How the hell do I decide this one?!

UNBELIEEEEVABLY there's some sound advice on AH for such a risky question!

Thanks everyone, Sound;)

IBarelyCare :):) haha it's been a while, thanks for your input! I've actually already openly admitted before coming here that the only way I would leave this job within the next few years was for a woman - I just didnt expect to meet her within my first week. Seriously though, You know me and you should know if I come out with a comment so openly such as "I have never met or felt for anyone like this in my life " then it's not your average girl....I really think this is it!

As for her not making effort - She has made her feelings clear to me. Also I don't have any motives to settle in Ireland and for years now I've been open to settling wherever I meet the right person, I'd be more than happy to try Canada - I've spent more than 6 of the last 10 years abroad ,be it Spain, Oz, Africa or wherever else I've travelled/lived so homesick is not something I worry about.

For now, I reckon I'll finish my next trip, then get a ridiculously expensive return flight Nairobi - Toronto & Visit her for a few weeks....If I don;t think its right Ill go back to my job in Africa and if it looks like its working I'll maybe do one more trip in Africa and return to hopefully give it a proper go in Canada with her on a Working Holiday Visa.

Right thanks everyone, I've to try and get out of Jo'Burg now. Later

Reviving an old Thread of mine, In need of advice more than ever!

Basically I fcked up!

Went to see this girl in Canada for 4 weeks & it went well for a while but then it went a bit sour - spending 24/7 together was tough and I was a bit of an asshole during this time. Only reason I can offer is that I see now how I resented the fact that I was being asked to choose between my dream girl and the job I am currently in and felt serious pressure this whole time....but thats just an excuse...I still shouldnt have done it and given her more respect in that sense.

Anyway I made a huge mistake. I told her I needed time to think after my trip over there and asked that we didnt speak about the future as I was finding it difficult. So we kept in touch (not enough on my part ill admit although it was very hard given my job in Africa ie not much internet) and eventually when I came back to her to tell her I wanted to see her again she was pissed off with me that I thought I could just decide this for her....She was right. I've since given her a lot of space and not a lot of contact. She made it clear she was making plans without me and so I tried to move on after making a serious effort to dissuade her - respectfully. So I did.....

Listen I know I've been an effing banker, For everyone that knows me on Boards I'm not capable of doing this normally and very embarrassed about it all. I don't need to hear how selfish and inconsiderate I've been - Ive been aware for this for long time now and aware that I've made my bed and need lie in it......but ffs I've made a huge mistake. She HAS since been in touch with me - basically to tell me she was annoyed that she no longer got exicted to see my emails because I had been such an ass to her.....I saw this as her possibly (guessing) making an attempt to get back in touch...my response I kept short thinking it best to show her that I was not gonna pressure her anymore and apologised to her that she felt the way she did because of me...that was 2 weeks ago.


Do you think there's much chance I can regain her trust?

No they're valid questions.

I'm willing to make all those moves if she'll have me back

The 4/5 weeks should have been so much better, I always had one eye on getting back to my job away from the temptation (the girl) of leaving it.....my mistake. I should have left when whe asked me but was afraid I would regret that decision in itself and therefore resent her!