Kingp35's Horror Viewing Log

Paranormal Activity 2

The plot is almost identical to the original film; a family begins to suspect that their house may be haunted due to a number of strange noises and happenings around the house. They install a number of CCTV cameras that capture everything that happens in the house and the ultimate demise of the family.

If you enjoyed the original film then you will enjoy the sequel because every technique and scare tactic used the first film is present in this one. If you are like me though and found the first film to be completely un-frightening then there is nothing here that’s going scare you. The only difference between the two is the amount of filler present in this sequel; it just takes far too long to get going leading to an incredibly boring opening 40 minutes that documents the mundane activities of an American family. When the so called frightening bits start it amounts to the odd noise and a few doors opening and closing by themselves. The ending is incredibly predictable and a little stupid, again almost identical to the original.

There is no doubting the popularity of these films, there is clearly a large amount of people that find them entertaining. It really depends on whether or not you can buy into the story and make yourself believe what you are seeing is real. For me both Paranormal Activity films fail to do this end up being rather boring and silly.

5/10

The Rage (2007)

The plot is reminiscent of countless low budget films and the perfect setup for gore galore; a crazed scientist has become disillusioned with the capitalistic world and takes it upon himself to create a virus that forces which mutates it’s host into a deformed killer with an insatiable rage. After one of his victims breaks free, he goes on a killing spree eventually spreading the virus to a flock of birds that develop a penchant for human flesh. Said birds take an interest in a group of teenagers who must desperately try to stay alive.

The Rage is very reminiscent of 80’s splatter films such as Re-Animator, the only difference being the completely ludicrous plot, downright awful acting and rubbish CGI effects that exist in Kurtzman’s film. As it’s a splatter comedy horror B-Movie, these usually negative elements actually help to make The Rage a fun watch as you can’t help but laugh your way through this utterly silly film. The practical gore effects are excellent from Kurtzman with buckets of blood and gore on show, it’s just a pity that the CGI birds were so downright awful. The acting is terrible from all involved, the group of teenagers have to be one of the worst group of actors ever assembled but again this only adds to the fun of the film. In all seriousness there is nothing good about The Rage other than the excellent practical gore effects but if you start to watch it knowing how silly it all is there is no doubting that you will have a smile on your face from start to finish.

If you’re looking for a B-Movie full of blood and guts and one that’s utterly silly right the way through then you can’t go wrong with The Rage. Kurtzman has created a film that’s best described using two words; entertaining rubbish.

6/10

Cursed (2005)

It seems as if there is a werewolf on the loose in L.A. which happens to attack a brother and sister after they are involved in a car crash. The two begin notice themselves changing, both physically and mentally, and eventually begin to suspect they might become werewolves themselves. The only way to stop this from happening is to kill the head werewolf; the problem is they have no idea who it is.

Let me get this out of the way first; it is extremely hard to label this film as horror because there is absolutely nothing frightening to be seen throughout its 97 minute runtime. More like a strange mix between Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Dawson’s Creek, it’s more a teenage drama film than anything else, and a bad one at that. Just how Wes Craven thought the script for Cursed was good enough to film I will never know. It’s painfully predictable throughout with the head vampire being completely obvious as soon as he steps on screen. The werewolves look absolutely terrible, both in CGI and practical effects form and are not menacing in the slightest. Craven decided to make this as a PG-13 film meaning there is no gore to be found here at all. Even with all these problems, I have to admit that it is still entertaining at times by providing plenty of goofy fun. Unfortunately the bad far outweighs the good though and Cursed ends up being another huge disappointment from Craven.

Silly fun at times but far too predictable with terrible effects and a lack of gore, Cursed plays out like a bad feature length episode of Buffy. It’s yet another poor effort from Craven.

