We want your feedback

First of all, sorry for the delay in getting this one started, we wanted to ensure a full moderator team was on board and that's happened recently with our latest additions; Twee. and Lucyfur

*******

tLL was set up as a forum for the lady posters of Boards to discuss topics pertinent to them, from a female perspective - that isn't up for debate. This feedback is for posters (contributing posters in the main!) to get a chance to voice their concerns, irritations, thoughts about how the forum is operating, what direction the forum is going in and what direction they would like to see the forum go in.

So in short, no posts defending the use of whataboutery, no posts demanding a move away from tLL being aimed at and for lady posters to discuss topics from their perspective, etc.

Also, there are ways and means of getting your point across without being nasty - we'd hope all feedback and responses to that feedback are constructive and, if possible, evidenced.

Thanks

Ickle Magoo, Lucyfur, Rainbow Kirby, Twee., whoopsadaisydoodles, wibbs

Ellsbells

Thanks. I think women who are parents should be able to talk about it here just as much as any other topic. Do we move the thread on periods just because some women have gone through menopause? There is a definite trend towards villifying women who have kids and its becoming wearing..

Stench Blossoms

I think because there is a forum for Parenting already that those kind of discussions would be more appropriate there?

Just because I am a woman doesn't mean I have any interest in kids.

Ella

Ellsbells wrote: »

Thanks. I think women who are parents should be able to talk about it here just as much as any other topic. Do we move the thread on periods just because some women have gone through menopause? There is a definite trend towards villifying women who have kids and its becoming wearing..

You've been told this over and over. There is a parenting forum. This is the ladies lounge and we all get periods at some stage so that thread belongs in here a hell of a lot more than a thread about parents/ kids.

eviltwin

There is clearly no place in here for a "what nappies do you use" style thread but I can't see the thread that was put up about TV3 in Parenting either.

Mods could you clarify exactly what is okay to discuss in relation to children? Its a huge part of who many of us are and it would be nice to be able to talk about it without derision.

KamiKazeKitten

We don't all have to be interested in every single topic that pops up in tLL.

My suggestion would be, if you're not interested in a thread, just don't bother with it.
Plenty of women have children or would be interested in talking about motherhood, leave 'em at it.

eviltwin

And if you post a topic on motherhood you have to expect that parents will post on it! There are some massive chips on shoulders in LL, if someone having kids is so offensive don't start topics on the subject or maybe tailor it to childless women if those are the views you want.

I don't think it's very constructive to accuse everyone of saying parents are offensive, not in the least. I have never seen anyone even come close to implying or stating that.

Honey-ec

eviltwin wrote: »

And if you post a topic on motherhood you have to expect that parents will post on it! There are some massive chips on shoulders in LL, if someone having kids is so offensive don't start topics on the subject or maybe tailor it to childless women if those are the views you want.

I've no problem with threads such as the one about Mitt Romney's wife, or the "Most Important Thing You'll Ever Do" one, as they're relevant discussions about the perceived link between femininity and motherhood.

However, I don't think tLL is the place for general dicussions on mothering, if that makes sense.

Ella

Ok, let me make my point clearer. If i wanted to talk about football I'd go to that forum. If i wanted to talk about politics I'd go there. Why should motherhood be in here and not the parenting forum? If motherhood threads are allowed in here i have a fear of every second thread being about just that. Instead of general Ladies issues.

AhInFairness

I once modded this forum (in my previous existence on this site) and the overriding principle of the forum was that anything could be discussed from a female point of view. I find it really sad that posters here are annoyed at threads about children/motherhood and I find it extremely galling that people are essentially being told, by other non-mod posters, to take their discussion elsewhere. What ever happened to 'if you've no interest in the topic don't read the thread.'?

TLL has always been a safe place for women to talk about things from their point of view, and that of course will include having children for some posters. Child-free threads are accommodated in this forum so why not the other perspective?

I have to say, if the current moderaters decide threads on having children aren't welcome in this forum it would be an absolute disgrace and I genuinely hope it doesn't happen.

Ellsbells

Its not the same. Parenting is more information based. I think if a topic relates to women then it should be open for discussion in TLL. If I dont have an interest in a thread I dont wade in and ask for it to be moved, I just ignore it....

I agree with the last poster, if you cant discuss bring a mother in TLL then I object to people talking about hobbies and relationships (as there is a Relationships forum) and so on.... Are you going to stop the ;
'where did you meet your other half threads' cos some people are single. Its nuts!!!

