Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

leggo · 10-05-2013 09:40AM

Tetra wrote: »

"Life isn't short, it's actually pretty ****ing long. YOLO's gay. Skinny girls, you are NOT FAT. Every 'Decent Guy' you girls are looking for is probably in your friendzone. Guys, if you sleep around, you will end up with a slut. No, Lil Wayne, Drake and Wiz Khalifa are not ****ing philosophers, that's a quote on a stupid picture. Anyone who thinks they're cool wen dey tok lyk dis is actually stupid. #SWAG is not cool, it's shows how ****ed up our generation is. Guys have some respect, at the end of the day, drunk or sober, girls are still humans. Girls, if you put pictures like that on your Facebook, you WILL attract creepy ass holes, it's your own damn fault. You do drugs? COOL, so do 90% of the teenagers in today's generation, so stop telling everyone how awesome you are because you got sooooooooo high last night and can't even remember what you did, honestly, no one cares but you. If everyone would just stop and realize you're acting like complete morons or an imaginary bunch of 'Reality' T.V. stars, maybe, JUST MAYBE, we wouldn't be such a ****ed up generation."

hehehe

These messages are typically pretty easy to figure out what they're really talking about:

He just got put in the friend zone by a girl who posts slutty pics of herself online and is sitting there, watching that little panel on the side, as she likes stupid pictures of Drake and Wiz Khalifa posted by these idiot guys who look and act like Gaz out of Geordie Shore. So yer man here wanted to put up something deep and meaningful to see if she'd like his status.

When it comes to teenagers...it always, always comes back to them trying to get the ride. Seems like a smart enough kid, though, just needs to get to college and he'll be fine.

mackeire · 10-05-2013 09:58AM

Festy wrote: »

"Can't wait to get away from this town for a few weeks,no talent whatsoever"

A chubby girl going on holiday,take a good long hard look in the mirror love.

just because she's "a chubby girl" doesn't take away from the fact that you and all rest of the lads in that town are ugly as fcuk!!

Festy · 10-05-2013 10:00AM

mackeire wrote: »

just because she's "a chubby girl" doesn't take away from the fact that you and all rest of the lads in that town are ugly as fcuk!!

A girl who is 17 stone plus has no right to complain about the lack of talent in a town,so relax chubby

Edit - nothing against women who have a bit of weight but this one is dog ruff that's why I find it hilarious that she complains about the lack of talent,ROFL

extra gravy · 10-05-2013 02:36PM

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/482562_10151642461210482_24632011_n.jpg

:rolleyes:

Duggy747 · 10-05-2013 02:38PM

Fine tools of the trade for scammers, those "share this" crap.

kunst nugget · 10-05-2013 02:54PM

extra gravy wrote: »

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/482562_10151642461210482_24632011_n.jpg

:rolleyes:

Is that a penis on her hand?

petes · 10-05-2013 03:10PM

kunst nugget wrote: »

Is that a penis on her hand?

What sort of penis do you have? Or seen?

miamee · 10-05-2013 03:12PM

petes wrote: »

What sort of penis do you have? Or seen?

One that fits in the palm of a woman's hand apparently :pac:

kunst nugget · 10-05-2013 03:31PM

petes wrote: »

What sort of penis do you have? Or seen?

A very Buddhist one from the looks of it. What I'm seeing is the two veg at the top and the meat dangling down. Kind of. But seriously, what the fook is it?

Imagine if your penis was in your hand. You'd never get any work done…

EuskalHerria · 10-05-2013 03:38PM

A guy posted a picture of him and his girlfriend accompanied with, for his birthday, his girlfriend was the best gift he could ask for.

Her reply:

"ah soo sweet thank love not a good pic of me but if it flouts ur boat tats all tat matter ha ha:) ur best thing ever to me happy birthday love have a goog nit love me ans ur kids:)...xxxxx ".

Before you ask, in her 30's.

Czarcasm · 10-05-2013 06:48PM

EuskalHerria wrote: »

A guy posted a picture of him and his girlfriend accompanied with, for his birthday, his girlfriend was the best gift he could ask for.

Her reply:

"ah soo sweet thank love not a good pic of me but if it flouts ur boat tats all tat matter ha ha:) ur best thing ever to me happy birthday love have a goog nit love me ans ur kids:)...xxxxx ".

