How many people here know someone who committed suicide?

whatdoicare

I know personally two people who committed suicide, one friend who was murdered and I live not far from where a group of kids committed suicide in a pact.

hairyprincess

Way too many.

Two who were very close to me, one 5 months ago the other 3 years ago. And my heart still hurts every time I think of them and wonder what was going through their heads, the loneliness they felt.

It is a massive problem for our country

nlgbbbblth

Frito wrote: »

Just a quick point as I don't want to derail thread in any way, I believe the terms 'died by suicide' and 'completed suicide' are preferred over 'committed suicide' for reasons of empathy and destigmatisation (not trying to nitpick here). I think the media are also urged to use these terms in reporting such events.

For people bereaved by suicide, support can be found at console.ie

The media rarely report suicides. It's usually some intelligence-insulting bullsh*t like "died in tragic circumstances" or "died tragically" etc.

Six people.

will.i.am

nlgbbbblth wrote: »

The media rarely report suicides. It's usually some intelligence-insulting bullsh*t like "died in tragic circumstances" or "died tragically" etc.

Six people.

This happens to spare families the pain of known there lived one died by suicide!

pragmatic1

I only personally knew one person but loads of people from my area have killed themselves. I actually understand how it seems like an option for people, life can be very hard and the human mind can go to some really dark places.

mariano rivera

Poem by Simon Armitage

I Say, I Say, I Say

Anyone here had a go at themselves
for a laugh? Anyone opened their wrists
with a blade in the bath? Those in the dark
at the back, listen hard. Those at the front
in the know, those of us who have, hands up,
let’s show that inch of lacerated skin
between the forearm and the fist. Let’s tell it
like it is: strong drink, a crimson tidemark
round the tub, a yard of lint, white towels
washed a dozen times, still pink. Tough luck.
A passion then for watches, bangles, cuffs.
A likely story: you were lashed by brambles
picking berries from the woods. Come clean, come good,
repeat with me the punch line ‘Just like blood’
when those at the back rush forward to say
how a little love goes a long long long way.

CSSE09

I didn't know anyone personally but 2 people in secondary and 1 in college. Very very sad, very young people, 14, 17 and 20 if I remember correctly. The first was the day back after mid term, walked in the door and could see students and teachers in floods of tears, this happened again two months later.

Over the last few weeks I volunteered to make a new replacement website for a medium sized charity that provides 24 hour emergency phone lines for people that need help and also support and counselling for friends and family.
I went in to it thinking if it helps one person then it was time well spent and seeing all of your posts makes me wish I could do more.

If anyone who reads this is in a bad place please talk to someone, whether it's a friend, family or one of the free supports available - you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Wattle

Attempted it twice myself a very long time ago and still have the scars. I found that my cycle of depression didn't substantially improve until I gave up alcohol. When I look at the statistics for suicide and for those suffering from depression and how drink crazed our society is I can't help but think well no wonder.

Intensive Care Bear

Yeah i have a friend who hung himself last year, such a gentleman, its painful when you loose someone in such circumstances but i would never stand for anyone calling him a coward for choosing to end his life.

Tombo2001

GarIT wrote: »

I suppose thats different, but from being there the worst thing that could possibly happen is to end up talking to someone who is pretneding to care just to make a profit.

I think its a bit cynical to say that counsellors are just there to make a profit.....

Anyway, a lot of counsellors operate on a free gratis basis. St Annes Church on Dawson street run a free grief counselling service and my own personal experience of it was really good.

weldoninhio

ahnowbrowncow wrote: »

Yeah it is, but circumstances aren't the same for every everyone. Someone who brought vulnerable kids into the world and is responsible for taking care of them, how is it not selfish when he just leaves them and not only without an income and a father but also a massive debt hindering their future

Would the lifecover on the mortgage not have paid out to cover the whole of the mortgage??

If he had died of cancer, would that have been selfish?? Depression is as much of a disease as cancer!! I know that the times i've tried to take my own life, it was not something i though through and though f*@k everyone else, this is what i want to do, it was more something i didn't think about i just went for. When I was at my worst i spent every second wondering why i was alive.

