25% of Irish men in their 20s have slept with another man

Pug160 · 15-11-2013 09:24PM

beks101 wrote: »

Thinking about sexuality in black and white terms is very naive tbh. It's not just the Kinsey Scale that will tell you otherwise, if you observe the people around you all throughout your life you'll see it's not always as simple as "100% straight" or "100% gay".

I've got a lot of gay friends, many of whom had hetero relationships during their teens - a few of them not even as a cover, they were genuinely attracted to their gfs at the time. They had sex with women, now they have sex with men, some of them switch over and back over time.

A close female friend of mine recently fell in love with a woman, after spending her whole life dating men exclusively. She's "straight acting" whatever that means, an absolute stunner and her new girlfriend is equally beautiful with a similar sexual history. Just two beautiful friends who fell head over heels for each other out of the blue.

Personally, I'm straight, but have had same sex encounters as have many of my female friends. I've always appreciated how sexually & physically attractive women can be, but have as yet, not been emotionally attracted or in desire of any kind of relationship with a woman. I can't imagine changing, but equally know that I'd be naive to think that it couldn't.

TLDR; We are all sexual beings. For many/most of us, that sexuality is on a continuum and not as simple as "I'm only into men or women and that will never change"

I agree with what you're saying to a certain extent. But I believe that some people are genuinely 'straight' and would never change. I'm aware that certain men are better looking than others, but I just have zero interest in experimenting. And I'm not saying that for any sort of macho reasons. Some women might be slightly different than men when it comes to relationships. If women build up a strong emotional bond with someone, it can make a huge difference. That's one of the reasons why a pretty looking woman is more likely to fall for a very average looking man than a handsome guy is with a very average looking woman. Just my opinion of course, and I'm not saying it doesn't work the other way. But I do think women are more emotional. By the way, we're not all sexual beings, but that's a different story - I'm just being pedantic.

Pug160 · 15-11-2013 09:29PM

poundapunnet wrote: »

I'd imagine that most of these experiences took place early enough in life though, especially in your teens friendships can be very intense, your hormones are everywhere, and it'd be easy for physical affection to turn into something else. I've a couple of male friends who went to boarding schools and they have some strange stories, the sexual tension amongst any group of adolescents is raging, if that happens to be a single sex environment I can easily see how things could happen between two straight people. when you're as randy as most teenagers I'd imagine that in the heat of the moment attraction mightn't be as important as the physical sensation. So for example boy a IS attracted to boy b, and after a certain point boy b could be likely to just go with it.

Even then, I'd still suspect there was some sort of attraction. Most straight males in that situation would just masturbate over dodgy magazines or even become attracted to the female form in all its varieties. But I still doubt that a straight boy or man could have his sexuality manufactured, as it were.

Galwayguy35 · 15-11-2013 09:29PM

mango salsa wrote: »

Yes

I feel sorry for his wife having no idea who she is married to.

Czarcasm · 15-11-2013 09:32PM

Pug160 wrote: »

I'm just being pedantic.

Pug160 wrote: »

I was just pointing out a technicality, one which cannot be denied. No need to patronise.

Pug if you're going to be pedantic, you should surely expect to be patronised...

Fairness, y'know?

Pug160 · 15-11-2013 09:35PM

Czarcasm wrote: »

Pug if you're going to be pedantic, you should surely expect to be patronised...

Fairness, y'know?

I'm just here for the discussions, Czar. I know it's a cliche, but if we all agreed on everything it would be rather boring.

Czarcasm · 15-11-2013 09:36PM

hotmail.com wrote: »

A lot of drunk straight blokes will take a blow job off a man or a woman. They don't care.

hotmail.com wrote: »

How do you know?

More to the point, seeing as you made the comment, how do YOU know?

poundapunnet · 15-11-2013 09:37PM

Pug160 wrote: »

Even then, I'd still suspect there was some sort of attraction. Most straight males in that situation would just masturbate over dodgy magazines or even become attracted to the female form in all its varieties. But I still doubt that a straight boy or man could have his sexuality manufactured, as it were.

