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Womens attitudes to previous sexual encounters see mod note post #1

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Comments

  • #242
    Larry Wildman
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,460 ✭✭✭Larry Wildman


    green_screen wrote: »
    This.

    My boyfriend has slept with over 10 times my number, but I don't care. He's with me because he loves me. Why would you judge somebody for sex when they don't judge you?

    People are being way too sanctimonious and PC within this thread.

    The OP's ex is a disgrace...a promiscuous slut and a deviant. It is absolutely not okay to sleep with 500 people and to claim otherwise is revisionist pseudo liberal claptrap.


  • #243
    PucaMama
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,129 ✭✭✭PucaMama


    Buzz Killington the third wrote: »
    The same way a woman won't marry a man who they believe would be a really bad father.
    women wanting to marry and have children is a negative thing according to a lot of the men online. its never a natural or positive thing. only seen as 'trapping' men and holding them back. why then are the mens instincts ok but not womens? and why do people think that men are the only ones driven to sex?


  • #244
    cletus van damme
    Closed Accounts Posts: 960 ✭✭✭cletus van damme


    whupdedo wrote: »

    Men will take what they're given from a woman on a night out, if that's full sex or any form of sex that involves him blowing his baby sauce, then don't expect a phone call the following day,

    s

    this is bull.
    most men with a brain don't care ride or no ride they'll ring if interested.
    most men aren't fools - when they meet somebody they click with they chase. if they do they are in the minority and are fools.


  • #245
    PucaMama
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,129 ✭✭✭PucaMama


    Larry Wildman wrote: »
    People are being way too sanctimonious and PC within this thread.

    The OP's ex is a disgrace...a promiscuous slut and a deviant. It is absolutely not okay to sleep with 500 people and to claim otherwise is revisionist pseudo liberal claptrap.

    and you are a dick.....keep your nose out of other peoples sex lives. not getting any yourself no?


  • #246
    Larry Wildman
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,460 ✭✭✭Larry Wildman


    PucaMama wrote: »
    and you are a dick.....keep your nose out of other peoples sex lives. not getting any yourself no?

    You think that having 500 different sexual partners is okay?

    Interesting.

    I'm as open minded as the next person, but that is not okay by any stretch of the imagination.


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  • #247
    Buzz Killington the third
    Closed Accounts Posts: 937 ✭✭✭Buzz Killington the third


    PucaMama wrote: »
    women wanting to marry and have children is a negative thing according to a lot of the men online. its never a natural or positive thing. only seen as 'trapping' men and holding them back. why then are the mens instincts ok but not womens? and why do people think that men are the only ones driven to sex?

    That is utter non sense


  • #248
    drumswan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,592 ✭✭✭drumswan


    Larry Wildman wrote: »
    You think that having 500 different sexual partners is okay?

    Interesting.

    I'm as open minded as the next person, but that is not okay by any stretch of the imagination.

    Does it bother you what general strangers do in their sex lives? Why?

    It only becomes an issue if you were to consider a relationship with the person.


  • #249
    irishguy1983
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,389 ✭✭✭irishguy1983


    h.bolla wrote: »
    Myself and my GF broke up a few months back and it happened after a discussion about another girl with a similar story to the Magaluf girl.

    I said something like 'no self respecting man will date the girl after this' and my GF defended her saying that shes young and drunk and what you do expect at that age.

    I replied by saying "you were young and did you ever do anything like that?". Then her face changed I knew something was up.

    After a lot of rowing she admitted she had a 6-some one night (her and 5 other men) along with a dozen or 3-somes over the years and has lost count on the amount of drunken one night stands shes had with randomers. Oh and for most of her teens right up to her mid 20's she has always had 1 or 2 friends with benefits at any given time most of them lasting for 3-4 months. She guessed all in all that she'd had around 500 partners give or take.

    Its not exactly the kinda image that sprang to mind when we first got together and told me she only ever had 2 boyfriends and I'd be her third.

    But alas, apparantly its none of my business what went on in her past, and if Im annoyed about her past then obviously I dont deserve her.

