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Have you ever had depression?

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  • Moderators Posts: 8,678 ✭✭✭D4RK ONION


    Hey everyone! Today is world Suicide Prevention today. We all lost a very good friend, Pygmalion, to suicide this year and it's truly heartbreaking. To know he felt so bad about his life, to know that he thought nobody cared, and to know that those were his final thoughts in this world, it tears me apart.

    So I beg you, acquaintance or best friend or whatever's in-between, if you feel like no one cares *you are wrong*... I care. I give a crap. So please Message or call me (or someone else/a helpline) and get it off your chest or even just have a chat. There is nothing weird or embarrassing about depression. Thanks.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Something off AH to go with world suicide prevention day
    A new survey was released by St. Patrick's hospital for World Suicide Prevention Day today.....

    "The disturbing findings show that over a fifth of people surveyed believe that those suffering from mental health problems are of below average intelligence. 31% of respondents stated that they would not willingly accept someone with a mental health problem as a close friend. 62% would discriminate against hiring someone with a history of mental illness on the grounds that they may be unreliable and 42% felt that undergoing treatment for a mental health problem is a sign of personal failure."


  • Moderators Posts: 8,678 ✭✭✭D4RK ONION


    cloud493 wrote: »
    Something off AH to go with world suicide prevention day
    A new survey was released by St. Patrick's hospital for World Suicide Prevention Day today.....

    "The disturbing findings show that over a fifth of people surveyed believe that those suffering from mental health problems are of below average intelligence. 31% of respondents stated that they would not willingly accept someone with a mental health problem as a close friend. 62% would discriminate against hiring someone with a history of mental illness on the grounds that they may be unreliable and 42% felt that undergoing treatment for a mental health problem is a sign of personal failure."
    So basically 20%, 31%, 62% and 42% of those surveyed, respectivly, are complete nob-ends. That last one in particular disgusts me deeply.




  • Just remember there is always help- there's no need to suffer alone.


  • Moderators, Music Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 6,068 Mod ✭✭✭✭LoonyLovegood


    I've been feeling worse lately, if I'm honest. I was cooking earlier, and gashed my thumb off a piece of metal from a tin, and I felt like I did when I self harmed. If it's accidental, but you get the feeling, is it?

    I just want the lonliness to go away. I'm gonna see if I can make an appointment in college to see if I need to change my meds or smth.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,428 ✭✭✭Talib Fiasco


    Although I must admit I've been pretty much on cloud nine since I got my LC results and got my first choice in Limerick...I gotta say I've been having negative and critical thoughts with the last few days...maybe week. Look I love Limerick. I love the buzz, the change in scenery etc...college is good for the most part. Some of the stuff is really interesting and beneficial but I dunno it just seems everything is just flying and it's like a blur and I feel like I'm falling on my own. I knew it'd be hard moving away from friends and family and all that but honestly loads of people who I've only seen with about a month know me....it's not like I'm this anti social loner who doesn't know anyone...but yeah loads of people know of me whether thats a good thing or not I dunno...I've already formed a 'group' of 4 lads including me and we're dead tight...honestly we talk and laugh about EVERY bloody thing...I'm pretty well known by my class mates and say hi to most every day...it just seems theres something been kept hidden from me!? I dunno whats in it but I get the impression that people in college think I'm this c*cky guy from Cork who's a party animal and borderline man whore whos an ignorant little f*ck and speaks his mind too often but wont tell me directly...I'm know i'm being abit harsh on myself yeah but I def get that vibe from most people...girls and lads...and sometimes I feel like I'm really alone. Eventhough I've the lads, they're living fairly far away from me and my housemate has his own friends from years ago with him and I feel awkward around them a little. Then theres the lads and girls who I just drink with and they rarely talk to ya outside of that scene bar stuff like 'oh you're some lad for it like!'... That coupled with the fact my 'friends' from home haven't been in contact with me with over a month and it doesn't seem to be any changing that...I'll admit I'm overdoing the partying and whole college life thing a little but I'm still leaving off steam so to speak. I've needed this release but it's time to stop a little. I've already decided I'm cutting down my drinking seriously from now on. I'll still go out maybe twice a week but the drink has to go or be limited....i know that gene is present in me and will only get more dominant the more I feed it.... I've always had a really good sense of humour and I'd say it's a positive trait but I think I have to be more shy and kinda sad for a while.... I'd much rather be that average chill guy who people respect and can be comfortable around rather than the loud intimidating guy whos expected to provide laughs and tell stories about him being a psycho.... I'll see how it goes. I planned to calm down this week but that didn't last past a day but I'm really gonna try it now starting monday. I'm going to be starting going to the gym too so maybe that'll take some of my energy away in a safe way. I gotta be more conscious of my studies and forget about trying to be this guy who craves the laughs and whatever from people.......and the whole thing of pulling girls. Like everyone loves a bit of that but I gotta just chill and take a breather. It's like theres a demon there and it's all I think about when drinking before the club...I've never been one for relationships but I'd love to have that one person who I could just hold and be chill with rather than the one nighters who only give you the awkward hi the next day....maybe I'm overthinking stuff and I'm not being true to myself and just accept who I am but I dunno like...I always wonder could I be someone else and whats stopping me. This mightn't even be a valid post eventhough I am down about this whole thing but yeah thats the rant eh I'm so bad at typing my thoughts :P

