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can I have a really really milky coffee please

  • 05-11-2012 12:57pm
    #1
    Grayson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,409 ✭✭✭✭


    http://presscentre.debenhams.com/Press-Releases/Say-goodbye-to-cappuccino-confusion-Debenhams-launches-plain-English-coffee-menu-1b4.aspx

    No longer will coffee-lovers be in a muddle over mocha, caught out by cappuccino or embarrassed about espresso thanks to a plain English coffee menu launched by Debenhams today (29 October 2012).

    Caffe latte is described as ‘really really milky coffee’, Cappuccino as ‘frothy coffee’ and Caffe mocha as ‘chocolate flavoured coffee’. Black coffee is ‘simple coffee, with or without milk’ with espresso shot labelled as ‘a shot of strong coffee’.

    Rather than offering confusing ‘tall’ (meaning small) ‘grande’ (meaning large) or ‘venti’ (meaning extra large) coffee sizes as found in other shops, the high street retailer has also scrapped different size options, instead offering thirsty shoppers simply a ‘cup’ or a ‘mug’ of their favourite drink

    This really makes me want to punch someone.


«1

Comments

  • #2
    Dack Janiels
    Site Banned Posts: 14 ✭Dack Janiels


    Keep lining up for coffee and rabbit punching the person in front of you when they order. When the security turns up order a really milky coffee and throw it at them. Case closed.


  • #3
    old_aussie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,410 ✭✭✭old_aussie


    I'll have one really really milky coffee to go please


  • #4
    SEPT 23 1989
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,028 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    I think its a good idea


  • #5
    summerskin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,760 ✭✭✭summerskin


    This is how I picture the OP ordering coffee....

    "I'll have a double choca mocha half caf soya latte please and a babychino for little Fiachra."


  • #6
    Dack Janiels
    Site Banned Posts: 14 ✭Dack Janiels


    summerskin wrote: »
    This is how I picture the OP ordering coffee....

    "I'll have a double choca mocha half caf soya latte please and a babychino for little Fiachra."

    Yeah exactly, and then he hops up on Fiachra's shoulders and starts dancing around like a robot while his sons toddler legs wobble under the strain.


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  • #7
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    I suspect that any coffee shop that would use this stupid naming system wouldn't be serving coffee worth drinking anyway.

    Although the 'venti' nonsense is no bad thing to get rid of. Although having said that I've only every seen it in Starbucks - and we all know their coffee is swill-like at the best of times.

    COFFEE SNOB! OH YEAH! I'm a coffee snob! :pac:


  • #8
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    thats the way it was when i worked in bewleys, then the celtic tiger happened and everyone thought they were coffee afectionados


  • #9
    Dack Janiels
    Site Banned Posts: 14 ✭Dack Janiels


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    Starbucks - and we all know their coffee is swill-like at the best of times.

    No not really, it's just seen as cool to criticise it. Sheep!


  • #10
    BraziliaNZ
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,671 ✭✭✭BraziliaNZ


    sounds like a good idea, I think our interpretations of those Italian words are way off anyway. My Aunt asked for latte in Rome one time, and they gave her a glass of cold milk. So we should really just use English words ffs.


  • #11
    DavyD_83
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,992 ✭✭✭DavyD_83


    admiralofthefleet wrote: »
    thats the way it was when i worked in bewleys, then the celtic tiger happened and everyone thought they were coffee afectionados

    More boomtime amrericanism wankology being removed from daily life.
    Sounds good to me.
    You want coffee; you say: "Coffee"
    Almost too sensible to work in the Ireland of today, but I live in hope.

    I want to punch people who understand Starbucks' ridiculous ordering system, and even moreso those who defend it.


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  • #12
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Dack Janiels wrote: »
    No not really, it's just seen as cool to criticise it. Sheep!

    No it really is. It's bland as bland can be. I've had it in several countries and it's always the same (which is why it's a success I suppose).

    It's also vastly overpriced. There's far better coffee to be had in Dublin at a much cheaper rate.

    I have little truck for what's supposed to be cool or not to criticise. I criticise Starbucks coffee because I've tasted it and I don't like it.

