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Have you ever had depression?

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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,761 ✭✭✭Lawliet


    Aoifey! wrote: »
    I dunno really, it had crossed my mind before but I dunno.

    It just came as a shock when he said it, I'm never that girl that cries at parties and stuff, I'm the one taking care of them! He said it out of no where too, I wasn't upset or anything at the time, we were just chatting and he asked if I was depressed.
    A depressed person doesn't always have to be upset or even sad, often it manifests as apathy. Have you been behaving differently lately, like losing interest in stuff, trouble concentrating, getting angry easily, getting headaches, chest or any other kind of pains, changes in diet or sleeping pattern (although given that it's Christmas the last two probably aren't the best indicators)


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,571 ✭✭✭Aoifey!


    cloud493 wrote: »
    Would you consider yourself, happy like? Thats a bit of a clinical question mind, but still. Its often those who show the least symptoms, who suffer the worse(not that I'm implying anything about you)

    Honestly, I have no idea :p.

    A lot a shit has been going on in my life lately anyway so everything's sorta all over the place.

    Lawliet wrote: »
    A depressed person doesn't always have to be upset or even sad, often it manifests as apathy. Have you been behaving differently lately, like losing interest in stuff, trouble concentrating, getting angry easily, getting headaches, chest or any other kind of pains, changes in diet or sleeping pattern (although given that it's Christmas the last two probably aren't the best indicators)

    Well my friend said the reason he thinks it is cause a lot of the time I'll just stay in bed and not bother getting up to eat or do...well, anything. Then again, I am very lazy :p. But that has been affecting my health to the stage where I'll just not eat for days.

    I dunno, it could just be a big deal out of nothing, it was just when someone else said it it made me think about it more.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Aoifey! wrote: »
    Honestly, I have no idea :p.

    A lot a shit has been going on in my life lately anyway so everything's sorta all over the place.




    Well my friend said the reason he thinks it is cause a lot of the time I'll just stay in bed and not bother getting up to eat or do...well, anything. Then again, I am very lazy :p. But that has been affecting my health to the stage where I'll just not eat for days.

    I dunno, it could just be a big deal out of nothing, it was just when someone else said it it made me think about it more.

    Well laziness is one thing(I know that) not eating for days is another. If there's a lot of stuff going on.... I dunno. Have you thought of talking to someone?


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,571 ✭✭✭Aoifey!


    cloud493 wrote: »
    Well laziness is one thing(I know that) not eating for days is another. If there's a lot of stuff going on.... I dunno. Have you thought of talking to someone?

    Ah I'll be okay, nothing I can't handle so far, and I'm probably just making a big deal out of nothing.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Not at all. Going and talking to someone is incredibly easy, and if it is nothing, will hardly cost you anytime/money, if it is, you've caught it before it gets worse than it could potentially become.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,571 ✭✭✭Aoifey!


    cloud493 wrote: »
    Not at all. Going and talking to someone is incredibly easy, and if it is nothing, will hardly cost you anytime/money, if it is, you've caught it before it gets worse than it could potentially become.

    Maybe, I dunno, just don't think I'd like to go see someone. I have a fear of even going to the GP so I don't think I'd handle it very well :p.

    Thanks for the advice though, maybe someday I will :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 67 ✭✭SAHMOM


    I have had a flick tru the posters and I'm not sure if my response will have any affect upon the thread.....
    After my dd was born I went tru a year and a half before my dh begged me to see someone. I didn't know that I had pnd but everyone else around me did!!:eek:...I was incrediably moody, short tempered and a nightmare to be around. When I look back now I should have known as I had no intrest in getting up in the morns, when I did I sat on the sofa and only moved when I had too..ie feed or interact with my 2 kids.
    I cried for no reason (I'm general pretty good at contoling my emotions)
    I fought with dh over anything and one occasion lead me to driving off and sitting at the side of the road for an hr crying.
    I went to my GP, he gave me meds and the number for a lovely pro to talk too.
    4 years on and I wish I had sorted it out sooner because I lost that bonding time with my DD as well as with the rest of my family.
    Depression is a state of mind that some people need help with changing. There is nothing wrong with asking for help...meds or talking to a pro about it....It worked for me.
    :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,761 ✭✭✭Lawliet


    SAHMOM wrote: »
    I have had a flick tru the posters and I'm not sure if my response will have any affect upon the thread.....
    This thread would be nothing if people didn't share their experiences! Although would you mind not using so much text talk, I'm having trouble making sense of your post
    Aoifey! wrote: »
    Maybe, I dunno, just don't think I'd like to go see someone. I have a fear of even going to the GP so I don't think I'd handle it very well :p.
    It doesn't have to be a GP, talking to anyone can be a help. Even if you think you're doing okay it's better to be open, you don't want to let things build up


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,298 ✭✭✭Namlub


    I'm not being funny but what's a dd and all that?