    Laters.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 843 ✭✭✭Whatsernamex33


    I don't know whether I would say I was depressed nowadays, but years ago when I was 14 it was a serious issue. To the point I nearly committed suicide a few years ago, infront of my friends. I don't like thinking about it, none of us can talk about it since.

    Anyhows, after a failed relationship, yeah all those feelings came back. Emptiness, etc etc. I didn't leave my house for a few months, didn't socialise with anyone, besides people in school because I kind of had to. I didn't want to, though. Basically I just liked sleeping, and going out walking, listening to music. One thing that actually made me happy and positive, music. Learned a few things about myself during those few dark months. Half the people I socialized with at the time, when I did actually socialize, brought me down a lot. I think what depressed me a lot though, was growing up. I'm a super big child, really, and I'm watching friends move away, have a child, college, ya knowssss, when all I want is to take it back a few years, when everything was easier. I hate the whole thought of growing up and life and shizz...

    Tbh, I kind of realized that I can't explain how I really feel, it sucks. :/


  • Registered Users Posts: 497 ✭✭Hairycopper


    Was at a funeral today of a guy who committed suicide, the sadness and the devastation of it all :( Lads seriously if any of ye have a lot on your heads and feeling down just talk, tell someone! Talk to a friend, teacher, family even me just talk it through.


  • Registered Users Posts: 830 ✭✭✭Robby91


    After deciding to read through my previous post in this thread, I can't help but think that, right now, it seems like pure and utter bull****. Everything just seems to be crumbling around me nowadays. College used to be really exciting but now it's just becoming 'eh' - I like the course I'm doing but I feel that I'm losing interest and, eventually, will just stop giving a **** about learning while carrying on going to lectures because it's the only thing I know.

    Everything just feels so much duller than it used to, I can't think of anything that excites me and hearing other people talk and get excited about whatever it is they like frustrates me because while they're off talking about/doing the stuff they like, I'm just sitting here shrugging my shoulders trying to think of something that I like doing and come up with next-to-nothing - playing games seems to be quickly losing whatever charm it once had, and every setback I suffer when programming just feels like a crushing defeat and makes me feel like ****.

    At this stage, I don't really know what to do. Technically, I know one thing I can do but (a) the thought of picking up the phone to make that one simple phone call scares the crap out of me because I don't know what to say and being in a position where I don't know what to say really ****s me up and (b) for some stupid reason, I try to convince myself that there's nothing wrong and I'm just trying to make up over-the-top excuses to try and excuse laziness, lack of motivation and an unwillingness to do anything.

    Now, I need some music but I don't think any of the songs I have for cheering myself up are going to do any good right now... :(


  • Registered Users Posts: 497 ✭✭Hairycopper


    I've really really gotten very down he last few weeks. I hate my school, i don't want it is because i have great friends but i feel like the biggest failure and all the teachers are looking down on me. Its really getting me down and making me doubt everything in my life. Me and my parents are going to talk through options later but I'm in 6th year and its nearing the end of November, i'm afraid it's going to be too late to change or anything :( I just want a clean start again.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 843 ✭✭✭Whatsernamex33


    There's a few things that gets me down in this life and I know I should never ever let them get to me.
    The first, well after a countless number of times being broken up with for another girl, your confidence shatters. I tried and tried to make myself prettier, tried to change my personality, everything. After it all, I hated myself. I wondered why I just couldn't look like that seriously pretty girl down the street who could get any guy she wanted. I'm not the loudest girl, pretty quiet actually, and that was one of the reason a guy wouldn't go out with me before. Such an 11 year old issue :rolleyes: but it's true. How I look has always been a huge issue for me. Not that I'm vain or anything, but at times I just wished someone would tell me I looked beautiful and truly mean it. I find it very hard to accept it. I guess I just gotta accept it. I've been let down my whole life by people... I find it hard to trust people. I'm scared of getting hurt again. I can't stand lies at all, whether they be a small white lie or a bigger one. Truthfulness in a person means alot to me.