    Throwing 'sheep' around as an insult is a lazy, unimaginative way to criticise someone. It's so overused it's become a laughable cliche at this stage and I would go so far as to say someone who has to resort to using it is behaving in a sheeplike manner themselves. Oh the irony, it's delicious (unlike Starbucks coffee which isn't).


  • #13
    Dack Janiels
    Site Banned Posts: 14 ✭Dack Janiels


    DavyD_83 wrote: »

    I want to punch people who understand Starbucks' ridiculous ordering system, and even moreso those who defend it.

    You want to punch people who can understand that Venti Grande and Tall replace large medium and small? It's bent, but it's not that hard to understand. Shalom


  • #14
    Eve_Dublin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,884 ✭✭✭Eve_Dublin


    That's what's great about here. You ask for a coffee with milk, cold, warm or hot and no option of full fat or low fat never mind soya and the rest of them. You can have coffee without milk or you can have coffee with a small amount of coffee and more milk. Nice and simple and the coffee is always delicious. Those pretentious Italian names are idiotic in somewhere like Ireland.


  • #15
    Grayson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,409 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    summerskin wrote: »
    This is how I picture the OP ordering coffee....

    "I'll have a double choca mocha half caf soya latte please and a babychino for little Fiachra."

    My sisters pregnant. I told her if she called the kid fiachra, sorcha or uachtar reoite, she'd get disowned.


  • #16
    Dack Janiels
    Site Banned Posts: 14 ✭Dack Janiels


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    No it really is. It's bland as bland can be. I've had it in several countries and it's always the same (which is why it's a success I suppose).

    It's also vastly overpriced. There's far better coffee to be had in Dublin at a much cheaper rate.

    I have little truck for what's supposed to be cool or not to criticise. I criticise Starbucks coffee because I've tasted it and I don't like it.

    Throwing 'sheep' around as an insult is a lazy, unimaginative way to criticise someone. It's so overused it's become a laughable cliche at this stage and I would go so far as to say someone who has to resort to using it is behaving in a sheeplike manner themselves. Oh the irony, it's delicious (unlike Starbucks coffee which isn't).

    Clears throat: You're a sheep! You're on about being overpriced, I took issue with you calling it swill because it's the cool thing to do. It's not the best coffee, but it's not swill. Such hyperbole is in the purview of the "it's cool and alternative to criticise starbucks" crowd. Sheep!


  • #17
    gerbilgranny
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 520 ✭✭✭gerbilgranny


    All this new-fangled coffee terminology has intimidated me.

    I've only recently got the hang of ordering a 'skinny Mocha' (which is, I understand, a really sugary chocolately thing made with low fat milk...so not really 'skinny' at all).

    But last week I thought I'd be good and avoid the chocolate - so I asked for 'a skinny Americano'.:o They had to explain to me that the only liquid in an Americano is water.

    I think Debenhams are on to a good thing...


  • #18
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Dack Janiels wrote: »
    Clears throat: You're a sheep! You're on about being overpriced, I took issue with you calling it swill because it's the cool thing to do. It's not the best coffee, but it's not swill. Such hyperbole is in the purview of the "it's cool and alternative to criticise starbucks" crowd. Sheep!

    Wow you love your Starbucks and your unimaginative insults don't you? You have no notion of why I'm doing or saying anything but y'know carry on thinking you do.

    I also think Insomnia serve up horrible coffee too. Am I a sheep for not liking them either?

    Also Jack Daniels is muck whiskey too. :pac:


  • #19
    Dack Janiels
    Site Banned Posts: 14 ✭Dack Janiels


    gerbilgranny wrote: »
    All this new-fangled coffee terminology has intimidated me.

    Hmmm...the cafe latte has been around since the 17th century. It's hardly newfangled!


  • #20
    summerskin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,760 ✭✭✭summerskin


    Grayson wrote: »
    My sisters pregnant. I told her if she called the kid fiachra, sorcha or uachtar reoite, she'd get disowned.


    Did you tell her that over a Grande Mochaccino while admiring your sailor tats?


  • #21
    af_thefragile
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,171 ✭✭✭af_thefragile


    I prefer this to the pretentious starbucks "mocha", "cappuccino", "machiato" whatever nonsense!


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  • #22
    Schism
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,919 ✭✭✭Schism


    Grayson wrote: »
    My sisters pregnant. I told her if she called the kid fiachra, sorcha or uachtar reoite, she'd get disowned.

