Hen parties...why not just one night as tradition?

mrsbyrne · 12-05-2014 6:01pm

Electric Sheep wrote: »

That really would be my idea of hell.

Me too

Apparently we're just not good"craic" people.

Kate!!! · 12-05-2014 6:09pm

All brides should have the night/nights they want !!! Whether it is a big lavish weekend away or a night in the pub. Having the night you want does not make you selfish if someone you invite doesn't want to attend that's their choice . If you don't do what you want you will regret it. Life is too short !

kkcatlou · 12-05-2014 6:22pm

Kate!!! wrote: »

All brides should have the night/nights they want !!! Whether it is a big lavish weekend away or a night in the pub. Having the night you want does not make you selfish if someone you invite doesn't want to attend that's their choice . If you don't do what you want you will regret it. Life is too short !

I agree....unless they are putting everybody else to loads of expense or hassle...for the simple reason that people either won't turn up or will resent being there and be no craic on the night!

With regard to what makes good craic on a hen - I don't think it was ever insinuated by anyone here that good craic is made up having willies and L plates everywhere and everybody getting stocious drunk. To me, what makes a good hen party is having lots of people, who actually want to be there, celebrating that somebody they care about is about to do something really special (get married) and show they care by getting involved in whatever it is the bride in question wants to do.

For me, that would be a bit of "organised fun" as in some way for all of my different groups of friends/ family to get to know each other before they socialise at our wedding. It definitely won't be willies and L plates and lots of gifts for me, and ridiculous amounts of drink. But I've been at hens where that was what they wanted, and I embraced it because the hens involved meant a lot to me!

Kate!!! · 12-05-2014 6:42pm

kkcatlou wrote: »

I agree....unless they are putting everybody else to loads of expense or hassle...for the simple reason that people either won't turn up or will resent being there and be no craic on the night!

With regard to what makes good craic on a hen - I don't think it was ever insinuated by anyone here that good craic is made up having willies and L plates everywhere and everybody getting stocious drunk. To me, what makes a good hen party is having lots of people, who actually want to be there, celebrating that somebody they care about is about to do something really special (get married) and show they care by getting involved in whatever it is the bride in question wants to do.

For me, that would be a bit of "organised fun" as in some way for all of my different groups of friends/ family to get to know each other before they socialise at our wedding. It definitely won't be willies and L plates and lots of gifts for me, and ridiculous amounts of drink. But I've been at hens where that was what they wanted, and I embraced it because the hens involved meant a lot to me!

I agree keep a group small and have those you want there and who want to be there only. No willies or L plates for me either ðŸ˜„

Teyla Emmagan · 12-05-2014 7:10pm

mrsbyrne wrote: »

Well, people seem to enjoy making other feel uncomfortable when they dont/wont knuckle down and conform. It definitely wasnt or isnt for me either or others on this thread. Just make sure no well meaning friends dont jump out of a corner at you one nite waving a pink plastic plonker and shouting surprise!

Funny, isn't it? People don't seem to like people going there own way for some reason. As if it's a criticism of other people's choices if you don't do what they did. That you 'have' to do x, y or z.

The best hen night I was ever at was in a friend's house. She cooked dinner, there was 6 of us, and we spent the night chatting and laughing and telling old tales. It was actually lovely.

I would also like to add mrsbyrne that I for one enjoy your contribution to these threads, I find your perspective generally very interesting!

mrsbyrne · 12-05-2014 8:03pm

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

Funny, isn't it? People don't seem to like people going there own way for some reason. As if it's a criticism of other people's choices if you don't do what they did. That you 'have' to do x, y or z.

The best hen night I was ever at was in a friend's house. She cooked dinner, there was 6 of us, and we spent the night chatting and laughing and telling old tales. It was actually lovely.

I would also like to add mrsbyrne that I for one enjoy your contribution to these threads, I find your perspective generally very interesting!

And I enjoy your contributions!
How many hens have found themselves tied to a chair with an aging stripper wiggling his family jewels 2cm from her nose while her mother in law looks on in never to be erased horror. And all because the matron of honor wanted some other girl to be the tackiest hen in the groups history.

ABajaninCork · 12-05-2014 8:24pm

Oh don't!! That happened at a hen I was at in Soho once. The bride just wanted a meal and a dance. She said NO STRPPERS!! Fair enough, I say. Suits me fine.