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,893 ✭✭✭Davidius


    Namlub wrote: »
    I'm not being funny but what's a dd and all that?
    Dear Daughter, Dear Husband and Postnatal Depression are what I assumed.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 31,823 ✭✭✭✭Mars Bar


    Davidius wrote: »
    Dear Daughter, Dear Husband and Postnatal Depression are what I assumed.

    That's what I gathered too.


  • Registered Users Posts: 67 ✭✭SAHMOM


    :oSorry I'm new on Boards and used to using other Forums which are most parent friendly hence Darling Daughter, Darling Husband etc :)

    Like other posters said talking really does help, GP or someone else. I found it helpful to talk to a women whom I didn't know and felt she didn't make judgements.
    I was also really against using the meds, but they really did help.

    Anyway hoped my input helped :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    How is everyone at the moment?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,810 ✭✭✭Seren_


    cloud493 wrote: »
    How is everyone at the moment?
    Pretty crap. All the stuff I try to keep a lid on is coming out non stop because I'm stressed with exams. And that makes me want to do nothing so I just stay in bed all day. I badly need a rest, so I'm thinking of dropping out of college for reals again, but if I do that it'll make me more isolated and that just makes things worse.

    How are you cloud?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Pretty crap. All the stuff I try to keep a lid on is coming out non stop because I'm stressed with exams. And that makes me want to do nothing so I just stay in bed all day. I badly need a rest, so I'm thinking of dropping out of college for reals again, but if I do that it'll make me more isolated and that just makes things worse.

    How are you cloud?

    If you dropped out of college, would you lose any mates you made in college? Sometimes taking a break is the best thing :)

    And I'm ok. Well not really. I just really need to leave Ireland, I can't stand the constant isolation here, its getting me down so bad. Month 10 of no self harm :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,463 ✭✭✭Leftyflip


    blarrghhhhhhhh.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Leftyflip wrote: »
    blarrghhhhhhhh.

    What's up?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,810 ✭✭✭Seren_


    cloud493 wrote: »
    If you dropped out of college, would you lose any mates you made in college? Sometimes taking a break is the best thing :)

    And I'm ok. Well not really. I just really need to leave Ireland, I can't stand the constant isolation here, its getting me down so bad. Month 10 of no self harm :)

    Do you have to stay here much longer? There's always loads of people here if you feel really isolated, and some forums have meetups that you could go to too.

    Nah, I wouldn't lose any of my closest friends anyway... I don't know what to do. I love my course, but I don't think I'm able for it right now. The only thing holding me back is that I don't think the course will be running next year, so if I leave it I can't go back.
    Leftyflip wrote: »
    blarrghhhhhhhh.

    *hug*


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Do you have to stay here much longer? There's always loads of people here if you feel really isolated, and some forums have meetups that you could go to too.

    Nah, I wouldn't lose any of my closest friends anyway... I don't know what to do. I love my course, but I don't think I'm able for it right now. The only thing holding me back is that I don't think the course will be running next year, so if I leave it I can't go back.



    *hug*

    Nah my familys all in england as well. Not sure why I decided to stay here in the first place, some misguided sense of 'independance' **** that, I'm lonely :P


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭flyswatter



    Nah, I wouldn't lose any of my closest friends anyway... I don't know what to do. I love my course, but I don't think I'm able for it right now. The only thing holding me back is that I don't think the course will be running next year, so if I leave it I can't go back.




    How far are you into your course? Are you close to the end?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,810 ✭✭✭Seren_


    cloud493 wrote: »
    Nah my familys all in england as well. Not sure why I decided to stay here in the first place, some misguided sense of 'independance' **** that, I'm lonely :P

    Has it helped being away from home though? I know you miss your family, but do you think being independent helps you feel a bit more in control? I know it's like that for me, but I hate being dependent on people in general :p
    flyswatter wrote: »
    How far are you into your course? Are you close to the end?

    Just one semester in, and one to go. It's a postgrad. I think I'll keep going with it... I would be worse with nothing to do I think, it's times like that I start thinking too much and then go a bit haywire.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Has it helped being away from home though? I know you miss your family, but do you think being independent helps you feel a bit more in control? I know it's like that for me, but I hate being dependent on people in general :p



    Just one semester in, and one to go. It's a postgrad. I think I'll keep going with it... I would be worse with nothing to do I think, it's times like that I start thinking too much and then go a bit haywire.