My last thought before i went to bed was please let me die in my sleep and every morning i woke up i was disappointed. All day, every day, all i could think was that life was pointless, i didn't want to be there and there was no way out. Every second of every waking hour of every single day for months on end. It is an absolute living hell.

mikemac1

weldoninhio wrote: »

Depression is as much of a disease as cancer!!

Was there some TD from Donegal who called suicide cases selfish bastards?

Well that's his opinion, ok he said it and he believes it

But he was a doctor too with his own GP practice!

rogieop

All too close to home. Funnily enough in the months afterwards this song playd on my ipod on shuffle.

Id never heard it play once, or if i did i took no notion and skipped it.

Listen to it a lot nowadays, dunno how, but it puts a smile on my face and definitely helped me through the early stages of grieving.

Tombo2001

nlgbbbblth wrote: »

The media rarely report suicides. It's usually some intelligence-insulting bullsh*t like "died in tragic circumstances" or "died tragically" etc.

Six people.

its a euphemism that the press uses out of sensitivity, I wouldnt hold that against them.

By and large, if someone commits suicide then its a personal affair, its a family affair.....as opposed to a something that is newsworthy for the general public. There are exceptions, such as David Kelly. But by and large, I think its none of the publics business. Why should it be.

Look at the death notices......do you think any family puts in "died by killing themself". They dont, they say "died tragically".

Tisserand

I tried to take my own life back in early summer of this year. My financial situation is dire and I couldn't take any more. A family member discovered me 'in time' as everybody says, however, I just wish I hadn't been found, and allowed to die. I spent 10 days in a psychiatric hospital and let home again on tablets. I live alone - nobody offered to stay with me when I came home or offered to put me up, even for a few nights. I was absolutely still in bits and could have done it again and still feel suicidal as my financial circumstances are still the same and I can't seem to improve my situation. The only lesson I have learned from this is that the next time I try it, I will make sure I won't be found.

Tombo2001

Its interesting that so many of the posts are "my cousin", "my friend", "guy i knew in college/work/school".......as opposed to very few for "my son/daughter/ brother/ sister".

Its a difficult subject. Obviously people think about it as a societal issue, but like a lot of other things in life, I dont think people really, really think about it until it happens in their own family. It can be a difficult thing to accept, even years and years later. Difficult to move away from the guilt, the blame. Leaves a big hole. And not something that is easily discussed.

steddyeddy

Tisserand wrote: »

I tried to take my own life back in early summer of this year. My financial situation is dire and I couldn't take any more. A family member discovered me 'in time' as everybody says, however, I just wish I hadn't been found, and allowed to die. I spent 10 days in a psychiatric hospital and let home again on tablets. I live alone - nobody offered to stay with me when I came home or offered to put me up, even for a few nights. I was absolutely still in bits and could have done it again and still feel suicidal as my financial circumstances are still the same and I can't seem to improve my situation. The only lesson I have learned from this is that the next time I try it, I will make sure I won't be found.

Wheter or not you know mate people do care. A lot of us are very bad at expressing it though. You are not the sum of your debts or your bank account. Please dont limit your worth to either because theres a lot more than that too be happy about.

j1d2c3

To state emphatically that such an issue is black or white is pretty ignorant. Opinion is really all that can be offered here. In mine, I would say that most don't so it for selfish reason.
However some might in a perhaps drunken upset state commit suicide to hurt someone who has hurt them.
I have heard that the majority of unsuccessful suicide attempts have since receiving treatment admitted that they were glad the attempt failed. I feel that this might suggest that these people didn't give full consideration to all factors before the attempt. Following that, Its easy to understand how not considering fully the impact on all those around you might be construed as selfishness.
Of course many are so deeply mentally affected that they can't be expected to think of anyone else. However, there must be some rushed into it without fully considering the impact on other people.
I don't think its correct to say either that some element of selfishness does not factor in any suicide anywhere. Also incorrect, is to say with regard to one specific case that "that was a selfish thing to do".