5/10

Psych 9 (2010)

A young woman takes a job working the night shift sorting old patient files in a closed down hospital. A serial killer is on the loose in the town and the woman begins to suspect her boyfriend of being the killer. She begins to have impromptu sessions with a psychologist working the night shift on the old psych ward and it quickly becomes apparent that the woman has a troubled past and all is not as it seems within the walls of the closed down hospital.

Honestly this film is a jumbled mess with the plot jumping from one nonsensical scene to another with the result being a film that is almost impossible to follow. Not only is the storyline a mess, the only attempt the director makes at frightening the audience is through cheap loud noise scares and the usual cliches that you can see coming a mile away. It’s clear that there was the potential for an interesting storyline here but the film tried to be a little too clever for its own good by being too ambiguous which all leads to an ending that is utterly baffling.

Psych 9 has a solid enough opening but poor writing, cheap scares and a nonsensical ending make this one that everyone should avoid.

4/10

Bitter Feast (2010)

Peter Grey is a celebrity chef who has his own TV show and is head of an up market restaurant. It all starts to go wrong for him though when notorious food blogger JT Franks writes a scathing review of his food that leads to Grey’s TV show being axed and him losing his job at the restaurant. Grey doesn’t take this too well and he decides to kidnap Franks and make him endure various food related torture in order to get his own back.

In all honesty, the only thing that makes Bitter Feast stand out from the multitude of other revenge film is the concept, forcing your victim to cook food perfectly or to eat potentially dangerous food items to stay alive is certainly a unique one. It’s just a shame that the rest of the film is nothing new and in fact a little boring at times, particularly the second act. That being said, there is some nice effects work and the acting from the cast of unknowns is very good. Billed as horror film, I would be more likely to call it a thriller as there are no scares to be found here unless you consider the torture scenes to be chilling. The ending is a frustrating one, at one point it seemed as if Maggio was going to go against the usual Hollywood ending but instead he tacked on a final scene which made it a little more conventional. It’s a pity as this would have made the film stand out a little more.

In the end, Bitter Feast is a solid enough low budget direct to DVD film. It has an interesting concept and some good scenes but the many bad points prevent it from being memorable. It’s certainly worth a look though.

6/10

Cropsey (2009)

Set around director Zeman’s home on Statten Island, New York, the documentary is based around the disappearances of five different children and the real life bogeyman who is accused of the crime. Cropsey was a term that the children of the island used for the bogeyman and with the disappearances of these children, Zemen and a number of his friends delve into the mysterious history and current practices on the island and the life of Andre Rand, the real Cropsey of the island.

Nearly every person has heard stories about various bogeymen while growing up but not many of us have the chance to make a film about said bogeyman. That’s exactly what the makers of Cropsey have done and it certainly makes for an interesting watch. It’s a very informative film that delves into the past of Statten Island including the tuberculosis hospital that was turned into a mental institution and how there are a number of people living in the surrounding woods that may or may not be past patients of the hospital. The story of Andre Rand is a disturbing one as the filmmakers show he was into some weird things and was a very messed up an. It is also an excellent film for documenting just how a legend is formed and somebody ends up becoming a new generation’s bogeyman.

Cropsey is both an informative and slightly disturbing documentary about a child killer and the birth of a bogeyman legend. It deserves more recognition than it has gotten and if you get the chance you should definitely give it a look.

7/10

Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus (2010)

Click to read on my blog

The film’s title tells almost everything you need to know about the plot, the Mega Shark that defeated the giant octopus from the original film is still alive and kicking and wanting to kill a few more people. Another prehistoric animal has been accidentally released from a cave, a giant crocodile named Crocosaurus and it is also intent on killing as many people as it can. This leads our scientists and military personal with no choice but to get the two to fight each other to death.

The fact that I watched this film only a couple of days ago and have nearly forgotten every single aspect of it tells you all you need to know. Gone is the over the top ridiculousness of the original, this sequel is bafflingly played out in a much more serious tone. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still extremely silly but not in the good way. The effects are as terrible as usual, as is the acting and even the usually fun action scenes are mostly gone. It seems as if the formula for success that was the original film was stumbled upon by accident and they are unable to reproduce it.