Das Kitty

Ella wrote: »

Ok, let me make my point clearer. If i wanted to talk about football I'd go to that forum. If i wanted to talk about politics I'd go there. Why should motherhood be in here and not the parenting forum? If motherhood threads are allowed in here i have a fear of every second thread being about just that. Instead of general Ladies issues.

But aspects of politics and sports pertinent to women are discussed here. There are certain things about parenting that are woman-centric. For example, breastfeeding and how it's viewed by society and how that affects us.

When I had my kid, my conflict between my knowledge of myself as a person and the apparent "human factory" I had become was something I wanted to talk about. To other women, women who had been through it and those who hadn't.

Yes, I think parenting tips and issues that affect both genders equally should be in the parenting forum. But there are aspects of parenthood that are "womens' issues."

woodchuck

Would one big megathread or else a subforum on mothering/motherhood be an idea? I've no interest in kids so just wouldn't really read any threads about them, but I wouldn't want to see every 2nd thread to be about it either. But I do think it has a place here (within reason; I trust the mods to move threads to parenting forum as appropriate).

Ella

I get that, Das. But it seems that the same posters keep posting/starting threads on motherhood and wanting a pat on the back. It feels like sometimes in here us "childless" ladies are not as important. I work too, i work damn hard. I dont expect a pat on the back.

Anyway i'm totally going off topic. I've said my piece on the motherhood threads.

/btw i love all the kids i know I'm not a total witch.

I have no problem with motherhood threads in here. Different issues affect us all as women, whether it's politics, sport, motherhood.
I do think we need to call a truce though between both entrenched camps.
If we feel besieged on all sides by media or family etc telling us we have to be mothers or we're useless, we can discuss that without necessarily having to be told every time that we have a chip on our shoulder and get over it and that we somehow think being a mother is offensive.
If mothers want to post about motherhood issues and the exact opposite and things like DK's example of "me as a person vs me as a mother", we won't go saying "well we're not all mothers you know".
There is overlap but maybe we can agree on stuff like that.

meeeeh

I think we should be allowed to discuss whatever (and motherhood is just one of the subjects) from female point of view. I might find all the discussions on violence against women, female safety etc a bit boring but I'm not complaining that not all of us were the victims of some kind of violence or want to discuss it. There are enough posters here that want those subjects discussed so why not talk about them. However when somebody is looking for a practical advice on subjects that are better covered in other forums (parenting, personal issues, fashion, literature...) the topic should be moved. But even if half of the threads here are about parenthood or relationships or sport or violence against women, you can still ignore those and participate in the ones that interest you.

It's not like there is a limited amount of posts available and if they are all written about parenting, there is nothing left for other threads.

Das Kitty

Ella wrote: »

I get that, Das. But it seems that the same posters keep posting/starting threads on motherhood and wanting a pat on the back. It feels like sometimes in here us "childless" ladies are not as important. I work too, i work damn hard. I dont expect a pat on the back.

See that I don't understand.

Like, I see the thread about the couch to 10k and I think to myself, fair play, but you'll never see me doing that. I don't feel like I'm being treated as lesser because people are doing that and giving themselves kudos.

I do get that running doesn't have the generations oppressive presumption behind it. But if people want to take pride in parenting, it shouldn't lessen or threaten any other person's pride in their lives and what they do.

Ella

Das Kitty wrote: »

See that I don't understand.

Like, I see the thread about the couch to 10k and I think to myself, fair play, but you'll never see me doing that. I don't feel like I'm being treated as lesser because people are doing that and giving themselves kudos.

I do get that running doesn't have the generations oppressive presumption behind it. But if people want to take pride in parenting, it shouldn't lessen or threaten any other person's pride in their lives and what they do.

Just because you dont see it, doesnt mean some posters dont do it. There have been quite a few posters in here who have made me (and others) feel like that.

Ellsbells

Ella wrote: »

Just because you dont see it, doesnt mean some posters dont do it. There have been quite a few posters in here who have made me (and others) feel like that.

For example??

rainbow kirby

Ellsbells wrote: »

For example??

Mod: She doesn't have to name names. This is a general forum feedback thread, not a witch hunt.

