How much € should parents take off grown-up children towards their keep per week

jimgoose · 06-08-2014 04:15PM

kylith wrote: »

Yeah, but at the moment it appears that Sonic is unemployed and possibly doesn't have a lot of savings and in that case is unlikely to get a mortgage so as Sonic wants to move out and gain independence the options are to stay living with his/her mum until such time as s/he can afford a mortgage (which could be several years), or rent and 'pay someone else's mortgage'.

To be sure. I'm merely suggesting that there might be some sort of happy medium, where s/he can share the space with Mum and yet be more-or-less independent.

Maximus Alexander · 06-08-2014 04:19PM

There is no one size fits all answer to this question. It is going to come down to whether you want them to carry on living at home for a while, or leave. Whether you are financially comfortable, or struggling. Whether they are earning enough to contribute, or not. How much it costs you to have them living there and so forth.

You need to assess your situation, their situation, what you are hoping to achieve, and then grab a calculator and work out an appropriate figure.

06-08-2014 05:02PM

Tilly wrote: »

I'm shocked by this. Someone needs to start wearing his big boy pants!

Whats shocking about it, I bring my clothes home to my home house to wash them and shock horror I don't always do the washing myself either as it just goes in with the rest of the washing at home!! Your second comment is nothing but drivel.

jimgoose wrote: »

I suggest you invest a couple of more sets of clothes and familiarise yourself with the ancient art of the washing-line. :pac::pac::pac:

I have plenty of sets of clothes hence how I rarely have to do washing between trips home

. I hate having clothes on a clothes horse for days, and I'm very particular about having clothes very dry so always want them to spend time on a radiator and/or have gone through a dryer. We have a dryer at home and the heat is used even during the summer for heating water (we dont use it at all during the summer in my rented place) so its much easier and far faster to bring them home and also as I said I'm often home at weekends so why wouldn't I bring them.

I really don't get why people feel they need to move their whole life out of home with themselves. Even though I'm not living at home a lot of my life is still based there, most of my stuff is there, 90% of my post still goes there and I use my home address for almost everything etc.

darkpagandeath · 06-08-2014 05:09PM

Kash Noisy Room wrote: »

Whats shocking about it, I bring my clothes home to my home house to wash them? Your second comment is nothing but drivel.

I have plenty of sets of clothes hence how I rarely have to do washing between trips home . I hate having clothes on a clothes horse for days, and I'm very particular about having clothes very dry so always want them to spend time on a radiator and/or have gone through a dryer. We have a dryer at home and the heat is used even during the summer for heating water (we dont use it at all during the summer in my rented place) so its much easier and far faster to bring them home and also as I said I'm often home at weekends so why wouldn't I bring them.

I really dont get why people feel they need to move their whole life out of home with themselves. Even though I'm not living at home a lot of my life is still based there, most of my stuff is there, 90% of my post etc etc.

So that's not just using the services, That's treating the parents house like a warehouse ? If people cant see anything wrong with this I cant help anymore have things changed that much since I was younger. This all seems designed to have the minimum of outgoings and keep as much money from wages to have as disposable. I’m the only one that thinks that's a little “Taking the p*ss” ?

06-08-2014 05:15PM

darkpagandeath wrote: »

So that's not just using the services, That's treating the parents house like a warehouse ? If people cant see anything wrong with this I cant help anymore have things changed that much since I was younger. This all seems designed to have the minimum of outgoings and keep as much money from wages to have as disposable. I’m the only one that thinks that's a little “Taking the p*ss” ?

I really dont know what you are on. This is not some strangers house I'm talking about its my own home, that I still 100% consider home. I have my own bedroom where I keep my stuff along with loads of space in garages and sheds. Both my sisters are not living at home and both have their own bedrooms also where they keep most of their stuff. This is perfectly normal procedure. Why wouldn't I keep stuff at home, especially as its there I will most likely need most of it?

You sound absolutely ridiculous to be honest, I cant fathom what sort of strange relationship you have with family judging by your posts.

dark crystal · 06-08-2014 05:17PM

Kash Noisy Room wrote: »

I really dont know what you are on. This is not some strangers house I'm talking about its my own home, that I still 100% consider home. I have my own bedroom where I keep my stuff along with loads of space in garages and sheds.

You sound absolutely ridiculous to be honest, I cant fathom what sort of strange relationship you have with family judging by your posts.

Did you pay for it?

yournerd · 06-08-2014 05:21PM

my bro is 23years old and pays the UPC bill every month.
I'm 19 and pay the electricity bill every 2 months

I'd rather move out..

Naked Lepper · 06-08-2014 05:22PM

depends on the circumstances of the household. there is no set amount that works for everyone.