Tombo2001

mikemac1 wrote: »

Was there some TD from Donegal who called suicide cases selfish bastards?

Well that's his opinion, ok he said it and he believes it

But he was a doctor too with his own GP practice!

Do you think an Irish GP who qualified 40 years ago would be well versed in the field of Mental Health?

j1d2c3

Tombo2001 wrote: »

Its interesting that so many of the posts are "my cousin", "my friend", "guy i knew in college/work/school".......as opposed to very few for "my son/daughter/ brother/ sister".

Its a difficult subject. Obviously people think about it as a societal issue, but like a lot of other things in life, I dont think people really, really think about it until it happens in their own family. It can be a difficult thing to accept, even years and years later. Difficult to move away from the guilt, the blame. Leaves a big hole. And not something that is easily discussed.

With regard to ever specific suicide theres usually a lot more people in the "cousin/Friend/person I knew" bracket than the latter. This would explain why most reponses relate to the former

rogieop

For what its worth, id just like to point out an organisation called "sosad" i know they have offices in the north east, Drogheada / louth, think they might have some in cavan and other places too.

For anyone struggling personally or knows anyone struggling, either with depression or dealing with someones suiide etc etc, they are an absolutely fantastic group.

I live with someone who has been effected badly by suicide, it was horrible having to live with them, eventually got them to sosad for counselling and in the last year the turnaround has been absolutely unbelievable.

I couldnt thank them enough, not only for the work they did with this person but for the effect it in turn had on mine.

for what its worth

http://www.sosadireland.ie/

Stheno

Three that I was friendly with, a work colleague and two friends of either myself or the OH. At least another 20-30 that I knew of, or who lived where I did at various times.

A family member took an overdose at one point but was found and got treatment.

When I was about ten, I came across what I thought was a crash, it was someone who had parked up near a river, and slashed their wrists, I ran for help they got treatment, but I remember thinking for weeks after I'd overheard the adults talk about it, that they must hate me as I'd prevented them killing themselves. I was only about nine or ten at the time.

Cee-Jay-Cee

I knew two people who took their own lives, both were in their teens and both were spur of the moment acts over ridiculously minor things that those people over reacted to.

donegal_road

I know many, from an 80 year old woman to a 19 year old lately

sadie06

Tisserand wrote: »

I tried to take my own life back in early summer of this year. My financial situation is dire and I couldn't take any more. A family member discovered me 'in time' as everybody says, however, I just wish I hadn't been found, and allowed to die. I spent 10 days in a psychiatric hospital and let home again on tablets. I live alone - nobody offered to stay with me when I came home or offered to put me up, even for a few nights. I was absolutely still in bits and could have done it again and still feel suicidal as my financial circumstances are still the same and I can't seem to improve my situation. The only lesson I have learned from this is that the next time I try it, I will make sure I won't be found.

Please, please reach out for help. http://www.pieta.ie/urgent-suicide-help.html

http://www.mabs.ie/

I can say no more. Don't give up!

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

Dostoevsky

Very valuable thread. I really forget how many people closely related to people I know/work with took their lives in the past two years, but it's around 15 and I think all of them were male.
Then there are the people who constantly worry that the next suicide attempt of their, usually female, relative will be successful.

The consequences live on, and I'm always checking on certain people that they're not losing hope. I've definitely become a more loving, sensitive and compassionate person, but I fear some people will break in the next few months because they just can't take it any more. Some people just need buckets of love and kindness to get them through certain phases of life. If I were to choose one societal factor in much of this it's addiction, usually to alcohol, and how it creates loneliness, unhappiness and most critically hopelessness in people's lives.