Links234

to be honest, I think it's very important to have a broad topic base on the ladies lounge, I look at it as basically a safe space (or rather safe-ish, I know some folks have their issues with the place and I don't want to dismiss that either) where we are free to talk of things through our perspective lens. if we whittle it down to stuff that has to directly relates to womanhood rather than just general topics from women's perspectives, it doesn't leave a whole lot does it? like for example that going to concerts by yourself thread, well couldn't that easily be in the music section? you could completely strip down the forum in that way

eviltwin

Ella wrote: »

I get that, Das. But it seems that the same posters keep posting/starting threads on motherhood and wanting a pat on the back. It feels like sometimes in here us "childless" ladies are not as important. I work too, i work damn hard. I dont expect a pat on the back.

Anyway i'm totally going off topic. I've said my piece on the motherhood threads.

/btw i love all the kids i know I'm not a total witch.

The two most recent threads about motherhood - Ann Romney and TV3 - were posted by childless women.

Ella

eviltwin wrote: »

The two most recent threads about motherhood - Ann Romney and TV3 - were posted by childless women.

Did you miss the part in my post where i put post/start threads?

Anyway once again, i've said my bit on this topic. I'll pop back in if something else gets thrown in this thread

g'em

Sometimes, when I go through periods of being intensely passionate about something, I tend to talk about it quite a lot. It's important to me so why wouldn't I? But my friends and loved ones know me well enough that if they feel I'm talking about it too much, they gently try to change the subject. If that doesn't work they just tell me to shut up. Usually I don't realise I've been talking about it as much as I have and I'm glad of the heads up.

Subjects in tLL will often crop up in fashions - abortion will be the topic du jour one week, sexism in the workplace the next, threads about what you adore/hate/wish for in your partner the week after that. Every topic is entitled to have its day if there are willing posters without fear of being told their topic is silly or unrepresentative of women.

BUT when the day for that topic passes, let it go for a bit. If someone suggests there are too many of one topic then it's only manners to go, "ok, that's fair enough, time for a new conversation starter". Anything more complicated than that is a waste of energy; have some respect for fellow posters.

KamiKazeKitten

As Links and others have said, a broad topic base is important for tLL imo. If nothing else, it'll help keep traffic for the forum up, as different people are interested in different things.

I agree of course that "how to get a crying baby to sleep" etc are obviously more suited to Parenting and should be sent there. Likewise with "what matches this dress?" being scooted off to F&A. But I think threads about motherhood and it's effect on women aren't out of place here.

Some women have children, and they are an important part of their lives. Some don't but want to. Some don't want any. Such are the wonders of the world, that we're not all identikit creatures. And as we're free to make these choices, we should be free to discuss how our choices have impacted us, no?

Take a look at one of the first sentences from the charter. "This forum is for the discussion of topics from a woman's point of view."
Different women have different experiences. If you can't relate to something or just have no interest in it, skip over it! And if you'd prefer to talk about something else, there's always that little New Thread button to click on.

I think I've probably said my 2c on the motherhood thing, I'll jump back in if something else pops up.

AhInFairness

Ella wrote: »

Das Kitty wrote: »

See that I don't understand.

Like, I see the thread about the couch to 10k and I think to myself, fair play, but you'll never see me doing that. I don't feel like I'm being treated as lesser because people are doing that and giving themselves kudos.

I do get that running doesn't have the generations oppressive presumption behind it. But if people want to take pride in parenting, it shouldn't lessen or threaten any other person's pride in their lives and what they do.

Just because you dont see it, doesnt mean some posters dont do it. There have been quite a few posters in here who have made me (and others) feel like that.

So report the posts. Otherwise don't read threads that you have no interest in. You, and others, should most definitely not be dictating what can be discussed in here and as someone who has been on this site for a very long time I find that attitude utterly offensive.

The ethos off the forum hasn't changed since it was created - a safe place for female posters to discuss topics from a female perspective.

It's bad enough having to deal with the 'what about men' rubbish without having other women tell some that their opinion isn't welcome in the forum. It's actually extremely depressing.

Ella

AhInFairness wrote: »

So report the posts. Otherwise don't read threads that you have no interest in. You, and others, should most definitely not be dictating what can be discussed in here and as someone who has been on this site for a very long time I find that attitude utterly offensive.

I'm sorry, did you not read the thread topic? I was giving MY feedback. I too have been on this site a very long time so dont think you're talking to some noob who doesnt know the lay of the land! I find your post very offensive and very condesending!