Extremely disappointing sequel as it finally looked as if The Asylum were starting to make those silly over the top B-Movies that everyone loves. Very poor with very few redeeming features, this matchup is not even deserving of an under card spot.

3/10

Dinocroc vs Supergator (2010)

Click to read on my blog

A government funded company that was tasked with developing a growth hormone to enhance food production and thus end world hunger has taken it upon themselves to use the hormone for more nefarious means. They have managed to create two huge animals, one a mix between a dinosaur and a crocodile and the other a giant alligator. This being a SyFy film, both animals escape and begin to chomp their way around a Hawaiian island. It’s up to a government agent, a conservation officer and a hunter to try and stop the marauding beasts.

I have started to believe that the SyFy channel simply don’t put any effort whatsoever into creating these films. Yet again the effects are diabolical but that’s not the issue. If they are going to make a film about two beasts fighting each other they could at least make said fight a little longer than three minutes long! In fact the titular creatures are so rarely on screen I was beginning to think that they had got lost. There is so little action to be found here which is a shame because the film is actually well acted for the most part and at least tries to explain the reasons for creating the creatures. In the end though, it’s another bore fest with too much talking and not enough silly action.

A film about two creatures squaring off should be fun but this is anything but as there simply isn’t enough creature action. Not even so bad it’s good; this fight ends up being another non event.

3/10

Sharktopus (2010)

Click to read on my blog

Directed by Declan O’Brien whose biggest claim to fame is having helmed the third entry of the Wrong Turn series, the plot of Sharktopus has been done countless times before. Genetic engineers have managed to create a half shark half octopus hybrid for military purposes that they control using a device strapped to the creatures head. After it hits it’s head on the underneath of a boat, the device is broken leading the creature to roam free and kill every human it comes into contact with. It’s up to a genetic scientist and a bounty hunter to stop the rampaging creature from munching its way through the human populace.

I honestly believe that the SyFy company bigwigs have just one basic script that they use to make all of their films and simply fill in the blanks with whatever creature they have thought up this month. There is nothing new to be seen here and just why they insist on making these creature features as serious films I will never understand. Clearly there is scope to create a ridiculously over the top and fun B-Movie when your creature is a half shark half octopus hybrid but there are no laughs to be found here, not even unintentional ones. The kills are mostly unimaginative and consist of awfully rendered CGI blood splashing around onto rocks and walls. In fact the entire film’s effects are downright awful and look like something made on a commodore 64. Credit has to be given to Corman for coming up with an excellent creature design and something which is actually imaginative but the miniscule budget and the ineptness of the SyFy channels effects team have failed miserably to bring the creature to the screen. In all fairness, even if they had succeeded it still would have been a poor film that is far too similar to every other SyFy channel creature feature.

Roger Corman should just retire; he is way above creating creatures for the SyFy channel that are never going to be handled properly. Sharktopus is a film that could have been great fun of not taken seriously but unfortunately it’s full of terrible CGI, unimaginative kills and very little tension or entertainment. This film marks the beginning of the end for my viewing of SyFy channel creature features.

3/10

The Howling (1981)

Click to read on my blog

The story focuses on a female newsreader that has a near fatal and strange encounter with a serial killer that is obsessed with her. In order to help her overcome her ordeal, her psychiatrist sends the newswomen to a rehabilitation retreat but it soon becomes apparent that her fellow inhabitants may not be what they seem and there may be an ulterior motive for her being sent to the retreat.

