The 'Catholic house decoration' game

Squ · 17-07-2012 09:20AM

Mintoz wrote: »

pontia wrote: »

for people who seem to believe in nothing you spend a lot of time giving out/abusing taking the piss out of catholics,strange you dont do same to muslims,you afraid there might be a backlash ?

I know, tell me about it. You think this 'New athiesm' would be around but for 9/11?

Really think you're missing the point here.

A lot of irish folk were brought up in a family where the most important thing was how everything looked from the outside in.

My own wifes father was first in the church every sunday, had all the religious tat on display in the house for all to see, yet she and her siblings would call him (for reasons that are none of your business) a "street angel, house devil").

Now, the difference between the average irish catholic and muslims, buddists, hindus is that they for the most part ACTUALLY BELIEVE in their respective religions.

Now, back On topic, my mother in law put a padre pio sticker on my windscreen without asking me, whats that worth?

TwoShedsJackson · 17-07-2012 01:00PM

Squ wrote: »

Now, back On topic, my mother in law put a padre pio sticker on my windscreen without asking me, whats that worth?

Did you leave it there?

My parent's home scores a whopping 0, but the house of my best friend when I was a kid would be off the charts, 800 at least (assuming +100 for each station or mass, not just 1).

Squ · 17-07-2012 01:46PM

TwoShedsJackson wrote: »

Did you leave it there?.

i did what most irish folk do. Spared confrontation by leaving it up until "the stickey wore off Mrs Q"

ixoy · 17-07-2012 01:48PM

0 points! How do we get negative points up there? Maybe if I get a photo of Dawkins?

Boyfriend's got 15 points in his parent's house at least. He was recently invited to the blessing of a house of a friend - I had never heard of this before. Seems bizarre to me but maybe they're trying to get in on this game and rack up some points?

Hotblack Desiato · 25-07-2012 12:39AM

Squ wrote: »

Now, the difference between the average irish catholic and muslims, buddists, hindus is that they for the most part ACTUALLY BELIEVE in their respective religions.

Death penalty for apostasy sure shuts up any doubters. That doesn't mean there aren't doubters.

Hotblack Desiato · 25-07-2012 12:49AM

My parents' house:

-Holy water font at front door
-Dead twig on top of one picture in the living room. Only one though. Used to think that disposing of the old one in fire was cool (we didn't have an open fire

) the magic only lasted 12 months in these things apparently
-Spooky sacred heart picture on top of the bookcase, looking down on everyone in the room
-Our Lady of the Screw-Top Head (didn't everyone?)
-Big yoke in the main bedroom over the bed giving the blessing of Paul VI. Kind of a sex permit...
-JP2 pic in a cheap frame, slightly wrinkled as it'd come out of the Sunday Press
-Assorted prayerbooks and a couple of bibles but we didn't actually read them
-Irish-published 1960s sex manual with official Catholic Church seal of approval (I'm not joking, holy logo next to the contents page.) This was on a very high shelf. The only sex manual in the world that doesn't mention contraception. Or blow jobs. Or anything but straight, non-inverted missionary...

jill_valentine · 25-07-2012 01:48AM

ninja900 wrote: »

-Irish-published 1960s sex manual with official Catholic Church seal of approval (I'm not joking, holy logo next to the contents page.) This was on a very high shelf. The only sex manual in the world that doesn't mention contraception. Or blow jobs. Or anything but straight, non-inverted missionary...

:eek:

Catholic Kama Sutra! This sounds amazing. Is it just one big page long?

robindch · 25-07-2012 06:22AM

ninja900 wrote: »

[...] sex manual with official Catholic Church seal of approval [...]

I dread to think what's in the chapter for priests.

Any chance a few scans/photos of the book in general might make their way here?

seamus · 25-07-2012 10:16AM

jill_valentine wrote: »

Catholic Kama Sutra! This sounds amazing. Is it just one big page long?

Page one: How to pray to God before sex and beg his forgiveness for enjoying yourself.

Page two, first half: How to become aroused without thinking unpure thoughts

Page two, center illustration: The Vatican-approved missionary position. Complete picture of mostly clothed people with a duvet over them.

Page two, second half: Things to do during sex to ensure minimal enjoyment is obtained from it.

Page three: Cleansing oneself of dirt and filth immediately after the act, including tips for avoiding your husband/wife in the hours afterwards to avoid any possible re-ignition of your passions.

Pages four - sixteen: Full-colour illustrations of appropriate methods of flagellation in the days and weeks following the act.

Mr. CooL ICE · 25-07-2012 10:31AM

Going by the OP, I am happy with my 0 points. My parents were never outwardly religious although they do go to mass every weekend. Once I turned 18, they told me not to go if I didn't want to

I have my utmost respect for them for doing that.

My mother always had a bottle of holy water hidden and used a Padre Pio bookmark. I think she kept a set of rosary beads in her car, but I'm not sure. There was a bible on the bookshelf but it was probably never opened.