Maximus Alexander · 06-08-2014 05:24PM

yournerd wrote: »

my bro is 23years old and pays the UPC bill every month.
I'm 19 and pay the electricity bill every 2 months

I'd rather move out..

Wait until you're paying a rent, an electricity bill, a gas bill, a UPC bill, a TV license and buying all of your own food, cleaning products etc. :pac:

Electric Sheep · 06-08-2014 05:25PM

dark crystal wrote: »

Did you pay for it?

Neither the home nor anything else, it seems.

It is a really bizarre sense of entitlement to believe that your parents home belongs to you.

This thing of calling your parents' house "home" even when you don't live their, or describing living in your parents house as "living at home" is a peculiarly Irish thing, I've never heard it said by non-Irish.

dark crystal · 06-08-2014 05:26PM

darkpagandeath wrote: »

So that's not just using the services, That's treating the parents house like a warehouse ? If people cant see anything wrong with this I cant help anymore have things changed that much since I was younger. This all seems designed to have the minimum of outgoings and keep as much money from wages to have as disposable. I’m the only one that thinks that's a little “Taking the p*ss” ?

It is taking the piss, but in fairness, if the parents allow and encourage it, the apron strings will never really come off.

darkpagandeath · 06-08-2014 05:28PM

Kash Noisy Room wrote: »

I really dont know what you are on. This is not some strangers house I'm talking about its my own home, that I still 100% consider home. I have my own bedroom where I keep my stuff along with loads of space in garages and sheds. Both my sisters are not living at home and both have their own bedrooms also where they keep most of their stuff. This is perfectly normal procedure. Why wouldn't I keep stuff at home, especially as its there I will most likely need most of it?

You sound absolutely ridiculous to be honest, I cant fathom what sort of strange relationship you have with family judging by your posts.

One were I don't consider my Elderly parents house my home. Seems odd that the 2 other siblings have long since left and got on with living an adult life. This must be saving a huge amount of money the setup you have described. I just find it very odd that you genuinely don't see anything wrong in these actions. Maybe we are from separate backgrounds. No one in my somewhat large family would ever consider the Parents house theirs now We are all grown up and have lives and family of our own. Our parents took care of us now we take care of them.

And please don’t take it as I'm having pop at you personally.

HazDanz · 06-08-2014 05:29PM

Depends on your parents tbh.

My parents refused any money from me when I was home for a short while a few years back. If I did try to give money they would find ways to give it back indirectly.

In fact they found it quite insulting that I was trying to give money. My parents view my presence at home as great as they have their son around.

Mothers and fathers love being mothers and fathers no matter what age you are - looking after you when 'home' is a large aspect to their role which they greatly enjoy. Generalising there but from my experience this has been the case with my friends and myself.

dark crystal · 06-08-2014 05:46PM

HazDanz wrote: »

Depends on your parents tbh.

My parents refused any money from me when I was home for a short while a few years back. If I did try to give money they would find ways to give it back indirectly.

In fact they found it quite insulting that I was trying to give money. My parents view my presence at home as great as they have their son around.

Mothers and fathers love being mothers and fathers no matter what age you are - looking after you when 'home' is a large aspect to their role which they greatly enjoy. Generalising there but from my experience this has been the case with my friends and myself.

That is indeed quite a generalisation. I'm sure there are parents who view that role as the be all and end all of their life and have nightmares over the very thought of their precious darlings leaving the nest, but trust me, there are also plenty of parents who look forward to being able to do the things they were restricted from doing whilst their children were young and finally having some time to themselves at last.

Not every parent relishes the thought of cooking, cleaning, washing and shopping for their kids long after they've reached the age when they should be taking it a bit easier and looking after themselves first. I think it's supremely selfish of anyone to expect them to do it too.

However, a child is only the product of how they were raised. If a parent mollycoddles their kids and is dismayed at the thought of them forging their own lives away from the nest instead of preparing them for it, that's what will be instilled in them going into adulthood. A parent should always love and be there for their children, but parent-child relationships should adapt as the child grows older. If you don't adapt, nothing ever evolves or changes.

Frank Lee Midere · 06-08-2014 05:52PM

HazDanz wrote: »

Depends on your parents tbh.

My parents refused any money from me when I was home for a short while a few years back. If I did try to give money they would find ways to give it back indirectly.

In fact they found it quite insulting that I was trying to give money. My parents view my presence at home as great as they have their son around.

Mothers and fathers love being mothers and fathers no matter what age you are - looking after you when 'home' is a large aspect to their role which they greatly enjoy. Generalising there but from my experience this has been the case with my friends and myself.