Director Joe Landis has managed to create a fun and entertaining film because despite it being primarily a horror film it never takes itself too seriously. Admittedly the basic premise is nothing new, a person being sent away only to a retreat only to find out the inhabitants are not quite human has been done countless times before but The Howling is so well written that it still manages to seem fresh. A lot of people forget that this film was released before its much more famous cousin An American Werewolf in London and was undoubtedly an inspiration for the special effects in that film. Obviously there was no CGI available at the time so the transformation scenes all had to be done using practical effects and they look great. Yes the werewolves themselves look a little hokey and not in slightest bit frightening but it doesn’t take away from the enjoyment of the film. Perhaps the only real downside is that it takes a little while to get to the main storyline but once the werewolves start attacking it’s good old fashioned horror fun despite it not being frightening in the slightest.

The so called twist is painfully obvious and the storyline has been done to death but Joe Landis has made his film with a sense of fun which provides solid entertainment throughout.

7/10

Infestation (2009)

Click to read on my blog

The plot is essentially no different from the countless other films of this type; a slacker named Cooper awakes in his office block to find himself covered in spider webbing. After breaking free, he comes to realise that the world has been taken over by giant insects everyone else in his office has suffered the same fate. Cooper takes it upon himself to awake a small rag tag group from their web induced coma and together they must fight for their survival.

The most surprising aspect of Infestation is how good the CGI effects are given the budget of the film, the insects all look believable and the film never suffers from ropey effects. Although the plot is as unoriginal as they come, the script itself is very well written with a good mix of characters that provide plenty of humour throughout. Although not every joke hits its mark, Infestation is still a funny film with most of the comedy coming from Cooper as the typical office slacker. Rankin knows that a film about giant insects can never be taken seriously so there is a sense of fun throughout the proceedings with a nice blend between the comedy and the insect action. The action scenes are solid enough although they are obviously restricted by the films budget but still remain entertaining throughout and it all leads up a well done, although predictable, climax. Although classified as a horror film, there is nothing even remotely frightening to be found here so if you’re looking for scares then Infestation isn’t for you but if good cheesy horror comedy is what you’re after then you can’t go wrong with this little film.

Writer/Director Kyle Rankin has crafted a genuinely funny comedy horror with solid CGI effects and decent action that provides solid entertainment throughout. Unfortunately it’s yet another film that not too many people know about but if you get the chance it’s definitely worth a watch.

7/10

Fertile Ground (2011)

Part of the After Dark Originals series, Fertile Ground is unfortunately another mediocre entry in what has become a hugley disappointing first year for the Originals banner. It satrts quite well with an interesting set up, good acting and production values but quickly descends into a seen it all before ghost story that's predictable from start to finish and downright boring for most of the second half. The script is very poor with even the overuse of loud noises failing to make you jump even once. This one is better left unwatched I just hope that if After Dark decide to do the Originals series again next year that make sure to produce much better films that this.

4/10

Red State (2011)

Kevin Smith ventures into horror territory with his latest film Red State, a film which aims to to show just how crazy some of the evangelical Christian groups in America can be. Maybe not strictly a horror film, it tells the story of three kids being taken hostage by small fanatical religious group who plan to kill the boys because of their supposedly evil ways. What transpires is a Waco type siege incident and plenty of bloody carnage. It's certainly a brave film and succeeds quite well at showing just how crazy these groups are. The first two acts are also very entertaining and extremely well done but it's the final ten minutes or so that let the film down as it starys into unbelievable territory and loses alot of the credibility it has previously built up. Still it's certainly a good film with an interesting subject matter that's well worth a watch.

7/10

Chromeskull: Laid To Rest 2 (2011)

The original Laid To Rest seemed to be well received by both horror critics and fans alike. Personally I felt it was average at best and lacked a good story to go along with the admittedly excellent gore effects. The exact same criticisms can be leveled at this sequel, yet again the practical effects are top notch but the plot just isn't interesting or engaging enough to hold your attention. We do find out a little more about Chromeskulls background and the fact he is part of a shady organisation but it's all to familiar which, just like the original, means this sequel is a big disappointment as it could have been so much better.