Dunno if it counts as stations, but when my priest uncle visited when we were younger, he used to force us to have mass in the sitting room, but it was just us and him. I hated being dragged away from my sega gamegear but always perked up when it meant I didn't have to go to church that weekend.

jill_valentine · 25-07-2012 11:12AM

robindch wrote: »

Any chance a few scans/photos of the book in general might make their way here?

I'd been trying to think of a delicate way to request exactly that, I really want to read this.

FinnLizzy · 25-07-2012 11:18AM

ninja900 wrote: »

-Irish-published 1960s sex manual with official Catholic Church seal of approval (I'm not joking, holy logo next to the contents page.) This was on a very high shelf. The only sex manual in the world that doesn't mention contraception. Or blow jobs. Or anything but straight, non-inverted missionary...

Please! We need an entire thread dedicated to this! Make it your business to find and scan that book.

Hotblack Desiato · 25-07-2012 07:57PM

robindch wrote: »

Any chance a few scans/photos of the book in general might make their way here?

Sorry, no idea what happened to it, but it's not there any more.
It was called 'Life Cycle' and written by some Irish ob/gyn fella.
Seemed fairly and squarely aimed at nervous brides-to-be wondering what was going to happen to them.
The only illustrations would have been of the inter cert biology type (e.g. cross section of a vagina, rather than a pic of the outside, lest anyone got excited by that... etc.)
The tone of it was like 'this is what happens, this is how you get pregnant' rather than the Joy of Sex or anything. Still, it was better than sheer ignorance I suppose.

Edit: I still can't believe I'm discussing, on the internet, with complete strangers, a book about sex bought 45 years ago by.. my mother :eek:

recedite · 25-07-2012 10:52PM

ninja900 wrote: »

-Dead twig on top of one picture in the living room. Only one though. Used to think that disposing of the old one in fire was cool (we didn't have an open fire ) the magic only lasted 12 months in these things apparently
...

What's the story with the twig? I've never heard of that one. Sounds more like a pagan thing.

Hotblack Desiato · 26-07-2012 12:56AM

^ the twig was discussed earlier, 'palm' or in reality some random non-deciduous twig which was blessed on Palm Sunday. You'd put up the new one and destroy the old one in fire, don't know why the bin wouldn't do...

Interesting that you mention paganism though.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianity_and_paganism#Pagan_influences_on_Christianity

The Pagan vernal equinox celebration was 'christianized' and then referred to as the Annunciation to the Blessed Virgin Mary or Annunciation of the Lord and celebrated as the Feast of the Annunciation. ... Summer solstice was a tradition for many pagans. This pagan holiday, was basically brought in and given a name change, and in Christianity was then associated with the nativity of John the Baptist, which now is observed on the same day, June 24, in the Catholic, Orthodox and some Protestant churches. It is six months before Christmas because Luke 1:26 and Luke 1.36 imply that John the Baptist was born six months earlier than Jesus, although the Bible does not say at which time of the year this happened.

And of course, that midwinter festival around for thousands of years which some people think non-Christians shouldn't celebrate. Next time you hear one complain about the 'true meaning of Christmas being lost' just laugh in their ignorant face.

recedite · 26-07-2012 10:27AM

ninja900 wrote: »

^ the twig was discussed earlier, 'palm' or in reality some random non-deciduous twig which was blessed on Palm Sunday. You'd put up the new one and destroy the old one in fire, don't know why the bin wouldn't do...

Oh yeah, the Leylandii branch; I think it was only supposed to be an Easter thing though. Maybe extra-holy people were reluctant to let go of it until they got a new one, the following year.

kylith · 26-07-2012 11:00AM

You stick they above pictures, these days it seems to be just the Sacred Heart ones, but when I was a kid my Nan had them over ever picture in the house, and they protect the house from fire, or something. Even as a kid I didn't see the logic of filling your house with kindling in order to ward off fire.

kerash · 28-07-2012 11:14PM

Picture of Jesus: 10 points (+5 if it has a red light under it)YES
Padre Pio car sticker: 20 ponts YES
Rosery Beads: 10 points (keep in mind, some auld ones like to drape everything in them like it's going out of fashion) YES
If your house ever hosted a station: 100 points (I only found out what it was recently from my OH, basically the preist and other parishioners come to your house and have mass, very culchie thing) YES

Sacred Heart with light in the kitchen, no longer there! We had a Padre Pio in one car. And I remember Rosary beads in the drawer plus getting some on/for my communion day.
We had a station once.
145 points!

Bonus points:
I can add miraculous medals to this and bottles of holy water from lourdes, several St. Brigids crosses, Palm, church 'money' envelopes, calender with holy pictures and the holy days marked in, confirmation picture with the bishop, mother was the priest's house keeper for a short time, have a baptism candle.

And I thought we weren't that religious when I was growing up before this quiz :pac:
(In my house we have some rosery beads that we found from the previous people, hung them up in 'safety corner' beside the fire extinguisher and fire blanket, just in case

Wereghost · 28-07-2012 11:28PM

pontia wrote: »

for people who seem to believe in nothing you spend a lot of time giving out/abusing taking the piss out of catholics,strange you dont do same to muslims,you afraid there might be a backlash ?