    Oh please tell me her surname is Roche? She could sneakily stick uachtar as a middle name and advise the kid to go by it. Then pretend that Roche is actually an Italian surname and is pronounced Row-sha...

    Uacthar Roche, the ice cream kid! Half Italian / half Irish, all fashionable nonsense :D


  • #23
    Shane-KornSpace
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,025 ✭✭✭Shane-KornSpace


    feck the naming system.
    even in Starbucks, I ask for a large black coffee.


  • #24
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    af_thefragile wrote: »
    I prefer this to the pretentious starbucks "mocha", "cappuccino", "machiato" whatever nonsense!

    Starbucks didn't invent those names.


  • #25
    summerskin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,760 ✭✭✭summerskin


    Shane-KornSpace wrote: »
    feck the naming system.
    even in Starbucks, I ask for a large black coffee.


    http://i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/007/508/watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme.png


  • #26
    Grayson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,409 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    gerbilgranny wrote: »
    All this new-fangled coffee terminology has intimidated me.

    I've only recently got the hang of ordering a 'skinny Mocha' (which is, I understand, a really sugary chocolately thing made with low fat milk...so not really 'skinny' at all).

    But last week I thought I'd be good and avoid the chocolate - so I asked for 'a skinny Americano'.:o They had to explain to me that the only liquid in an Americano is water.

    I think Debenhams are on to a good thing...

    To help.

    Expresso: that thick strong coffee that italians drink in those little cups.
    Latte: Hot cup of milk with shot of expresso.
    Americano: Hot cup of water with shot of expresso
    Cappuchino: Same as a latte except they froth up the milk so much there's about half the milk taking up the same space.
    Mocha: (also called a mocha latte) Latte with big dollop of chocolate.

    btw, all starbucks drinks are made with low fat milk. If you ask for skinny, you get zero fat milk.


    See, there's not actually that much. And when you consider the amount of varients of wine and beer (got help us if a barman doesn't pour a Guinness correctly) it's actually very little.


  • #27
    Grayson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,409 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    summerskin wrote: »
    Did you tell her that over a Grande Mochaccino while admiring your sailor tats?

    Actually it was a mocha for me and hot chocolate for her (No coffee whilst pregnant) :)


  • #28
    af_thefragile
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,171 ✭✭✭af_thefragile


    Grayson wrote: »
    To help.

    Expresso: that thick strong coffee that italians drink in those little cups.
    Latte: Hot cup of milk with shot of expresso.
    Americano: Hot cup of water with shot of expresso
    Cappuchino: Same as a latte except they froth up the milk so much there's about half the milk taking up the same space.
    Mocha: (also called a mocha latte) Latte with big dollop of chocolate.

    btw, all starbucks drinks are made with low fat milk. If you ask for skinny, you get zero fat milk.


    See, there's not actually that much. And when you consider the amount of varients of wine and beer (got help us if a barman doesn't pour a Guinness correctly) it's actually very little.
    http://xkcd.com/915/


  • #29
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    af_thefragile wrote: »
    http://xkcd.com/915/

    That's just the names of the different ways it's served..... whatever you do don't wander in here! :eek:


  • #30
    harney
    Registered Users Posts: 1,215 ✭✭✭harney


    Grayson wrote: »
    <snip> Black coffee is ‘simple coffee, with or without milk’ </snip>




    This really makes me want to punch someone.

    When I first started working over here in the UK I was based in one of our smaller offices where everybody takes turns making the coffee. The division I worked in did a lot of security consultancy work, so was involved in a lot of local and central government work which meant all the politics and PC that goes with it.

    One day it was my turn to make the coffee so I wander up to one of the consultants and ask if he would like some tea or coffee....

    <con> Yea, could I have a coffee please.
    <Me> Sure, would you like it black or white?
    <con> I'll have it without.
    <Me> (a bit dim as it was first thing in the morning) Without what?
    <con> Without milk
    <Me> Ah, so you want a black coffee?
    <con> Yes, I want a coffee without
    <Me> So you want a black coffee!
    <con> (shuffles feet) We were told down the Home Office it's not politically correct to say it that way
    <Me> I see (and wanders off)

    It must be a minefield working in those offices.


