76 Things Banned in Leviticus- how many have you done?

bazza1 · 06-01-2014 11:26AM

Imagine going on a lads/stag weekend with Leviticus! Get him hammered and make him do the whole list!

efb · 06-01-2014 12:04PM

smcgiff wrote: »

You're right, although he does mention something about old laws and it's vague enough for those that want to read it a certain way to interpret to suit their agenda.

Might make sense considering Jesus was not wed, which would have been highly unusual at the time for a man into his 30's.

Some say he was

efb · 06-01-2014 01:06PM

Was the same fella involved in Limerick's City of Culture?

smcgiff · 06-01-2014 01:25PM

efb wrote: »

Was the same fella involved in Limerick's City of Culture?

Say what now?

krudler · 06-01-2014 01:26PM

Manach wrote: »

Possibly breaking the ones responding to trolls by pointing out the bible has to be put into the context of a living faith tradition, which holds that moral laws such as Moses commandments are immutable but disciplinary requirements are customs and so can be changed. This has been the case for about 2000 years now.

So why is it a lot of so called Christians have such issue with homosexuality, even though Jesus never mentioned it once, it's a leftover from the old testament days that never went the way of shellfish and polyester blend clothing.

mad muffin · 06-01-2014 01:30PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lk0IxL60VQs

tommy2bad · 06-01-2014 01:44PM

As one of our foremost theologians said....

nc19 · 06-01-2014 01:48PM

Just goes to show how stupid christanity is and anyone who believes in it

tommy2bad · 06-01-2014 01:55PM

nc19 wrote: »

Just goes to show how stupid christanity is and anyone who believes in it

And that's as good an example of ignorance as you'll ever see.
The OP referenced Leviticus and you jump to the conclusion that Christians and christianity are stupid. See where you went wrong?

Knight who says Meh · 06-01-2014 01:59PM

Ive done none of those of course.
Im a Christian.

smcgiff · 06-01-2014 02:16PM

tommy2bad wrote: »

And that's as good an example of ignorance as you'll ever see.
The OP referenced Leviticus and you jump to the conclusion that Christians and christianity are stupid. See where you went wrong?

If you look up your Christian bible will you find the OT in it?

Also, Jesus refers back to the OT.

Gyalist · 06-01-2014 02:23PM

krudler wrote: »

So why is it a lot of so called Christians have such issue with homosexuality, even though Jesus never mentioned it once, it's a leftover from the old testament days that never went the way of shellfish and polyester blend clothing.

Polyester blend clothing existed in biblical times? I'm sure that will be of interest to all the people who have devoted years of their lives studying these topics.

Pumpkinseeds · 06-01-2014 03:31PM

33.

tommy2bad · 06-01-2014 03:37PM

smcgiff wrote: »

If you look up your Christian bible will you find the OT in it?

Also, Jesus refers back to the OT.

You'll find a lot of books in the bible, not just an old testament and new testament. Jesus was a Jew, but you knew that right?

Paramite Pie · 06-01-2014 03:47PM

efb wrote: »

39. Having sex with a man “as one does with a woman” (18:22)

Hmm.... well anyone who thinks that two men have sex "as one does with a woman" is completely naive, a woman would never let you try anal!:)

_Redzer_ · 06-01-2014 04:12PM

tommy2bad wrote: »

And that's as good an example of ignorance as you'll ever see.
The OP referenced Leviticus and you jump to the conclusion that Christians and christianity are stupid. See where you went wrong?

But you see the religion is fúcking stupid, though. There's no difference between the nonsense it teaches and Greek mythology, well maybe Greek mythology being a far far more interesting fairytale.

Have nothing against people believing it, but nobody can deny the religion itself is a massive crock of shíte.

Muise... · 06-01-2014 04:14PM

_Redzer_ wrote: »

Have nothing against people believing it, but nobody can deny the religion itself is a massive crock of shíte.

the people who believe it would deny that it's a massive crock of shíte. (which is what I'd have against them.)

smcgiff · 06-01-2014 04:18PM

tommy2bad wrote: »

You'll find a lot of books in the bible, not just an old testament and new testament. Jesus was a Jew, but you knew that right?

And your point? Did you read the post I was replying to?

_Redzer_ · 06-01-2014 04:21PM

Muise... wrote: »

the people who believe it would deny that it's a massive crock of shíte. (which is what I'd have against them.)

