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The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389

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    #3452
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    Galwayguy35 wrote: »
    Had a date tonight, first one in a few months. We got on great chatting on the phone but when we met in person it was just awkward from the start for some reason and the conversation never really got going. Its a tough struggle this internet dating lark at times....

    No attraction or could it have just been nerves?


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    #3453
    newbee22
    Registered Users Posts: 937 ✭✭✭newbee22


    So jealous of all the dating action going on at the mo!:mad: Enjoy!


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    #3454
    GrumPy
    Registered Users Posts: 6,557 ✭✭✭GrumPy


    Date last night went fantastically! :D Delighted with life at the mo. :o

    No lack of conversation at all, lots of gob lobbin' too :pac:

    My face is literally sore from smiling so much. :o
    Date 3 planned, can't wait!


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    #3455
    Misticles
    Registered Users Posts: 13,746 ✭✭✭✭Misticles


    Galwayguy35 wrote: »
    Had a date tonight, first one in a few months. We got on great chatting on the phone but when we met in person it was just awkward from the start for some reason and the conversation never really got going. Its a tough struggle this internet dating lark at times....

    This happened to me before too. Got on great online and chatted for hours on the phone too. In person, struggled for conversation... I wasn't really into him and he had never met anyone for an online date before so I put it down to nerves but he ignored me totally after that. Maybe I didn't have my appendage tucked in properly or something. Who knows....


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    #3456
    sharper
    Registered Users Posts: 1,216 ✭✭✭sharper


    Galwayguy35 wrote: »
    Had a date tonight, first one in a few months. We got on great chatting on the phone but when we met in person it was just awkward from the start for some reason and the conversation never really got going. Its a tough struggle this internet dating lark at times....

    Nerves can be a disaster. If you otherwise like her it might be worth another shot, maybe a movie or something you can at least talk about afterwards?


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    #3457
    G-Money
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,199 ✭✭✭G-Money


    Feeling like I might be coming around to the idea of trying this again in a few weeks or months time.


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    #3458
    Galwayguy35
    Registered Users Posts: 16,403 ✭✭✭✭Galwayguy35


    sharper wrote: »
    Nerves can be a disaster. If you otherwise like her it might be worth another shot, maybe a movie or something you can at least talk about afterwards?

    No its a non runner i think. She felt i was too quiet for her and i got the line that kills any prospect of romance. "lets just be friends":(


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    #3459
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    I'm hiding from the ol' online dating 'til after V-Day. I'm not sure why but I don't like the idea of cruising around on dating sites at that time. It's all a little bit too 'Lonely Hearts Club' for me.


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    #3460
    Ammsy500
    Registered Users Posts: 218 ✭✭Ammsy500


    Well date number number 2 with the guy i met last week cancelled and wont happen... Was supposed to meet today but got a LAME excuse about an ex. Jaysus you'd swear I wanted to marry the dude! Think I'm going to take a bit of a break from the ol online dating for a bit but I'm still gonna be keeping an eye on this thread it's too good :)


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    #3461
    awec
    Administrators Posts: 53,555 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭awec


    This post has been deleted.


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    #3462
    mood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    Ammsy500 wrote: »
    Well date number number 2 with the guy i met last week cancelled and wont happen... Was supposed to meet today but got a LAME excuse about an ex. Jaysus you'd swear I wanted to marry the dude! Think I'm going to take a bit of a break from the ol online dating for a bit but I'm still gonna be keeping an eye on this thread it's too good :)

    An excuse about an ex would put me off as well. An ex should not effect you current dating/love life.


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    #3463
    Ammsy500
    Registered Users Posts: 218 ✭✭Ammsy500


    mood wrote: »
    Ammsy500 wrote: »
    Well date number number 2 with the guy i met last week cancelled and wont happen... Was supposed to meet today but got a LAME excuse about an ex. Jaysus you'd swear I wanted to marry the dude! Think I'm going to take a bit of a break from the ol online dating for a bit but I'm still gonna be keeping an eye on this thread it's too good :)

    An excuse about an ex would put me off as well. An ex should not effect you current dating/love life.

    Exactly shouldnt be on a dating site in the first place if your not over your ex. To be honest with you I think it was just an excuse and easier to say that than 'look I'm not really into you...'. Was chatting to my sister about it and she said the same thing happened to her friend last week. Guy she met online said the same thing...very very strange.


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    #3464
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    Using the 'ex' sounds like a lame excuse and harsh as it may seem he probably wasn't that keen to meet up again. I don't understand why people cannot be honest. Lame-o!

    Keep on truckin' peeps!!

    And come to the beers on Saturday!!!!!!!! :)


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    #3465
    G-Money
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,199 ✭✭✭G-Money


    Would you really prefer someone say "I'm not that interested in you?"

    If someone is not interested in me, I wouldn't be mad keen on them telling me that straight up. As long as I knew I was wasting my time and should move on, I wouldn't care if they told me they were having a chastity belt fitted.


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    #3466
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    G-Money wrote: »
    Would you really prefer someone say "I'm not that interested in you?"

    If someone is not interested in me, I wouldn't be mad keen on them telling me that straight up. As long as I knew I was wasting my time and should move on, I wouldn't care if they told me they were having a chastity belt fitted.

