How many people here know someone who committed suicide?

seven_eleven · 06-09-2012 08:36AM

My friend and my distant cousin, as well as a few other people in the town that I wouldnt personally know but Id only know to see or I went to school with etc.

The thing with my friend was that I copped he had problems. I noticed he was depressed, and I did nothing but distance myself from him for nearly a year and a half before he did it. I had suffered from depression myself before so I wanted nothing to do with him at the time. It was quite selfish of me. I guess I never thought he would actually do something like that.

The_Kew_Tour · 06-09-2012 08:45AM

Know of 4 people on my road at home alone. Young and Old.:(

I was in dark place myself last year. Didnt have the courage(not right word in sense, but you understand) to do it.

What really changed it for me was when Gary Speed died last November. I remember I was waiting for bus into town on Navan Road and when I heard it I started to cry. Didnt get on bus, but walked and just realised that its not just me in life who has problems. Never supported any teams he played for, but here was guy who seemingly had it all.

I was going through Health scares and all at time so my mind was in bad way. But my Family and Friends had been awesome at time and now im in better place. Million miles away from where I had been.

I wrote in soccer forum at time that there is help and people do care. But sometimes you have to reach out. Trust me people will listen and to anyone feeling down, but hiding it, I advise you to talk. Dont be afraid. There is no shame in feeling down and this country has great people who can help you. Be that family, friend(s) or somebody else.

ruthloss · 06-09-2012 08:51AM

A local man took his own life with a shotgun. People were speculating that he had financial problems but nobody really knows the truth.
Who knows what awful pain the poor man was suffering to think the only way out was to end it all.

Guill · 06-09-2012 09:01AM

3 close people, over ten when you count people i knew.

Lollipops23 · 06-09-2012 09:07AM

Thankfully I don't know anyone who's committed suicide; some friends of friends etc, but nobody I know well.

I try not to judge, it's not something you can fully understand unless you've been there.

the_syco · 06-09-2012 09:17AM

Know of one. He owed a few grand to dealers, didn't see a way out, and jumped in front of a train. His family would have taken the loan out to pay his debts, but he never asked.

I consider it selfish when people involve other people in their death (in this case the train driver).

af_thefragile wrote: »

It seems like if you're in college here, the only way to be acceptible and have a social life is to go out partying with "the crowd" and get drunk every other day. If you don't do that, very quickly you'll find yourself with no friends and no social life whatsoever...

Just an observation through my years in college...

I find that there are two groups of people in college; those that join a society, and makes friends through that society that you then go drinking with, or those that drink with people from their class and make friends that way. Thus anyone that is in college, I fully recommend that they join a club or (non-alcoholic) society.

OldNotWIse · 06-09-2012 09:18AM

Yup, one

Odysseus · 06-09-2012 09:28AM

Yeah a good few lads I grew up with had gone that way, also due to the nature of my work I loose a few clients every year.

06-09-2012 09:29AM

I always boggle at the mentality of people who condemn it as selfish because "how will their families feel". This person is so depressed, so much in pain, and so much on the edge they want to overcome that innate instinct to hang on to their lives, and all you're concerned about is how you feel. That is selfish.

No, I don't know someone who did, but I did talk someone out of it a long time ago.

I also didn't do it by complaining "but how will I feel?"

Lawrence1895 · 06-09-2012 09:30AM

Somebody, I went to school with, took his own life. He went down the Route66 with his Harley, and left a message behind, that he had nothing to look forward to anymore.

mickstupp · 06-09-2012 09:36AM

One friend. I was in the pub with him, playing pool, a couple of hours before he did it. It was strange, first time he was sober and not on some sort of drugs for a good five or six months. He seemed happy that day. Besides him, a very distant relative. Plenty of people who friends/relatives know.

On the selfishness point... I think people harping on about it is pretty terrible. I can't speak for others, obviously, but whenever I was suicidal or depressed, remarks about the selfishness of the act just drove me further into myself, into hiding what I was going through. I already felt so much misplaced guilt that remarks like that just made me feel even more needlessly ashamed and miserable.

Surprisingly enough, it doesn't help the issue.

