Time For A Bit of Forum Feedback

Dr Galen wrote: »

Have the Mods (including me, I think I'm the longest here) always handled such topics as well as they could have - No

I think one good and recent example was the thread started by representatives of a Feminist blog who wanted to 'research' male attitudes twoards Feminism. I don't know if they PM'ed this intention to the tGC moderators prior to doing so, but certainly they did not reveal this to the posters until after they published their resulting blogpost.

Needless to say, those who contributed to this 'research' were pretty pissed at such duplicit behaviour, not to mention the complete misrepresentation of what was said and responded with ire. This obviously was not what the OP's sought so they requested that the thread be closed, which the moderators duly did.

Yes, that's right; someone starts a thread, is less than open about why, promotes their own blog-site, misrepresents what was actually said in the thread and rather than getting banned or even infracted, are assisted by the moderators to silence their critics.

Have Posters (everyone else) always handled such topics as well as they could have - No

Absolutely. There is a tendency for these threads to end up going around in circles. My personal bugbear is nonsense such as men being being 'discriminated' against by women (who won't sleep with them) because they're not attractive, which serves only to devalue valid claims in the same way as parallel nonsensical claims of discrimination against women serves only to devalue valid claims there.

However there does appear to be a marked difference between how men's rights and other threads are dealt with here - the 'easy on the eye' or 'online dating' would have been closed down months ago if they were treated the same way.

To my mind, if both the Mods and Posters can be on the same page here, with less of the circular arguments, trench digging and sniping happening, along with stronger, more watchful Moderation, then I have no doubt that some worthwhile conversations can be had. This will mean an extra time effort required by the Forum Mods, I'm cool with that. We'll have a chat, as it will likely be best to add some extra heads to the team there as well to help facilitate. We absolutely should not be afraid of tackling some tough issues here, that does not mean though that those with an axe to grind or a bug to bear should have carte blanche to say and post as they feel.

I hope what you say is true, but I've heard similar claims from the moderators, both privately and publicly, in the past, only to see examples such as above subsequently take place.

This is why I suggested that an option would be to 'cut loose' men's rights issues from tGC. If it continually is moderated differently to other topics, betraying an unease on the part of the moderators to have it here in the first place, then perhaps it is best for all that it is spun out into it's own forum. Ideally, it should be here, but if such skewed policy continues, then its best for all concerned that it's not.

Piliger wrote: »

I also find it quite astonishing to discover that TGC has a female Mod. I cannot imagine a Women's Forum having a male Mod. It would never happen. Another sign that Men's issues are not treated with respect.

I'm sorry, but I find the idea of making tGC, or mods thereof, male-only to be as foolish as any female-only criteria and indicative of a gender-based us versus them paranoia.

The attitudes that promote discrimination against men are ultimately not tied to any one gender. Many of the most ardent Feminists who will post here that discrimination against men is a myth are actually male and as bad, if not worse, are those men who dismiss men's rights on the basis of patriarchal prejudices and values (e.g. "Man up! Of course women have greater rights to children, it's their job!").

Ultimately women have fathers, brothers, partners and - especially - sons that they care for. Just as few men today would not support women's rights because they fear for the World their daughters will grow up in, I doubt that many women would not do likewise for fear of the future rights their sons will have, or not.

If memory serves, this forum began as a male heath forum and later expanded to encompass male related issues in general (whether the comparison is welcome or not, tGC is a male equivalent - note I didn't say the same - of tLL).

As such men's health, 'metrosexual' topics, men's rights and a myriad of other topics should be part of this forum - and treated equally. And if you don't like or have no interest in men's rights, then do as others do with topics they have no interest in - don't click the thread link.

Dravokivich wrote: »

the online dating thread has become a review/comments section for people to talk about what dates they have coming up or how any they have been on went. This then means it's not a discussion about "online dating" from anyone's perspective at all, but makes it more of a gossip thread about who's dating and sort of a support base for people who's dates didn't go so well.

What's wrong with that, though? It's a natural extension of a discussion on online dating - how the dates themselves are going.