    Secondly, I got bullied an awful lot growing up. I really considered leaving school after 3rd year because I couldn't handle it anymore. All through 6th class, every few weeks I'd feign sickness so I wouldn't have to face that girl. Lies and rumors were made up and spread around. And from 6th class actually to 3rd year, it was the same girl... Bullying is a sick, sick thing and noone should ever have to be a victim to it. When I was five, I was absolutely terrified of a girl my sister hung around with. While my sister was gone, she'd hit me, push me down, whatever. My mam did go up to this girl's parents too, and while it did seem sorted out, it wasn't. Anytime I walk around the estate and see her, all those memories come crashing back.

    Thirdly, atm I'm not in school/college, whatever, until next year. The fact that I'm not, yeah it depresses me alot. It's absolutely ridiculous the amount of people who say that I wouldn't have a clue on life, or just education in general. I know of people who paid 5k into their course, and who are rubbing it in my face, that they're doing the course I've wanted to do for years and years. I'll get there eventually. And in fairness, I probably do have a lot more cop on in this life than they'll ever have. A college degree means nothing. Between family deaths, financial strains, problems in general, I know exactly what it's like.


    From all this, I self harmed, I've thought about suicide a fair few times, I attempted it once a long time ago. The thing I've learned however, is that you do come out stronger each time. Yes, there are days I wake up and think, what's the point... And those familiar feelings of sadness and depression come back, but you take each day with a pinch of salt, and remember tomorrow is a new day, new adventures and experiences to be had.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,571 ✭✭✭Aoifey!


    I just hit an all time low. I never admitted it before, but I think I need help...


  • Registered Users Posts: 764 ✭✭✭floutingmaxims


    I've scrolled through this page a lot but never posted about myself until now.

    I left college after a year in my course. Since then everything has gone to pot. I live at home with my parents and I feel like a worthless piece of s**t. I get angry with them a lot even though they never ask much of me. I make out that living at home with my parents is whats killing me but really they're great and im just horrible to them. I get angry so easily, its like turning on a switch. I feel so bad afterwords, i usually go up to my room and just have a long cry. I work 2 days a week in a local pub and they are the only days of the week i do something constructive with my time while I'm at home.The rest of the time i just spend in bed, dreading to get up and face the monotony of yet another day of the same crap. The thought of getting another job (which i know is hard but not impossible) scares me to death. The only reason i like working where i am now is because ive grown used to it. The first 2 years i was there i would feel physically ill before I went in and needed constant reassurance and a hug before i went out the door (Thanks Ma) I want to go back to college asap but i dont know what i want to do. And I need to figure that out before i go spending loads of money i dont have on a course i dont even like. One of my cousins told me recently that my aunt hated me. I dont think he realised how much this statement hurt me. He said she never had a bad word to say about me until i left college and that now she cant stand me. That made me feel even more worthless. That got back around to her anyway and there were apologies and she loved me etc

    I know she wants the best for me but no one ever really discussed with me why i left college. They just made their own assumptions and decided to judge me like that. Now i feel like everybody's against me and the pressure's on to do something with myself. Not just for me but so that everybody else will be happy with me. I cant handle it.

    All of my friends are in college and i have nobody who lives nearby to go to for support. My family have their own problems.

    Hopefully in January, I'll be moving to Limerick to live with my boyfriend. I really think that will be the kick i need. A change of pace will be good and my boyfriend is great to lean on when i need support too. I cant wait for that time to come but now im just doing the motions and trying to get by day to day. Ive found myself hating almost everything, making conversation is becoming increasingly difficult as i seem to get annoyed by everything. I went to bed instead of watching the toy show lastnight because i couldnt stand watching those smug little children with their toys. Thats not the person i am, im usually happy, outgoing and friendly but that person is a little lost right now.