If you're gonna worship someone, worship Thor.

Makes Jesus look like some skinny virgin. Oh wait..

Muise... · 06-01-2014 04:25PM

_Redzer_ wrote: »

If you're gonna worship someone, worship Thor.

Makes Jesus look like some skinny virgin. Oh wait..

Meh, I'd rather be worshipped. With "unauthorised fire."

_Redzer_ · 06-01-2014 04:25PM

Muise... wrote: »

the people who believe it would deny that it's a massive crock of shíte. (which is what I'd have against them.)

They're a delusional enough bunch really

krudler · 06-01-2014 04:30PM

Gyalist wrote: »

Polyester blend clothing existed in biblical times? I'm sure that will be of interest to all the people who have devoted years of their lives studying these topics.

Dats de joke..

God has a massive problem with different threads in clothing apparently , which for a supposedly omnipotent creator of all things is a fairly petty grievance.

Baneblade · 06-01-2014 04:39PM

smcgiff wrote: »

If you look up your Christian bible will you find the OT in it?

Also, Jesus refers back to the OT.

well he could hardly refer to the NT since it was written after his death, and the one superpower he did not have was time travel

Sleepy · 06-01-2014 05:32PM

efb wrote: »

Here’s chapter and verse on a more-or-less comprehensive list of things banned in the Leviticus book of the bible. A decent number of them are punishable by death.

1. Burning any yeast or honey in offerings to God (2:11)

2. Failing to include salt in offerings to God (2:13)

Since, I've never made any offerings to God, technically, I'm in the clear on these two... 0 points

3. Eating fat (3:17)

4. Eating blood (3:17)

Damnit, I like my black-pudding and my steak on the rare side. 2 points.

5. Failing to testify against any wrongdoing you’ve witnessed (5:1)

I'm no rat, another point brings us up to 3.

6. Failing to testify against any wrongdoing you’ve been told about (5:1)

Hearsay isn't valid testimony so on the basis that I'd refuse to use it, another point.... 4.

7. Touching an unclean animal (5:2)

Define "unclean"? The family dog who's been rolling in the mud? No doubt it happened... can't deny it. And we're at 5.

8. Carelessly making an oath (5:4)

Is this oath in the sense of giving one's word? If so, I've done that carelessly enough that I'm known as an easy touch for a favour so yep, hang me for that one too... 6.

9. Deceiving a neighbour about something trusted to them (6:2)

10. Finding lost property and lying about it (6:3)

11. Bringing unauthorised fire before God (10:1)

On the basis that I can't quite grasp the concept of authorised fire or deciving things and that I've occasionally enjoyed spending a fiver I found in the street I'm guessing that's another 3 points. 9

12. Letting your hair become unkempt (10:6)

I'll be honest, it's more rare for my hair to be kempt... 10

13. Tearing your clothes (10:6)

Wow, I was an evil child. How was I never sanctified with an exorcism?! :eek: 11

14. Drinking alcohol in holy places (bit of a problem for Catholics, this ‘un) (10:9)

Yep. Cans were had on the Cathedral grounds on more than one occasion. 12

15. Eating an animal which doesn’t both chew cud and has a divided hoof (cf: camel, rabbit, pig) (11:4-7)

16. Touching the carcass of any of the above (problems here for rugby) (11:8)

17. Eating – or touching the carcass of – any seafood without fins or scales (11:10-12)

Wow, you're getting fussier about food than my 5 year old here... 15

18. Eating – or touching the carcass of - eagle, the vulture, the black vulture, the red kite, any kind of black kite, any kind of raven, the horned owl, the screech owl, the gull, any kind of hawk, the little owl, the cormorant, the great owl, the white owl, the desert owl, the osprey, the stork, any kind of heron, the hoopoe and the bat. (11:13-19)

19. Eating – or touching the carcass of – flying insects with four legs, unless those legs are jointed (11:20-22)

Though to be fair, I'm probably not even brave enough to eat much of that last lot... maybe there's hope for me yet!

20. Eating any animal which walks on all four and has paws (good news for cats) (11:27)

TBH, I'm only missing this one cos I've never been to Korea...