    I suppose. But I make bad decisions, thats how I get myself in so many bad situations :P I prefer having someone to 'guide my hand' as it were.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,810 ✭✭✭Seren_


    I get what you mean. If you really want to move home and there's nothing keeping you here, you should do it. Talk it through with someone first though, just so you know you'll have everything sorted when you go back.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Yeah I guess. If you think by the end of your college course, you'll have gained something from it that can help you from move on to the next stage in your life go ahead. If you are just getting frustrated from it, why not take a break, maybe its not for you?


    I took a really bad insult today. Not a good day :(


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,810 ✭✭✭Seren_


    Hope you're okay. There's nothing like somebody insulting you for making you feel like crap. Remember though that that's their opinion, it doesn't need to be yours too.

    I think what I might do is see if I can repeat 2 of the modules in the summer, it'll take a good bit of stress off me, which might help me feel a little better. Stress is one thing that always makes things worse for me, you think I would know to avoid it by now.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,463 ✭✭✭Leftyflip


    cloud493 wrote: »
    What's up?

    The past two weeks of actually feeling something were great, but then I crashed the other night and I'm back to being severely not bothered and feeling, well, empty. FML, year two of this shít...


  • Registered Users Posts: 90 ✭✭jorges


    Well I had a really long post written out but it all got deleted because I had to log myself back in after I posted!

    Em, basically I'm posting here because, while I don't think I suffer from depression I do feel down quite a lot. I don't think really anyone knows though. I'm always getting mocked because I'm constantly smiling but I'm not really that happy. And you see, that's kind of the main gripe I have about posting here. I don't want to devalue all the other posts of people who have truly been through a tough, horrendous time. I don't have a reason to be unhappy. I have a great family who look out for me and thank God, none of them are sick. So I know that everyone thinks I should just stop feeling so sorry for myself. I am trying, I really am. I think I always kind of felt inferior. I was very shy and quiet in national school. I got a good bit of confidence at the end of primary school though. At the end of secondary school, I was meant to be the loudest in my year (very, very small year though, it wasn't hard to be the loudest in all fairness). However, outside the comfort of my own little class I wasn't very confident. Even in the comfort of my class I wasn't very confident but I somehow was able to easily pretend I was and I don't know how.

    A couple of years ago I felt very bad about myself. Particularly about my appearance, which is where it all started really. I know it is so superficial, I know it is wrong to get so caught up in your own appearance. I used to never be able to look myself in a mirror if someone else could see me looking in the mirror. I never, ever looked at photos of myself. I felt bad enough about the way I looked without pictures reinforcing me of how ugly and fat I looked. I used to get ready to go somewhere and then cancel at the last minute because I felt inferior looking to all my friends who are all gorgeous. All this stupid stuff.

    I hated me personally too. I hated my attitude. I pretty much hated every aspect of myself. Like I could list off a hundred things I didn't like about myself and I would not be able to list one solidarity thing I liked about myself. I hated how I could complain about myself so much when I don't have a right too. This is going to sound so horrible but I used to wish something bad would happen to me just so I could have a reason to complain. Thank God, nothing ever did. I don't know how guilty I would feel if something did. It was such a horrible, horrible thing for me to do.

    I took everything anyone said to me personally. Looking back on school now, I notice that a lot of people weren't nice to me and I just blamed myself for it. Yet while I try to be the nicest and kindest person I can because I know what it feels like to feel like crap and I don't wish it on anyone so I try my best to not make others feel bad about themselves, I can't help but feel like I could have been a whole lot nicer. I wish I could go back and help out more.

    I always thought I was the worst at everything. And at a lot of things, I am the worst. There are some things though that I was good at. I was good at running, I used to win community games and sports day at school. I was kind of ashamed of it though. Like I shouldn't be good at that. Now, I wish I kept it on, joined an athletic club or something because I did really like it. I was good at school too. This is going to sound so cocky but I could do better than my classmates in tests that I didn't even really revise for. I remember I deliberately started answering questions wrong in my business tests because I loved business and always done well in it but my friends hated it and used to remark on my grades. It was a stupid thing to do but I didn't like doing well over everyone else because I stood out then and my friends would say mean stuff about me then.