    I thought I just had the worst luck and was dating a right bitch and put it behind me and moved on. But then I was reading a few threads on here (in the personal issues section) and I noticed that quite a lot of women posters have the same attitude.

    This attitude really blows my mind. How do you gentlmen feel about the whole thing?

    500????!!!! Are you actually serious??! Jesus I'd say you'd find hookers with less partners than that.


  • #250
    PucaMama
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,129 ✭✭✭PucaMama


    Larry Wildman wrote: »
    You think that having 500 different sexual partners is okay?

    Interesting.

    I'm as open minded as the next person, but that is not okay by any stretch of the imagination.
    thing is we dont get to decide whats ok for another person to do unless its illegal, so even tho ive never been with near as many as 500, if someone else was thats none of my business and i wouldnt be bothered.


  • #251
    Da Shins Kelly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,047 ✭✭✭Da Shins Kelly


    First off, I'd have my doubts about the truth in that number.

    Secondly, as far as I can see, conversations about sexual history almost always end in strife. It's a goddamn can of worms is what it is. If you're cool with knowing, fine, but honestly I think most people are irked by the thought of their boy/girlfriend with other people and can't handle what they hear in these discussions. If thinking and talking about someone's past makes you feel insecure, you shouldn't be asking those questions in the first place, much less demanding to know.


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  • #252
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    Larry Wildman wrote: »
    People are being way too sanctimonious and PC within this thread.

    The OP's ex is a disgrace...a promiscuous slut and a deviant. It is absolutely not okay to sleep with 500 people and to claim otherwise is revisionist pseudo liberal claptrap.

    I'm not being deliberately sanctimonious. I'm saying how I feel.

    I'm far from promiscuous myself, my number is 5 in the 8 years since I lost my virginity, and I was in a relationship with each of them, and have never had a one night stand, and never will.

    But I don't see why it's anybody's business how many people a man or woman has slept with in the past.

    Some people have said that they would think a promiscuous person would get bored of them in bed. I won't lie, I had that thought about my OH, especially because the women he had slept with before me were all promiscuous, so had experience. So, I just told him straight out that I was worried I wouldn't be enough for him. He reassured me, we took things slowly and we STILL explore new things sexually each time we sleep together, including things he has never done.

    Make enough effort and have some love and trust, and neither of you will get bored quickly.

    I do agree that 500 is a seriously high number and way above what I would think is average, but I also wouldn't dump someone over it.


  • #253
    PucaMama
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,129 ✭✭✭PucaMama


    Buzz Killington the third wrote: »
    That is utter non sense
    just search thru a few forums. you will get all the views, from just playing women to the extreme of the 'men going their own way'. women are bad is what you will see if you search long enough.


  • #254
    Buzz Killington the third
    Closed Accounts Posts: 937 ✭✭✭Buzz Killington the third


    green_screen wrote: »
    I'm far from promiscuous myself, my number is 5 in the 8 years since I lost my virginity, and I was in a relationship with each of them, and have never had a one night stand, and never will.

    ....,,

    I do agree that 500 is a seriously high number and way above what I would think is average, but I also wouldn't dump someone over it.
    You might say that you wouldn't dump them but given your views on sex mentioned above, I can't see you not being bothered by a partner sleeping with over 100x more people than you, most of them being 3/4/5 somes or one night stands.


  • #255
    Red Nissan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,055 ✭✭✭Red Nissan


    diveout wrote: »
    and chances are all those people have just blurred into one foggy memory, in which they just became an extension of masterbation. And I will too eventually become part of that fog.

    It does not sound like from the description, she seems to have blurted out as if it were normal and indeed as if she missed some of it at least.

    Women do things and they do forget, women have a capacity to submerge past relationships and devote their full attention to the their new mate.

    The way in which this woman revealed her past is the most significant statement in this story, whether a true story or a novelist looking to write another chapter, this girl carries her past right there with her.


  • #256
    irishguy1983
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,389 ✭✭✭irishguy1983


    Larry Wildman wrote: »
    People are being way too sanctimonious and PC within this thread.