    Hopefully i can kick this feeling soon, so its not all that bad. Just thought that writing it down and having people understand would really be beneficial for me.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,831 ✭✭✭Peanut Butter Jelly


    I just sunk into it for no reason really during the summer of '10. Sat around all day, never did anything, didn't eat much and simply lost the will to live. I've eventually gotten over it, but I fear that it may return. I suppose I'm only one close loss away from falling back in.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,291 ✭✭✭Junco Partner


    christmas is a horrendous time of year, thank god it has left us behind. spent the last 8 or nine days looping through feeling a little bit sad then sinking down to pretty dark moods. being so angry at everything and everyone i could nearly feel myself vibrating. having this lump of all the horrible feelings , the anger the anguish the crushing loneliness, the numbness sitting right at point where my neck meets my chest. this got worse and worse as the week wore on and i couldn't get in touch with the people i feel comfortable pouring this stuff out to at all and i couldn't bring myself to talk to the people who were there willing to listen and asking how i was, stiff upper lip, be a man and all that jazz. so this lump gets bigger and bigger as the week goes on to the point where anger and loneliness are making me feel physically nauseous. New years was the worst. get to work at 11.45 pm, knowing what lay ahead. time ticks ever closer, 11.52, 11.57 11.59, midnight rolls around all my workmates getting phonecalls from loved ones, some of their partners even come in for the midnight kiss. check my phone nothing, from anyone. hours roll by and the texts come in dribs and drabs but still does not reverse how awful and small and unwanted you feel at midnight on nye by yourself. felt so numb at that point i was praying for some drunk to swing his fists at me over the counter i needed a release for it all.

    there that feels better I've just rubbed the lump all over this page, good riddance to it


  • Registered Users Posts: 818 ✭✭✭MauraTheThird


    I got fairly sad again over Christmas. Overthinking things over and over in my head which is exactly what you shouldn't do. I keep "what if"-ing situations. It's pointless, there's nothing I can do to change what's happened. I just want to feel completely ok again. Hopefully going back to college will help.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,812 ✭✭✭Precious flower


    So annoyed at myself over taking my mum's advice and not going on Erasmus because I was afraid of traveling somewhere my myself. Why am I such a coward and when will I ever grow up? I know I'm going to be really depressed during the first semester of third year when everyone's on Erasmus and I'm still traveling into college to do alternative modules. I mean, it was my one chance to not be living at home during college. Every time I think about it I want to kick myself. Everything seems to be going wrong at the moment!:( Why am I so afraid to venture out of my comfort zone? Everyone's having a blast in college except me. College has just made me really depressed. It's like I'm too afraid to experience life and I'll regret that for the rest of my life.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 750 ✭✭✭playedalive


    So annoyed at myself over taking my mum's advice and not going on Erasmus because I was afraid of traveling somewhere my myself. Why am I such a coward and when will I ever grow up? I know I'm going to be really depressed during the first semester of third year when everyone's on Erasmus and I'm still traveling into college to do alternative modules. I mean, it was my one chance to not be living at home during college. Every time I think about it I want to kick myself. Everything seems to be going wrong at the moment!:( Why am I so afraid to venture out of my comfort zone? Everyone's having a blast in college except me. College has just made me really depressed. It's like I'm too afraid to experience life and I'll regret that for the rest of my life.

    Hi! I know how you are feeling. I would have loved to have gone on Erasmus and moved abroad for a year. Like yourself, I always felt that everybody in college was having a better time than me. Sometimes, I have those feelings that I have missed out on so much because of my low Self Esteem and Depression. But, life does get better if you want it to. I'm 22 myself and, since the age of 14/15, I was consistently miserable. It eventually led me to Depression and Anxiety. I never thought I was good enough for people because people in school always talked behind my back and slagged me, my alcoholic father never tried to bond with me and always blamed me for that, and I was confused with my bisexuality (which I am only getting comfortable with now).

    All these problems followed me into college and made my life even more miserable than in school. I found it difficult to make friends, didn't think I was good enough to do any activities and was afraid people would judge me/treat me like s**t. It reached the point that I was so self-destructive that I had to go to my doctor and was diagnosed with depression. With my medication, I've definitely turned a corner. I'm a lot happier and thinking much more clearly; I am more comfortable in my own skin. I stopped hanging around with people who made me feel like crap. I deleted facebook and stopped comparing myself to others on it. Best thing I ever did. Even though people stay to take facebook with a pinch of salt, it can be quite destructive if you see others having fun, going out on the town/abroad/J1 while you are at home with nothing better to do than to study.

    Sorry I know I have gone off topic. But I just wanted to say that you never know what's around the corner and there are always possibilities to travel. I am hoping in September (after my languages degree finishes) to teach English in France or Spain. You are the only one that can truly map out your destiny. I always remember that quote from Vanilla sky that goes something like "Every waking moment is another chance to turn it all around". It is very true.