For teenagers especially I'm not sure if that's true, you don't know one thing about yourself at that age, sexually or otherwise, you can get turned on over anything! And if someone sees someone of their own gender and thinks "here's a flesh and blood person, it's my only option for sexual contact right now, I'm going to go for it" I still believe that person could be 100% straight, or as close to that as anyone else is. That's not having your sexuality manufactured, it's having a sexual experience

beks101 · 15-11-2013 09:43PM

Pug160 wrote: »

But I believe that some people are genuinely 'straight' and would never change. I'm aware that certain men are better looking than others, but I just have zero interest in experimenting. And I'm not saying that for any sort of macho reasons. Some women might be slightly different than men when it comes to relationships. If women build up a strong emotional bond with someone, it can make a huge difference. That's one of the reasons why a pretty looking woman is more likely to fall for a very average looking man than a handsome guy is with a very average looking woman. Just my opinion of course, and I'm not saying it doesn't work the other way. But I do think women are more emotional. By the way, we're not all sexual beings, but that's a different story - I'm just being pedantic.

Yup, some people are 100% straight, but how can you say they would never change? How can you possibly know that? How can even they possibly know that? Sexuality is so complex and influenced by a wide range of variances, you just can never say such a thing with complete certainty.

And yes, women are typically more emotional, but I don't see how that could possibly make them more likely to 'experiment'. In my case, I have a lot of very very close female friends whom I have a very strong emotional connection with, but it doesn't make me in any way more physically attracted to them or likely to want to fool around with them. Any same sex encounter I've had in the past has been purely because I was physically attracted, turned on by what I saw in a particular moment and purely a sexual thing with no emotional influence.

Czarcasm · 15-11-2013 09:50PM

beks101 wrote: »

Any same sex encounter I've had in the past has been purely because I was physically attracted, turned on by what I saw in a particular moment and purely a sexual thing with no emotional influence.

"It was just this thing, in college..."

"Go on..."

A.Partridge · 15-11-2013 09:54PM

mango salsa wrote: »

Did you come out of the 1970s with that offensive "joke" as well?

You remind of some of the late late show clips with hysterical claims that gay men are obsessed with back passages.

Guess what? many gay men dont have anal sex.

Don't take yourself so seriously, this is AH

Pug160 · 15-11-2013 09:56PM

beks101;87525343]

Yup, some people are 100% straight, but how can you say they would never change? How can you possibly know that? How can even they possibly know that? Sexuality is so complex and influenced by a wide range of variances, you just can never say such a thing with complete certainty.

I can't. But we're not 100% certain about most things in life. But most straight people - at least in their own minds - would never change. I suspect most people who claim that they ''suddenly'' changed were either gay or bi all along. I do agree that sexuality is complicated though, which is why I mentioned transsexuals earlier on.

And yes, women are typically more emotional, but I don't see how that could possibly make them more likely to 'experiment'. In my case, I have a lot of very very close female friends whom I have a very strong emotional connection with, but it doesn't make me in any way more physically attracted to them or likely to want to fool around with them. Any same sex encounter I've had in the past has been purely because I was physically attracted, turned on by what I saw in a particular moment and purely a sexual thing with no emotional influence.

Not more likely to experiment, but maybe more likely to fall for someone over time and develop a relationship. I think anyone who ''experiments'' is most likely bi anyway, otherwise they wouldn't do it. Have you ever experimented with a man you didn't find sexually attractive in any way? I'm guessing you have not.

Annasopra · 15-11-2013 10:03PM

A.Partridge wrote: »

Don't take yourself so seriously, this is AH

I don't.

Czarcasm · 15-11-2013 10:28PM

Pug160 wrote: »

Not more likely to experiment, but maybe more likely to fall for someone over time and develop a relationship. I think anyone who ''experiments'' is most likely bi anyway, otherwise they wouldn't do it. Have you ever experimented with a man you didn't find sexually attractive in any way? I'm guessing you have not.

Pug you need to separate the sexual act, from sexuality. Just because a person experiments with another person of the same sex doesn't mean they were bi all along, they could be, in the same way that most people understand themselves to be heterosexual by default, identify by their physical gender by default, but then later they discover that actually they may be LGBT, even if they've never had sex, with anyone!