Before you ask, in her 30's.

A dictionary and a fisher price big button full size keyboard wouldn't go astray for her birthday.

coolhull · 11-05-2013 12:21AM

Czarcasm wrote: »

A dictionary and a fisher price big button full size keyboard wouldn't go astray for her birthday.

And the keyboard would have to have a 'SpellCheck' function

Tetra · 13-05-2013 09:56PM

"Looks like the date is set for this summer to have my son up here for a week. When he and Samantha get here ill have 7 of my 8 kids all in one place. God I cant wait for that"

And from a different person:

"Blimey my unfriend n delete/block button been on the go this morning .... sick of stupid jealous childlike muppets, pretending to be friendly n all the time sneaking behind my back !! People really shouldn't message others about me n think I won't find out.....
If anyone has anything to say, say it to me !! If you are not 'unfriended' you obviously know this is not aimed at you ...... ffin 'ell"

Person 1:you tell them xx
Person 2:whats this about? x
OP: inbox x
Person 3: Hope ur ok, ignore the mindless ignorant t*@*s.we luv ya!!! xxxx
Person 4:I say your awesome..now the truth is out .....
OP:TY

Tetra · 13-05-2013 09:59PM

"Lol at my mum: having been to, and enjoyed Iron Man 3, I suggested to her that she watch the first Iron Man. She said "I don't know, would it be as bad as Star Wars? Coz I don't think I could sit through another guy with a bucket on his head, breathing heavily"

Tetra · 14-05-2013 06:41PM

"I was in the queue for coffee, listening to the three guys in front of me complain about their girlfriends One guy was giving out that his girlfriend was getting her hair done again. The other guy goes "I thought you said she got her hair done a few days ago"...and the guy said "that was a wash and blow dry, now it's colour, apparently there is a difference". It was pretty funny"

Richard Hillman · 15-05-2013 10:59PM

"Happy birthday to my wonderful boyfriend <NAME> hope you have a great day babe love u to bits xxxxxxxx"

The chap is in prison for nearly hacking somebodies arm off with a machete and headbutting his ex-girlfriend with his baby in her arms. Wonderful boyfriend alright :pac:

Kotek Besar · 15-05-2013 11:53PM

Richard Hillman wrote: »

"Happy birthday to my wonderful boyfriend <NAME> hope you have a great day babe love u to bits xxxxxxxx"

The chap is in prison for nearly hacking somebodies arm off with a machete and headbutting his ex-girlfriend with his baby in her arms. Wonderful boyfriend alright :pac:

*Allegedly*.

Custardpi · 16-05-2013 12:00AM

Richard Hillman wrote: »

"Happy birthday to my wonderful boyfriend <NAME> hope you have a great day babe love u to bits xxxxxxxx"

The chap is in prison for nearly hacking somebodies arm off with a machete and headbutting his ex-girlfriend with his baby in her arms. Wonderful boyfriend alright :pac:

Ah but I'm sure he has a GBH GSOH. Whenever I see that kind of thing it reminds me of this.

Tetra · 16-05-2013 12:34AM

"so when they removed angelina jolie's breasts did they just throw them out...or i can totally see some crazy rich japanese guy having them smuggled out and made into a pillow..."

Richard Hillman · 16-05-2013 01:20AM

Kotek Besar wrote: »

*Allegedly*.

Not according to the justice system of Ireland

Richard Hillman · 16-05-2013 01:35AM

Richard Hillman wrote: »

"Happy birthday to my wonderful boyfriend <NAME> hope you have a great day babe love u to bits xxxxxxxx"

The chap is in prison for nearly hacking somebodies arm off with a machete and headbutting his ex-girlfriend with his baby in her arms. Wonderful boyfriend alright :pac:

This was after he pleaded guilty to headbutting his girlfriend

"swear to god dont believe anything ya read in the papers hate dirty skanks that make up such bull **** i have ever heard in my life making him out to be an animal ya dirty skank , just remember what goes around comes an believe me it will come around and it will hit you harder than you have ever known in your life and i can bet my life on tat you dirty low life skank all you are is a jealous dirt bird skank skank skank ."

