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LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,798 Local-womanizer


    Jimoslimos wrote: »
    - What are you depressed about? You have a good job/family/etc

    Thankfully I don't suffer from depression and I agree with many on here that it is subjective.

    Sometimes when I feel a bit down,which is normal, I just think that yea,I have good friends, family and a job I enjoy going too.

    These things probably help a lot when it comes to getting over a bout of depression,simply because of the support and understanding (family and friends) available to a person to keeping busy in a happy environment which takes your mind off things even for a brief time (a job)

    I'm not saying these are a reason not to suffer from it but can help a person deal with it to a certain degree.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,930 Jimoslimos




  • Registered Users Posts: 65,336 ✭✭✭✭ Overheal


    Very reflective post DeV. I've had my own bouts and posted about them on the site previously, not that I think I wish to revisit them right here. It's always very good to read these especially if you are a regular sufferer of depression (especially in the winter!) - acts as a good reminder to self-diagnose yourself for the telltale signs. I have a bedroom floor index myself, based on a ratio between 0 and 1 of how much of my floor I can see visibly and how much is obscured by random clutter or laundry.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,373 im invisible


    Overheal wrote: »
    I have a bedroom floor index myself, based on a ratio between 0 and 1 of how much of my floor I can see visibly and how much is obscured by random clutter or laundry.
    jesus, going by that i must be worse than i thought so...

    Ah, we'll have it tidy for christmas


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,746 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Insect Overlord


    **Warning!** Bit of a long post coming up here! I write far too freely in the middle of the night. :)

    I've never had a formal "diagnosis" of depression, but at least one counsellor has recognised the symptoms in me and I've known what it's like to spend months at a time feeling hopeless, direction-less, purposeless. I've spent nights lying awake in bed thinking about suicide. That's not to say that I've ever considered killing myself. But, it's a sign of very unhealthy thinking when you're quietly comparing and contrasting methods.

    My story? Nothing extraordinary. Bullied for a long time in primary school. Reached the top and had to stop, but then moved on to secondary and once again it was bothering me. Found it hard to make friends, both because I was an awkward, temperamental individual and because people were actively warning others to avoid me. I got in fights after school and never fought back, had my locker broken into, books stolen, bike vandalised, that kind of thing, for the first two and a half years in that school.

    I started coming into my own in the build-up to the Junior Cert. I stood up in an English class one day and read a short essay about how the loneliest time in my life was when I was bullied. I think that started the process anyway. I know I started making a lot more friends after that, and I'm still close to most of them now, ~8 years on. Since then it's been a series of highs and lows. Not quite bi-polar (the highs and lows tend to last too long for that) but a bit like the biblical metaphor of times of plenty and times of little.

    Intense relationships bringing out the best in me, bad break-ups sending me crashing again. Failing to prepare for exams, projects, deadlines. Getting anxious and doing everything at the last minute. Not really caring about consequences. Not taking enough risks, as opposed to taking too many. Putting too much energy into side-projects when I should have focussed on my degree/MA. Spending hours on the Internet when I should be asleep, working, shopping, cooking, exercising, anything! Being stoic about trivial things instead of just getting them done. Torturing myself with memories of when I've screwed up in the past. Convincing myself that there's no fairness in the world.

    And on the other side of the coin, I've learned to play an instrument. I've sung on stage with a band and performed in a few pubs to entertain friends. I've published poetry. I do martial arts/self-defence to a fairly high level. I'm respected locally as a very reliable goalkeeper, and right now I'm in the best shape of my life. I got my degree, even though I hated the time I spent doing it and ended up in counselling twice. I run an Irish language discussion forum and moderate some great forums here on Boards and have a decent little following for my blog. I've done the Gatekeeper and the ASIST suicide awareness and prevention courses and educated myself about mental health in general so I can help myself and so I can offer to be there for others.

    Talking about my life on-line has always helped. The year I spent modding the Clearasil & Hormones forum brought me close to an incredible group of exceptional young people. Most of them have stopped posting in that forum now, but we all helped each other through some really bad times. It didn't matter that some people suffered more than others. There was just an acceptance and an understanding and an empathy in that group that made the forum a magical little corner of the Internet. We are the generation who knows it's okay to talk and to share and to be honest. And all of that is possible because of this marvellous resource the OP has been building since the late 1990s.