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  • #31
    emeraldstar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,383 ✭✭✭emeraldstar


    admiralofthefleet wrote: »
    thats the way it was when i worked in bewleys, then the celtic tiger happened and everyone thought they were coffee afectionados
    They were affectionate towards coffee?


  • #32
    DavyD_83
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,992 ✭✭✭DavyD_83


    Dack Janiels wrote: »
    You want to punch people who can understand that Venti Grande and Tall replace large medium and small? It's bent, but it's not that hard to understand. Shalom

    To be honest, yes. Only way to get to understand it is to become part of the problem really.
    But it's more the mocha frappachino, skinny latte crowd that really get on my nerves.
    And I'd probably be ok with elaborate ordering systems if they were only added to normal list of orders. So that I could still order a 'coffee' and get what i wanted.
    Instead if you have the gall to order a 'coffee' you are treated like you are the moron in the conversation.
    And no, it is like somebody walking into a shop and saying "cigarettes please", or a bar and asking for "beer" (although most bars will just give you something). Most cafés aren't offering forty brands of coffee, they just prepare it in 6squillion different ways so that people can think they are more sophisticated than the average coffee drinker.

    I hadn't realised how much this actually annoyed me until i started typing.
    More big/jargon words aren't always more descriptive and accurate.
    Arg


  • #33
    Senna
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,800 ✭✭✭Senna


    Can we have a thread about tea, at least I'd understand that thread.


  • #34
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Senna wrote: »
    Can we have a thread about tea, at least I'd understand that thread.

    Chai, peppermint, earl grey, nettle, peppermint or green?


  • #35
    Dack Janiels
    Site Banned Posts: 14 ✭Dack Janiels


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    Wow you love your Starbucks and your unimaginative insults don't you? You have no notion of why I'm doing or saying anything but y'know carry on thinking you do.

    I also think Insomnia serve up horrible coffee too. Am I a sheep for not liking them either?

    Also Jack Daniels is muck whiskey too. :pac:

    What's your big hang up with unimaginative comments? I'm not writing a literary review here, I'm telling you that you're a sheep. There's no imagination required, it's all based on your pseudo-alternative attempting to be cool comments. Sheep!

    Also Jack Daniels is muck, but that's the whole point. Sheep!


  • #36
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Dack Janiels wrote: »
    What's your big hang up with unimaginative comments? I'm not writing a literary review here, I'm telling you that you're a sheep. There's no imagination required, it's all based on your pseudo-alternative attempting to be cool comments. Sheep!

    Also Jack Daniels is muck, but that's the whole point. Sheep!

    You're going to get on so well on boards.ie :pac:

    Like a lamb to the slaughter I'd imagine!


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  • #37
    Dack Janiels
    Site Banned Posts: 14 ✭Dack Janiels


    DavyD_83 wrote: »
    To be honest, yes. Only way to get to understand it is to become part of the problem really.
    But it's more the mocha frappachino, skinny latte crowd that really get on my nerves.
    And I'd probably be ok with elaborate ordering systems if they were only added to normal list of orders. So that I could still order a 'coffee' and get what i wanted.
    Instead if you have the gall to order a 'coffee' you are treated like you are the moron in the conversation.
    And no, it is like somebody walking into a shop and saying "cigarettes please", or a bar and asking for "beer" (although most bars will just give you something). Most cafés aren't offering forty brands of coffee, they just prepare it in 6squillion different ways so that people can think they are more sophisticated than the average coffee drinker.

    I hadn't realised how much this actually annoyed me until i started typing.
    More big/jargon words aren't always more descriptive and accurate.
    Arg

    The reality is that most people never use the Venti/Grande thing, they just say large or whatever. Also, Costa coffee have a wacky Massimo and Diminutive title for their small and large etc so to blame Starbucks for it is a bit unfair.

    There's two groups of coffee people: coffee heroes and coffee pretenders.


  • #38
    Shenshen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,453 ✭✭✭Shenshen


    Grayson wrote: »
    http://presscentre.debenhams.com/Press-Releases/Say-goodbye-to-cappuccino-confusion-Debenhams-launches-plain-English-coffee-menu-1b4.aspx




    This really makes me want to punch someone.

    *lol

    I never understood why Ireland was selling coffee with US names in the first place.

    So this, I think, is a rather brilliant little excercise in honesty. I like it.