    Best of luck! :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,812 ✭✭✭Precious flower


    Hi! I know how you are feeling. I would have loved to have gone on Erasmus and moved abroad for a year. Like yourself, I always felt that everybody in college was having a better time than me. Sometimes, I have those feelings that I have missed out on so much because of my low Self Esteem and Depression. But, life does get better if you want it to. I'm 22 myself and, since the age of 14/15, I was consistently miserable. It eventually led me to Depression and Anxiety. I never thought I was good enough for people because people in school always talked behind my back and slagged me, my alcoholic father never tried to bond with me and always blamed me for that, and I was confused with my bisexuality (which I am only getting comfortable with now).

    All these problems followed me into college and made my life even more miserable than in school. I found it difficult to make friends, didn't think I was good enough to do any activities and was afraid people would judge me/treat me like s**t. It reached the point that I was so self-destructive that I had to go to my doctor and was diagnosed with depression. With my medication, I've definitely turned a corner. I'm a lot happier and thinking much more clearly; I am more comfortable in my own skin. I stopped hanging around with people who made me feel like crap. I deleted facebook and stopped comparing myself to others on it. Best thing I ever did. Even though people stay to take facebook with a pinch of salt, it can be quite destructive if you see others having fun, going out on the town/abroad/J1 while you are at home with nothing better to do than to study.

    Sorry I know I have gone off topic. But I just wanted to say that you never know what's around the corner and there are always possibilities to travel. I am hoping in September (after my languages degree finishes) to teach English in France or Spain. You are the only one that can truly map out your destiny. I always remember that quote from Vanilla sky that goes something like "Every waking moment is another chance to turn it all around". It is very true.

    Best of luck! :)

    Oops, only saw this reply now! Looking back at my post and reading yours, I thought I came across as whiny, some people on here have such bigger issues than me. I've dealt with Erasmus and I'm glad I decided not to go. I suppose back when I wrote that post I was down because my college work/grades were not going very well, but I did good in the Christmas exams earlier so that brought back up my spirits. The whole traveling in every day to college had me down too, because I felt my friends were experiencing a freedom I wouldn't get the chance to do and I was thinking it kept me put of some activities too, but I now realise that yes, it does impact on me, but it also down to my laziness which is something I can cure if I try!:pac: Too, I think the fact that I'm not the going-out-to-clubs every night had me down because I thought I was missing out, but I've kind of accepted I'm just not that person and it won't make me happy if I try to act like something I'm not. I mean I like drinking :pac: just not going out to loud noisy places to do it which as a result means I don't drink often!:pac: Thanks for the advice though.:)


  • Registered Users Posts: 713 ✭✭✭Cherry Blossom Girl


    Hey C&Hers,

    I don't know if any of you are aware (I only found out a few minutes ago) but today is Global Self Injury Awareness Day.

    Self injury is something that often goes hand in hand with depression but it's also something that is even more stigmatised and misunderstood than depression itself. Self injury is not sonething to be ashamed of. It's more common than you think. It doesn't neccessarily mean someone is suicidal. Often they are just trying to find some way to expess the pain they feel on the inside. In an effort to remove the stigma surrounding self injury, I used to self harm. I didn't want to die, I just needed some way to express all the hurt I had inside. Mostly I just wanted to gain some sort of control over my emotions. I stopped a long time ago but I'd be lying if I said it never occasionally crossed my mind when things are particularly bad. Since then though I have learned better ways to cope with my negative feelings.

    Self-harm is a coping strategy but it's not a healthy one. If you self-harm or if you've given serious thought to it, please, please, please talk to someone about it. If you know someone who does, be there for them. Encourage them to talk about it. Talk to a friend, an adult you trust, a teacher, guidance counsellor, college counselling service. If you feel like you can't talk to someone in person call a helpline. PM me if you need to. People care. I care. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Self harm and depression are not weird or embarrassing. Don't let them control your life because your life is worth so much more than that.