AhInFairness wrote: »

The ethos off the forum hasn't changed since it was created - a safe place for female posters to discuss topics from a female perspective.

I agree.

AhInFairness wrote: »

It's bad enough having to deal with the 'what about men' rubbish without having other women tell some that their opinion isn't welcome in the forum. It's actually extremely depressing.

Again, check out the thread topic. Feedback, just in case you didnt get that. I gave my feedback. You on the other hand are attacking me for giving my feedback.

Ickle Magoo

Folks,

The whole point of this thread is to get loungers views on where the forum is and where it is going.

Parenting threads are one topic that has been highlighted numerous times and that is something we would like explored - that isn't going to happen if posters take it upon themselves to unilaterally declare how such threads will be dealt with or dismiss concerns.

If posters want threads dealt with differently, then this is the very thread to discuss that/make that point.

Cheers.

eviltwin

AhInFairness wrote: »

So report the posts. Otherwise don't read threads that you have no interest in. You, and others, should most definitely not be dictating what can be discussed in here and as someone who has been on this site for a very long time I find that attitude utterly offensive.

The ethos off the forum hasn't changed since it was created - a safe place for female posters to discuss topics from a female perspective.

It's bad enough having to deal with the 'what about men' rubbish without having other women tell some that their opinion isn't welcome in the forum. It's actually extremely depressing.

Sometimes its not as easy as that though, there was a thread a while back about this, about how some people don't post because of a general vibe about a thread. I don't post on somethings because I am afraid of being picked apart for not having anything other than a passing knowledge of a subject. So I can see why some posters feel certain threads are no go without being able to report specific posts if that makes sense.

On another point I know we can't name threads or posts but I would always welcome a heads up if anyone felt I was posting in a way that intimidated anyone. Its not something I would ever do intentionally but when you feel passionate about something you can lose the run of yourself a bit

jaja321

As someone who is not a mother, I have absolutely no problem at all with issues relating to being a mother being discussed here. Certain topics would be more relevant here instead of the parenting forum as they are from a female perspective. I've also never felt that I'm not as important as a childless woman to those that have children - that's my personal experience. I wouldn't like to see a situation whereby these issues could not be discussed - I think that would be grossly unfair to those who wish to discuss them. Anything being discussed from a female perspective should be fair game and if I don't feel like reading a thread because of its content, I won't.

AhInFairness

Ella, I did not "attack" you. I said it is not for you and others to dictate what should be discussed. You call the below feedback?

Ella wrote: »

You've been told this over and over. There is a parenting forum. This is the ladies lounge and we all get periods at some stage so that thread belongs in here a hell of a lot more than a thread about parents/ kids.

"You've been told this over and over." You're speaking as if there is a rule in place that all threads relating to having children belong in the parenting forum. I must have missed that one!

If ever I needed confirmation that closing my account was the right move, this is it. The "chip on the shoulder" references are so on the money. If you don't want kids then good for you. Some people do and would like to discuss that in a forum dedicated to women. As always there's the assumption from a small but vocal minority of child-free in this forum that those who want kids look down on those who don't.

I'm actually mostly disappointed that the mods are even entertaining this. Discussing motherhood in a female oriented forum is a no brainer.

I'm out.

x Purple Pawprints x

To be honest, I don't have any issues with what is and isn't discussed on this forum. If I have no interest in the thread I just don't read it. I think more people should do the same tbh.

Lucyfur

Can we ALL please remember that this thread is for FEEDBACK, for the good of the forum.

daenerysstormborn3

The same as on any forum, if you don't like a topic, don't read it. There's plenty of threads in TLL that I don't read, I rarely look beyond the chat thread sometimes, because I know that there will be threads full of passionate issues, abortion, motherhood etc. etc., all things that get tempers flaring and sometimes you just can't be bothered getting into it.

I use boards, and TLL in particular, as a place to chat about the little nonsense things in life, sometimes I do look for serious advice or I post about something hard going on in my life but more often than not it's just silly chat and a giggle. I think more people could do with just chilling out and not taking things so personally. If you disagree with the opinion of someone on boards, they're more than likely a stranger, their opinion is probably not going to have a profound effect on your life so don't get so worked up about things.