In many cases this does describe the feelings. Nevertheless the "child" should pay.

yournerd · 06-08-2014 06:32PM

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

Wait until you're paying a rent, an electricity bill, a gas bill, a UPC bill, a TV license and buying all of your own food, cleaning products etc. :pac:

the thoughts of it daunt me.
I think it's not fair though cause I'm working only 20 hours a week and help with the family business alot!

takamichinoku · 06-08-2014 06:34PM

I keep reading this as "How much C should parents..." and assume it's going to be somehow about programming in schools or summat

salmocab · 06-08-2014 06:50PM

I paid my mum 15 euro a week when I started working when I was 17 taking home 70 as an apprentice by the time I moved out I was giving her 120 that was aged about 25 (the joys of being a Dub). I was delighted to pay 120 for all I was getting and even at the time knew it was a sweet deal, washing, cleaning, dinner probably 4 times a week. To be fair my parents had no mortgage and they were both still working so money was good in the house, not minted but they were comfortable. My mum never had to ask for a rise anytime my money went up so did hers. In fact now that I see it all written down I might see if I can go back to her, is 37 too old for living with mum?

06-08-2014 07:53PM

dark crystal wrote: »

Did you pay for it?

Obviously not, its still my parents, mine and my sisters home though and that's how we all view it. The family home.

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Neither the home nor anything else, it seems.

So because I consider the place I grew up home I haven't paid for anything in my life.

Electric Sheep wrote: »

This thing of calling your parents' house "home" even when you don't live their, or describing living in your parents house as "living at home" is a peculiarly Irish thing, I've never heard it said by non-Irish.

I don't see the problem, as it the house you grew up in it home to most people. We also have a farm which I very much am and will be a part of for the rest of my life.

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Seems odd that the 2 other siblings have long since left and got on with living an adult life.

If this is in reference to my siblings not living at home then you have taken it up wrong. I said they also treat home as home and base most of their lives there despite one not even living in the country (though that is changing soon). In fact they are probably home more than I am especially as one is a teacher and moves home for the summer.

darkpagandeath wrote: »

This must be saving a huge amount of money the setup you have described. I just find it very odd that you genuinely don't see anything wrong in these actions.

How am I saving huge amounts of money and what actions? The majority of people I know of my age (late 20's) have their room at home in their home house and still stay there regularly (with plenty still living at home or having houses built next door), with most of their stuff still being there. Maybe this is a country vs city thing I don't know but I'm really finding it difficult to comprehend your way of thinking its almost like once you are an adult you are no longer part of your parents life and turn into a random person on the street invading their house.

Tilly · 06-08-2014 08:03PM

Kash Noisy Room wrote: »

Obviously not, its still my parents, mine and my sisters home though and that's how we all view it. The family home.

So because I consider the place I grew up home I haven't paid for anything in my life.

I don't see the problem, as it the house you grew up in it home to most people. We also have a farm which I very much am and will be a part of for the rest of my life.

If this is in reference to my siblings not living at home then you have taken it up wrong. I said they also treat home as home and base most of their lives there despite one not even living in the country (though that is changing soon). In fact they are probably home more than I am especially as one is a teacher and moves home for the summer.

How am I saving huge amounts of money and what actions? The majority of people I know of my age (late 20's) have their room at home in their home house and still stay there regularly (with plenty still living at home or having houses built next door), with most of their stuff still being there. Maybe this is a country vs city thing I don't know but I'm really finding it difficult to comprehend your way of thinking its almost like once you are an adult you are no longer part of your parents life and turn into a random person on the street invading their house.

You're late 20's? You bring your washing home for your mother to do and you're in your late 20's? You're a lazy manchild. It's time you started looking after your parents and cut your mothers apron strings.

Shakespeare's Sister · 06-08-2014 08:25PM

Is it Nox or his mother who does his washing though? I wouldn't see an issue with bringing the laundry home because of better washing/drying facilities, so long as the "child" also actually does the washing!

In reference to a few posts further back, I still don't see a need for working adults living in their parents' house handing over anything more than their share of the bills (rent if the parents need it towards the mortgage/rent). Parents taking more than that are fleecing their children, parents keeping it for savings for them are treating them like young kids - like when you were small and your folks would mind your money-box/piggy-bank for you every time a relative would give you a few quid.

Such lengths are not required to train a person to become good at budgeting. I can think of people who were working from 16, handing their folks a few quid, and had moved out by their late teens/early 20s... yet are still absolutely crap with money.

Tilly · 06-08-2014 08:33PM

Kash Noisy Room wrote: »

Whats shocking about it, I bring my clothes home to my home house to wash them and shock horror I don't always do the washing myself either as it just goes in with the rest of the washing at home!!
.

It would appear he puts them in the washing basket and the washing fairy does them.

Shakespeare's Sister · 06-08-2014 08:35PM

Tilly wrote: »

It would appear he puts them in the washing basket and the washing fairy does them.

Ah sorry, missed that.