    Take care guys.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    I posted it in a couple of threads today :) For anyone currently self injuring, just remember talking is the first step.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,965 ✭✭✭SarahBeep!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,291 ✭✭✭Junco Partner


    I've found myself in familiar waters recently. Shaping up to be a bad one too it seems. It's confusing me because for the first time in a long time it seems to be depression for the sake of depression. That unexplainable blackness is something that hasn't really affected me since i was 16/17. Usually there' something that brings it on. Last year I dropped out of college and was facing into a life of minimum wage without much hope of anything more so most of my summer was towering highs and crushing lows. At the start of this year I drank and smoked my way through heartbreak for most of january and february. it was dark and scary but at least I knew why and I worked through it. Back in august things were pretty grim but that was just after a fairly awful family tragedy so it was expected.
    Now though things are really going well. I'm out on my own in the world living in the city, massive circle of friends, great social life, pulling in major cash every week. I can look after my rent, my bills, save money in the credit union college fund and still have cash to have fun with. Not being in college doesn't bother me anymore cause I know I'll be back soon. in fact i've saved enough with the credit union already that i could have got a loan and gone back this year but I decided it would be smart to wait a year and build up the savings so i have a safety net when i do go back. Single life has been a lot of fun with the last 3 months for a man of my average looks been punching well above my level.

    And yet, even with things going as well as they are I still have this emptiness. This horrid black nothing that sits in my chest and slowly drains all my energy and any bit of happiness i have.This bloody disgusting thing I've had passed down to me from my grandad and my dad. I'm not sleeping properly. Having some seriously messed up dreams. I can be sitting there content watching telly or out with friends and then something clicks in my head and in rush all the bad thoughts and that's me miserable for the rest of the night and the whiskey comes out. I can almost see it in my peripheral vision it's so heavy. I can feel it it on my chest. It buzzes in my ear and visits me when i dream. My drinking has picked up again and I've started back on the grass something I left behind months ago. Of course i know that self medication doesn't work but I can't help it.

    People at work have picked up on it too. All week they've been asking me "are you alright you don't seem in the best of form" or "why the big puss"

    And instead of actually talking to any of them about it my answer is always "i'm fine" I'm always "fine" even when I'm really not. Just fine.


  • Moderators, Music Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 6,068 Mod ✭✭✭✭LoonyLovegood


    Would you be as well going to the doctor about it?

    I'm the same way lately. Life is finally going right, I've a good group of friends, amazing housemates, a brilliant boyfriend, college was going right but now I'm down again for no reason. I'm lying in bed all day unable to move, just sleeping and eating. Even getting into the shower is a struggle at the moment. I've been on antidepressants for 4 years, and they were cutting me back. That means I have to spend a weekday in Dublin to get to my GP but the thoughts of having to get a train early in the morning just cuts through me. I'm losing all enjoyment from everything.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 104 ✭✭Jhax


    I was feeling really down during my exams at the start of the summer. I was given 3 weeks prep and I didn't have the motivation to study because I don't like my course and as the pressure of the exams grew worse and worse and the more study I had to do kept piling up I just lost any will to keep going. I managed to get out of the slump though. I realised that I've been going through my whole life without any real goal or dream. I thought about it hard over a few days and decided where I wanted to be in a year's time and what I wanted to do with my life. To get there I needed my degree and all of a sudden I found the motivation to keep going and study and I made it through my exams (barely).

    I think for me depression comes from wandering around with no real purpose or vision set in my mind. Now I have something to work for. I even wrote it down and put it in my bedside locker and look at it whenever I feel tired and it keeps me going. :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 361 ✭✭jazz101


    I had a fair few suicidal episodes in February, after 4 or 5 months of crushing weight, which then sort of subsided beneath the surface until September of this year when it all came back. Over the more suicidal thoughts and plans I had written out now at this stage though. So back up for another trip back down.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,291 ✭✭✭Junco Partner


    So a lot of old stuff has resurfaced in my head and is driving me demented. The fact that it is coinciding with a quiet period in work where everyone's hours are being cut means that I have lots of free time to do nothing but think. Having time to think leads me to dark places. It's been a tough week.


  • Moderators, Music Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 6,068 Mod ✭✭✭✭LoonyLovegood


    Popping this back up, I think it could do with some reading.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,572 ✭✭✭pajor


    Going to bump this shít up.

    Have made an appointment to see a counselor for the first time ever. Too much shít going on in my head 99% of the time. Had tried to see one of the college counselors last February, but never heard anything back before finishing college. That was a real downer. :o

    Woman I'm going to talk with did 'Drugs Awareness' years ago when I was in TY. Was probably the highlight of the year, as it was one of the most fúcking miserable years of my life. Drugs Awareness sounds lame I know but it was good craic; she never lectured us just told us what's what really.

    Appointment isn't for another month, but it's comforting to know that hopefully I'll get some personal demons sorted out.

    To go back to thread title, I've no idea if I have/had depression. I wouldn't be surprised though.


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