I find sometimes that due to most contributors to the chat thread being so regular, that we all get to know each others lives and we all have a certain amount invested in each other, like we'll know when someone has an exam, a job interview, is sick or is just going through a tough time, and I think because boards is somewhat anonymous some posters are a lot more harsh on others than they would be with a real life friend/acquaintance. Again, I think some people just need to take a step back and ask themselves if they would say certain things to a real friend/acquaintance.

LegacyUser

Hi,

I hope it's ok to reply anonymously. I used to be a regular poster on boards and closed my account a number of months ago. I still pop in and read but felt very uncomfortable posting
in The Ladies Lounge. The off topic thread is in theory a great idea but there is a clique which makes new users and those who can't post often feel uncomfortable. I study full time and work part and I only get a chance to surf the net briefly. I felt almost like I was intruding when I commented on the off topic thread because people have their own conversations which go on for pages. I'm not a prude, far from it but the level of smut and distasteful comments is also very off putting. I think posters need to be aware people as young as 13 read boards and the flirting, excessive smut should be reserved to PM's or after hours.

Aside from the aforementioned off topic thread, I think the TLL is one of the most interesting, well moderated forums and a big thank you to the mods for all their hard work.

daenerysstormborn3

To be fair, this is the internet, "people as young as 13" will find smut and more anywhere, if they don't find it here, they'll find it somewhere else. I'm sure "people as young as 13" can also access AH so sending all the smut there won't make much difference. It's not up to boards or boards users to be a filter for young people, that's what parents are for.

I don't partake in the jokey "smutty" comments some TLL users make because it's just not my thing but I just scroll over the comments, I don't hold anything against anyone who posts like that because everyone has a different sense of humour.

Starokan

Homelandfan wrote: »

Hi,

I hope it's ok to reply anonymously. I used to be a regular poster on boards and closed my account a number of months ago. I still pop in and read but felt very uncomfortable posting
in The Ladies Lounge. The off topic thread is in theory a great idea but there is a clique which makes new users and those who can't post often feel uncomfortable. I study full time and work part and I only get a chance to surf the net briefly. I felt almost like I was intruding when I commented on the off topic thread because people have their own conversations which go on for pages. I'm not a prude, far from it but the level of smut and distasteful comments is also very off putting. I think posters need to be aware people as young as 13 read boards and the flirting, excessive smut should be reserved to PM's or after hours.

Aside from the aforementioned off topic thread, I think the TLL is one of the most interesting, well moderated forums and a big thank you to the mods for all their hard work.

I think an off topic thread will always be cliquey in that you will have a group of regular posters posting daily, as a result they will get to know each other well and conversations will be ongoing. I think its unavoidable and the only way for someone to get past that is just to start posting regularly and therefore become a part of the group too. I'd say most off topic threads on boards are cliquey to a certain extent. I'd post the very odd time in the off topic thread and i think the posters are pretty welcoming.

For me I like the threads in tll, there seems to be a good mix between fun and serious debate, i only post sporadically but its the quality of the posters that lead me to read the threads regularly. There is a good mix of strong opinionated posters , funny posters, empathic posters etc etc and it seems to work very well.

Morag

What about an events thread?

The march thread got closed which I think was ashame esp as it was a few days before the event, I had people pming me trying to sort out meeting up
when that sort of discussion could have happened in the thread.

Is there room in TLL for a event thread, or political action threads?

Novella

I used to be a regular poster in this forum but I found myself posting less and less. I'm not sure if it's just me and if it is, that's completely fine, but I guess I felt that a lot of threads descended into bitchy little arguments and I often felt frustrated by it so I simply posted elsewhere.

That's about it really. I don't mind threads in relation to parenting in the forum. It's the tone of the threads that was more my issue.

Neyite

I dont post very regularly on the chat thread, but read it daily - one of the main reasons I dont post is that I dont do much these days that is very interesting being on maternity leave, and I'd only bore people.;) I havent found it cliquey at all - in fact when I started posting on the chat thread I got a great welcome from loads of posters, the same as I have seen many other new posters come on, post a few lines and get 7 -8 replies straight afterwards welcoming them or replying to the topic of the post. I dont think I have ever seen a new poster not acknowleged and welcomed by a regular or two.

And, as a new mum, I have never got the impression that me discussing my baby is unwelcome. In fact lots of the child-free posters had a genuine interest in my pregnancy progression, they "named" my baby (as is customary in TLL chat thread ) wished me luck when it was near my labour date, wondered if I'd had the baby yet when I hadnt posted in a few days, and congratulated me when I returned, some requested pictures, others even met baby in person! That does not sound like intolerance to me.