As you quite rightly point out too, there are I would say an unknown percentage of people who are asexual, or may identify themselves as asexual, and then might realise when they form an emotional connection with someone that they may question their asexuality, because that person whether they may be male or female, there's a chemistry with them that goes beyond just emotional and physical, a sexual chemistry!

As for experimenting with someone you don't find physically or sexually attractive, come on now Pug, I'm sure you've woken up the next morning to a girl and thought "Oh Gawd, she didn't look like that last night!", after she's left a big patch of fake tan on your sheets and mascara on your pillow :pac:

smurgen · 15-11-2013 10:38PM

hotmail.com wrote: »

A lot of drunk straight blokes will take a blow job off a man or a woman. They don't care.

I think you're very, very wrong. Straight men know exactly what they want and it's has nothing got to do with same sex encounters.I'm not trying to sound macho or anything but I'd be physically repulsed by having a sexually encounter with another male. Some gay men don't seem to understand this and think they can "turn" straight men,it's a dangerous way of thinking that could get them into a lot of trouble if they tried it on with the wrong guy.

clairefontaine · 15-11-2013 10:53PM

I think people get too hung up on classifications.

One swallow does not a summer make.

People are fluid.

poundapunnet · 15-11-2013 10:55PM

clairefontaine wrote: »

I think people get too hung up on classifications.

One swallow does not a summer make.

People are fluid.

Jeepers, phrasing!

Pug160 · 15-11-2013 10:55PM

Czarcasm wrote: »

Pug you need to separate the sexual act, from sexuality. Just because a person experiments with another person of the same sex doesn't mean they were bi all along, they could be, in the same way that most people understand themselves to be heterosexual by default, identify by their physical gender by default, but then later they discover that actually they may be LGBT, even if they've never had sex, with anyone!

As you quite rightly point out too, there are I would say an unknown percentage of people who are asexual, or may identify themselves as asexual, and then might realise when they form an emotional connection with someone that they may question their asexuality, because that person whether they may be male or female, there's a chemistry with them that goes beyond just emotional and physical, a sexual chemistry!

As for experimenting with someone you don't find physically or sexually attractive, come on now Pug, I'm sure you've woken up the next morning to a girl and thought "Oh Gawd, she didn't look like that last night!", after she's left a big patch of fake tan on your sheets and mascara on your pillow :pac:

We'll have to agree to disagree on this one, for the reasons I have already given. As for your last paragraph: yes, men do sometimes sleep with women they either thought they fancied or didn't really fancy much at all. But even in those cases there is something that stands out, like her womanly curves or some other feminine feature.

hotmail.com · 15-11-2013 11:10PM

smurgen wrote: »

I think you're very, very wrong. Straight men know exactly what they want and it's has nothing got to do with same sex encounters.I'm not trying to sound macho or anything but I'd be physically repulsed by having a sexually encounter with another male. Some gay men don't seem to understand this and think they can "turn" straight men,it's a dangerous way of thinking that could get them into a lot of trouble if they tried it on with the wrong guy.

That's good for you, but how can you speak for every man? How do you know what every man has done?

And gay men turning straight people gay...Jesus.

Laughable.

Some straight men are horny beeps and will take a bj off anyone when the're drunk.

(The lady doth protests too much, comes to mind).

Itwasntme. · 15-11-2013 11:13PM

I identify as straight and I can't imagine getting it on with a woman even though I am able to recognise and appreciate female beauty in all its forms.

And yet I remember a time in boarding school (in my teens) when I was violently attracted - I am not sure whether it was physical, emotional or both - to a couple of girls over the years. I did not act on it at the time but I have since (after leaving school) kissed a couple of girls I found attractive just to try it out and come to the conclusion that it really isn't for me.

Pug160 · 15-11-2013 11:18PM

hotmail.com wrote: »

That's good for you, but how can you speak for every man? How do you know what every man has done?

And gay men turning straight people gay...Jesus.

Laughable.

Some straight men are horny beeps and will take a bj off anyone when the're drunk.

(The lady doth protests too much, comes to mind).