    DeV, a million thanks for this platform and for encouraging people to use it for good, and for leading by example yourself. It'll be great to have this thread to look back on the next time I go through a dark spell.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 Snowie


    The other day some one said to me, they need to either turn the voltage up or down... I think there person was trying, to say Im nuts or crazy maybe even immature.

    But I think people confuse being random with being a bit mad really, I'm not, I suffered for 20 years of being well tbh pretty damm miserable, and its fine, Ive been bullied, Ive been singled out bye groups of people. I've had people stab my back I've had people gang up on me.. Ive had people mentally **** with me physically beat me. Ive had it all.


    So for a long time id say I've been depressed these days err not so much. But to a degree Im past the depression I'm trying to get over anger, anger at the people who singled me out ho hit me who hurt me for no reason what so ever...even a member Of family which is awful at times because I feel guilty.
    Getting over it slowly.. It takes time.


    But being honest, depression is not a glum feeling. Its fvcking hell. its like standing in the worlds biggest airport, with thousands of people walking around they don't really see you, because your completely out of faze with every one else, they don't notice your down or in the middle of your chest there's a black hole which is sucking any good feeling you have out of you.

    But people this is were theres a difference people rant mind readers if i had a penny for every time some ones asked me am I alright and not been able to talk about it because I was shy or embarrassed.

    It's all well and good promoting and trying to defend depression, but I'm sorry when your depressed your usually very selfish and only think about your self. but some times you don't know why. Some one said it to me, Well actually she said I think you have no self confidence, no self eseatem no value to your self or to any one, Finishing off with i think you suffer from depression.


    That person is the reason I'm able to write this. Id love to point out I love to hate her :D Im aloud.

    3 weeks later i was in the most aggressive therapy sessions you could imagine man I kicked the flying fvck out of that black hole. but

    Being honest these days all I want in life is to be happy and sod any one who trys to stop that telling me i gotta be successful, I just wanna be happy and when Im taking pictures I am. When Im being creative, I see the satisfaction and feel the satisfaction in my life that I never and I've only been taking photos a year and I've been told I've got potential My confidence is at an all time high.

    Im finishing of on a positive note. :)

    The only person who can change things is you and it takes work if your sick of it you the anger of being pissed of feeling like **** as the strength to deal with it because people who suffer from it. beat it with large sticks.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 58,881 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Wibbs


    Great opening post and great and welcome thread.

    I'd certainly agree with DeV on the depression/intelligence angle. IMHO and IME "thinkers" get it more and more often than less bright people, or bright people who are quite narrow in their focus. Of the cleverest people I know, I honestly can't think of one who didn't get it to some degree or other. Not necessarily requiring treatment, often situational triggered and for the majority thankfully temporary but they got more than a case of the "blues" that's for sure. Stands to reason. The more one sees the world, the more likely one also sees much of the BS of it. Objectively speaking the BS tends to outweigh the good stuff.
    DeVore wrote:
    "I'm a basketcase, ****ed up and if I tell people they will try to kill me with fire."
    1 in 4 suffer depression. At those odds if you tell two people, you are almost 50/50 to be talking to another sufferer. It's means almost every family has a member who is hit by it. It means everyone knows someone who has a mental health problem, probably several people.
    You aren't frankenstein's monster, they aren't going to chase you out of the village with torches.
    You aren't a freak. Ok maybe you ARE a freak, I dunno. but if you are, its not because of your mental health issue.
    This + 1000. It's incredibly common. People who talk about their own "black dog", whether that be a temporary encounter in their past or an ongoing issue in their lives less so, but thankfully that's changing.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭ efb


    Sleepless night- decided to head to my doc now


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,414 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭ DeVore


    Insect Overlord, your early life mirrors mine very closely!

    Snowie, if the black hole has balls, I hope you burst them :) Its good to hear therapy has you back to yourself and you are happy and focused.

    Depression can make people seem to be right selfish bastards sometimes. And sometimes thats true but sometimes its an interpretation of their actions by people who are trying to make sense of them. Like the person earlier on who said their boyfriend broke up with them.... well that sounds like he simply couldn't see a future for the relationship, many people who suffer depression feel like that, nothing could possible come from X and its dooooooomed to failure so why bother.