06-08-2014 09:45PM

Tilly wrote: »

You're late 20's? You bring your washing home for your mother to do and you're in your late 20's? You're a lazy manchild. It's time you started looking after your parents and cut your mothers apron strings.

I do a lot for my parents and a lot of work at home on the farm so comments like lazy man child are way of the mark and insulting. Sooner or later I will be living back around home or close to it, this moment in time when I'm a few hours drive away and only visiting at weekends and holidays is the most cut off I'll be.

Magaggie wrote: »

Is it Nox or his mother who does his washing though? I wouldn't see an issue with bringing the laundry home because of better washing/drying facilities, so long as the "child" also actually does the washing!

Tilly wrote: »

It would appear he puts them in the washing basket and the washing fairy does them.

It varies, sometimes I do it sometimes it's done for me if I'm busy on the farm or have other stuff on.

Sh1tbag OToole · 06-08-2014 10:00PM

I thought kids paying parents rent was only something they done in Canada and USA

764dak · 07-08-2014 03:57AM

This is a question for the people who say that children should pay money. If the parents move in to their children's home, should they charge their parents rent? Should the Obamas charge Michelle's mom rent?

Jamsiek · 07-08-2014 04:25AM

Kash Noisy Room wrote: »

I never feel fully relaxed in a house share as you never know when you will have the sitting room to yourself to watch something or when the kitchen is free etc or when a housemate will have people over.

It looks like your house mates aren't your friends.
In my case, my flatmates were among my best friends.

Kash Noisy Room wrote: »

At home it's much easier to argue over the tv channel or use the kitchen while others are etc.

Not if you're living with friends

Recondite49 · 07-08-2014 01:24PM

Jamsiek wrote: »

It looks like your house mates aren't your friends.
In my case, my flatmates were among my best friends.

Not if you're living with friends

I wish it was that simple Jamsiek.

In my case when I first moved to Ireland I lived with three lovely people I met at the hostel - two boys and a girl.

One of them it seems fell in love with a local Irish girl, 18 years old and very hormonal, she was nice enough but at times she had terrible tantrums.

The girl with whom I'd originally lived then asked her boyfriend back home in Brazil to come and live with us. He and I got on well enough but he didn't speak much English and he also began trying to take control of the house, drafting up cleaning rotas, organising meal plans, a task that had previously been done by his girlfriend and myself.

I let this slide and tensions gradually mounted between these two couples, to the point where my Brazilian friend decided she and her boyfriend would be moving out.

I moved into their room and despite my better judgement another teenage Irish girl moved in who wanted us to be "the party house" and would often come back in the wee hours from partying like it's 1985.

In time one of the other original tenants returned home after being unable to find work and another lad moved in who was in the habit of inviting his unemployed friends over and sitting around smoking weed and playing drums.

I've no objection per se but he and his friends were also not of the washing persuasion.

After one incident where he and 8 other friends set up camp in our living room for three days straight the others had had enough, and it was left to me to give him his marching orders.

After this his mother called me at least once a day for three weeks straight. It appears her darling boy couldn't go and stay in the hostel as he might fall in with a "bad crowd" (ha!) and she couldn't live with herself.

I asked her if he came back if she'd be strong enough to chuck him out if he didn't obey house rules (she told me he apparently had a bad temper), and she said no.

The end result was that our unemployed drifter went back home to Mammy and as far as I know he's parasitically sponging off her every day - as I understand it he's on a fairly minimal jobseekers' allowance.

That was the point at which I wrote to my own father and said I wanted to thank him for retiring and leaving the UK so my brother and I could stand on our own two feet - he said he was very touched and although his decision to leave the country had been primarily for selfish reasons, he was pleased we'd learned to be independent.

In the meantime our poor Irish boy has been protected once again from the consequences of his own actions by his Mammy and is no doubt mindlessly banging his bongos with a glazed expression in his eyes as we speak...

Recondite49 · 07-08-2014 01:26PM

764dak wrote: »

This is a question for the people who say that children should pay money. If the parents move in to their children's home, should they charge their parents rent? Should the Obamas charge Michelle's mom rent?

Yes, if the parents move in with the children they should pay rent, however in that case I wouldn't save up a portion of it as it's likely your parents will be more financially savvy than a young Jobseeker.

Since the Obamas live at the taxpayers' expense, your point is fairly moot.

numnumcake · 07-08-2014 01:47PM

I can understand why parents would feel the need to charge their children rent. Most parents would actually need this money to run the house but apart from that its allows the child to learn how much it actually costs to live in the real world and how to budget better.

Saying that the child shouldn't be charged so much that they can't save anything as it is important to do this as well so that could hopefully get a place of their own and a car etc.

How much € should parents take off grown-up children towards their keep per week

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