Best excuses for pulling a sickie at work

lost in cork · 07-04-2013 02:59PM #1

I was working in a job that i didnt like very much so i had used up a lot of excuses for taking the odd day off,one time i had taken 3 days off and hadnt rang in ,as i was on a final warning i knew my excuse had to be good so i said that my mum had died ,a bit drastic i know ,has anyone else used any good excuses

Celly Smunt · 07-04-2013 02:59PM

My granny has died about 20 times now.

mloc123 · 07-04-2013 03:00PM

pmcmahon wrote: »

My granny has died about 20 times now.

Stephen?

Mully_2011 · 07-04-2013 03:02PM

Diarrhea

DrumSteve · 07-04-2013 03:02PM

Your head fell off.

Seachmall · 07-04-2013 03:02PM

"Hey John, I won't be able to make it in this week. I've actually been arrested and charged with distributing a large amount of heroin. Can you believe it?"

That beauty got me the rest of my career off.

Fr_Dougal · 07-04-2013 03:04PM

lost in cork wrote: »

I was working in a job that i didnt like very much so i had used up a lot of excuses for taking the odd day off,one time i had taken 3 days off and hadnt rang in ,as i was on a final warning i knew my excuse had to be good so i said that my mum had died ,a bit drastic i know ,has anyone else used any good excuses

That's pretty low.

I've killed off a few granny's in my time, but they were already dead before I used the excuse.

Stomach bug is always a good one too.

Islander13 · 07-04-2013 03:10PM

Stomach Bug the easiest for a nice 2 day holiday

Lapin · 07-04-2013 03:13PM

Tell your boss you got lost in Cork OP !

Grayson · 07-04-2013 03:17PM

Toothache. Unprovable agony.

dmc17 · 07-04-2013 03:18PM

Peter Griffin style...

"I can't come to work today because I was in a terrible plane crash. My family is dead and I am a vegetable. "

And if you get caught.....
"Remember that plane crash I had? It turned out to be gas."

Sin City · 07-04-2013 03:21PM

Tell your boss you snapped your.banjo string

Grayson · 07-04-2013 03:22PM

Sin City wrote: »

Tell your boss you snapped your.banjo string

love that film.

razorgil · 07-04-2013 03:25PM

Mully_2011 wrote: »

Diarrhea

when the bottom is falling out of your world take andrews liver salts, and let the world fall out of your bottom...

Legs.Eleven · 07-04-2013 03:28PM

I remember I rang in sick years ago after having been at a party all night and still pretty drunk. I came out with:

"I ate the chicken and now I'm sick. Bye."

Wouldn't recommend that one. Didn't go down well.

galwayrush · 07-04-2013 03:33PM

You're obviously not self employed nor good value to your employer.

Grayson · 07-04-2013 03:35PM

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

I remember I rang in sick years ago after having been at a party all night and still pretty drunk. I came out with:

"I ate the chicken and now I'm sick. Bye."

Wouldn't recommend that one. Didn't go down well.

I knew a guy in a similar situation. He called in sick, whilst off his nut on pills. He told our boss he was constipated.

He came in the next day and was sent home. Mainly because it was his day off. And so was the day before.

krudler · 07-04-2013 03:40PM

Period pains, the fact I'm a guy has never been questioned strangely

Legs.Eleven · 07-04-2013 03:48PM

Grayson wrote: »

I knew a guy in a similar situation. He called in sick, whilst off his nut on pills. He told our boss he was constipated.

He came in the next day and was sent home. Mainly because it was his day off. And so was the day before.

Hahaha.

sidneykidney · 07-04-2013 03:48PM

Anal blindness. My arse cant see itsself turning up for work today

endofrainbow · 07-04-2013 03:59PM

Guy rings in to say he's too sick to come to work today - boss asks *how sick are you * guy replies *I'm in bed with my sister - is that sick enough for you?*

antodeco · 07-04-2013 04:11PM

A great excuse is to say you had a headache and took viagra by mistake. It'd be inappropriate to have a boner all day.

Ted_YNWA · 07-04-2013 04:13PM

antodeco wrote: »

A great excuse is to say you had a headache and took viagra by mistake. It'd be inappropriate to have a boner all day.

That would only start a rumour about why you had viagra to start with..

antodeco · 07-04-2013 04:16PM

Ted_YNWA wrote: »

That would only start a rumour about why you had viagra to start with..

endofrainbow wrote: »

Guy rings in to say he's too sick to come to work today - boss asks *how sick are you * guy replies *I'm in bed with my sister - is that sick enough for you?*

Combine both!

DazMarz · 07-04-2013 04:17PM

"Good morning. I was in a horrible plane crash yesterday. My entire family was killed and I'm now a vegetable........ I'll see you tomorrow."

Chuck Stone · 07-04-2013 04:54PM

'I was in an argument'.

oppenheimer1 · 07-04-2013 04:54PM

galwayrush wrote: »

You're obviously not self employed nor good value to your employer.

And what is your point?

BaronVon · 07-04-2013 04:58PM

Auld lad I used to work with got 'locked in' the house.

The wife left for the day and locked the door, and took his key.
He couldn't leave the house for the day.....

......Allegedly. He was an awful spunker!