I think you are confusing men having no standards when it comes to women to men who will sleep with anyone regardless of their gender/looks. Both are similar but they differ in one area: one is straight and one is bisexual.

up for anything · 15-11-2013 11:19PM

Deleted User wrote: »

The immaturity and sniggering of Irish people with regard to homosexuality knows no boundaries and still thrives

I think that is very untrue and unfair. I've seen very little sign of that in Ireland in the last ten years. Up till then I'd only known one gay person (I'd probably known more but not that they were gay). Since then it seems most have come out of the closet and I've rarely seen anyone snigger or be immature about about homosexuality.

Ireland strikes me as a good country to live in if you're gay.

dd972 · 15-11-2013 11:19PM

Right that's today's Gays thread done, I've heard that a family called McDonagh have bought the house next door.....

hotmail.com · 15-11-2013 11:21PM

Pug160 wrote: »

I think you are confusing men having no standards when it comes to women to men who will sleep with anyone regardless of their gender. Both are similar but they differ in one area: one is straight and one is bisexual.

Some, not all men. I'm not referring to every man. Just ask a gay man have they given a bj to a straight man. Most of them will say yes.

hotmail.com · 15-11-2013 11:22PM

up for anything wrote: »

I think that is very untrue and unfair. I've seen very little sign of that in Ireland in the last ten years. Up till then I'd only known one gay person (I'd probably known more but not that they were gay). Since then it seems most have come out of the closet and I've rarely seen anyone snigger or be immature about about homosexuality.

Ireland strikes me as a good country to live in if you're gay.

The use of the f word about gay people in Ireland is widely used and no one seems to care.

Too Tough To Die · 15-11-2013 11:26PM

hotmail.com wrote: »

The use of the f word about gay people in Ireland is widely used and no one seems to care.

Heard lots of people use the F word and consider none of them to be homophobic.

Femme_Fatale · 15-11-2013 11:27PM

up for anything wrote: »

I think that is very untrue and unfair. I've seen very little sign of that in Ireland in the last ten years. Up till then I'd only known one gay person (I'd probably known more but not that they were gay). Since then it seems most have come out of the closet and I've rarely seen anyone snigger or be immature about about homosexuality.

Ireland strikes me as a good country to live in if you're gay.

It's mandatory to go on about how "we" Irish are just so unsophisticated and immature, unlike our superior European neighbours.

Czarcasm · 15-11-2013 11:30PM

Pug160 wrote: »

We'll have to agree to disagree on this one, for the reasons I have already given. As for your last paragraph: yes, men do sometimes sleep with women they either thought they fancied or didn't really fancy much at all. But even in those cases there is something that stands out, like her womanly curves or some other feminine feature.

Pug if you actually wanted to be better informed about the whole thing, a trip over to the LGBT forum here on Boards even is a bit of an eye opener

I won't overload you but I don't know either if you've ever heard the expression "on the down low" (now the Wiki page references particularly black men but it's not unheard of among white men or indeed black women or white women!), and then, of course, there are heterosexual men who have relationships with pre- and post-op transexual persons, and if you get your head around that one, then you may be interested to read about "a THIRD gender" which was recently given legal recognition in Germany.

Maximus Alexander · 15-11-2013 11:31PM

Czarcasm wrote: »

You didn't read the article linked in the OP then?

Overall, 87pc of the 1,000 people surveyed said they were straight (82pc of men and 91pc of women), another 3pc said they were gay (4pc of men and 1pc of women) while 4pc were bisexual (4pc of men and 3pc of women)

What the fuck happened to the other 10pc of men?

Bad article is bad.

Czarcasm · 15-11-2013 11:39PM

hotmail.com wrote: »

That's good for you, but how can you speak for every man? How do you know what every man has done?

And gay men turning straight people gay...Jesus.

Laughable.

Some straight men are horny beeps and will take a bj off anyone when the're drunk.

(The lady doth protests too much, comes to mind).

Indeed she does...

Czarcasm · 15-11-2013 11:43PM

hotmail.com wrote: »

Some, not all men. I'm not referring to every man. Just ask a gay man have they given a bj to a straight man. Most of them will say yes.

So no different to straight men then that will brag about their "conquests" with all those women just falling at their feet, eh?

Gay men are gay, that doesn't mean they can't still be full of shìt.

25% of Irish men in their 20s have slept with another man

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