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sky2424 · 11-10-2012 06:29PM

This from the 'Joan Rivers ' thread just now-

"I agree with her. I think men have been and are spoilt!
What do you think? "

I mean on what basis? Wheres the reasoning? I can imagine the response if that was in the Gentlemens lounge "Women have been and are spoilt"?! TBH I find the thread to be pretty immature.

Anyway like I say I rarely post here and prob still wont in the future. Maybe the place is a little too fluffy for me but each to their own.

11-10-2012 06:52PM

sky2424 wrote: »

This from the 'Joan Rivers ' thread just now-

"I agree with her. I think men have been and are spoilt!
What do you think? "

I mean on what basis? Wheres the reasoning? I can imagine the response if that was in the Gentlemens lounge "Women have been and are spoilt"?! TBH I find the thread to be pretty immature.

Anyway like I say I rarely post here and prob still wont in the future. Maybe the place is a little too fluffy for me but each to their own.

And did you report the post?

Giselle · 11-10-2012 07:04PM

sky2424 wrote: »

This from the 'Joan Rivers ' thread just now-

"I agree with her. I think men have been and are spoilt!
What do you think? "

I mean on what basis? Wheres the reasoning? I can imagine the response if that was in the Gentlemens lounge "Women have been and are spoilt"?! TBH I find the thread to be pretty immature.

Anyway like I say I rarely post here and prob still wont in the future. Maybe the place is a little too fluffy for me but each to their own.

One poster made a stupid remark, no one agreed with her, and the thread was closed.

Not exactly the epitome of man-bashing now, is it?

Any more?

x Purple Pawprints x · 11-10-2012 07:06PM

To be honest, this men bashing thing is something I haven't noticed at all here.

sky2424 · 11-10-2012 08:52PM

Deleted User wrote: »

And did you report the post?

This isnt the first time I have read something like that and no I dont report the posts. Instead I choose not to respond to them.

In any event, this is a feedback thread and I merely gave my opinion which you and/or everyone else can agree with or disagree with. But just because you dont agree with it, doesnt mean its not valid and that instead of providing it, I should report posts. If you're only looking for positive feedback, then you might specify that in the thread title.

As I say its only my interpretation but in general I would find the place not as friendly as other forums and tbh this has done nothing but reaffirm my opinion.

All the best.

Gongoozler · 11-10-2012 08:55PM

I don't have any examples or anything, but TLL does have a bit of a reputation on boards for being a bit man-bashing, amongst other things.

Lucyfur · 11-10-2012 08:57PM

From the first page of the charter;

Jules wrote: »

If you have a problem with a post, for whatever reason, use the report post function. ( ) We try to read all the threads all the time, but a particular post may be missed for some reason, or we may assume you do not have a problem with it, however, if you report it, it will be brought to the attention of the tLL mods faster. And while we may not find it appropriate to act on it, please be assured it will at least be looked into.

Please, always report posts that you find offensive.

11-10-2012 08:59PM

sky2424 wrote: »

If you're only looking for positive feedback, then you might specify that in the thread title.

One might suggest that if you're only looking favourable reactions to your posts of complaint, you could say so at the outset.
If you have a problem with the forum, provide the ongoing feedback that's always been there: report the posts.

Ickle Magoo · 11-10-2012 09:02PM

Gongoozler wrote: »

I don't have any examples or anything, but TLL does have a bit of a reputation on boards for being a bit man-bashing, amongst other things.

I'd say that's more down to a certain coterie of posters who did/do their best to ensure that's the general opinion that's held about tLL and all this despite them having much more to say about the forum on other forums than in the forum itself...to the point other forums actually had to include tLL/other forum bashing in their charter.

I'm looking for reported posts regarding "man-bashing" and finding very few - none thus far that haven't been actioned...so examples would be great.

nkay1985 · 11-10-2012 09:56PM

I'm a human if the make variety but I've been using TLL since it first arrived so I'll share what few thoughts I have.

Overall, I think it's a great forum. I can see people's point about it being quite serious but that was a conscious decision when the forum was moved from Rec to Soc. I'm not sure whether that should be changed. I think light-hearted topics probably have better homes elsewhere on the site. I'd never be against humour being used when it's not inappropriate though and I don't think anyone is ever reprimanded for doing so.

I think the mods do a great job and feel the right people are chosen to do the job.

I reckon this forum's existence is justified a thousand times over by a thread like the Support for Victims of Sexual Assault thread. That honestly is one of the best threads I've ever seen on Boards. And, again, as it became obvious what the thread was morphing into, the mods kept control of a really sensitive topic very well.