I (personallly) disagree with the poster who thinks that we should limit our conversations to PG-rated topics. If we cant talk "smut" (which is usually only a bit of innuendo) then do we limit the topics that are hard hitting such as the sexual abuse support thread - some of that would be harrowing to a young teen. What about the Ladygardening thread? Periods? Abortion? There are other forums that have stuff linked that is NSFW- which we usually never have. I'd be inclined to think that if a 13year old is even interested in reading some of the topics in The Ladies Lounge that they may actually learn something. But, this is not a forum for 13 year olds - the clue is in the name. Clearasil and Hormones is thattaway.>>>

LizT

I'd agree in a way that the off topic thread is cliquey but I don't think it's intentional. I've only started posting there recently and it's only because I know a few of the posters from other forums.

However, that's to be expected. Lots of the posters are regulars there, they post there everyday and as a result they get to know other posters. I think people need to contribute to the thread, get themselves recognised as a poster here, basically get involved!!

You can't expect all the regulars to drop everything and welcome all the new posters and explain running jokes/certain references that you may not get if you're not a regular (although I will say I've found the majority of posters here to be very welcoming)

The one thing I don't like is some posters getting in sly digs, sometimes posting in what I perceive to be a bitchy tone but not necessarily in a way that's against the charter or in a way that would merit a report. That's what I think puts people off posting here but that's just my opinion. I'm not sure that anything can be done about this.

Princess Peach

LizT wrote: »

The one thing I don't like is some posters getting in sly digs, sometimes posting in what I perceive to be a bitchy tone but not necessarily in a way that's against the charter or in a way that would merit a report. That's what I think puts people off posting here but that's just my opinion. I'm not sure that anything can be done about this.

I'd like to add this point too. I guess my question for the mods is, is it ok to report them even if they aren't specifically abusive? Just if the same posters were being reported over and over for these snide comments, the mods could see a pattern then and decide whether to act or not?

I don't like the smut, but see no problem with it, just pass over any comments your don't like, same as threads you don't like. I have no issue with anything being discussed as long as it doesn't breach the charter, my personal tastes have no baring! As for it being not child friendly, that's up to parents to supervise their kids online :P

One thing that I noticed, but can't say is an issue, is sometimes people bringing other agendas into the chat thread. Sometimes (not often) people will discuss Atheism, or religion, or politics, or abortion, or race, or an argument they are having in another forum within that thread. I'm just unsure of what should be allowed or not regarding sensitive issues such as these. I don't want to name any specific examples here though.

Ellsbells

I am really getting sick of tll. You can't post to say 'I don't like green' without someone coming on to say I am insulting blue or that purple is a worse scenario.

It's a shame because it has the potential of being a great forum.

Wibbs

Princess Peach wrote: »

I'd like to add this point too. I guess my question for the mods is, is it ok to report them even if they aren't specifically abusive? Just if the same posters were being reported over and over for these snide comments, the mods could see a pattern then and decide whether to act or not?

Oh defo report that kind of thing. As you say a one off may and usually means nothing, but consistent stuff does no one any good.

Wibbs

AhInFairness wrote: »

Discussing motherhood in a female oriented forum is a no brainer.

[personal opinion] I'd agree. Yes there's the parenting forum and specific type stuff can go in there, but I really don't see what the issue is with having some conversations here from the female point of view. As a general thing there is a difference between the genders in childcare, especially with young kids so like you say it's pretty much a no brainer. If that's not your bag, then I'd echo what others have said, if you don't have an interest in a subject then you don't have to read it. We already have that. EG Some live in the chat thread and rarely post outside it(though may read) and others post in various main threads and never darken the chat thread. Grand I say. [/personal opinion]

Ectoplasm

As a long time reader of tLL I was delighted to log in and see a feedback thread. I am a lazy poster and I freely admit that, but I'm on boards more or less daily and tLL is one of the few forums that I always check but lately I've been feeling kinda irritated when I do and I've been trying to pin down why. The conclusion I've come to could be nonsense but this thread seems like the ideal place to put it.

There seems to be quite a lot of sniping going on in threads and *some* posters are taking an entrenched attitude into every thread and it is to the detriment of the forum in general.

