Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Skeleton XIII · 23-06-2014 07:20PM

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

It's the way they are used that bothers me.

I have to admit, every person I see up to this craic goes down a little in my estimation. I know what it's for, but it's always used for the most vacuous ****e.

Another thing that irks me is the status update where certain folks have this little yoke with a smilie after whatever crap they've spouted e.g. "So much college work to do!"feelingstressed:(

Piss off, you attention seeking spa. No one cares.

implausible · 23-06-2014 07:33PM

Skeleton XIII wrote: »

Another thing that irks me is the status update where certain folks have this little yoke with a smilie after whatever crap they've spouted e.g. "So much college work to do!"feelingstressed:(

+1, if you need to pick from a list suggested by facebook that you're feeling excited, then you're not very excited. And anyone who's 'feeling blessed' I generally want to do physical damage to. It usually can be translated as 'feeling like showing off'.

Photo-Sniper · 23-06-2014 10:42PM

Just witnessed.... "Why the fk dus Neymar play for brazzil when hes spanish ffs...he plays for barceloma"

Exact spelling (copy and pasted).

Fantastic

Nib · 23-06-2014 11:22PM

"Well bn a long and emotional day yep im a softie when it cums to my kids and im proud to say it bn a single mam has to be the hardest job in the world but im so glad ive rared them they way I have and love ye ta bits ‪#‎proudmum‬.comxxx"

Attention seeking at it's finest.

Muise... · 23-06-2014 11:24PM

Nib wrote: »

"Well bn a long and emotional day yep im a softie when it cums to my kids and im proud to say it bn a single mam has to be the hardest job in the world but im so glad ive rared them they way I have and love ye ta bits ‪#‎proudmum‬.comxxx"

Attention seeking at it's finest.

I don't like the spelling of 'cum' in the context of orgasm, but "when it cums to my kids" oh lord between us and all harm! :eek:

Nib · 23-06-2014 11:31PM

"proudmum.com" clinched it for me.

Silly cow. Hasn't worked a day in her life and gets everything handed to her by the SW.

LynnGrace · 23-06-2014 11:45PM

implausible wrote: »

+1, if you need to pick from a list suggested by facebook that you're feeling excited, then you're not very excited. And anyone who's 'feeling blessed' I generally want to do physical damage to. It usually can be translated as 'feeling like showing off'.

That is for sure.

Dolbert · 24-06-2014 12:55PM

"Facebook friends....but pass you by...or dare to make eye contact on the street. ..just weird and shallow. .....very shallow"

From a Facebook business page :rolleyes:

HeidiHeidi · 24-06-2014 02:53PM

Dolbert wrote: »

"Facebook friends....but pass you by...or dare to make eye contact on the street. ..just weird and shallow. .....very shallow"

From a Facebook business page :rolleyes:

That doesn't even make sense

snaphook · 24-06-2014 04:37PM

Someone got new shoes from her "bestest hubby".

Friend: What did you do to deserve them?

Poster: Ah sure just being da usual fabulous person that I am!!

Sweet sufferin' Jaysus.

Fiolina · 24-06-2014 05:03PM

No matter how pretty you are, your poxy stuck up personality makes you the ugliest bitch ever.. Live a little Maybe if u ate half of the make up on your face it would make u pretty on the inside too?? Witches everywhere

sullivlo · 24-06-2014 07:14PM

"6 months today to Christmas Eve xxx"

*unfollow*

honerbright · 24-06-2014 07:14PM

Someone I know is currently "on root'" to somewhere :pac:

desultory · 24-06-2014 07:25PM

snaphook wrote: »

Someone got new shoes from her "bestest hubby".

Friend: What did you do to deserve them?

Poster: Ah sure just being da usual fabulous person that I am!!

Sweet sufferin' Jaysus.

Translation: she gave him a blowjob.

Photo-Sniper · 24-06-2014 11:39PM

Seen this on facebook earlier but may have been a repost...but nonetheless, the facebook status really exists.

"Gonna be sum amazing weekend 14 lads/31 gallons of beer/5 days....MENTAL!"

Someone had posted underneath it

"31 Gallons =248 pints
248 pints between 14 lads is 17.7 pints per person
17.7 pints over 5 days =3.5 pints a day.

3.5 pints a day..... Yeah id say its going to be ****ing mental stuff altogether.

Chattastrophe! · 25-06-2014 05:34AM

Disclaimer - I am not friends with this person - I just happened to see them on another friend's page and the profile name was (e.g.) "Steph and Billy", so I had to click in to see what kind of gobsh!tes would have a joint Facebook account (someone should really let them know that it's free to open a second account.)

Anyways ...

"haha jealousy is ah terblie thing get over urself love ya dont bother me in what ya say or anybody else ither , my daughter wasnt brought to the world for jealousy she was brought here cause she was wanted , anyway the whole town yah can talk cause cudnt give ah fuk bought any yeah , only the 1s i love me hubby and me daughter love to yeah tah bitz xxxxxx"

Fiolina · 25-06-2014 01:26PM

Wen a fat bird walks in d doors of a club giving it socks like she's stunning

This gem was posted by a friend of a friend who obviously sees himself as God's gift. His page is full of pics of him showing off his latest tattoos and his "guns".

He got a bit of stick from a few girls but came back with this..