We were all dancing and having a good time when my boss comes round asking for £20. What for? I says. To get a lap dance for Jane she says. Are you sure? I thought she said no strippers?? Nah, she'll be fine. She'll love it says my boss. I had no money, intending to go to the cashpoint later, so I tell her that.

They got the stripper anyway. And guess what? The bride had an absolute screaming fit and rushed out of the place in tears. Killed the night stone dead...

After that? NO MORE HEN PARTIES!!!

xzanti · 12-05-2014 8:38pm

mrsbyrne wrote: »

an aging stripper wiggling his family jewels 2cm from her nose

How could you resist?

Kate!!! · 12-05-2014 8:51pm

That's terrible forcing a stripper on the girl. People have very little respect for what other people want . People try to live vicariously through others !!!

Electric Sheep · 12-05-2014 9:03pm

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Oh don't!! That happened at a hen I was at in Soho once. The bride just wanted a meal and a dance. She said NO STRPPERS!! Fair enough, I say. Suits me fine.

We were all dancing and having a good time when my boss comes round asking for £20. What for? I says. To get a lap dance for Jane she says. Are you sure? I thought she said no strippers?? Nah, she'll be fine. She'll love it says my boss. I had no money, intending to go to the cashpoint later, so I tell her that.

They got the stripper anyway. And guess what? The bride had an absolute screaming fit and rushed out of the place in tears. Killed the night stone dead...

After that? NO MORE HEN PARTIES!!!

Which just goes to show that one person't "great craic" is another person's miserable experience. Why do people need to force their tackiness on others?

Liam McPoyle · 12-05-2014 10:13pm

Some interesting reading on this thread.

I have to say, Im thoroughly looking forward to my stag weekend when ever it is. I intend having it over a minimum of 2 nights, possibly 3 depending on where we go. Not that Im feeling the need to explain myself but Im going to share my thoughts on it and the 2 main reasons why I want to have one.

1) I love my pints, I genuinely do. Myself and herself are paying for the wedding ourselves so with that in mind, its going to result in us pretty much cutting our socializing down to a bare minimum over the next year or so. We know what we want and we are willing to pay for it so for me, its not a sacrifice but if all goes according to plan we will have everything pretty much paid for within 2 months of the wedding so the stag will be a big blow out, the feast after the famine if you will.

2) Ive lived in a couple of different counties, worked for a couple of different companies, and have college friends that I rarely get to see. The stag will be an opportunity to spend some time with people that played important parts in my life throughout its various stages from when I started in secondary school up to the present day. Been in a couple makes it very difficult to see people, particularly the ones (which are in the majority) that live outside of Dublin so with the stag its setting a date to be able to say, "right lads, we are going to hang out, get pissed, talk shyte and have a laugh, just like we did in the past".

There is alot of judgement in this thread from people almost looking down on others that choose to have a hen or a stag, and vice versa.

Some people are into them, some aren't, and both is ok, ultimately its purely personal preference so nobody has the right to sneer or condescend to others that choose to have one or not.

ABajaninCork · 12-05-2014 10:21pm

As far as I can see, nobody was 'condescending' as you put it. A couple of posters got a bit heated, but it's par for these sort of threads which inevitably descend into chaos.

But the OP asked a question. We've all chipped in with differing opinions. That's it.

Toots · 13-05-2014 1:37am

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Oh don't!! That happened at a hen I was at in Soho once. The bride just wanted a meal and a dance. She said NO STRPPERS!! Fair enough, I say. Suits me fine.

We were all dancing and having a good time when my boss comes round asking for £20. What for? I says. To get a lap dance for Jane she says. Are you sure? I thought she said no strippers?? Nah, she'll be fine. She'll love it says my boss. I had no money, intending to go to the cashpoint later, so I tell her that.

They got the stripper anyway. And guess what? The bride had an absolute screaming fit and rushed out of the place in tears. Killed the night stone dead...

After that? NO MORE HEN PARTIES!!!