Muslims only kill you; Catholics consign you to Hell.

By the way, isn't atheism about not believing in nothing?

lazygal · 29-07-2012 08:33PM

Do you get points for having attended and/or hosted The Stations? My mum's parents hosted The Stations and the priest refused to eat with anyone else and demanded his own table in a different room to eat in. Sure its what Jesus would have wanted.

recedite · 29-07-2012 11:15PM

kerash wrote: »

church 'money' envelopes,

Minus 10 points for keeping them instead of handing them in stuffed with cash :pac:

Squ · 29-07-2012 11:46PM

I was in McCarthys' in Rathdrum looking for a new strimmer when "Mrs Doyle" comes in, priest in toe. She had a new looking Sthil Strimmer she was looking to trade in as it was too heavy for her in the large parochial garden.

I offered €10 more than the trade in price.. And I got a blessing thrown in, not bad.

robindch · 29-07-2012 11:53PM

lazygal wrote: »

My mum's parents hosted The Stations and the priest refused to eat with anyone else and demanded his own table in a different room to eat in.

If the shower who showed up in my parents' house for some religious shindig years ago are anything to go by, I'd say your priest was a wise man indeed.

tommy2bad · 01-08-2012 02:24PM

So far.....340 points. I'm claiming an extra 100 for the 2 scapulars we didn't wear.
440.

Still have a lot of stuff around mostly icons tho. Cant beat catholic tat for decor better than the cheap prints from woodies anyway. That stuff just makes your house look like a b'n'b or as if it's being held on to till the property slump is over.

Ellis Dee · 01-08-2012 02:46PM

When we bought our house here in Laois way back in the 1980s, the widow who sold it to us left a "Sacred Heart" picture, complete with a red electric bulb with a cross inside. We thought it was kind of cute in an absurd kind of way and it stayed there no matter what way we decorated for many years until an elderly aunt asked us for it. Not unmindful of the possibility of featuring in her will, I gave it to her.;);)

But my (Finnish) wife's greatest find was in a cupboard, where it had probably been for decades: a atatue of the Virgin Mary in a deep glass-fronted frame, with a satin lining around the statue.

However, the colours have faded over time, except the brilliant red of her rather pouting lips. Her once blue robe is now just a hint of azure and her skin is as white as Morticia Addams's. In fact, she looks like a whore.:D:D

eyescreamcone · 01-08-2012 03:01PM

We had a full size Jesus statue (when I was eight years old) that we put in the window for a few days every Corpus Christi weekend.
Plus we had yellow and white bunting which was draped from the upstairs window down to the garden for the same event.

Must be worth a few points.

I definitely lose points for not writing Christmas, but Merry Xmas on cards(except to my mother).

To really wind people up SAY "Merry Xmas (sometimes I even use Xbox!) and a Happy Boxing Day (instead of St.Stephens Day)".

How many points do I get/lose for that???

tommy2bad · 01-08-2012 03:58PM

eyescreamcone wrote: »

We had a full size Jesus statue (when I was eight years old) that we put in the window for a few days every Corpus Christi weekend.
Plus we had yellow and white bunting which was draped from the upstairs window down to the garden for the same event.

Must be worth a few points.

I definitely lose points for not writing Christmas, but Merry Xmas on cards(except to my mother).

To really wind people up SAY "Merry Xmas (sometimes I even use Xbox!) and a Happy Boxing Day (instead of St.Stephens Day)".

How many points do I get/lose for that???

LOL and the parade of little brides down the village, suppose it justified the cost of the communion dress that it got a second outing.
Sorry no points lost or gained for xmass, it's a Christian shorthand dating back as far as St Bede.
Boxing day OTOH is just wrong

Sarky · 01-08-2012 04:00PM

I have a little statue of Cthulhu on my mantlepiece, is that worth negative points? And how much for a Batman figurine?

gozunda · 01-08-2012 08:16PM

Heres the motherload for those getting all nostalgic....

http://www.veritasbooksonline.com/religious-accessories/statues.html

available on line - how much to maximise your points?

For those that miss these ...

Hotblack Desiato · 01-08-2012 10:51PM

Ahh, Veritas. Thought I'd have a look there to see how the Catholic sex manual, 21st century style, is getting on...

Your Sexual Self, Pathway to Authentic Intimacy - no review blurb

but doesn't sound too promising. Probably lots of empty pages except for one with "GET MARRIED" written on it.

Questions & Answers on Sex & Marriage

For many people the Catholic Church holds outdated and impractical views when it comes to sex, marriage and contraception. Dr Charlie ODonnell answers 24 of the most common questions put to him by couples at marriage preparation classes.

Would almost be tempted to go to the shop just to find out what the 24 questions are...

Discernment of Vocations with regard to Persons with Homosexual Tendencies in view of their admission to Seminary and Holy Orders Ah yes the old "Homosexuality = Paedophilia, to prevent the latter just keep out the former" :rolleyes:

The 'Catholic house decoration' game

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