We can all make little changes in how we treat people: be kinder, say kind things rather than nasty things, smile at that stranger in the shop or on the street, say encouraging things rather than discouraging things, be sensitive to people not being as emotionally strong as you, try and cut down on the bitchy comments about people and make the place where you live or work a nicer, kinder place for others to be. Kindness matters.

j1d2c3

Tisserand wrote: »

I tried to take my own life back in early summer of this year. My financial situation is dire and I couldn't take any more. A family member discovered me 'in time' as everybody says, however, I just wish I hadn't been found, and allowed to die. I spent 10 days in a psychiatric hospital and let home again on tablets. I live alone - nobody offered to stay with me when I came home or offered to put me up, even for a few nights. I was absolutely still in bits and could have done it again and still feel suicidal as my financial circumstances are still the same and I can't seem to improve my situation. The only lesson I have learned from this is that the next time I try it, I will make sure I won't be found.

To be honest I think phrases like "things will get better" and "stay strong" although well intentioned might not offer any support.
One tip would be to start small, get the quick wins out of life, take a walk outside, admire scenery. Pick a news item, read it and then try to read up further to develop a knowledge on it. Start with small easy objectives, exisitng bigger things might start to seem a bit more manageable and other small and big things will pop up along the way. Mightn't work, but might aswell, and not much to be lost from trying.

Ledger

I know of people from the area who have committed suicide in the past. In fact there was someone my brother played soccer with who killed himself at the weekend. Really shocked when I heard.

A friend of mine was in a really bad place about a year and a half ago, when he got really bad he spent a couple of weeks in a psychiatric ward. He's told us since that he had contemplated suicide. In a way it is bad and good to hear, bad because he was in such a bad mental state that it seemed the only way out. Good because he had not gone through with it, and was still here to tell us after.

Just like others have said, the attitude of some people towards depression and suicide/self-harming is what has a lot of people thinking that they cannot share their problems with their friends or family. My father has suffered from depression in the past and my sister is suffering from it at the moment, brought even further down by the breakup of her marriage.

It is so hard to watch someone suffer through this awful illness. Knowing there is not much more you can do but being there for them and always being available to talk or even just listen so they can vent their problems at you.

Tisserand

I think a lot can be learned from people who have tried taking their own lives but didn't succeed. This was my experience and the feeling that nobody really cared anyway, in the weeks and months afterwards, that nearly drive me to do it again, rather than the reasons that drove me to attempt suicide in the first place. I was diagnosed with cancer six years ago and the reaction to that and my suicide attempt were so different, it was staggering. The day I got my cancer diagnosis, I couldn't see the door with well-wishers, people bring flowers, I got hundreds of get well cards and mass bouquet cards in the following days and weeks until my surgery and nearly needed a secretary to answer the phone, so many people were ringing me. When I was admitted to hospital I was worn out with visitors not to mention when I came home. My neighbours bent over backwards to do things for me, cutting the grass and such like.

On the otherhand, when I tried suicide, I had my family sneaking into the hospital in case anybody saw them coming into the psychiatric department. Not one single get well or mass bouquet card. When I was discharged 10 days later, nobody stayed with me, nor did anybody invite me to stay with them. FIVE days later, one of my sisters texted me to see how I was. It has been very difficult over the last few months - when I am with my family and friends, the subject is never brought up, like it never happened and like I had something minor like a throat infection!

I am not writing this to garner pity - I am just stating how mental health is dealt with by society. If you can call my situation mental health. I am not psychiatrically ill, just couldn't cope with being unemployed and having no money yet, somehow, my family and friends think that this was not enough reason to attempt suicide, however, it was real enough for me and it wasn't a spur of the moment decision, I gradually descended into a mire of depression over some months.

Can anybody who is reading this who thinks somebody they know might be experiencing similar feelings, please please get involved. I hate this expression that one hears so often i.e. 'I don't want to get involved'. It's when people don't get involved that people die. Wade in there, take hold and take control. Even with the person resists it. Depression is not logical beast. If somebody does not succeed in their suicide attempt and is discharged from hospital, please please make sure they are not on their own. Please make the person feel loved and wanted and not alone. It's no good after the event saying that you cared but didn't know how to show it. You show it now while the person is alive and has the chance to get better.