When people point out the selfishness of the act, it can feel very much like an accusation when your brain isn't rightly screwed in. It's a judgement on you before you've even done anything. You're being made feel guilty on top of everything else. When we're lucid and fine, sure, we can see it's selfish, of course it is. But the way it's said very often feels so dismissive and judgmental, completely lacking in empathy. I know it's not usually said like that... but that's how it can feel.

Podgers · 06-09-2012 09:59AM

I know 3 people close to me (2 within the last year)

I could never understand why someone would commit suicide until I found myself in the position of attempting it. you know its wrong and selfish but you don't think like that, its like a one track vision. you cant help how you feel and just want the pain to end, you don't see any way out. I didn't tell anyone only my counsellor.

You only get one chance with life, but many times to re-create it. I sat down one evening at the table with a blank page and a pen, this is my canvas if I start all over again with nothing what would i like to do? places I would like to go to, a sort of a bucket list. so far within a year i have done more things than I had done in the previous 10 years. I look back every now and again and think that if i did go ahead with suicide all the things I would have missed out on, family events, new friends I have met and places I have gone to.

as Lance Armstrong said "Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever."

TURRICAN · 06-09-2012 10:02AM

I lost a close friend,and a work mate.
Never saw the latter one coming. Sometimes it's the ones who you think are fine are the ones with the bigger problems.

flyswatter · 06-09-2012 10:07AM

I can't really think of anyone surprisingly.

There was a brother of a friend from school who did but he wasn't one of my closest friends so I only found out from another friend last year.

TURRICAN · 06-09-2012 10:11AM

ruthloss wrote: »

A local man took his own life with a shotgun. People were speculating that he had financial problems but nobody really knows the truth.
Who knows what awful pain the poor man was suffering to think the only way out was to end it all.

That's one thing gets on my nerves is people speculating etc.
Doesn't matter , it's too late.
Why didn't they try see if they could be a better person to him /her in the first place, then they probably wouldn't have had to speculate.

Alot of Irish mentality needs to change.

fox_1973 · 06-09-2012 10:16AM

Brother in law and a very close friend, in the space of 3 months of each other, neither would of been seen as depressed, money worries mostly

irishgrover · 06-09-2012 10:20AM

my wifes college roommate, who was also our bridesmaid. A wonderful person who took her own live almost 7 years ago.

rainbow kirby · 06-09-2012 10:24AM

Neighbour killed herself 6 years ago and took her children with her in the process.

eviltwin · 06-09-2012 10:29AM

I lost a friend to suicide 7 years ago. I was out with her the night before in the pub and everything was fine, she gave me a hug as I was going to the bus and told me she would call me later in the week and the next morning I was woken by a call to say she had taken an overdose. I have no idea to this day why and that's the hardest part. Thinking we might have been able to help her if only we had known.

06-09-2012 10:32AM

I know a lot of people who have either tried, or succeeded, in taking their own lives. It's something that has been on my door step too many times.

For those who think it's selfish, it's usually quite the opposite, people who are in that state often think they are doing their loved ones a favour.

Kenno90 · 06-09-2012 10:42AM

I think the vast majority of people know someone who tried and/or succeeded.

An old girlfriend lost one of her friends and a neighbour killed himself. I didn't know the girl but I knew the neighbour.

He was well liked and was known all around the town, he had two small children. His funeral was honestly one of the saddest days of my life

Kenno90 · 06-09-2012 10:45AM

rainbow kirby wrote: »

Neighbour killed herself 6 years ago and took her children with her in the process.

My god that's terrible , was it on the news or anything like that.

Edit* On second thought don't post any links , its disrespectful

Lelantos · 06-09-2012 10:57AM

3 schoolfriends many years ago, all within the space of a couple of months. And only last week a man who i would talk to for an hour or so when he called in to me. Split from his partner & no access to his children & he spiralled into depression

Noxin · 06-09-2012 11:06AM

I know two.

One last year that was a real shocker. When you spoke with this chap or were out for a brew with him you would never have imagined it. Happy crazy nutter who just liked to enjoy himself and did so... or so we thought...
Just goes to show you that it can be near impossible tell what is going on in someones head.