    Finally, great work Tom, you have something you want everyone to see and read.... so 5am on a Sunday morning is a GREAT time to post it. :):)
    Oh, im smart alright, reaaaaal smart lol :):p

    DeV.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,533 ✭✭✭ KKkitty


    I suffer from anxiety and even though it's no laughing matter I've done so many irrational things cos of anxiety. I can't have a pain without thinking something is wrong. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. I feel like a basket case most of the time.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,137 ✭✭✭ 44leto


    LOL
    A great OP, I was about to get on my high horse and write a big post challenging the thread title.

    I use to think it was a fake illness till I got a serious bout of it. It was like being lost in the middle of an endless dark forest and paralysed from the neck up.

    I got past mine, the drugs helped a lot and gave me some motivation with encouragement from a family member who does triathlons. So I trained and did a sprint triathlon, the training discipline helped and gave me a purpose, I did the triathlon and in no-way a world beating time, but I completed it. I have been lightly exercising since and the darkness hasn't returned.

    So contrary to the OP, in a way, I did walk it off and I keep it at bay that way.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭ cloud493


    I was diagnosed with depression, and Almost certainly bipolar, but Im not taking anything anymore. The funny thing is, I've never met anyone in real life who calls it depression. I don't call it depression. Without going in to specifics, since I already have in C&H, bad past. Lost of bad things.


    Please, talk to someone. I, not very long ago, March it was, after 7 years of self injury, decided I couldn't take it anymore, and went further than I'd normally go, nearly spilt my arm open apparently. It was so stupid, and the scars dont fade. Please, talk to someone. It's only a few words to the right person.


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,414 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭ DeVore


    Leto, each person finds their own coping mechanisms. I'm very similar to you exercise works for me. It doesnt work for everyone though, so each person needs to find their path to the surface.

    For me, hurtling down a mountain on a snowboard works wonders. you simply dont have the time or desire to be anything but 100% focused. I find it very hard to have that black ambivalence when I'm shredding :)
    But thats also temporary... what really works for me is fitness. When I'm training and really working myself to exhaustion there is a blanket of peace that comes and a few weeks of that and I stop feeling like I'm driving myself around from 6 foot behind myself. I feel like I really inhabit my body. (sorry, its a very hard to describe the feeling).

    Efp, if thats the only thing that comes from this thread, I've succeeded. Good luck mate, like your said if we all stick together and realise just how many of us there are, we'll never be alone.

    DeV.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,041 ✭✭✭ Seachmall


    I spoke to a counselor a few years ago who he mentioned he thought I was suffering depression however taking into account I can only remember having "depressive episodes" twice in my 20 odd years and a dozen or so of much lighter(?) "episodes" does this really count as depression? Surely it's too sparse to consider it depression?

    Is this simply a case of a counselor jumping to conclusions (only had a handful of sessions with him) or can depression be that sparse?


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,414 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭ DeVore


    You can get depressed once and never again imho. More common is periodic depression... I seem to go through periods of high/low activity. I'm not qualified to decide for you. If you feel its affecting your quality of life or family, you should talk to a professional just on the QT and get a check up.

    DeV.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 58,881 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Wibbs


    Seachmall wrote: »
    I spoke to a counselor a few years ago who he mentioned he thought I was suffering depression however taking into account I can only remember having "depressive episodes" twice in my 20 odd years and a dozen or so of much lighter(?) "episodes" does this really count as depression? Surely it's too sparse to consider it depression?

    Is this simply a case of a counselor jumping to conclusions (only had a handful of sessions with him) or can depression be that sparse?
    It's a small word for a huge range of human emotions and conditions. So yes you might be having low level background "noise" with the odd peak/trough. Plus you may not notice as it's just part of who you are and a trained outsider is more likely to see that. If in doubt, like with any medical issue you may have you can always get a second opinion. Indeed beyond the usual scrapes and sniffles I'd always go for one. On one occasion doing so likely saved my life.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭ efb


    My Depression is a chronic illness it goes away and come back. It's back now and I've gotta beat it.


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,414 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭ DeVore


    Efp, I just noticed you are an Arsenal fan! I was forced to pick a team this year (after years of slagging Hooliball) and I picked Arsenal.

    Maybe we both genuinely have something to be depressed about lol! :)

    Good luck, pm me if you feel like you want to talk.