21. Eating – or touching the carcass of – the weasel, the rat, any kind of great lizard, the gecko, the monitor lizard, the wall lizard, the skink and the chameleon (11:29)

Wow, thanks Dublin Zoo... the "touch and learn" wall has damned us to hell with it's bit of crocodile skin... 16

22. Eating – or touching the carcass of – any creature which crawls on many legs, or its belly (11:41-42)

Lobster? ****. 17

23. Going to church within 33 days after giving birth to a boy (12:4)

24. Going to church within 66 days after giving birth to a girl (12:5)

I've said it before God, you really have an issue with women, eh? Two dodged by right of being male.

25. Having sex with your mother (18:7)

26. Having sex with your father’s wife (18:8)

27. Having sex with your sister (18:9)

28. Having sex with your granddaughter (18:10)

29. Having sex with your half-sister (18:11)

30. Having sex with your biological aunt (18:12-13)

31. Having sex with your uncle’s wife (18:14)

32. Having sex with your daughter-in-law (18:15)

33. Having sex with your sister-in-law (18:16)

34. Having sex with a woman and also having sex with her daughter or granddaughter (bad news for Alan Clark) (18:17)

35. Marrying your wife’s sister while your wife still lives (18:18)

To be fair, can't argue with most of those....

36. Having sex with a woman during her period (18:19)

Okay, it's a bit messy in fairness but somehow sinful, seriously? ok, 18

37. Having sex with your neighbour’s wife (18:20)

How close do we have to live to be considered neighbours? 19

38. Giving your children to be sacrificed to Molek (18:21)

Who the **** is Molek?

39. Having sex with a man “as one does with a woman” (18:22)

Uhm, hate to break it to you but biologically, I just don't this is possible... or are you telling us that Christianity is pro non-vaginal intercourse now?

40. Having sex with an animal (18:23)

Uhm, ok. I can live with that...

41. Making idols or “metal gods” (19:4)

Just listen to some Floyd and tell me I'm wrong... 20

42. Reaping to the very edges of a field (19:9)

Wow, that's pretty much the exact opposite of the instructions I had during my brief stint as a strawberry picker when I was 12 but hey, ignorance is no excuse... seems kinda wasteful though, no? 21

43. Picking up grapes that have fallen in your vineyard (19:10)

Hold the press, I have a vineyard? Lemme guess, it's in Palestine and currently being tended by it's "legal" owner but if I let a Rabii chop off an inch or so and convert, I can claim it back?

44. Stealing (19:11)

45. Lying (19:11)

46. Swearing falsely on God’s name (19:12)

47. Defrauding your neighbour (19:13)

As for the love of Jaysus, you're just trying to catch us all out now... 24

48. Holding back the wages of an employee overnight (not well observed these days) (19:13)

Another escape on a technicality since I don't have any employees but definitely a weird thing to have a problem with...

49. Cursing the deaf or abusing the blind (19:14)

50. Perverting justice, showing partiality to either the poor or the rich (19:15)

51. Spreading slander (19:16)

52. Doing anything to endanger a neighbour’s life (19:16)

53. Seeking revenge or bearing a grudge (19:18)

Now if only the rest of your beliefs made as much sense as this we could sum it up as basically "don't be a dick" eh?

54. Mixing fabrics in clothing (19:19)

55. Cross-breeding animals (19:19)

56. Planting different seeds in the same field (19:19)

And here you go finding perfectly normal things insane again... 26

57. Sleeping with another man’s slave (19:20)

...ah, slaves are cool with you? Seriously?

58. Eating fruit from a tree within four years of planting it (19:23)

59. Practising divination or seeking omens (tut, tut astrology) (19:26)

60. Trimming your beard (19:27)

61. Cutting your hair at the sides (19:27)

62. Getting tattoos (19:28)

But I look **** with sideburns... 29

63. Making your daughter prostitute herself (19:29)

Wow, you really knew some dickheads, eh God?

64. Turning to mediums or spiritualists (19:31)

Surely you mean, turning only to your mediums or spiritualists? Or should we sack the Holy See immediately?

But taking you at face here, does their indoctrination of a child who was too young to question them count? Cos if so: that's me at 30 for having once had a child's innocence.