Be nice to see an end to the cheap-shot throwing of "feminist" as a derogatory term towards people who may not even be feminists and are merely challenging thinly veiled attacks against woman and "Life is terrible for men, so easy for women" rhetoric (while not denying men do face discrimination/bias/unfairness in some areas).

Onixx wrote: »

Be nice to see an end to the cheap-shot throwing of "feminist" as a derogatory term towards people who may not even be feminists and are merely challenging thinly veiled attacks against woman and "Life is terrible for men, so easy for women" rhetoric (while not denying men do face discrimination/bias/unfairness in some areas).

You're always going to get people who are going to go over the top or resort to low-brow clichéd arguments and they're going to get moderated.

However, there's good reason why 'Feminist' has become a derogatory term and there is a fine line between "thinly veiled attacks against women" and effective censorship of any criticism of Feminism (especially as they are not synonyms). After all, only a few years ago most would note even have acknowledged that men might face discrimination / bias / unfairness in any area and a large part that even this is now discussed comes from that criticism.

Varied wrote: »

I think it's a great forum.

I don't understand the gripes about the online dating thread though, just because some people have different opinions that others don't like, it should be shut down? Nonsense tbh. If you don't like it then don't frequent it.

Also, please dont shut down the 'easy on the eye' thread, its great.

Its not that people have different opinions thats the problem with the OD thread though.

It was originally started for people to talk about their experiences with it.

Its now morphed into a cycle of

Loads of women are too fussy.

Loads of men send filth.

I hate profiles that have things like X,Y,Z in them.

Any dates this weekend.

I cant get any replies.

Which sites are best.

Rinse and repeat ad nauseum,its just plain tiresome.

As for the easy on the eye thread,it serves no purpose whatsoever.It adds nothing to the forum and as I said previously it is a pointless thanks whoring exercise.

Of the regular contributors to the EOTE thread,how many of them post in any other threads in tGC,next to none,thats how many.

tbh wrote: »

Well my 2c on that is that it does help to foster a sense of community, so what harm? You may get posters who post in that thread exclusively for a bit and then start to explore the rest of the forum. If you move the thread elsewhere, you lose the chance of that happening. There should be a defined reason for losing that possibility - maybe the thread is a lot of hassle to mod, I don't know, but personally I wouldn't move it if the only reason for moving it is that its not male only.

we haven't seen much of that happening tho, tbh tbh. what we have seen, and what regular forum users have complained about, is an influx of sleaze and perviness and pick-up attempts which is making people uncomfortable. we drew up a tight set of rules specifically for that thread to manage it but still a certain amount gets through. it's not everyone on the thread obviously, but a small handful can cause a lot of unpleasantness and hassle.

Snoopy1 wrote: »

I tried posting on online dating a few times, but just found people on there to be so negative, when ive only had posotive experiences.

Reading through the last five pages of it now for the first time and from what I can see, it seems to be a pretty general, non-gender specific, debate on online dating about 20% of the time, with the other 80% devoted to subtle and not-so-subtle attempts to flirt with the other posters.

I find the know your clubbers post boring. Its the same women (usually) posting pictures of themselves.

Again just going through that now and I'll have to say I found it odd to say the least. Most of the posters are actually women (with one female poster repeatedly posting pics of herself) and beyond that I can't really see much point in the thread beyond some narcissistic need to get 'thanked' to build up their self esteem akin to why people put their pictures up on 'hot or not' Web sites.

This may sound a little naive, especially given my age and - ahem - history, but does tGC get a lot of women who are really just looking to check out (and potentially hook up with) the men here?

Maguined wrote: »

Don't really see the problem with it myself, I think it does more good than harm.

I'm not really attacking either thread, although I would question their relevance to tGC. Ultimately as I said earlier, if you've no interest in a thread, don't click the link.

Snoopy1 wrote: »

I'm female and I Think the easy on the eye thread is harmless. We've one on the ladies lounge.

It's one thread I never, ever click into, either in TLL or TGC.

It just seems completely pointless and stupid, and gives a bad impression of both forums for newcomers - makes it all seem very shallow, or something?

Like, how can people give out about objectifying members of the opposite sex, when allowing these threads in a forum is totally fine?

I don't know, they just seem pointless to me.