My 9 year old Son steals from me ðŸ˜Ÿ

Shell_ · 30-11-2013 8:01pm #1

..Hi everyone, I was unsure of which forum to leave this..
I'm in a terrible predicament here.. Today my son took my credit card and he used it to purchase €60 worth of Nintendo Wii points. (I think the points are used to buy games etc on the wii store). My issue here is that my son took my card and effectively stole from me. He knew exactly what he was doing as he is a very bright boy. He has stolen small amounts (€5) 2 or 3 times in the past. I'm heartbroken that he did this to my husband and I, not because of the amount of money he used but because he felt he could do that to us. My general way of punishing my kids when they are naughty is giving them time-out for a couple of minutes to reflect on they're behaviour. It always helps them to see that certain behaviour isn't acceptable.. Until today I have never had to think of another way to help my son via his behaviour.. My husband is furious and I am very sad. Somebody suggested I bring our son to the gardaí to have a wee chat. I don't know about that. I am just at a loss as to what do.. When I asked my son why he did this to us he simply replied "Cos I wanted to buy point's". I actually burst into tears, just couldn't believe he could do such a thing to us. As I said he is quite bright and well educated.. Can anybody, please advise me about what actions I should take..?? I really want to keep my son on the right path. He is generally a good kid and a very happy one too. Kind Regards -S..

Rushden · 30-11-2013 8:03pm

Take the wii off him

Shell_ · 30-11-2013 8:06pm

Rushden wrote: »

Take the wii off him

My husband did that already. Sorry forgot to mention that.. but is that really enough of a lesson about not stealing.. I don't know.. but thanks for your response. I appreciate it.. ðŸ˜Š

The One Who Knocks · 30-11-2013 8:09pm

How did he react when you took it?

Dubl07 · 30-11-2013 8:11pm

Rushden wrote: »

Take the wii off him

Sell the wii to recoup your losses. Ban all electronics for the forseeable including tv, radio, internet.

Blue Crystal · 30-11-2013 8:11pm

Hi Shell,

Dont worry, take solace in the fact your son has a successful future as a banker/property developer/taoiseach.

gubby · 30-11-2013 8:11pm

You need to make him understand how hard it is to earn money these days. (no matter how well off or not you are) could you give him a list of jobs to do with a "price" on each one and make him do them until the debt is paid off! It sounds like he really doesn't "get it" how bad this is. If you dont deal with this now it will be impossible to deal with it when he is 16+

Alactric · 30-11-2013 8:13pm

It's been a while since I used a wii...but I never remember it fully storing CC info. I always remember having to go through some process, how did he have your credit card info?

Blue Crystal · 30-11-2013 8:14pm

gubby wrote: »

You need to make him understand how hard it is to earn money these days. (no matter how well off or not you are) could you give him a list of jobs to do with a "price" on each one and make him do them until the debt is paid off! It sounds like he really doesn't "get it" how bad this is. If you dont deal with this now it will be impossible to deal with it when he is 16+

Or write off the debt without recourse, it will prepare him for his future as a banker/property developer/taoiseach/EU country.

Moonbeam · 30-11-2013 8:18pm

Blue Crystal wrote: »

Or write off the debt without recourse, it will prepare him for his future as a banker/property developer/taoiseach/EU country.

*mod note*
No unhelpful posting please.

GhostInTheRuins · 30-11-2013 8:20pm

Alactric wrote: »

It's been a while since I used a wii...but I never remember it fully storing CC info. I always remember having to go through some process, how did he have your credit card info?

That's a good point. Make sure the wii u hasn't stored the credit card details so he can't do it again without direct access to your card.

Alactric · 30-11-2013 8:24pm

GhostInTheRuins wrote: »

That's a good point. Make sure the wii u hasn't stored the credit card details so he can't do it again without direct access to your card.

That's not what I mean, I remember the Wii account system being archaic even at the time, I always remember having to enter my credit card details every time I purchased something. I'm saying the child must have known the CC info himself.

edit: Is this the original Wii or Wii U? If it's Wii U I think you might actually be able to get a refund by sending some statement to Nintendo saying your Credit Card was stolen (which it, sort of was?)

Mr. Tom · 30-11-2013 8:27pm

Might it be possible he simply may not comprehend the concept of money and it's workings? In my non parental opinion, I would humbly suggest explaining to him how money and credit works. Just a thought.