Other was many moons a go. She was a very hot and lovely person who had a lot going for her. Studying law.. very intelligent, young, like I said, very attractive and lots of fun. Again, never would have imagined it.

Neither were my extremely close friends, as in those who I hang out with every week so it makes me wonder if the signs were visible to those who were that close to them.

Agricola · 06-09-2012 11:11AM

Two lads I went to school with committed suicide. We started secondary together. One of them went onto college with me. I only saw him now and again but I clearly remember one of those times being in the run up to Christmas exams. I met him in the library and we were talking about holdays. I thought it odd that he didnt seem to be looking forward to them and then he said he would probably stay in his flat over Christmas, didnt really want to go home. Didnt see him again after that and 6 months later I got a call from another old school friend to say he was gone. Could'nt believe it.

kerry4sam · 06-09-2012 11:14AM

will.i.am wrote: »

Well I know of a few in my home town in the past couple of years and earlier this year a cousin of mine that I went to school with from play school up until 3rd year. We were different people and never really clicked and he went down the the wrong path. I feel sorry for his family tough I say his mother and grandmother for the first time last week and by speaking to them for just a few minutes I knew there were different people. I then started think of all the people I met at my first year in college and almost everyone of them had being effected by a suicide.
So, how many people out there has affected by a suicide?

I have lost a few friends to suicide and I know 'of' more but would have known them well.

I've studied the area of suicide and reasoning for and lead up behaviours etc after a really close friend committed suicide years ago and seriously don't think even attempted-suicide is understood by society or that even some of those who should be aware of reasons for same are educated enough in the area. I am not up-to-date with stats in the area but jeez, it just seems to be happening more and more of late.

nikkibikki · 06-09-2012 11:14AM

2 uncles, opposite sides of family. 18 years ago and 5 years ago. My Dads family have been hit with many tragedies over the years and his brother being uparalysed in an accident, confined to a wheelchair and subsequently taking his own life was one of them. Worst phone call he ever had to make wad to me in Oz just over 12 years later with the news that my Mam's brother had taken his own life. It never leaves the loved ones left behind. Heartbroken over both uncles and will be always.

To anyone contemplating anything like this, please don't. Please reach out to ur friends/family/ counsellors for help. It is not a sign of weakness but of strength to seek help. A good friend of mine suffers from anxiety and depression and I keep telling her how well she's doing and how proud she should b of herself as she is getting help and dealing with her issues.

There's a few more that I wouldn't have known as well. A teenage neighbour when we were younger, 15 years old. Devastated the place. His whole school practically turned up to his funeral n some of his close friends went mad as lots never even spoke to him when he was alive. Nice guy, quiet but very witty! Another was my good friends ex whom she was still friendly with. He had visited her d weekend before n was in great form she said. A few more young and old local guys too. Depression is an illness as deadly as cancer.

books4sale · 06-09-2012 11:25AM

gsxr1 wrote: »

Young lad who worked with me. Only 17 and he was found swinging from the ceiling . I wish I copped on that he was so depressed . Was stairing me in the face but I choose to ignore it.
I cant forget him after 6 years.

Its a bad selfish act which leaves nothing but lifelong pain for parents, family and friends.

Nasty stuff.

I once saved a lad trying to leap of a bridge . Over a woman. He went on to be quite successful in life. But does not know me..

Shows how little you know about suicide, its victims and the underlying problems. As you admit 'I wish I copped on'

If you had problems you might understand, you wouldn't be on here making stupid comments.

As for saving the lad from the bridge, you effing hero, big yourself up there, the world revolves around you doesn't it?

anncoates · 06-09-2012 11:30AM

Two: one close friend and one family member.

They left unimaginable pain behind them but It's wrong and insensitive to voice any anger towards them for "being selfish".

It's only heartbreaking that they felt that was the only option they had and assigning blame is not going to bring them back although god knows I wish with all my heart there was a way to bring them back.

06-09-2012 11:35AM

I've known 2 people who've committed suicide.
Devastated both families.

How many people here know someone who committed suicide?

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