My one negative is that threads often do decent into one argument between two people. I lose interest at that point. This happens in all forums, I guess, but if it could be handled anyway better, I'd love that.

I don't use the chat thread so can't comment on that.

As I said, overall I'd be very happy with how the forum is going. If I think of anything, I'll be sure to pop back in and say so.

Stheno · 11-10-2012 10:04PM

sky2424 wrote: »

I find that there is an element of men bashing here and so whilst I tend to lurk, I rarely post.
Sometimes, some of the threads or comments about men make me embarasssed to be female. In fact I would go so far as to say I find the Gentlemans club more respectful of the opposite sex.

Gongoozler wrote: »

I don't have any examples or anything, but TLL does have a bit of a reputation on boards for being a bit man-bashing, amongst other things.

You know I find that strange, and I can be found here posting in favour of men.

I was recently in TGC posting about seperation and divorce but I usually avoid it as there is a hardcore there imo who are very anti women and feminism and very firm in their views, I find tll a little more flexible

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I'd say that's more down to a certain coterie of posters who did/do their best to ensure that's the general opinion that's held about tLL and all this despite them having much more to say about the forum on other forums than in the forum itself...to the point other forums actually had to include tLL/other forum bashing in their charter.

I'm looking for reported posts regarding "man-bashing" and finding very few - none thus far that haven't been actioned...so examples would be great.

I'd agree with this, I'd be interested to see a poll somewhere asking whether men were more put off posting in tll or women more put off posting in tgc, even having a female pro men stance in tgc can be intimidating

daenerysstormborn3 · 12-10-2012 07:32PM

Have been a regular user of TLL for about 2 years now and I have never noticed any men bashing aside from the odd comment here and there purely to stir the pot and this is quickly dealt with by the mods. I am fairly shocked that people think men bashing goes on here to be honest because nothing comes to mind.

dfx- · 14-10-2012 01:39AM

Not read or experienced any man bashing either. Fora gain reputations that are undeserved/based on personal grievance.

Stheno · 17-10-2012 11:53PM

Some tiny part of my mind go thinking as part of the output of this thread, and I know I've had the conversation in some for before with someone, so not sure if it was discounted, or I dreamed about it (I've very active dreams

)

Anyway, one thing I took from this feedback thread is there is a very severe split of voters in terms of strict tll is.

I don't think it's strict as I post in politics and motors, others think here is very serious.

Is it worth having a women's rights sub forum? So seperate the very serious discussions such as the current one on NI abortion clinic, from the less likely to be conflictual subjects?

Provide a forum where you establish rules that entertain attitudes and opinions broader than the generic tll forum?

Already been done by having tll private, also done in politics with the cafe.

Ambersky · 21-10-2012 04:08PM

I find I go through periods of posting regularly and then phase out to simply dropping in every now and again to just read, depending on whats going on in my life and how busy I am. Sometimes I post as a kind of distraction, or something else to think about, particularly when real life offers some serious difficulty.

Recently I heard someone on the radio talking about how there was nothing to be learned on the internet and I was thinking about how much I disagree with that idea. I have learned so much from the posts themselves in TLL and I also think there is so much to be learned about human nature, women and myself personally in the interactions that go on here.

I think this is probably one of the more difficult forums to moderate because people have such different ideas about women today and what TLL is for and because there are people out there who occasionally think it is fun to try to disrupt things here
One of the marks of a good forum as far as I am concerned is on how different perspectives and opinions are allowed and encouraged.
Having a variety of serious and light threads keeps things interesting as far as I am concerned.

On the man hating thing I think people are not used to discussions from a women's perspective and seeing that as being ok and that pro woman doesn't mean anti man. I know some people have a problem with this and perspectives on the issue of being anti or pro men varies for the readers and posters here.
I accept the moderators have to make decisions on where to draw the line and some people may think that this forum is biased very far in the direction of radical feminism. I would like to say to those readers that I think it is more in the middle because being at the other end of the perspective on this issue I feel like decisions in some very particular circumstances would appear to me to be attempting to create a balance between men and women where there is inequality in reality, a kind of equality of oppression where it doesn't exist.
Im not saying this to argue or to create an argument I'm saying it to perhaps show those who think things are biased against men here that there may be more balance than they think between the extremes of opinion.

On the humour issue, I do like it when someone interjects with something genuinely witty into a serious thread but I haven't thought how to handle people just messing and disrupting things. I also like images, comics, gifs that are pertinent to the discussion, hadnt thought about that being a problem either.