My SIL was at a hens where that happened. It was a nice dinner in a private area of a gastro-pub type thing, everyone having a lovely time. Then this random dude shows up and starts stripping down to an ill fitting banana hammock, then whipped that off too and was basically waving his gentleman vegetables in the bride's face!! They were all wondering what the hell was going on and thought maybe there was another hen group in the pub and he got the groups mixed up. Turns out one of the girls on the hen had, unbeknownst to anyone else, taken it upon herself to hire the stripper!! And was very put out when she tried to do a whip around to recoup what she'd spent and the rest of the group (quite rightly) refused to chip in.

rainbow kirby · 13-05-2014 9:12am

Hen party? A few close friends and a keg of Old Speckled Hen sounds pretty good

Gatica · 13-05-2014 9:31am

Toots* wrote: »

And was very put out when she tried to do a whip around to recoup what she'd spent and the rest of the group (quite rightly) refused to chip in.

Fair play to them for sticking to their guns. Ridiculous to go against bride's wishes.
I didn't want tack at my hen. There was some, but it was within a reasonable frame that it didn't freak me out completely. Ultimately at that stage I just had to go with the flow, and it all turned out to be good fun anyway... luckily no onlookers as we were staying in cottages.

littlelulu · 14-05-2014 12:25pm

I was invited to a hen night before. The email with the information stated:

X said she doesn't want any tack so get out there and find the tackiest thing possible. I didn't get anything.

I don't understand why somebody would go against someones wishes

Neyite · 14-05-2014 1:54pm

littlelulu wrote: »

I was invited to a hen night before. The email with the information stated:

X said she doesn't want any tack so get out there and find the tackiest thing possible. I didn't get anything.

I don't understand why somebody would go against someones wishes

Some 'friend'.

I think age can be a factor too. In my early twenties, a 2 day hen full of drink, strippers and willie straws would have been hilarious. Now I'm going to be 40 at least when I marry, because we've not set a date yet, but I think my group of friends would enjoy more a relaxing time away from our kids, and time to catch up properly because we dont see each other as often as we did when we were younger.

When you think about it, if we already have toddlers forcing us to wear tacky dress-up clothes, following us into the loos, spilling drinks, puking, messing with tacky plastic tat, that flashes and makes lots of noise and has music, throwing strops, getting lost, crying, being loud, ruining a nice outfit, etc etc every single day, is it any wonder some of us would prefer a tranquil spa day, a hot meal (that we can actually finish) a nice cuppa and an early (uninterrupted) night for a change :pac:.

Typer Monkey · 14-05-2014 2:30pm

Ha Neyite! Very true. You just made me feel very old

Woodville56 · 14-05-2014 2:55pm

Totally agree with Op on this topic! Was in a large provincial town/city a few weekends ago and came upon 2 Hen Parties on the streets. One was fine, all jolly and fun and well behaved etc. The shenanigans of the second group however were disgraceful: very drunk, disheveled , making lewd/ crude gestures at passing males, carrying an inflatable plastic "male organ" and making gestures with same item, raucous loud and boorish. If this is anyone's idea of a good time, I must be losing it and completely out of touch in my middle age !!
I'm definitely not prudish or against people having a good time, most of the Hen and Stag parties I see are fine and enjoying themselves, but this "performance " was disgraceful and demeaning of all involved. The look of amazement on the faces of tourists and passers by said it all - I don't think they were finding it amusing or funny ! As for the participants in the debacle - they appeared to be so p***ed that the probably don't remember much of it ! Is this really the way Irish women ( definite Irish accents) albeit a small minority, want to be seen having a good time ?? Is this the way Ireland Inc want their cities and towns portrayed to tourists etc ?

Tarzana · 14-05-2014 3:05pm

amdublin wrote: »

Since when (and why) did the hen parties turn into big expensive two/three night events?

My sis's hen is coming up in about 5 months and she was very clear that it's just to be one night, dinner followed by drinks in Dublin where she and most of most attendees live. She knows that it's tight financially for some of her friends and always found the weekend away thing decadent anyway. There are loads of lovely restaurants in Dublin that do great value set menus so I'm finding it pretty easy to plan!

Tarzana · 14-05-2014 4:20pm

homemadecider wrote: »

THIS! Someone was giving out to me for not including an "activity" in my hen night. I'm 31 years old FFS, I don't need to organise activities for my friends, we're old enough to entertain ourselves. Wine and gossip is activity enough!