    DeV.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1 catpeanut


    I have suffered for as long as I can remember. I have tried medication but it did not help, it numbed emotions for long stretches but the feelings of despair were deeper and more disruptive, and I frequently wanted to kill myself. I did try on one occasion. I am no longer on medication, and have come to terms with the fact that depression will be a longterm companion, I have to learn to live with it and manage it. For me, one thing that always helps is exercise. I am trying to reclaim my life, but unfortunately for me this struggle to stay alive has resulted in a very threadbare CV, that cannot be explained easily to potential employers. I feel that there is a huge stigma around mental health in the workplace. I am often perplexed by the people in society who on the one hand are dismayed by the suicide levels in this country and on the other are uncomfortable discussing or dealing with people with mental health issues. I feel that it is hard for people who are struggling to build a life for themselves to find opportunities, as there are gaps in employment history, etc. In fact, I was advised to say that these gaps were caused by anything other than mental illness. One person said to me that it would be better to be seen as a 'waster' than 'crazy'.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭ efb


    Cheers DeVora lol


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  • Registered Users Posts: 33,340 ✭✭✭✭ The_Kew_Tour


    I wrote this on soccer forum on the day that Gary Speed passed away the response was very good and just wanted to share it here too.

    It seemed some people to realise that we are not alone.

    Just want to thank the OP again as for a guy who is actually in same boat it's maybe one of the only threads I can really relate too.

    At the moment I have to say things are going well for me so cant complain, it's still there some bit, but slowly moving away from the really dark days.
    I kinda didn't feel I wanted post this, but I feel that maybe it might help someone else. If mods feel like should be removed that is fine

    I basically suffered from depression for while just recently. It's a cold place to be, really cold. I felt I may never really see the next day and well there were days I taught would be my last.

    But I have great friends and thankfully one day I just let it all out to them. I taught I would embarrassed, but what I felt was great sense of relief. My family really showed how much they cared when they found out too.

    If you do suffer from depression there is help. There is no shame in it and no your not selfish no matter what some may think.

    Honestly I taught there wasn't, I taught I was alone, but people do care. You can talk to someone. There is always better days ahead, not everyday will be easy, but the world can be better place for people who want it to be.

    What happened today brings it all back, but I would just like think that this message would maybe help someone that maybe going through something similar


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 58,881 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Wibbs


    Luckily today we have more treatments and options than in the past. Now this country is not the best at all with regard to some aspects of treatment, more importantly access to treatment, but things are so much better than a generation ago. Ditto for public perception. It's not that long ago that people and their families suffered for years because society saw them as people who had "something wrong with their nerves".

    We've still a way to go though. You just have to look at our nations relationship with alcohol and other drugs. Never mind smokin weed or necking the old disco biscuits, look at the uproar over the sale restrictions of over the counter codeine medicines. The Saturday night streets are full of people off their heads and regularly so. There are even more people behind respectable houses seeking relaxation/solace in the "odd glass of vino" every single night. IMHO there is a lot more self medication going on that people admit to or realise.

    I certainly fell into that at one point in my life. Won't bore with the details suffice to say a trio of personal tragedies hit over a very short period of time. I coped well enough with it externally, but for the guts of 5 years I needed a couple of beers to sleep. It was literally two beers, but I needed them. One night coming home from a job I realised I didn't have those two beers and as it was after the offies closed went into a panic. Even contemplated leaving the car in a pub carpark and walking home. That's when I realised WTF. Now I know perfectly fine people who will have a glass of wine every night, but they don't need it. The fact I did was hiding something deeper. Thankfully realising that was 2/3rds of my personal solution, but it showed me in a small way how bloody easy it can be to fall into that stuff and way of thinking.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,414 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭ DeVore


    I wonder if there is a genetic element to depression too. My father gets it , my grandfather rarely left his bed (so, hilariously, I grew up thinking Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was perfectly reasonable to portray grandparents who never left bed!). They didnt know what was wrong with him so despite the fact that the man was as hard as nails, was cranky as f*ck with everyone but me, they blamed it on his "nerves". (wtf?!)

    My dad has so much socialised stigma about it that even though his father AND his son both get it.... and that he willingly takes medicine he knows is specifically for depression, he wont accept that he gets depressed. :)
    He cant accept he has a mental health issue, its like someone who is gay who is in denial! lol...

    I've long ago accepted that this is something I have to tend to and keep an eye on. Like a mole on my skin. But its not who I am. It doesnt define me. Its something kinda stuck on to me and I'm damned if I'm going to give it any more control than it already has had.