  • #39
    mitosis
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,000 ✭✭✭mitosis


    BraziliaNZ wrote: »
    sounds like a good idea, I think our interpretations of those Italian words are way off anyway. My Aunt asked for latte in Rome one time, and they gave her a glass of cold milk. So we should really just use English words ffs.


    Your aunt's interpretation is certainly way off. Latte is milk. If she wanted coffee why did she ask for milk?


  • #40
    pow wow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,288 ✭✭✭pow wow


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    Chai, peppermint, earl grey, nettle, peppermint or green?

    Rooibos, clearly.


  • #41
    eyeball kid
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,755 ✭✭✭eyeball kid


    Grayson wrote: »
    To help.

    Expresso: that thick strong coffee that italians drink in those little cups.
    Latte: Hot cup of milk with shot of expresso.
    Americano: Hot cup of water with shot of expresso
    Cappuchino: Same as a latte except they froth up the milk so much there's about half the milk taking up the same space.
    Mocha: (also called a mocha latte) Latte with big dollop of chocolate.
    .


    What's the name for a plain coffee?


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  • #42
    Dack Janiels
    Site Banned Posts: 14 ✭Dack Janiels


    eyeball kid wrote: »
    What's the name for a plain coffee?

    You just order it the way the bad guy does in the diner in A History of Violence.


  • #43
    JohnMarston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,881 ✭✭✭JohnMarston


    eyeball kid wrote: »
    What's the name for a plain coffee?

    ...Coffee...:confused:

    I would have thought the fancy names for the sizes could easily be discerned by price. I wouldnt order a venti and expect a thimble sized cup


  • #44
    kylith
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,736 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    eyeball kid wrote: »
    What's the name for a plain coffee?

    Probably 'Americano'.

    I don't see the point of changing the names of the drinks themselves, except for maybe putting the description on the menu so people can refer to it if needed. I'd welcome the 'normalisation' of the sizes though. When did 'small', 'medium' and 'large' become insufficient? I feel like a right knob asking for a grande tea, especially when they give them counter-intuitive names; like calling the small 'tall'. I'd prefer to ask for a Large, or a Mug.


  • #45
    GreeBo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,313 ✭✭✭✭GreeBo


    Grayson wrote: »
    To help.

    Expresso: that thick strong coffee that italians drink in those little cups.
    Latte: Hot cup of milk with shot of expresso.
    Americano: Hot cup of water with shot of expresso
    Cappuchino: Same as a latte except they froth up the milk so much there's about half the milk taking up the same space.
    Mocha: (also called a mocha latte) Latte with big dollop of chocolate.

    btw, all starbucks drinks are made with low fat milk. If you ask for skinny, you get zero fat milk.

    Ahh nothing nicer than a good ole EXpresso when you are in a hurry. Much better than DHL.:rolleyes:


  • #46
    Sorcha16
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 343 ✭✭Sorcha16


    Grayson wrote: »
    My sisters pregnant. I told her if she called the kid fiachra, sorcha or uachtar reoite, she'd get disowned.

    :eek::eek::eek:

    :(


  • #47
    horsemaster
    Registered Users Posts: 123 ✭✭horsemaster


    SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »
    I think its a good idea

    Ditto that.


  • #48
    westendgirlie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,125 ✭✭✭westendgirlie


    FFS

    Options - black coffee, white coffee, milky coffee or frothy coffee.

    Size options - in a cup, mug, big cup or big mug.


  • #49
    Dack Janiels
    Site Banned Posts: 14 ✭Dack Janiels


    westendgirlie wrote: »
    FFS

    Options - black coffee, white coffee, milky coffee or frothy coffee.

    Size options - in a cup, mug, big cup or big mug.

    Wow, you are so no nonsense and edgy. You just cut right through the bull that catches everybody else up.


  • #50
    westendgirlie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,125 ✭✭✭westendgirlie


    Dack Janiels wrote: »
    Wow, you are so no nonsense and edgy. You just cut right through the bull that catches everybody else up.

    I may just need a caffeine fix ;):D


  • #51
    Franticfrank
    Registered Users Posts: 260 ✭✭Franticfrank


    I think a lot of the coffee connoisseurs love the confusing Italian names and will avoid Debenhams because 'its suddenly gotten boring'.


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