    The OP's ex is a disgrace...a promiscuous slut and a deviant. It is absolutely not okay to sleep with 500 people and to claim otherwise is revisionist pseudo liberal claptrap.

    Well said Larry - I don't think she is a disgrace though - tis her own choice.

    I wouldn't touch her with a barge pole myself but each to their own.


  • #257
    Banjoxed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,844 ✭✭✭Banjoxed


    h.bolla wrote: »
    Myself and my GF broke up a few months back and it happened after a discussion about another girl with a similar story to the Magaluf girl.

    I said something like 'no self respecting man will date the girl after this' and my GF defended her saying that shes young and drunk and what you do expect at that age.

    I replied by saying "you were young and did you ever do anything like that?". Then her face changed I knew something was up.

    After a lot of rowing she admitted she had a 6-some one night (her and 5 other men) along with a dozen or 3-somes over the years and has lost count on the amount of drunken one night stands shes had with randomers. Oh and for most of her teens right up to her mid 20's she has always had 1 or 2 friends with benefits at any given time most of them lasting for 3-4 months. She guessed all in all that she'd had around 500 partners give or take.

    Its not exactly the kinda image that sprang to mind when we first got together and told me she only ever had 2 boyfriends and I'd be her third.

    But alas, apparantly its none of my business what went on in her past, and if Im annoyed about her past then obviously I dont deserve her.

    I thought I just had the worst luck and was dating a right bitch and put it behind me and moved on. But then I was reading a few threads on here (in the personal issues section) and I noticed that quite a lot of women posters have the same attitude.

    This attitude really blows my mind. How do you gentlmen feel about the whole thing?

    What someone did before they met me is none of my business.


  • #258
    Aurora Green
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 39 ✭Aurora Green


    Magaggie wrote: »
    I don't agree with people having an issue with sex and viewing it as dirty, but the polar opposite of viewing sex as on a par with going to the jax is the other side of the same coin IMO. I hate the idea of it having zero meaning, even if I don't think a person should have to be in love with every person they have sex with either.
    I don't agree with such a cold, calculated attitude to sex because I don't like the view of sex that way. I know it's me projecting but it's just my view and I've tried to change it, however I can't.
    This thing of her "just liking sex" I don't get. I love sex - absolutely adore it and have had some extraordinarily intense experiences, but no way would I go out ****ing a different man every week for years.

    I can't eat mint ice cream, others love it, people have different tastes.


  • #259
    Aurora Green
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 39 ✭Aurora Green


    Da Shins Kelly wrote: »
    First off, I'd have my doubts about the truth in that number.

    Secondly, as far as I can see, conversations about sexual history almost always end in strife. It's a goddamn can of worms is what it is. If you're cool with knowing, fine, but honestly I think most people are irked by the thought of their boy/girlfriend with other people and can't handle what they hear in these discussions. If thinking and talking about someone's past makes you feel insecure, you shouldn't be asking those questions in the first place, much less demanding to know.

    So you would subscribe to the ignorance is bliss notion.


  • #260
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    Buzz Killington the third wrote: »
    You might say that you wouldn't dump them but given your views on sex mentioned above, I can't see you not being bothered by a partner sleeping with over 100x more people than you, most of them being 3/4/5 somes or one night stands.

    My boyfriend has slept with well over 50 people (which I consider to be a very high number), including loads of one night stands, a few threesomes and other stuff. It still doesn't bother me. He chose to have more than just meaningless sex with me.


  • #261
    sentient_6
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,777 ✭✭✭sentient_6


    Would people ever get over 500 figure like it's a definite, it's clearly plucked from the air to mean 'a lot!'


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  • #262
    Tasden
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,166 ✭✭✭Tasden


    Da Shins Kelly wrote: »
    First off, I'd have my doubts about the truth in that number.

    Secondly, as far as I can see, conversations about sexual history almost always end in strife. It's a goddamn can of worms is what it is. If you're cool with knowing, fine, but honestly I think most people are irked by the thought of their boy/girlfriend with other people and can't handle what they hear in these discussions. If thinking and talking about someone's past makes you feel insecure, you shouldn't be asking those questions in the first place, much less demanding to know.