    I would. Because then its a done deal, final. And you move on.

    Obviously there is a nicer way of putting it.

    I understand that everyone who meets me isn't gonna be bowled over by me, the same way as not every guy I go on a date with is gonna float my boat.


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    #3467
    awec
    Administrators Posts: 53,555 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭awec


    This post has been deleted.


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    #3468
    Ammsy500
    Registered Users Posts: 218 ✭✭Ammsy500


    It's never nice to be told someones not interested in you but being led on is worse. Like the guy was texting me all week up to this morning and than sends me a txt a few hours ago with that excuse the day were meant to meet up. If he wasn't interested I would have preferred to know a few days ago before I did my hair etc :p


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    #3469
    awec
    Administrators Posts: 53,555 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭awec


    This post has been deleted.


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    #3470
    fat__tony
    Registered Users Posts: 587 ✭✭✭fat__tony


    Galwayguy35 wrote: »
    Had a date tonight, first one in a few months. We got on great chatting on the phone but when we met in person it was just awkward from the start for some reason and the conversation never really got going. Its a tough struggle this internet dating lark at times....

    Schoolboy error talking on the phone before meeting in person in my opinion.

    Better to meet to talk, less chance of awkwardness based on my experience.


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    #3471
    Semele
    Registered Users Posts: 753 ✭✭✭Semele


    Larianne wrote: »
    I think I've approached and asked nearly all my dates out! Feck all that waiting around!

    Fingerscrossed for ya Semele. :)


    And...no reply yet:o Lets just hope he's away for the weekend or something. I really have no luck with asking people out, which is a shame since I have no trouble doing it! It does just seem to put guys off sometimes.


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    #3472
    G-Money
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,199 ✭✭✭G-Money


    fat__tony wrote: »
    Schoolboy error talking on the phone before meeting in person in my opinion.

    Better to meet to talk, less chance of awkwardness based on my experience.

    I'm exactly the opposite. I almost refuse to meet up unless I've chatted to them on the phone a bit first.


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    #3473
    ecoli
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,762 ✭✭✭✭ecoli


    fat__tony wrote: »
    Schoolboy error talking on the phone before meeting in person in my opinion.

    Better to meet to talk, less chance of awkwardness based on my experience.

    Would have to say I am the opposite. I find chatting on the phone etc can ease the nerves of meeting someone new alot


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    #3474
    sharper
    Registered Users Posts: 1,216 ✭✭✭sharper


    fat__tony wrote: »
    Schoolboy error talking on the phone before meeting in person in my opinion.

    Better to meet to talk, less chance of awkwardness based on my experience.

    Different people have very different ways of getting to know each other, what matters is for both to try and find the best way for them not to blindly follow some defined set of rules. A phone call might well get two people excited about further conversation in person.


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    #3475
    The Big Red Button
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,390 ✭✭✭The Big Red Button


    Not that I have much experience in all of this. :o But I reckon, for me, ideally maybe 3-5 messages either way, then arrange to meet up. No chat/msn/whatever, and no phonecalls first. I'd prefer to see if that "spark" or connection or whatever is there, and I think that the only way you can know that is face-to-face. I think that, if you're chatting too much before you meet up, you sort of build up in your head an image of what that person is like, and they're never going to be exactly like that in person.
    G-Money wrote: »
    I'm exactly the opposite. I almost refuse to meet up unless I've chatted to them on the phone a bit first.

    I don't really bother with any hard and fast rules. If I thought a guy seemed cool, I'd probably just go for it and meet them. Worst comes to worst, it's only a couple of hours out of your life and it's all good experience, no big deal if you don't get on or if it doesn't work out well for any reason!


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    #3476
    Pembily
    Registered Users Posts: 14,404 ✭✭✭✭Pembily


    I can't talk to people before I meet them, freaks me out. If a guy insisted I would cancel. I'm really weird that way as I'm pure chatty but I just can't talk on the phone!

    I personally think rules are sh!te for dating, what works for one person won't work for everyone!


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    #3477
    awec
    Administrators Posts: 53,555 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭awec


    This post has been deleted.


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    #3478
    sharper
    Registered Users Posts: 1,216 ✭✭✭sharper


    Pembily wrote: »
    If a guy insisted I would cancel.

    This would be good advice for someone insisting on anything you don't want to do. People should suggest talking on the phone if it feels like a natural extension of their interaction, they shouldn't try to force it either to happen or not happen because of some abstract rule about how people are supposed to interact.


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    #3479
    JennyBurke101
    Registered Users Posts: 169 ✭✭JennyBurke101


    Men are dopes on these sites ...seriously.....


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    #3480
    JennyBurke101
    Registered Users Posts: 169 ✭✭JennyBurke101


    fat__tony wrote: »
    Schoolboy error talking on the phone before meeting in person in my opinion.

    Better to meet to talk, less chance of awkwardness based on my experience.

    I think it would be so sweet if a guy wanted to talk on the phone...kinda old fashioned or something1


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    #3481
    Panthro
    Registered Users Posts: 14,773 ✭✭✭✭Panthro


    JennyBurke101 wrote: »
    Men are dopes on these sites ...seriously.....

    Gentle reminder to have a look at post No.4 of the Charter with regards generalisations.


This discussion has been closed.
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