Mass unmarked grave for 800 babies in Tuam

Bannasidhe wrote: »

They ran Bessborough in Cork - a name that instilled fear in many a Cork woman and they certainly have some questions to answer if this case is any indication.

I have quite close personal dealings with Bessborough seeing that I was born there and given up for adoption myself. My own experience has been nothing but positive and I have meet nuns there on many occasion who helped me trace my birth mother.

Surprisingly (and this will come to a shock to some who won't like to hear this) but my birth mother whom is non-religious and very very left wing has had nothing but good to say about her own treatment there and the level of care and support she was given. This came to a surprise to me as well when I heard her write this as I thought like most Irish people that by default she must have been shouted at, called names, judged, slapped and so forth... Well not so at all. Hmm, interesting I thought. Then I thought why did I think my original perceived reality of life for unwed women. Well, the media is powerful tool... snippets here are there of abuse in this church, that parish, this school, some institution, after a while one gets the impression the whole system is one big cesspit of corruption, secrets and abuse. It may be a perception and perception can be reality for some however, it is not actual reality.

This is actually the primary reason why I generally call for objectivity when it comes to any discussion when talking about the RCC and its past. History is generally not the knight in shining armour, dancing with fair maidens at the cross roads or the terrible deeds of Irelands Gulags past. It is much more nuanced and complicated than that. I personally feel that these events can only be judged from afar. Those that lived in those times may have been too fearful to speak out, those generation after suffer from the guilt, so make up with it by over playing their hand. I think we need the next generation or two to actually write the history of this time.

I reject mostly the atmosphere of fear that media and the internet perpetuate and generate when talking about Irelands past. Of course terrible things happened and they need to be investigated thoroughly by an independent body. The 'twitterisation' of news and media does not help proper reflection. Nobody actually thinks now, they react.

However, there seems to be a huge brush being painted here that every single person that has had a dealing with one of this religious orders or institutions was somehow mentally and/or physically abused in some way. Clearly in my case it was not the case.

Abuse did happen. It should not have happened at all. It should be reported of course to authorities and the media who should be responsible in its reporting. As we all know good news doesn't sell. I don't bemoan that fact that there are no good news stories coming out of places like this, as clearly there are but thats just the way it is. The people of yesterday didn't want to believe any of the bad news. Today people don't want to hear any of the good news. Ce la vie.

Going back to bessborough, I also know of other people who came from there as we had 'parties' of some sort where children who were adopted came together to have a gathering (cake, fizzy drink, parents chat over tea, that type of stuff, ). It was very open, no secrets and all this dark negativity that people think goes hand in and such like a place like this. I always knew where I came from and the nuns or priests who I talked to never judged me differently.

The place is still open as well, providing support to women and families.
http://www.bessborough.ie/about-us/
It is now overseen by the HSE.

This is my own personal reflection and experience much like the women who have come out with their own personal stories. Every story should be heard no matter how bad or how good it is. Only then can we come close to the real truth.