Especially as people's interests vary so much. If it was an activity I enjoy, I'd be all for it, but if not, apathy would be the best I could muster.

michellie · 14-05-2014 5:45pm

I'd do a one nighter here only for Waterford is awful for pubs and bars! I'm thinking about going to Galway for mine, I hate all the dressing up and matching t-shirts and all that jazz.

So I'm gona go for a nice hotel and nice dinner somewhere with drinks afterwards:)

Electric Sheep · 14-05-2014 5:51pm

littlelulu wrote: »

I was invited to a hen night before. The email with the information stated:

X said she doesn't want any tack so get out there and find the tackiest thing possible. I didn't get anything.

I don't understand why somebody would go against someones wishes

For the "craic":rolleyes:. You must be no craic at all.

mrsbyrne · 14-05-2014 6:04pm

littlelulu wrote: »

I was invited to a hen night before. The email with the information stated:

X said she doesn't want any tack so get out there and find the tackiest thing possible. I didn't get anything.

I don't understand why somebody would go against someones wishes

See this is bitchiness of the highest order. The sender of the e mail is really saying " even though the bride likes me enough to trust me with her hen night, I think she's a stuck up cow so I'm going to ruin the night for her and your going to help me". This is how women treat other women. Men don't act like this.

Toots · 14-05-2014 6:07pm

Neyite wrote: »

Some 'friend'.

I think age can be a factor too. In my early twenties, a 2 day hen full of drink, strippers and willie straws would have been hilarious. Now I'm going to be 40 at least when I marry, because we've not set a date yet, but I think my group of friends would enjoy more a relaxing time away from our kids, and time to catch up properly because we dont see each other as often as we did when we were younger.

I was 24 getting married and I definitely didn't think willy straws were hilarious! My hen was in my parents house so I was adamant that nothing remotely phallic would feature in the festivities, particularly considering that my mother in law and my own mum and dad were at the party too

. My sister put it on the invitations that I didn't want any "hen" gear and thankfully nobody decided to stick L plates on me or arrange for a naked man to gyrate on my face

I really don't understand why people would go out of their way to arrange stuff like this, particularly if it's the polar opposite of what the bride would like.

Faith · 14-05-2014 6:16pm

I don't want any tack at all for mine... But I still think willie straws are hilarious

XxMCRxBabyxX · 14-05-2014 6:17pm

mrsbyrne wrote: »

Men don't act like this.

While I agree with you in general lets not turn this into a women v men thing. Men can be just as bad as finding ways to bring in what they want even if their friends don't. It's more of a general this is what always happens on hens/stags and I want it to happen so screw them and what they want. Male or female.

michellie · 14-05-2014 8:47pm

Electric Sheep wrote: »

For the "craic":rolleyes:. You must be no craic at all.

I would HATE if my friends did that and they know I don't like all that tacky stuff.

And I think I'm good craic:)

Toots · 14-05-2014 9:11pm

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

While I agree with you in general lets not turn this into a women v men thing. Men can be just as bad as finding ways to bring in what they want even if their friends don't. It's more of a general this is what always happens on hens/stags and I want it to happen so screw them and what they want. Male or female.

I remember coming back from a boards beers years ago and a group of us were all coming out of burger king on o'connell street and came across some poor stag who had all his clothes robbed by his so-called-mates and was covered in what looked like paint. He was wandering up the road like a crab trying to keep his bits covered with a runner

Neyite · 14-05-2014 10:50pm

Toots* wrote: »

I was 24 getting married and I definitely didn't think willy straws were hilarious! My hen was in my parents house so I was adamant that nothing remotely phallic would feature in the festivities, particularly considering that my mother in law and my own mum and dad were at the party too

. My sister put it on the invitations that I didn't want any "hen" gear and thankfully nobody decided to stick L plates on me or arrange for a naked man to gyrate on my face

I really don't understand why people would go out of their way to arrange stuff like this, particularly if it's the polar opposite of what the bride would like.

You know you have keepers if your friends arrange exactly the kind of night you'd enjoy. If someone did the polar opposite of what I'd feel comfortable with, causing me to squirm with embarrassment I'd honestly be rethinking the friendship, wondering if she 'gets' me at all.

Hen parties...why not just one night as tradition?

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