Best excuses for pulling a sickie at work

RealExpert

Take Monday off and walk into work on Tuesday morning and
keep a straight face and say "how did ye enjoy the bank holiday weekend" :-)

Lawrence1895

RealExpert wrote: »

Take Monday off and walk into work on Tuesday morning and
keep a straight face and say "how did ye enjoy the bank holiday weekend" :-)

But there might still be people out there, who rather take the Tuesday off, because they get bonus payments for the Bank Holiday Monday

Potential-Monke

In a previous job, i was 20 and wasn't starting until 12. I strolled over to the local GameStop and bought 2 games i'd been wanting for ages. I played half an hour of the first one, and the time came to go to work. I really didn't want to go, and it was a necessity that i continued playing the games. So i devised a plan.

I placed one of the games back into the paper bag, and headed off to work on the bus. A bit away from said place of employment, i gave the bag a tear, and punched myself into the side of the face 3 times, relatively hard. I wore a shocked look, and headed into work. I sat at my desk, didn't log on, and put my head into my hands. My line manager asked if i was ok.

I told her that i had been mugged on the way to work, and that they made off with one of the games (the receipt showed i bought 2). The manager became all sympathetic and told me i should go home for the day. I argued that i was ok, but kept the shocked look, and even forced a single tear. She told me to go home, and not to worry about work, and that i would get paid for it.

I returned home and had a savage day gaming!

Cupcake_Crisis

I got fired for coming into work 2 hours late because I had to drive my mam and my epileptic 15 month old niece to hospital. You all have VERY understanding bosses.

gallag

Eel stuck up bum.

Ted_YNWA

gallag wrote: »

Eel stuck up bum.

What kind of situation requires an eel in close proximity to your bum ?

Grayson

Potential-Monke wrote: »

In a previous job, i was 20 and wasn't starting until 12. I strolled over to the local GameStop and bought 2 games i'd been wanting for ages. I played half an hour of the first one, and the time came to go to work. I really didn't want to go, and it was a necessity that i continued playing the games. So i devised a plan.

I placed one of the games back into the paper bag, and headed off to work on the bus. A bit away from said place of employment, i gave the bag a tear, and punched myself into the side of the face 3 times, relatively hard. I wore a shocked look, and headed into work. I sat at my desk, didn't log on, and put my head into my hands. My line manager asked if i was ok.

I told her that i had been mugged on the way to work, and that they made off with one of the games (the receipt showed i bought 2). The manager became all sympathetic and told me i should go home for the day. I argued that i was ok, but kept the shocked look, and even forced a single tear. She told me to go home, and not to worry about work, and that i would get paid for it.

I returned home and had a savage day gaming!

I'm such a fcuking nerd. I read this and thought, which games (It was GTA wasn't it)? Then i thought PS3 or xBox. Then i decided it was the kind of underhanded deviousness that a PS3 player would be responsible for.

Grayson

A while back I came into work and saw someone sitting at my desk. It was a collegue and he tends to site there when I'm not around (better desk). Now i don't usually mind, but it was only the two of us in that day and there were plenty of places he could sit.

"What are you doing in my chair. Get out of it will ya".

"But you're not in today"

"Course I'm in. I'm not stupid?"

Turns out I was. I'd booked off a weeks holidays and came back in a day early.

So yeah, the exact opposite of the thread title

becost

Migraine is my personal favorite. According to Wikipedia, they can last for up to three days so I usually take either Thursday and Friday or Monday and Tuesday to avoid having to get a doctors note. :pac:

speedboatchase

Years ago I used what I felt were the most foolproof words in the English language: "Chronic diarrhea". My boss, however, was a right hardcase and I had to come into work a couple of hours later. Everybody looked at me funny when I came in so I basically spent the first hour sympathetically staring at them and whispering "Look, I don't actually have diarrhea..."

Dr Silly Bollox MD

Grayson wrote: »

I'm such a fcuking nerd. I read this and thought, which games (It was GTA wasn't it)? Then i thought PS3 or xBox. Then i decided it was the kind of underhanded deviousness that a PS3 player would be responsible for.

lol, to add a whole other element to it,

Xbox players better in bed than Playstation and Wii rivals, study finds

:pac:

B.A._Baracus

I've known alot of people who just came out with such mental excuses.

One girl once said her sister gave premature birth to her twins and were in a "serious condition" (reality was sister gave birth with no complications 8 or so weeks after the lie was told) :rolleyes: My mate works with one as$hole right now too. Over the last year has had to goto about a dozen funerals (always on mondays) and recently had 'pneumonia' :rolleyes:

Telling serious lies is the signs of a complete and utter prick. A total snake of a person.