    Spot on.

    The only thing I really know about my partners previous sexual encounters is that one resulted in his child being conceived. And all he knows of mine is that one resulted in my child. No need to know anything else. Maybe the odd story here or there but no interrogation over numbers. We were both tested and are clean and that is all that matters and we have no arguments. There is no need to know. If I did know it'd make no difference to me whatsoever.


  • #263
    Shakespeare's Sister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,412 ✭✭✭Shakespeare's Sister


    Aurora Green wrote: »
    I can't eat mint ice cream, others love it, people have different tastes.
    Oh it's you again. Telling the lads it's fair enough if they have a problem with it, telling the women they're being uptight.


  • #264
    Hazys
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,510 ✭✭✭Hazys


    sentient_6 wrote: »
    Would people ever get over 500 figure like it's a definite, it's clearly plucked from the air to mean 'a lot!'

    From the OP "She guessed all in all that she'd had around 500 partners give or take."


  • #265
    PucaMama
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,129 ✭✭✭PucaMama


    Hazys wrote: »
    From the OP "She guessed all in all that she'd had around 500 partners give or take."
    ....


  • #266
    Shakespeare's Sister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,412 ✭✭✭Shakespeare's Sister


    whupdedo wrote: »
    Men will take what they're given from a woman on a night out, if that's full sex or any form of sex that involves him blowing his baby sauce, then don't expect a phone call the following day,
    Ew, despise that too. "She's a slut but I'm going to shag her anyway and contribute to her 'slutdom'" - colossal hypocrisy. And worse than any "sluttiness".
    While nothing will make me believe having sex with 500 people is a healthy thing (in the case of a woman or man) some of the things being said about her on this thread are despicable.


  • #267
    Shakespeare's Sister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,412 ✭✭✭Shakespeare's Sister


    cletus van damme wrote: »
    if you look at the the actual comment online about magaluf girl/ slane girl etc - most men will laugh and maybe use one words like "slag" or "slut" etc..
    The real viscous stuff comes from other women. The real judgement comes from within their own gender.
    Seems like confirmation bias. From what I saw, it was 50/50.


  • #268
    Red Nissan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,055 ✭✭✭Red Nissan


    Magaggie wrote: »
    Ew, despise that too. "She's a slut but I'm going to shag her anyway and contribute to her 'slutdom'" - colossal hypocrisy. And worse than any "sluttiness".
    While nothing will make me believe having sex with 500 people is a healthy thing (in the case of a woman or man) some of the things being said about her on this thread are despicable.

    So now you know ladies.

    God gave man a hand so he need noth bother you girls, but never lose sight of the fact, the FACT that it was Eve who corrupted Adam.

    It's all womens' fault and most men are just laughing in ecstasy and it's not a pill. :pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac:


  • #269
    Da Shins Kelly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,047 ✭✭✭Da Shins Kelly


    Aurora Green wrote: »
    So you would subscribe to the ignorance is bliss notion.

    For people who can't handle what they hear in these conversations, I'd say yeah it is. If your partner's past bothers you or if its something you don't like thinking about (I don't blame anyone for not liking to hear that) then don't start asking questions or getting into an interrogation about it because you're not going to like what you hear more often than not and it may end up ruining an otherwise good relationship. Unless there's a previous relationship that was hugely significant (like resulting in a child as was already mentioned, or if there was some baggage from the relationship or something) I don't see the point in getting into it, especially not this numbers game so many seem to enjoy playing. You're just going to drive yourself crazy.


  • #270
    Hazys
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,510 ✭✭✭Hazys


    PucaMama wrote: »
    ....

    We'll i doubt she rounded up fron 50 to 500 :confused:


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  • #271
    Aurora Green
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 39 ✭Aurora Green


    Magaggie wrote: »
    Oh it's you again. Telling the lads it's fair enough if they have a problem with it, telling the women they're being uptight.

    Nope, my position is that there is nothing wrong with being promiscuous and there is also nothing wrong with someone not wanting their partner to be promiscuous. Everyone is entitled to their personal preferences.


This discussion has been closed.
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