5/10

I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer (2006)

The original two films in the I know What You Did Last Summer series were quite divisive, either you hate them or enjoyed the simple slasher fun that they offered. The majority of people have probably never even heard of this third entry in the franchise and those who have seen it tend to hate it. Yes it has a smaller budget and worse actors but it follows the exact same formula as the original two and despite it's many faults and blatant copying of the latter Friday the 13th sequels it still manages to provide some light slasher fun.

4/10

Grave Encounters (2011)

I must admit that I do enjoy a good cinema verite style horror film when done right, mainly because they are usually less predictable that standard films. Grave Encounters looked as if it was going to tick all of the right boxes and for the most part it did but the odd scene managed to drag it down. The plot is set around a reality paranormal investigation show with the crew choosing the stay the night in an abandoned mental asylum in order to shoot a new episode. What they encounter though is very real and they quickly find out the errors of their ways. It's very well shot with the first two acts being steeped in atmosphere and tension with a great sense of realism until a couple of scenes take it a little too far and completely drag you out of the realistic setting. These scenes don't quite ruin the film, they just take away from what could have been an excellent and frightening production. It's definitely worth a look and will genuinely frighten many a viewer.

7/10

Trespass (2011)

Considering that home invasion film Trespass stars both Nicholas cage and Nicole Kidman and still managed go completely under everyones radar tells you a lot about the quality of the film. To put it simply, it's average in every possible way. From acting, direction, writing to horror moments there is nothing that stands out as being either bad or good, the film simply plods along doing its thing and throws a number of plot twists at us thinking that's enough to provide an entertaining film. It's like countless other home invasion films that have come before it yet it's actually hard to even call this one a horror considering the lack of gore or any real terrifying moments. Having finished the film I realised I didn't hate or I didn't love it, it simply passed the time. Whether that is a recommendation or not I don't know.

5.5/10

The Caller (2011)

Perhaps I had low expectations due to the fact that The Caller ended being sent straight to DVD but what I got was a surprisingly interesting little horror/thriller film that managed to hold my attention throughout. The plot revolves around a troubled woman called Mary who has just moved into a new apartment. She begins to receive calls from a mysterious woman who happens to be calling from the past. When Mary tries to break contact, the woman from the past uses her unique situation to gain revenge in an inventive way. Yes it's not entirely original as it borrows quite heavily from the likes of Frequency but it has enough twists to hold your attention as well as being both well acted and creepy at times. If you watch it with low expectations like I did then you might be in for a little surprise.

7/10

Jennifers Body (2009)

Written by Diablo Cody of Juno fame, I was expected a well written and witty horror comedy but to call Jennifers body tame would be the understatement of the year. The plot is about a high schoo, student who gets turned into a demon who preys on young by seducing them and killing them. There are a couple of gore scenes but other than that there is very little horror to be found here and very little comedy either. The only thing to recommend would eb Meghan Fox, if you focus all your time to looking at her then Jennifers Body will you worth the watch. Otherwise it's distinctly average.

5/10

The Possession Of Emma Evans (Exorcismus) (2010)

On the face of it this film both looks at sounds like your typcial run of the mill exorcism film that we have seen countless times before and to be honest for the majority of the film it is. Luckily though there are a couple of surpirises and pieces of originality that manage to raise it up from mediocrity to average. The plot is simple, girl becomes possessed and her uncle priest tries to save her but as stated everything isn't exactly what it seems. It's not frightening in the least and some of the acting and effects are poor but I have seen much worse exorcism films than this one.

5.5/10

The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011)

Considering that the original Human centipede was pretty awful i have no idea why I bothered to watch the sequel which somehow manages to be worse than the original. The plot focuses on an overweight and mentally challenged security guard who is obsessed with the original film and decides to make his own Human centipede. Admittedly it's an interesting concept and could have been used to explore possible effects horror films can have on unstable minds but instead it's a painfully boring film designed to shock and disgust you of which it does neither. Stay away.

