hoohah as be playsin' you, without any "Oops, aaahhh..." :pac:


  • #7933
    eisenberg1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,387 ✭✭✭eisenberg1


    jimgoose wrote: »
    Well, I suppose if you've had a vasectomy you can have as much hoohah as be playsin' you, without any "Oops, aaahhh..." :pac:

    Highly recommended;)


  • #7934
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    eisenberg1 wrote: »
    Highly recommended;)

    That made me squirm and I don't even have one! :eek:


  • #7935
    eisenberg1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,387 ✭✭✭eisenberg1


    LexieOnRale wrote: »
    That made me squirm and I don't even have one! :eek:

    Thats the idea:D

    Sorry, could not resist.


  • #7936
    OldNotWIse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    Zanablue wrote: »
    God I wish someone would run around after me! Enjoy it while you can.

    Can I get you anything? :pac:


  • #7937
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    OldNotWIse wrote: »
    Can I get you anything? :pac:

    You can cut my toenails if you want to be helpful! Even though you didn't ask I think I'll just throw that out there


  • #7938
    Zanablue
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,673 ✭✭✭Zanablue


    OldNotWIse wrote: »
    Can I get you anything? :pac:

    Yea, Look after my kids for a few hours, only messing!


  • #7939
    Aglomerado
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,793 ✭✭✭Aglomerado


    jimgoose wrote: »
    We do not use that word around here. The preferred terms are Hoohah, Kebab and Pork Portcullis, in that order.
    What about Beef Curtains?


  • #7940
    Maximus Alexander
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,080 ✭✭✭✭Maximus Alexander


    jimgoose wrote: »
    We do not use that word around here. The preferred terms are Hoohah, Kebab and Pork Portcullis, in that order.
    Aglomerado wrote: »
    What about Beef Curtains?

    All this vagina talk is making me hungry.


  • #7941
    Aglomerado
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,793 ✭✭✭Aglomerado


    Maximus Alexander wrote: »
    All this vagina talk is making me hungry.

    I've thought of another, so sorry in advance:

    Gammon Flaps

    :pac:


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  • #7942
    eisenberg1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,387 ✭✭✭eisenberg1


    This is all very fine until someone loses and eye!!

    It will end in tears.


  • #7943
    MsBubbles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,241 ✭✭✭MsBubbles


    All this talk of gammon flaps and beef curtains makes me glad I'm vegetarian


  • #7944
    Aglomerado
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,793 ✭✭✭Aglomerado


    MsBubbles wrote: »
    All this talk of gammon flaps and beef curtains makes me glad I'm vegetarian

    As opposed to a vag-itarian...

    ...I will get my coat. :P


  • #7945
    eisenberg1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,387 ✭✭✭eisenberg1


    How come the female bits get all the nice names?


  • #7946
    Aglomerado
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,793 ✭✭✭Aglomerado


    eisenberg1 wrote: »
    How come the female bits get all the nice names?

    Ah the male bits get lovely names too! Just a few I learned from Viz many years ago:

    Pork Sword
    Mutton Dagger
    Beef Bayonet
    Blue Veined Custard Chucker
    Love Sausage
    Porridge Gun


  • #7947
    OldNotWIse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    Aglomerado wrote: »
    Ah the male bits get lovely names too! Just a few I learned from Viz many years ago:

    Pork Sword
    Mutton Dagger
    Beef Bayonet
    Blue Veined Custard Chucker
    Love Sausage
    Porridge Gun

    :confused:


  • #7948
    Aglomerado
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,793 ✭✭✭Aglomerado


    OldNotWIse wrote: »
    :confused:

    I know. The imagery is foul, but make me laugh all the same!

    Trivial thing that's annoying me today: I've my work done but can't leave till four. Boo-urns.


  • #7949
    Maximus Alexander
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,080 ✭✭✭✭Maximus Alexander


    Aglomerado wrote: »
    Ah the male bits get lovely names too! Just a few I learned from Viz many years ago:

    Pork Sword
    Mutton Dagger
    Beef Bayonet
    Blue Veined Custard Chucker
    Love Sausage
    Porridge Gun

    All this penis talk is making me hungry.


  • #7950
    Aglomerado
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,793 ✭✭✭Aglomerado


    Tallywhacker
    BellEnd
    Todger
    Meat and two veg


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  • #7951
    eisenberg1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,387 ✭✭✭eisenberg1


    Aglomerado wrote: »
    Ah the male bits get lovely names too! Just a few I learned from Viz many years ago:

    Pork Sword
    Mutton Dagger
    Beef Bayonet
    Blue Veined Custard Chucker
    Love Sausage
    Porridge Gun

    Porridge gun?? a new one for me.

    You forgot Cyclops


This discussion has been closed.
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