Take the mother/non-mother thing; those who feel tLL is 'against' mothers see it in every thread vaguely related to it and those who feel tLL is 'for' mothers see it in every thread vaguely related to it. The result is that these threads don't get to 'stand on their own merits' (for want of better phrasing) and get taken over by sniping which gets boring quickly.

Personally I don't see either of those 'biases' and while sure, some topics may be better suited to other forums, the mods do a pretty good job of sending them where they should go.

I posted this a while back on another thread:

I think sometimes people when they are challenged on what they have posted take it personally and see it as an 'attack' rather than just a challenge or a way for another poster to understand where they're coming from - and unfortunately when that happens, it's all to easy to dig the heels in and refuse to reconsider your position

I admitted in that thread that I have been guilty of that myself. The thing is though disagreement is NOT criticism - even if it is, where is the harm. I learn far more from those that challenge me than those that agree with me.

Regarding cliqueishness (quite possibly a made-up word) on the forum I don't see it as a problem; cliques are generally exclusive and on a forum the only way to be excluded is to choose not to post.

My own personal feedback would be that while I think the mods do an excellent job, I do think sometimes there could be a bit more scope given to humour on the forum. I don't think that every topic must be a 'serious' one but that might just be me.

Ickle Magoo

Great feedback so far, thanks everyone.

If you don't like something in the forum or think it needs to be brought to a mods attention then report or PM a mod, if you report a mod, that mod doesn't deal with that report/complaint so don't ever be put off reporting, or even pming if you aren't comfortable reporting. It doesn't matter who it's about or what it's about if you think something is going on which is affecting your enjoyment of the forum or you think could be acted on differently and improve the forum then please just shout.

For the mothers Vs non-mothers thing, as a poster I don't have an issue with parenting threads in tLL. Given what a huge chunk of time mothering can take in a woman's life or the numerous issues affecting women which relate to motherhood it seems bonkers not to have those kind of threads in a forum dedicated to female perspectives. What I would say though is those posting parenting related threads can choose to phrase their threads acknowledging that not all posters are going to be/want to be parents or post assuming all posters ARE parents, which just gets backs up. So for me it's less about the topic and more about how the topic is being portrayed/brought up for discussion that is causing issues...that's just my personal view on it, mind.

All in all I'm more of a "if you don't like it, don't read it" type poster - I really like that there is a mix of serious and non-serious topics and I can dip in and out depending on mood. I would ask if there is a better way of modding those threads tho? Should they be modded so that the OP is respected absolutely? I've noticed a couple of times when OP's are coming back to their own threads and stating that wasn't what their thread was for/about - should the OP be able to set out their thread and it is modded to that effect?

Sharrow wrote: »

What about an events thread?

The march thread got closed which I think was ashame esp as it was a few days before the event, I had people pming me trying to sort out meeting up
when that sort of discussion could have happened in the thread.

Is there room in TLL for a event thread, or political action threads?

Good question - what do you think folks? Do you think tLL should have a noticeboard type facility for events which specifically are of interest to/relating to women? Sticky for a while kind of thing - or rather than discussion, an info thread? Would posters be okay with having both sides represented because we'd have to be fair, if the pro-side gets their thread/sticky, so would the anti-...

Lucyfur

I think a notice board is a great idea:)

I would be concerned that people supporting X might get offended when people supporting Y come along and advertise something, but if that can be taken care of in a mod note, I don't see why we shouldn't have one:)

Lucyfur

Lucyfur wrote: »

I would be concerned that people supporting X might get offended when people supporting Y come along and advertise something, but if that can be taken care of in a mod note, I don't see why we shouldn't have one:)

That'll be just tough luck tbh. If it's there, it's there for everyone.

I'm not sure I like the idea. I'll have to think about it a bit more.
Who do we allow to use this thread? regular posters? First time posters?
Do we allow discussion or just one post with the event and link to the details?

meeeeh

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

Great feedback so far, thanks everyone.
Good question - what do you think folks? Do you think tLL should have a noticeboard type facility for events which specifically are of interest to/relating to women? Sticky for a while kind of thing - or rather than discussion, an info thread? Would posters be okay with having both sides represented because we'd have to be fair, if the pro-side gets their thread/sticky, so would the anti-...

Couldn't there be just one notice board for events, regardless of the subject or which side is being represented and where discussion would be limited to logistics of the event. And if somebody wants to discuss the subject they can open a separate thread. It's confusing when details about the event get lost in the flood of pro et contra posts.