The try harder if ye want a second joke thread thread.

An Engishman, an American and an Irishman walk into a bar. they order 3 pints. When the barman puts up the pints there is a fly in each.
The englishman calls the barman over and says give me a fresh pint, that one is disguting.
The American flicks the fly out of the pint and knocks it back.
This is quickly followed by the Irishman who picks the fly up by the wings while clenching his fist and tells him grumpily to spit it it out. :cool:

A couple are dinning in a resturant when suddenly the man slides off the chair onto the floor under the table.The waiter walk´s over to the table and said to the woman "excuse me madam but your husband has just slid off the chair onto the floor under the table"to which the lady replies"No my husband has just walked in the door"

Tim Howard has scored more goals this year than Manchester United!

I asked a pretty, young, homeless woman if I could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile.

The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box.

An old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, " Where are you going?"
He replies, "I'm going to the doctor."
She says, "Why, are you sick?"
He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff."
Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat.
He says, "Where the hell are you going"? She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too." He says, "Why, what do you need?"
She says, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm getting a tetanus shot!"

I was having sex with my wife last night when I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She said, "What are you doing?" I replied, "Don't worry, I seen this on Pornhub earlier, its called Buffering .

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.
Not screaming like the other passenger´s in the car.

Paddy and mick hanged over and bridge and "pull me up there is a train coming" they had been trying to grab fish but it wasnt that kind of bridge!

The Master. wrote: »

Paddy and mick hanged over and bridge and "pull me up there is a train coming" they had been trying to grab fish but it wasnt that kind of bridge!

Was it a suspension bridge or a gallows?

Lapin wrote: »

I could tell you about my broken pencil.



But its pointless.

Where is the rubber?

the dunne wrote: »

The Master. wrote: »

Paddy and mick hanged over and bridge and "pull me up there is a train coming" they had been trying to grab fish but it wasnt that kind of bridge!

...................

Is that your ma's pubes?