Chattastrophe! · 30-11-2013 8:27pm

You mentioned that he's stolen smaller amounts from you in the past - what did you do on those occasions?

coffee_cake · 30-11-2013 8:29pm

I think he just might not get the concept
Maybe give him odd jobs to do or get a family friend or neighbour to and explain the going rate - once he realises how long it all takes he might be less blase
It will also teach him a bit of pride and earning his own points - he might like that

goz83 · 30-11-2013 8:29pm

You say he is bright, but I don't think he actually understands what he did. He knows it was wrong, but not how wrong. Is it possible to recover the funds? Make sure he sees no benefit from this theft. Anything purchased with the card for the Wii should be deleted. In fact, I would agree with selling the Wii. It seems very harsh, but it would be a very valuable lesson and one he will not forget. It will hurt you doing this, but might just save him from going down that path.

Lennyzip · 30-11-2013 8:32pm

Cancel the credit card , good chance he could have written down the numbers for future use if he's as clever as you make him out to be ......

Aineoil · 30-11-2013 8:33pm

Hi Shell

Could you have a chat with him saying you understand that he wants to buy wii points but if he wants to buy anything else again he has to ask your permission to use your credit card?

Boombastic · 30-11-2013 8:33pm

Dubl07 wrote: »

Sell the wii to recoup your losses. Ban all electronics for the forseeable including tv, radio, internet.

I agree with this. Sell the Wii to recoup your loss. He is not responsible enough to have one

shaizlebiz · 30-11-2013 8:37pm

I do customer support for the Xbox, and trust me - we see this a lot.

Kids are simply taking their parents credit cards, or using the credit card if it's already attached to the user ID, and spending it on Microsoft Points (now simply referred to as Microsoft Change), the equivalent of Wii points.

What I usually tell the parents is, that they should always educate their kids on the importance of restricting themselves when browsing the console, or the internet for that sake. Numbers and money aren't anything but pixels on a screen, until you actually have it physically by hand. If you want to take it a step further and really teach your son a lesson he wont forget, you can open up a family fraud investigation, but this should only be used as a last resort if all reasoning with your son fails.

Paramite Pie · 30-11-2013 8:47pm

In my opinion, time outs need to last a big longer than a few minutes. When kids are left to "think about what they did", they're usually just fuming at their parents over the punishment (that's what I did as a kid).

Timeouts need to last longer in general. Also avoid making eye contact with your son for a while, letting him know how disappointed you are with him. This drives kids crazy and they will start to understand that your really, really upset.

Do all the usual parent stuff, only more detached. He'll pick on it, and will genuinely feel bad, even if he doesn't fully understand what he's done. If he has a favourite uncle or aunt, have them express their disappointment too. You'll be surprised how much influence they'll have.

Also change your credit card, and don't keep it where he can reach it. At 9, he's short so use that to your advantage. Finally delete his Wii account. So if you do give his Wii back, he has no online account.

Aineoil · 30-11-2013 8:48pm

Folks,
This little boy is only 9 years of age, roughly in about third class of primary school. He needs to be educated about credit cards, personal items, etc .

Punishment will make sure the next time he does wrong he won't tell. I'd keep the lines of communication with him open.

If you sell the wii, what will you do when he's 16 or 17, if he does something wrong?

Alactric · 30-11-2013 8:49pm

shaizlebiz wrote: »

I do customer support for the Xbox, and trust me - we see this a lot.

Kids are simply taking their parents credit cards, or using the credit card if it's already attached to the user ID, and spending it on Microsoft Points (now simply referred to as Microsoft Change), the equivalent of Wii points.

What I usually tell the parents is, that they should always educate their kids on the importance of restricting themselves when browsing the console, or the internet for that sake. Numbers and money aren't anything but pixels on a screen, until you actually have it physically by hand. If you want to take it a step further and really teach your son a lesson he wont forget, you can open up a family fraud investigation, but this should only be used as a last resort if all reasoning with your son fails.

I think there's a much bigger issue here, The Wii didn't even have a unified account system, (which was great if your Wii broke :pac:) So there's nothing to attach the card to? I checked Nintendo's site:

http://www.nintendo.com/consumer/systems/wii/en_na/ht_shop.jsp

Enter the credit card number, expiration date, and three digit security code. Select "OK" when finished.

"Select the credit card type to be used to buy Wii Points. The Wii Shop accepts Visa or MasterCard"

"Enter the credit card number, expiration date, and three digit security code. Select "OK" when finished"

This has to be done every time a purchase is made, I'm sure of it. Nothing could be stored locally, for the very simple reason that the console couldn't be resold or even dumped.

getting rid of the Wii is no good if he knows everything about the credit card

Dubl07 · 30-11-2013 8:54pm

Aineoil wrote: »

Folks,
This little boy is only 9 years of age, roughly in about third class of primary school. He needs to be educated about credit cards, personal items, etc .