    DeV.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,758 Temaz


    I suffer from serious depression and anxiety and am doing ok at the moment. i just want to say that if there is someone reading this post or thread and you are feeling low, anxious or agitated please go to your GP, tell your Mam-dad-close friend. Help is out there!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 14,694 ✭✭✭✭ Earthhorse


    44leto wrote: »
    So contrary to the OP, in a way, I did walk it off and I keep it at bay that way.

    Just as there are many different types of depression - some people get anxious, some sad, some feel empty - so too are there many ways out of it; excercise, diet, talk, having a hobby, keeping company, knocking alcohol on the head, getting into a good sleep routine. So I would say to people trying to fight it "try everything". Don't dismiss something because the research says it doesn't work; if it works for you, it works.

    The problem with the "snap out of it" brigade is they believe it's a one-size-fits-all solution.
    Seachmall wrote: »
    I spoke to a counselor a few years ago who he mentioned he thought I was suffering depression however taking into account I can only remember having "depressive episodes" twice in my 20 odd years and a dozen or so of much lighter(?) "episodes" does this really count as depression? Surely it's too sparse to consider it depression?

    Is this simply a case of a counselor jumping to conclusions (only had a handful of sessions with him) or can depression be that sparse?

    Nobody here can tell you. As others have said, if you find it's interfering in your ability to get on with life then a visit to the doctor may be in order.

    I do think depression can be over-diagnosed at times; in particular I often think it is simply a co-morbid condition but by the time it's got someone in its grip only the symptoms of depression are really showing. So say someone suffers from social anxiety and so they start avoiding social situations, and eventually, this leads to them becoming depressed. When they go see the doctor all they may be able to see is the depression and not the thing that kicked it off; there's a burden of responsibility here on both patient and doctor to open up a little more and to dig a little deeper. It's hard but it's worth it in the long run.

    Good luck to anyone fighting depression at the moment or close to someone who is. I hope it gets better for you. :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 23,439 ✭✭✭✭ ejmaztec


    My mother suffered with depression, and unfortunately had a GP who liked throwing medication at the problem, so much so that she ended up hospitalised due to dehydration from the effects of it. The hospital doctor was so aghast at the medication that she was on, she took her off most of it, but when my mother was released from hospital she went to see her GP, the dumb quack put her back on everything that he prescribed before.

    Fortunately, I've never suffered depression, the slight madness keeps it at bay.


  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,951 Mod ✭✭✭✭ dr.bollocko


    mod:
    ch750536 Don't post in this thread again please.


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,414 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭ DeVore


    You need to talk to professionals, I dunno if anyone here can give you advice but perhaps some suggestions. Just be careful, its the internet after all :)

    There are support groups out there for familys and from my experience of Pieta house they would be my first suggestion. I think its part of their formal remit to assist familys but if not, I'm sure they would help informally with advice.

    DeV.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 58,881 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Wibbs


    DeVore wrote: »
    I wonder if there is a genetic element to depression too. My father gets it , my grandfather rarely left his bed (so, hilariously, I grew up thinking Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was perfectly reasonable to portray grandparents who never left bed!).
    :D From what I've read about it it seems to have a genetic element alright. IIRC strong element in bipolar with a little less in unipolar? Maybe more of a tendency though? A couple of studies of more primitive societies show much less depression in evidence.

    Shouldn't be a surprise though. It's not that long ago we lived in small extended family groups that were much more "solid" than today. We also had a more spiritual angle going on and lives were less stressful, or more to the point the stresses were different and less chronic and there was a bigger group/tribal support structure when such stresses hit. Also today we're all bombarded by so much information and "stuff" than ever before. Our amazing human mind laps this up, but it does put more individual pressure on us IMHO.

    Even with more avenues of interaction than in our history we're ironically we're often more disconnected from each other. We're also more exposed to success in others. Some guy or gal in a tribe is comparing themselves to maybe 30 others? The average person in the modern world is comparing themselves to billions and too highly successful outliers and that could have an effect and make individuals feel worthless, or just another cog in a huge machine. We're too fat, too stupid, too poor, not pretty enough, not strong enough, not cool enough, etc. This is getting worse not better. When you see already impossibly thin and naturally beautiful women being tweaked by software into an impossible image of humanity and womanhood you have to wonder. Of course what we define as "success" is another thread in of itself...

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭ krudler


    op thats genuinely one of the best posts I've ever read on boards. fair play for being so candid about it.


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