Ah no but like out straight no mess I can understand a fat girls exciment wen she walks into Burger King or kfc but wen ur walking into a nightclub jus relax urself

yerwanthere123 · 25-06-2014 06:26PM

"phones broke people.thats why im never online. im in an internet café in town drinking Flagon waiting to go to court for robbery

depressing not the word. bruree hurry up before I snap. 5 months good rehabilititation is well on the cards haha im a f*ck up at the moment. I used to be like Tyson

now im like gazza haha. wish me luck

or else il rob ur shop haha messing"

They just keep coming.

Paddy Cow · 25-06-2014 06:50PM

Fiolina wrote: »

Wen a fat bird walks in d doors of a club giving it socks like she's stunning

This gem was posted by a friend of a friend who obviously sees himself as God's gift. His page is full of pics of him showing off his latest tattoos and his "guns".

He got a bit of stick from a few girls but came back with this..

Ah no but like out straight no mess I can understand a fat girls exciment wen she walks into Burger King or kfc but wen ur walking into a nightclub jus relax urself

I bet such a sensitive reply defused the situation lol

Taylor365 · 26-06-2014 08:35AM

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

"phones broke people.thats why im never online. im in an internet café in town drinking Flagon waiting to go to court for robbery depressing not the word. bruree hurry up before I snap. 5 months good rehabilititation is well on the cards haha im a f*ck up at the moment. I used to be like Tyson now im like gazza haha. wish me luck or else il rob ur shop haha messing"

They just keep coming.

Aka your ''friend''.

:pac:

Chattastrophe! · 26-06-2014 09:44AM

"Woz At Clinic Tadaii Told Me If I Dont Go Be4 Tuesdaii Dare Bringing Moii In Wednesdaiii Moring At 8 O Clock Tah Start Moiii , Please God I Go MeSelf Witou Dum Prodin And Prokeing Me , So HopeFullii Il Start MySelf Please God"

Seriously, is it not an awful lot more difficult and time-consuming to type like that? I don't get the point!

banie01 · 26-06-2014 09:47AM

desultory wrote: »

Translation: she gave him a blowjob.

Nah.....
She's married! Wive's dont do that once the cake is eaten :P
Unless they are really really expensive shoes!
Or its not their Hubbie :P

dee_mc · 26-06-2014 11:19AM

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

"Woz At Clinic Tadaii Told Me If I Dont Go Be4 Tuesdaii Dare Bringing Moii In Wednesdaiii Moring At 8 O Clock Tah Start Moiii , Please God I Go MeSelf Witou Dum Prodin And Prokeing Me , So HopeFullii Il Start MySelf Please God"

Seriously, is it not an awful lot more difficult and time-consuming to type like that? I don't get the point!

Miss Piggy is pregnant?

coolhull · 26-06-2014 01:23PM

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

"Woz At Clinic Tadaii Told Me If I Dont Go Be4 Tuesdaii Dare Bringing Moii In Wednesdaiii Moring At 8 O Clock Tah Start Moiii , Please God I Go MeSelf Witou Dum Prodin And Prokeing Me , So HopeFullii Il Start MySelf Please God"

Seriously, is it not an awful lot more difficult and time-consuming to type like that? I don't get the point!

And this "person" is going to be a parent?
Of a real child?
And who is 'Moiii? Is she pregnant as well?

December2012 · 26-06-2014 02:05PM

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

"Woz At Clinic Tadaii Told Me If I Dont Go Be4 Tuesdaii Dare Bringing Moii In Wednesdaiii Moring At 8 O Clock Tah Start Moiii , Please God I Go MeSelf Witou Dum Prodin And Prokeing Me , So HopeFullii Il Start MySelf Please God"

Seriously, is it not an awful lot more difficult and time-consuming to type like that? I don't get the point!

Pretentious? Moi?

Chattastrophe! · 26-06-2014 07:32PM

coolhull wrote: »

And this "person" is going to be a parent?
Of a real child?
And who is 'Moiii? Is she pregnant as well?

It's interesting how it goes from Me to Moii to Moiii ... perhaps there is some subtlety of knacker-grammar we're missing out on here?

ElvisChrist6 · 26-06-2014 10:47PM

Friend of mine passed her exams meaning she got her degree and will be graduating in September. Her status honestly made me laugh:

"honour degree in music composition. went out to my dad in his workshop crying with relief and he put his arms around me and said 'is this about suarez?' Nice."

Paddy Cow · 26-06-2014 11:50PM

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

"Woz At Clinic Tadaii Told Me If I Dont Go Be4 Tuesdaii Dare Bringing Moii In Wednesdaiii Moring At 8 O Clock Tah Start Moiii , Please God I Go MeSelf Witou Dum Prodin And Prokeing Me , So HopeFullii Il Start MySelf Please God"

When I read that I honestly thought it meant she had to check in at the psychiatric unit and if she didn't go voluntarily on Tuesday, they would force her on Wednesday

Fluxfan · 27-06-2014 11:04AM

A girl who I went to school with posted up a pic of her toddler playing in a low shelf of a wardrobe, right under a shelf of aerosols. On closer inspection, she had a can of deodorant in her hand, the lid of it thrown on the floor. Now I don't have a child but what?!?!?! Who does this?!

Comments were worse:

"Fab photo hun xXx"

"Sooooooo cute"xxxxx

Same person shared a post today that said"

"Delete me if I'm wrong! All of us have 1,000 wishes! To be thinner, stronger, much, sh1te, bla, more bla. A cancer sufferer has only 1 wish. Only 3% of this will share this in support. Share if you care!"

- I think she needs to be deleted

Jikashi · 27-06-2014 11:16AM

ppcperson wrote: »

I think she needs to be deleted

Agreed. Not unfriended; actually deleted from existence. Child'll probably be safer too