What makes someone a failure at life?

SCOOP 64 · 11-03-2013 03:34PM

iDave wrote: »

Has anyone said being on the dole yet?

Of course. goes without saying, even if you have worked all your life,and finding it hard in these times to find work.

pickarooney · 11-03-2013 03:36PM

Never knowing love in any form.

clairefontaine · 11-03-2013 03:37PM

pickarooney wrote: »

Never knowing love in any form.

Is that a failure or just unfortunate?

Jumboman · 11-03-2013 03:42PM

Buying a house at the top of the boom.

IrishExpat · 11-03-2013 03:51PM

It's a hard one to answer as I can only give the perspective of a young(ish) 24 year old - and could change my opinion in the next few years.

But the general theme of just surviving and going through the motions until you pass on, to me, defines failure.

Personally, I'd want to leave something tangible behind me - even if the level is local, national or international. A charity, discovery, invention, movement? Something that would outlive me. Not even for fame, but to know that I created, or at least helped to create it.

I get annoyed when I hear the words 'I'm getting by.', or similar. Aim higher!

That's the theory, but the practice is obviously much harder.

Lollipops23 · 11-03-2013 03:57PM

I think people who don't take joy from life at all, people who sweat the small stuff and really let it bring them down and ruin their day, are failures.

I don't care what someone does for a living, as long as they're feeling happy and fulfilled about it. And ambition can come in so many guises; while someone might not be driven in their careers, they might be passionate about a hobby, or by ticking stuff of their bucket lists or by being a wonderful parent etc.

IrishExpat · 11-03-2013 04:06PM

Also - have only in recent months figured out, this whole 'be a nice guy, and the rest will follow' doesn't carry any water. I've seen a lot of people (myself included) effectively let opportunities pass them by, by not being aggressive, or fearful of offending others. "But what will they think of me?"

Won't go as far as saying being overly nice or quiet makes you a 'failure' at life, but it can speed up failure.

sbsquarepants · 11-03-2013 05:53PM

There is only 1 measure of success in this life and that is happiness - if you are happy then you're doing just fine, if you're miserable then you're not. Doesn't matter if you're walking to work (or to sign on the dole) in the pissings of rain or you're lying on your yacht in the carribean. If you aren't happy, you aren't succeeding in life and if you are, then you certainly aren't failing.

Celly Smunt · 11-03-2013 05:59PM

Failures in life are the ones who revolve around their jobs and call the folk with lesser jobs failures.I have an alright job and a good balance of what i think life is and i don't think we're here to just work.I'd rather have an ok job and travel the world,have a hobby i enjoy,people i love etc etc than have a huge salary and nothing to do with it or share it with someone.

And here comes the cheesiest line ever!!

"there's no such thing as failure,only different levels of success"

kidneyfan · 11-03-2013 06:00PM

Someone who puts themself before their children.

Gongoozler · 11-03-2013 06:06PM

What a depressing thread to read.

Greg123 · 11-03-2013 06:07PM

Meangadh wrote: »

People who make life more difficult for other people even though it could be avoidable. People like rapists, paedophiles, dole scroungers who make no effort to look for work, robbers, violent people, even people who just moan and bitch for no real reason... there are loads more I'm sure.

Basically if you screw up your own life that's your own choice, but make someone else's life a misery then I say you fail at life.

Having said that, I suppose some people end up in the above list cos somebody else in their lives failed them. Bit of a vicious circle.

Including padeophiles and rapists in the same example as people who bitch and moan for no reason... To me that just seems a tiny bit extreme...

11-03-2013 06:10PM

mikom wrote: »

Unfair.
Not going to be good for the heads of those reading that who are in such a situation, whether through their own choices or not.

In a country like Ireland, I would hope that most people would have done something interesting by the time they're 35. If they had opportunities to do something outside of their day-to-day lives but they didn't bother in their 17 years of adulthood, then I'd think it's a bit of a failure.

Mr Benevolent · 11-03-2013 06:11PM

IrishExpat wrote: »

Personally, I'd want to leave something tangible behind me - even if the level is local, national or international. A charity, discovery, invention, movement?

FFS, let people live their own lives by their own definitions. Being happy is a great definition or a successful life. You sound like you're not a fan of people - why judge them so?

IrishExpat · 11-03-2013 06:31PM

Confab wrote: »

FFS, let people live their own lives by their own definitions. Being happy is a great definition or a successful life. You sound like you're not a fan of people - why judge them so?

Are you sure you understood my post?
Even if you're reading between the lines, you're still way off mark.

Sergeant · 11-03-2013 06:35PM

Having a tattoo of the badge of a Premier League Football Club anywhere on their body.

WumBuster · 11-03-2013 06:35PM

People who use the term 'failure' as a part of their everyday vocabulary.