    And now I'm in university. I thought that it would be great that it was a great chance for me to make friends and let go of the people who weren't doing me any favours back home. I'm in semester two now though. Still don't have any friends. I'm lonely every day. I actually, surprisingly like Arts. The subjects are grand. It's everything else that is putting me off. I don't know what I'll do next year. I'm pretty sure my house-mates hate me. I'd say they think I'm weird because I don't have any friends so they feel they have to invite me out with their friends. I can't do that any-more though. I just end up annoying everyone.

    Eek, I think this post is longer than the first one I've written. I'm really, really sorry. I have a relative that suffers from a mental illness and I know that it can be heredity but I don't know. I'm sure no one will read this and I don't blame you! I was rambling so I'm sure my writing is bad. I know I should stop being so self-centred but maybe by writing it down it will have helped? Who knows and sorry again!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,810 ✭✭✭Seren_


    ^ *hugs* You shouldn't be ashamed about the way you feel jorges. And you don't have to compare yourself to other people's experiences of feeling down x

    I really can empathise with a lot of your post, especially the bits about appearance and thinking you're the worst at everything. Studied arts myself too actually :p what subjects are you doing?

    Would you consider getting involved with the athletics club at your college if there is one? If there isn't you could post on the forum for it here (they're all under the Edu heading) and see if anyone is interested in setting one up. Joining a club/soc can help with getting to know people, and exercise also helps lift your mood so it's a win-win situation :) Even if you just started running again yourself, it could be something to work towards. Couch 2 5k is meant to be a great programme for getting back into running.

    Also, as you're in college, there's probably a free counselling service you can avail of if you wanted to. I went to the one in NUIM for most of my undergrad, and they were lovely and so helpful. It can be a great relief to get things off your chest.

    We're always here to rant to as well, C&H is a lovely forum :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,962 ✭✭✭jumpguy


    jorges wrote: »
    However, outside the comfort of my And now I'm in university. I thought that it would be great that it was a great chance for me to make friends and let go of the people who weren't doing me any favours back home. I'm in semester two now though. Still don't have any friends. I'm lonely every day. I actually, surprisingly like Arts. The subjects are grand. It's everything else that is putting me off. I don't know what I'll do next year. I'm pretty sure my house-mates hate me. I'd say they think I'm weird because I don't have any friends so they feel they have to invite me out with their friends. I can't do that any-more though. I just end up annoying everyone.
    Hey jorges, I can relate to a lot of your post, I usually just took stuff like the grade-mocking in secondary school and laughed it off.

    Particularly the university thing though, it's something I found very difficult and not-as-I-expected either (what I expected was instant happiness and to meet new people with little effort). I came up to Galway and was the only one from my hometown to go here. The first semester seemed to be nothing but extreme highs and extreme lows for a while. Meeting so many new people and worrying what they think of you and should you have said this and etc really brought an insane amount of stress - it was outside my comfort zone, but I persevered.

    One thing I've found about Galway (dunno if you're in Galway or not) though is that fellow first-year students are very empathetic and go out of their way to try and include other people, which I was very grateful for, particularly in my first week. My housemates and neighbours invited me out with their friends and although I felt sheepish, I accepted. I highly doubt they hate you, they just know you're up here alone and want to get to know you and include you. Don't take it as pity, if I was ever going to a party (that was kinda for everyone and not like, say, for my class only) I'd invite my housemates unless I thought they were a load of wánkers. So obviously they don't think that! That said, if they turn out to be a bunch of psychopaths or whatever (touch wood), don't do anything silly to fit in.

    First year is hard for a huge amount of people and it's very easy to disguise your misery, so it seems as though everyone's getting along great and you're left behind. A huge amount people come to college with loads of their friends from back home or are from the town where the college is situated and live at home and so have it fairly easy when it comes to meeting friends...because, well, they don't have to.

    If you find it a struggle, really don't be afraid to go to the counsellor at college. They're non-judgemental, well trained, and they see this sort of thing every year and are used to helping students out with it. Having the balls to go could save you a lot of worry and misery. Don't be afraid to talk about it with your family, older siblings and friends (particularly ones who've been through the first-year experience, who are older and more mature) that you trust.

    Best of luck, and feel free to PM me or post here if you've any questions/concerns/want to talk. :)


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  • Registered Users Posts: 90 ✭✭jorges


    ^ *hugs* You shouldn't be ashamed about the way you feel jorges. And you don't have to compare yourself to other people's experiences of feeling down x

    I really can empathise with a lot of your post, especially the bits about appearance and thinking you're the worst at everything. Studied arts myself too actually :p what subjects are you doing?