"Making him out to be an animal" :pac: He was already in prison for attacking somebody with a machete when he was hauled up to court for this.

shruikan2553 · 16-05-2013 02:01AM

I love getting an update of peoples exams every 30 mins. "Lets be having you x exam" and how every exam is the hardest. Dont forget to let us know that you are taking a break after 5 mins of studying you crazy fun person you.

thesandeman · 16-05-2013 02:12AM

Kotek Besar wrote: »

*Allegedly*.

^^^^
*Future Mod!!*

PS: does anyone know how to put a smiley face using a G510? If I ask in the android forum they get all technical *(insert confused smiley here) *.

end of the road · 16-05-2013 02:23AM

Richard Hillman wrote: »

"swear to god dont believe anything ya read in the papers hate dirty skanks that make up such bull **** i have ever heard in my life making him out to be an animal ya dirty skank , just remember what goes around comes an believe me it will come around and it will hit you harder than you have ever known in your life and i can bet my life on tat you dirty low life skank all you are is a jealous dirt bird skank skank skank ."

from that status you can definitely tell her boyfriend is a jailbird, hopefully they won't be having any future jailbirds, harsh but lets be honest in this case its true

Marty McFly · 16-05-2013 09:33PM

This is brilliant just posted on facebook

So boy says girl lets climb the sugarloaf it will b good craic n it was me him n my mam got up n down no prob grt craic, then we try n find our way back to the car which was a ten min walk only to realise two hours ltr dat we r seriously lost n nowhere near d dam sugarloaf so boy says lets climb up this other mountain it will be grand one hour ltr we hav lost boy wer hanging on d side of d mountain n the mountain rescue helicopter is on it's way to get us. Fast forward another hour me n Paul have been airlifted into the helicopter n my mam has been airlifted by stretcher and we have landed down in tallaght hospital. after hot showers n food we r all finally home safe n sound ten hours latter, shattered n slightly mortified. So note to self never go walking with boy haha

EuskalHerria · 16-05-2013 09:51PM

Marty McFly wrote: »

This is brilliant just posted on facebook

So boy says girl lets climb the sugarloaf it will b good craic n it was me him n my mam got up n down no prob grt craic, then we try n find our way back to the car which was a ten min walk only to realise two hours ltr dat we r seriously lost n nowhere near d dam sugarloaf so boy says lets climb up this other mountain it will be grand one hour ltr we hav lost boy wer hanging on d side of d mountain n the mountain rescue helicopter is on it's way to get us. Fast forward another hour me n Paul have been airlifted into the helicopter n my mam has been airlifted by stretcher and we have landed down in tallaght hospital. after hot showers n food we r all finally home safe n sound ten hours latter, shattered n slightly mortified. So note to self never go walking with boy haha

Mountain rescue potentially endangered their own lives to save morons? Leave them up there or fine them heavily.

NegativeCreep · 16-05-2013 09:56PM

EuskalHerria wrote: »

Mountain rescue potentially endangered their own lives to save morons? Leave them up there or fine them heavily.

I doubt mountain rescue are that busy here tbf
Probably delighted someone finally needed them.

coolhull · 16-05-2013 10:19PM

NegativeCreep wrote: »

I doubt mountain rescue are that busy here tbf
Probably delighted someone finally needed them.

But if Mountain Rescue had seen that post before they went out, they wouldn't have bothered. No sane person would.

milltown · 16-05-2013 10:54PM

But did they find their car?
I need closure!

Tetra · 16-05-2013 11:58PM

Hate this:

"Just so everyone on my friends list knows that I completed this and I am done! Facebook has changed their privacy settings once more!! Due to the new "graph app" anyone on facebook (including other countries ) can see your pictures, likes & comments. The next 2 weeks I will be posting this, and please once you have done it please post DONE!!! Those of you who do not keep my information from going... out to the public, I will have to DELETE YOU! I want to stay PRIVATELY connected with you. I post shots of family that I don't want strangers to have access to! This happens when friends click "like" or "comment"....automatically, their friends would see our posts, too. Unfortunately, we cannot change this setting by ourselves because Facebook configured it that way. PLEASE place your mouse over my name above (DO NOT CLICK), a window will appear,now move the mouse on "FRIENDS" (also without clicking), then down to "settings", click here and a list will appear. REMOVE the CHECK on "LIFE EVENTS and "COMMENTS & LIKES". By doing this, my activity among my friends and family will no longer become public. Now, copy & paste this on your wall. Once i see this posted on your page, I will do the same. Thank You"

Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

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