65. Not standing in the presence of the elderly (19:32)

I dunno, my elderly neighbours might get a bit weirded out if I refuse to sit down for a cup of tea... have you ever tried refusing an Irish granny who wants to make you a cup of tea? Seriously God, it doesn't end well... there'd be tears.... 31

66. Mistreating foreigners – “the foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born” (19:33-34)

Even a stopped clock I suppose...

67. Using dishonest weights and scales (19:35-36)

Can't argue with that either...

68. Cursing your father or mother (punishable by death) (20:9)

What if they deserve it? 32

69. Marrying a prostitute, divorcee or widow if you are a priest (21:7,13)

70. Entering a place where there’s a dead body as a priest (21:11)

Again, since I'm not a priest, I'm unlikely to fall afoul of these but are you now saying that it's cool to marry a divorcee or a widower if you're not a priest?

And doesn't number 70 kinda interfere with funerals (or if we're to be anal about it, most cathedrals due to the presence of their crypts).

71. Slaughtering a cow/sheep and its young on the same day (22:28)

Get off this one quite lightly... can't imagine it happens too often or would be a very good sign of husbandry anyway...

72. Working on the Sabbath (23:3)

73. Blasphemy (punishable by stoning to death) (24:14)

Now you're just being prideful God... you can't expect everyone to agree with you all the time or all of humanity to give 1/7th of their week over to exclaiming how great you are... 34

74. Inflicting an injury; killing someone else’s animal; killing a person must be punished in kind (24:17-22)

Didn't the young fella clear this up with the whole "turn the other cheek" stuff? Or are we back to "an eye for an eye"....

75. Selling land permanently (25:23)

How can something be sold temporarily? Do you mean rent? But if no one can sell land permanently, it falls to reason that no-one can have bought it permanently enough to rent it legally either?

76. Selling an Israelite as a slave (foreigners are fine) (25:42)

]
I'm sorry, which kind of Israelite? The ones who've lived there for centuries or the crowd the British gave the land to a little under a century ago? Tell ya what, since I'm no fan of slavery on a point of principle, I'll just accept no reprimand for this one...

Mammanabammana · 06-01-2014 05:49PM

Bible was written by men.
Men are fallible.
Men write what they think God would say.
Bible is not the word of God.
Bible is therefore not reliable as an authority on anything.
QED

tommy2bad · 06-01-2014 08:46PM

smcgiff wrote: »

And your point? Did you read the post I was replying to?

Not only read it, I wrote it.
In my infinite patience I'll clarifies my point. Muppet condemns Christianity and Christians based on a set of rules from another religion, Judaism. See my point now?
Lets tell the truth, condemning Leviticus is easy. Understanding whare it comes from and the relevance it had to the people of the time is the hard bit.
I have a feeling that a lot of the stuff we now consider sane and normal will seem rediculus to future generations.

The_Valeyard · 06-01-2014 10:22PM

Didnt take this thread long to get hijacked into a religion (Christian) bashing thread.

Micky Dolenz · 06-01-2014 10:32PM

nc19 wrote: »

Just goes to show how stupid christanity is and anyone who believes in it

_Redzer_ wrote: »

If you're gonna worship someone, worship Thor.

Makes Jesus look like some skinny virgin. Oh wait..

_Redzer_ wrote: »

They're a delusional enough bunch really

Mod

Don't post in this thread again.

If you wish to slag off any religion or it's followers, please do so, far from here. Maybe start a blog.

Please report any posts that may need mod attention.

systemicrisk · 07-01-2014 12:10AM

tommy2bad wrote: »

Not only read it, I wrote it.
In my infinite patience I'll clarifies my point. Muppet condemns Christianity and Christians based on a set of rules from another religion, Judaism. See my point now?
Lets tell the truth, condemning Leviticus is easy. Understanding whare it comes from and the relevance it had to the people of the time is the hard bit.
I have a feeling that a lot of the stuff we now consider sane and normal will seem rediculus to future generations.

Its completely off topic but arent the books of the bible supposed to be the word of god. An all powerful infinite being. If so surely his laws and rules as written in the bible passed on through prophets shouldnt be specific to a narrow window of time and a small region in the middle east. If this is the case then surely this is purely the word of man masquerading as the word of god and how so can we have faith in any books of the bible. I am in no way knocking any religion just querying your post.

efb · 07-01-2014 12:26AM

But there will still be people living in the 21st century in 4028...

76 Things Banned in Leviticus- how many have you done?

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