3/10

The Thing (2011)

I really didn't know what expect when going in to see this prequel to John Carpenters classic horror film. It turns that it pretty much plays out as an inferior rehash of the original. Honestly there is nothing new to be found here at all bar some nice creature effects and a reasonably well done story tie in to the original. Unfortunately it's lacking the tension and horror moments that John Carpenters film had and instead relies mostly on jump scares to try and scare the audience. Luckily though it does manage to entertain and could have been much worse. It's not near the standard of the original but it's a still a pretty well done prequel.

6/10

A Lonely Place To Die (2011)

Despite reading many good reviews from various horror websites and wanting to go see it, I somehow managed to miss A Lonely Place To Die when it was in the cinema. It turns out that was a blessing in disguise because I have to admit that I mostly disappointed with the film. For starters the plot is completely unoriginal, a bunch of people head out into the wilderness only to end up being hunted down by a group of men with guns. There are one or two plot twists but it's mostly by the book and lacking in suspense. The acting is also terrible from most of the cast and for a supposed horror film it's not evenly remotely frightening or gorey and has little tension. It does have excellent cinematography though and moves a long at nice pace never allowing boredom to set in. It's just so formulaic though that it never stood a chance at being anything more than average.

5.5/10

11-11-11 (2011)

Darren Lynn Bousmanns latest effort has been almost universally panned by everyone who has seen it but having just seen it myself I son't think it's quite as bad as it's made out to be and I can at least see what he was trying to do. Based around the numbers phenomenon where you continuously see a number throughout your life, in this case 11-11, but with a tacked on religious and supernatutal plt to boot. yes the story is quite poor and the twist ending is just silly but Bousmann whould be commended for trying to make an eerie and creepy film full of horror visuals. Does he succeed? No, but there are some nice visual work with some creepy moments but there are also plenty of moments where the costumes look incredibly cheap the visuals poor. Bousmann ha stried to make an old school horror film full of creepy visuals and atmosphere and on that he must be commended but unfortunately he failed to achieve what he set out to do.

5/10

Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)

Almost a carbon copy of the original two films, needless to say if you enjoyed the first two then you will also enjoy this one. It's a prequel to the first two which allows for the filmmakers to add in the only feature that distinguishes it from the other entries, a pretty bland and unoriginal backstory. If loud noises and doors opening and closing are your thing then this is for you. As for me, I found it passable.

6/10

Shark Night (2011)

Basically a syfy original shark feature with a bigger budget, this shark film brings nothing new to the genre but still manages to be vaguely entertaining. A group of college students head off to a lake and get munched on by a load of hungry sharks. A lack of gore lets this one down, it's PG-13 and really suffers because of it. Never the less, there are some fun scenes and if you enjoy idiotic shark films then you will like this too. Everyone else will hate it!

The Grey (2012)

Ok so technically it's not a horror film but Joe Carnahan's excellent film has plenty of horror elements to warrant a review here. To put it simply, it's an excellent watch from start to finish chock full of action, excitement, suspense and brilliant sound and effects. The story follows a group men involved in a plane crash in Alaska who are stalked by a pack of wolves. Shot on location in freezing conditions, The Grey has stunning cinematography and you can really imagine the torture the characters are going through. An excellent script, fitting and ending and plenty of jump out of your seat moments make for great viewing.

9/10

The Woman In Black (2012)

I having been meaning to watch the original TV movie for a long time now but somehow I ended up watching this remake first and I am very annoyed that I did! I really don't understand the positive reviews the film is getting as bar the excellent sets and costumes there is nothing much else to recommend here for horror fans. There is very little suspense or creepy atmosphere and the vast majority of the scares rely on predictable loud noises, not once did I jump out of my seat. The story is interesting enough and I can't fault the acting but for a straight up horror film it simply isn't scary. Even my girlfriend who usually jumps out of her seat at anything remotely scary didn't flicnh once. Hugely disappointing.

4/10