Punishment will make sure the next time he does wrong he won't tell. I'd keep the lines of communication with him open.

If you sell the wii, what will you do when he's 16 or 17, if he does something wrong?

If he were nine and only in third class then he'd need remedial education. His mother says he's smart. A bit too smart.

Santa gave me a transistor radio many years ago. I loved it and listened to it all the time but couldn't afford batteries for it and family funds were tight. By summer, I got fed-up asking for new ones and put some in my pocket while shopping with my parents. They found them when I got home, drove back to the supermarket and asked for the manager. I had to apologise and hand them back. That was a hard lesson to learn at seven years old. Teach your young child properly and fewer issues will arise during later years.

Boombastic · 30-11-2013 8:56pm

Aineoil wrote: »

Folks,
This little boy is only 9 years of age, roughly in about third class of primary school. He needs to be educated about credit cards, personal items, etc .

Punishment will make sure the next time he does wrong he won't tell. I'd keep the lines of communication with him open.

If you sell the wii, what will you do when he's 16 or 17, if he does something wrong?

Actions have consequences. If he learns this at a young age, he will be an easier 16/17 year old to manage. If he knows his parents are a push over, he will learn he can walk all over them and the biggest consequence will be timeout. Children won't die without a wii.

LegacyUser · 30-11-2013 9:05pm

It seems quite obvious he doesn't understand the concept of money. Not one note or coin passed through his hand, I think the virtual aspect has probably meant the process of spending such a significant sum of money is lost on him. Do you think he would have taken€60 in cash if it was left on the table?

Sit him down, maybe with €60 in hard cold cash and try to explain how many hours, etc mammy and daddy have to work to make this much money.

"Because I wanted the points" isn't such a strange answer for a pre teen either. Many things are lost on them and seem insignificant.

Selling the console strikes me as being extremely severe. I would refrain from going down that road personally.

goz83 · 30-11-2013 9:09pm

Aineoil wrote: »

Folks,
This little boy is only 9 years of age, roughly in about third class of primary school. He needs to be educated about credit cards, personal items, etc .

Punishment will make sure the next time he does wrong he won't tell. I'd keep the lines of communication with him open.

If you sell the wii, what will you do when he's 16 or 17, if he does something wrong?

Get him thrown into juvi

I don't recall the OP saying that her son volunteered the information. In either case, he needs to be punished. This is not a situation where a simple chat will suffice. What he did was serious and the punishment needs to hit him hard and that means taking his games away and in this case, perhaps even selling the console if the money cannot be recovered.

I would hate to have to do this to my son (who is 10) but I know that it would be a sure way to make sure he never did anything of the likes again. If he misbehaves, some time out and taking away of game privileges works a treat, for the most part. I can't even imagine him stealing, because he knows money doesn't grow on trees. He gets an allowance, but his chores and behaviour need to warrant this. Makes everyone happy and my card hasn't been stolen either.

Shell_ · 30-11-2013 9:19pm

The One Who Knocks wrote: »

How did he react when you took it?

..Stangely he was calm and seemed unfazed by my husband taking it back.. I really wanna help him but I I'm not a believer in being cruel to be kind..

thanks for your response.. have you any suggestions..??

Tramps Like Us · 30-11-2013 9:20pm

I presume you've grounded him?

You have to punish him somehow, if he doesnt care that the wii has been taken then take something else.

Has he even apologised?

Shell_ · 30-11-2013 9:23pm

..Thanks everyone for posting.. I wont have time to read all of your advice in detail til tomorrow.. I wasnt expecting such huge feedback.. I will read all msgs tomorrow and I will correspond then..
Thanks again Guys..!! #overwhelmed with all the feedback..

-Shell

Dubl07 · 30-11-2013 9:24pm

Shell_ wrote: »

..Stangely he was calm and seemed unfazed by my husband taking it back.. I really wanna help him but I I'm not a believer in being cruel to be kind.. thanks for your response.. have you any suggestions..??

Shel, teaching right from wrong is like toilet training. Nappies are easier for a small child but to grow a child needs to learn how to use a loo. It's not cruelty, it's essential to his future well-being.

My 9 year old Son steals from me ðŸ˜Ÿ

Comments