IrishExpat · 11-03-2013 06:43PM

WumBuster wrote: »

People who use the term 'failure' as a part of their everyday vocabulary.

Tony Robbins, is that you?

IrishExpat · 11-03-2013 06:44PM

Also, that mantra that parents and teachers used to reel out:
"It's not winning, but taking part that counts."

Is this mentality damaging in the long run?
Don't even enter into a competition unless you have your eyes 100% on the prize/finishing line.

--Kaiser-- · 11-03-2013 06:45PM

Someone once said
"be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity"

Fighting Irish · 11-03-2013 06:47PM

Three Seasons wrote: »

If you are happy and fulfilled you are a success in my book. If you are miserable and devoid of any passions you are a failure.

Saying that I don't look down on "failures".

Exactly!

I know people who are married, have a house and kids, and they're miserable as fook
I know other people who are on the dole with no real prospects and they're happy as larry

Fighting Irish · 11-03-2013 06:48PM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I wouldn't advocate sitting on the dole- but claiming someone who is happy is a failure is a little short sighted do you not think. Personally speaking i'd much rather spend my time with my family than working, i only work through neccesity. Working has rarely made me happy.

.

lol @ people who need to work to be happy(they're be bored otherwise :rolleyes:)

Meangadh · 11-03-2013 07:32PM

Greg123 wrote: »

Including padeophiles and rapists in the same example as people who bitch and moan for no reason... To me that just seems a tiny bit extreme...

Obviously it's clear which is worse- but I simply mean that if you go out of your way to make somebody's life a misery- when you have the choice not to do that- then you are failing at being a good human being. In my opinion anyway.

WumBuster · 11-03-2013 07:41PM

IrishExpat wrote: »

Also, that mantra that parents and teachers used to reel out:
"It's not winning, but taking part that counts."

Is this mentality damaging in the long run?
Don't even enter into a competition unless you have your eyes 100% on the prize/finishing line.

Win at all costs is as an equally undesireable mantra. Not a healthy thing to be drilling into young kids.Nothing wrong with being competitive but there's a line. . But losing an u12 soccer game, c'mon, it is the taking part that counts. Its kind of sad to see parents on the sideline berating their kids and acting hysterical when they are not winning.

santana75 · 11-03-2013 07:58PM

NoQuarter wrote: »

Not having a car over 23 and depending on others for lifts! Grow up you bums!

The first real automobile was created in 1885, which in terms of the history of the world isnt long ago at all. So by your logic everybody pre 1885 was a failure by virtue of not having a car. I have a car but it doesnt make me any more successful than the people I know who dont have cars. Some choose not to drive for moral reasons(roads too clogged up with vehicles as it is)some cant afford to drive as of this moment. Doesnt make them any less successful than the next guy. I would think measures of success are independent of material posessions.

feargale · 12-03-2013 10:53PM

NoQuarter wrote: »

Not having a car over 23 and depending on others for lifts! Grow up you bums!

How shallow!

old hippy · 12-03-2013 11:07PM

feargale wrote: »

How shallow!

Indeed. I can't drive. Originally for medical reasons but now I live in London, I don't need to. Public transport is fine.

sbsquarepants · 13-03-2013 10:23AM

Fighting Irish wrote: »

.

lol @ people who need to work to be happy(they're be bored otherwise :rolleyes:)

When we get come back off our summer holidays from work and talk innevitably turns to "how'd you get on on your holidays?" there's always one or two who are glad to be back "cos they were bored at home" WTF is wrong with these people?
Even if you aren't actually going away somewhere, you have free time, you're getting paid anyway - go do something for yourself for a change, spend some time with your kids or your friends and family, go get drunk with strangers in the daytime, catch a matinee or something, there is more to life than deadlines and whatnot. Fúcking imbecilles in my opinion. Anybody who is defined by their job is a sad, sad individual if you ask me.

mikom · 13-03-2013 10:26AM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

When we get come back off our summer holidays from work and talk innevitably turns to "how'd you get on on your holidays?" there's always one or two who are glad to be back "cos they were bored at home" WTF is wrong with these people?
Even if you aren't actually going away somewhere, you have free time, you're getting paid anyway - go do something for yourself for a change, spend some time with your kids or your friends and family, go get drunk with strangers in the daytime, catch a matinee or something, there is more to life than deadlines and whatnot. Fúcking imbecilles in my opinion. Anybody who is defined by their job is a sad, sad individual if you ask me.

Usually people who hate their home life and will be divorced as soon as they retire, if not before.

kidneyfan · 13-03-2013 10:32AM

Hating disabled people makes someone a failure at life in my opinion.

What makes someone a failure at life?

Comments