    Thank you very much. You're really too kind! :) I'm doing English, geography (I hate geography though so I think I will drop that next year).
    Would you consider getting involved with the athletics club at your college if there is one? If there isn't you could post on the forum for it here (they're all under the Edu heading) and see if anyone is interested in setting one up. Joining a club/soc can help with getting to know people, and exercise also helps lift your mood so it's a win-win situation :) Even if you just started running again yourself, it could be something to work towards. Couch 2 5k is meant to be a great programme for getting back into running.
    Well I'd be kind of scared to join an athletics club in college because I could imagine that everyone in it would be already very good and I'd be the slow one lagging behind :P That Couch 2 5k does sound good though. Thanking you most kindly so sending me the link!
    Also, as you're in college, there's probably a free counselling service you can avail of if you wanted to. I went to the one in NUIM for most of my undergrad, and they were lovely and so helpful. It can be a great relief to get things off your chest.

    We're always here to rant to as well, C&H is a lovely forum :)

    Again thank you for replying! I really didn't think anyone would, and if they did reply they would just give out to me! You're super nice!
    jumpguy wrote: »
    Hey jorges, I can relate to a lot of your post, I usually just took stuff like the grade-mocking in secondary school and laughed it off.

    Again, thanks a million for replying :) I can relate to a lot of what you wrote as well, nice to know I'm not the only one feeling this way! I just want to clear up though, it's not really being teased or mocked that affected me. Like I don't mind the insults from my friends! I mean it's just that I saw when others done well in their tests, I saw the girls say some mean things behind their backs and I didn't want them saying stuff like that about me.
    Particularly the university thing though, it's something I found very difficult and not-as-I-expected either (what I expected was instant happiness and to meet new people with little effort). I came up to Galway and was the only one from my hometown to go here. The first semester seemed to be nothing but extreme highs and extreme lows for a while. Meeting so many new people and worrying what they think of you and should you have said this and etc really brought an insane amount of stress - it was outside my comfort zone, but I persevered.

    One thing I've found about Galway (dunno if you're in Galway or not) though is that fellow first-year students are very empathetic and go out of their way to try and include other people, which I was very grateful for, particularly in my first week. My housemates and neighbours invited me out with their friends and although I felt sheepish, I accepted. I highly doubt they hate you, they just know you're up here alone and want to get to know you and include you. Don't take it as pity, if I was ever going to a party (that was kinda for everyone and not like, say, for my class only) I'd invite my housemates unless I thought they were a load of wánkers. So obviously they don't think that! That said, if they turn out to be a bunch of psychopaths or whatever (touch wood), don't do anything silly to fit in.

    Yeah, this a lot like how I feel. I'm in Galway as well. That's why I feel so ashamed though because Galway has the reputation as being such a friendly place, which makes me think there must be a lot wrong with me if I can't fit in here. Like you said, I expected instant happiness and making new friends straight away. I also was nervous about saying and doing the wrong things. About my housemates, they are so nice. I honestly couldn't have asked for better. It's just me, I can't feel comfortable and be as talkative as I am back home. To be honest, I feel sorry for them I don't know if I'd like me if I was my housemate!
    First year is hard for a huge amount of people and it's very easy to disguise your misery, so it seems as though everyone's getting along great and you're left behind. A huge amount people come to college with loads of their friends from back home or are from the town where the college is situated and live at home and so have it fairly easy when it comes to meeting friends...because, well, they don't have to.

    If you find it a struggle, really don't be afraid to go to the counsellor at college. They're non-judgemental, well trained, and they see this sort of thing every year and are used to helping students out with it. Having the balls to go could save you a lot of worry and misery. Don't be afraid to talk about it with your family, older siblings and friends (particularly ones who've been through the first-year experience, who are older and more mature) that you trust.

    Best of luck, and feel free to PM me or post here if you've any questions/concerns/want to talk. :)

    Once again, thank you so so much! I kind of told my mother how I'm kind of finding it hard to make friends but I don't know what else to say to her, I don't want to worry the poor women! A couple of years ago when I was feeling low, I tried to tell my best friend but she just rolled her eyes and said something like "get over it". That's not a direct quote by the way I can't really remember because she mumbled it but that has kind of ever stopped me from complaining again. I feel like I should just get over it. However, apart from that one instance, she really is a very very good friend! I'm not mad at her or anything.

    A huge thanks to all you kind people! It's clubs day tomorrow so maybe I'll join a few sports and see how I get on :) Only thing is I'd be worried going on my own but I just need to give it a shot. Sorry again for a even more lengthy post. I was going to delete some of the quotes but they were both very well-written and I felt everything they said was important. If someone wants to edit it though, please go on ahead!


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