On the reporting a post. I find that one difficult to get the hang of but maybe that's just me. Reporting a post feels like telling on someone and not dealing with the issue myself.
If the post is directed at another poster and I respond to it that's back seat modding, correct?
If the post is addressed to me and I have a problem with it what kind of a problem can I deal with on thread and what should I report.

Ellsbells · 23-11-2012 06:25PM

I really think the Suvita thread should be closed. No one, other than pro abortionists are allowed have a view or they are jumped on. There is a large bullying element in the thread

23-11-2012 06:43PM

I don't think people disagreeing with you constitutes bullying or warrants a thread being closed

Posy · 23-11-2012 06:50PM

Ellsbells wrote: »

I really think the Suvita thread should be closed. No one, other than pro abortionists are allowed have a view or they are jumped on. There is a large bullying element in the thread

As long as you report any posts you feel are 'bullying' in nature I'm sure the issue will be checked out.

LizT · 23-11-2012 06:51PM

Ellsbells wrote: »

I really think the Suvita thread should be closed. No one, other than pro abortionists are allowed have a view or they are jumped on. There is a large bullying element in the thread

If you think there are any post that bully other users, report them. The mods of this forum are some of the quickest to react on boards, IMO they do a difficult job well.

If you dislike people disagreeing with you, stop posting in the thread and unsubscribe from it, don't ask for it to be shut down.

Ellsbells · 23-11-2012 07:23PM

It's not about them disagreeing with me, it's that no one can disagree with them.

LizT · 23-11-2012 07:25PM

Ellsbells wrote: »

It's not about them disagreeing with me, it's that no one can disagree with them.

How so? People are perfectly entitled to debate and argue their point. With such a sensitive issue, it's unlikely that either side will back down, doesn't mean it shouldn't be discussed.

Savita's case in unlike anything we've seen in this country in recent years, it's a very relevant issue for all women, I don't see why the thread should be closed down.

Stheno · 23-11-2012 07:27PM

LizT wrote: »

How so? People are perfectly entitled to debate and argue their point. With such a sensitive issue, it's unlikely that either side will back down, doesn't mean it shouldn't be discussed.

Savita's case in unlike anything we've seen in this country in recent years, it's a very relevant issue for all women, I don't see why the thread should be closed down.

Exactly, imo there are some very strong and sometimes distasteful opinions being posted on that thread by extremes of both sides, yet there doesn't seem to be any breach of any charter rules, attacking of posters etc.

Chimpokomon · 23-11-2012 07:31PM

I've said it before and I'll say it again: pro-abortion is apparently the only acceptable viewpoint in this forum. And yes, I am using the phrase pro-abortion, since the phrase anti-choice has been bandied about so freely on that thread.

23-11-2012 07:34PM

Chimpokomon wrote: »

I've said it before and I'll say it again: pro-abortion is apparently the only acceptable viewpoint in this forum. And yes, I am using the phrase pro-abortion, since the phrase anti-choice has been bandied about so freely on that thread.

What makes you think it's not "acceptable"? A lot of us happen to be in agreement on the issue, that doesn't mean you're not "acceptable". You haven't been infracted or banned or stopped from posting, nor had insults flung at you that I can see. It's an emotive issue for a lot of people, and of course they're going to argue their side passionately, just as you have every right to argue yours and be heard.

Ellsbells · 23-11-2012 08:23PM

Chimpokomon wrote: »

I've said it before and I'll say it again: pro-abortion is apparently the only acceptable viewpoint in this forum. And yes, I am using the phrase pro-abortion, since the phrase anti-choice has been bandied about so freely on that thread.

I agree and I was told in no uncertain terms that pro abortion was not an acceptable phrase.

Am just going to bow out of it as unless you are pro abortion or pro 'choice' you have no place on that thread.

Princess Peach · 23-11-2012 09:23PM

The phrase pro abortion always makes me laugh.

Abortions for all!

LizT · 23-11-2012 09:29PM

Princess Peach wrote: »

The phrase pro abortion always makes me laugh.

Abortions for all!

Miniature flags for some.

Ellsbells · 23-11-2012 09:32PM

Princess Peach wrote: »

The phrase pro abortion always makes me laugh.

Abortions for all!

It actually means being pro legislation for abortion

Das Kitty · 23-11-2012 09:35PM

Ellsbells wrote: »

It actually means being pro legislation for abortion

To you, maybe.

Ellsbells · 23-11-2012 09:39PM

Das Kitty wrote: »

To you, maybe.

Yeah me and the editor of the Merriam-Webster dictionary

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