Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Course was/is terrible,I was the youngest there by a good 15 years or so and I was the only one not drugged up and zombified,conversations with the group consisted of what was on the lunch menu(a good hour+) and the activity of the day was painting by numbers.Completely baffled as to why my psych recommended it.

Left feeling way worse then when I went in,it's like my fears of ending up like the shell's of people I used to see when visiting my uncle when he was in a psychiatric hospital are coming true.I don't want to come across like an asshole or like I feel that I'm better then any of the people there,but my problems are definitely not nearly as severe as theirs.

Not a snowballs chance in hell I'm going back.

starviewadams wrote: »

Not a snowballs chance in hell I'm going back.

I hear what you're saying, but I'm going to play devils advocate and suggest maybe try it for a few weeks and see how you get on, it can't make you any worse and at least you'll have tried it and you can definitely say it's not for you.

As for me, I had been doing grand, but my mood really dropped last week and got unbelievably low at the weekend, it "climaxed" over Sunday and Monday and I spent half of Monday in the toilet in work crying my eyes out, so Monday evening I admitted myself to hospital. I hated the thought of going back in, but figured it was the safest thing to do at that stage and anyone I'd told that I was back in agreed that it was a pretty strong thing to do. Hopefully I won't be here too long, but luckily I was able to get a bed anyway.

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2011/0516/breaking17.html

Dont think this was posted yet on boards. Most likely its not "all in your head" as many people think. Should lead to better treatments and maybe even cures in 10-20 years which isnt that long when you hear people suffering for decades with this awful problem.

girlonfire wrote: »

I went out for a few drinks last night. I was skulling them back on top of the xanax I'd been taking throughout the day as I felt so out of my comfort zone. It seems to be the only way I can get by when I'm out lately. I wasn't too hammered or anything, but I'm now analyzing every little thing I said and feeling like the most stupid, awful, annoying person on the planet.
I feel hideous and that pit of despair is growing.
I honestly don't know how much longer I can go on if something doesn't change. I've no interest in living a life like this.
A friend of mine was talking about how wonderful life is last night and how happy she is to be alive. I'm glad that she feels that. I just wonder why I cannot. I used to think like that and now all I can think of is getting from day to day, making sure to keep up appearances. F***!

Pretty much all this,was out with 'friends' last night and ended up getting pretty shítfaced just to drown out how happy and optimistic everyone else seemed to be.Every single one of them seems to glide through life with such ease and I'm really jealous of that to be honest.Also think I said a few things that I probably shouldn't have.

--LOS-- wrote: »

just wondering if anyone here has tried sleeping pills? I've had sleep problems for a long time but its especially bad since christmas. Sick of it now, its just torture being awake all night even though youre dying for sleep and then maybe catching the odd bit the next day when you should be up. Do you think sleeping pills even make you feel rested? Or is it best to avoid them at all if you can, definitely wouldn't want to start relying on them.

They won't give them to you for longer than 2 weeks at the absolute most, so they're not a great long term help really.
Have you tried the new melatonin re uptake anti dep?
I haven't, but I'd like to try it if my current anti dep doesn't work out.
It's supposed to sort out your circadian (sp?) rhythm.

--LOS-- wrote: »

just wondering if anyone here has tried sleeping pills? I've had sleep problems for a long time but its especially bad since christmas. Sick of it now, its just torture being awake all night even though youre dying for sleep and then maybe catching the odd bit the next day when you should be up. Do you think sleeping pills even make you feel rested? Or is it best to avoid them at all if you can, definitely wouldn't want to start relying on them.

I was given Diazepam (valium) for a few months and they knocked me out and did the job, but I felt dopey for a good hour or two once I woke up,doc switched them for a high dose phenergan tablets(an anti-histamine with sedative qualitys) because she was afraid of me getting addicted to the vals,much rather being on the phenergan because it knocks me out but I don't have the brain fuzz when I wake up.

flutterflye wrote: »

Not trying to be smart, but why ask about sleeping pills if you don't want to take meds?

Re sleeping pills- xanax/valium are in my opinion the best at actually getting you to sleep, rather than the general sleeping pills.
That might just be me though.

Have you gone to the health shop and asked in there what they suggest seeing as you don't want meds?

I'm sorry I meant to specify the kind of meds you were talking about, for depression. One of the main things that gets to me is not being able to shut down, that's why I asked about sleeping pills.

I've also tried loads of herbal alternatives before, the effect they have on you though is just a drop in the ocean.

girlonfire wrote: »

Started using them a number of years ago as a short term measure. Ended up becoming completely dependent on them and my sleep pattern has suffered ever since. The best way to take them is with the intention of getting a decent sleep routine back. They did not give me a natural nights sleep, but when you're living on a miniscule amount of sleep, they help a lot.

That's exactly what I want, it is just impossible to do anything when I'm trying to catch a few hours here and there when I should be up, just wasting days.

stupidusername wrote: »

anyway, what I've been thinking a lot about lately is my social problems. have a beers coming up, and i'm going. I've been to so many, but because i've made myself so conscious of my lack of conversation skills i'm now feeling quite nervous about this.. and well talking to anybody in person. I don't know how other people do it. I mean, my brain just doesn't churn out topics of conversation. I usually end up talking about myself and my experiences if that's the way the conversation leads, but then i'm awfully aware that i might come off as self centred.

I feel quite like this sometimes when I look back over my social anxiety. Not as bad as it used to be but always felt anxious going to new social settings because of the outlined bits. I guess just being in a situation of people who don't know who you are makes it daunting to just try be yourself without yourself thinking you may be making an arse of things. But at the end of the day I think what causes the problem most is the first outlined bit: " i've made myself so concious about this ". I think, looking at it from my own outside view of myself and my experience of it, probably being so concious or constantly thinking of it will only make it worse and in turn affects physical habits too such as anxiety, fidgeting, heart palpitations, shortness of breath etc.

I'd say relaxing about it and don't worry about it too much is the best thing, at the end of the day not everyone is great at conversation & you don't need to be constantly reminding yourself if you need to say or do somthing all the time. I know I'm not good at conversation myself, but I always talk when the conversation flows better naturally without it being too forced & talking within your own time is best.

Well I hope it goes like that, I know I could use some of it myself as I do try plan on going to the beers this Saturday also. I think if you look back at yourself & the friends you've made as being yourself, I think it kinda hits home a little better than it can't be all that bad right?

On another note, I felt great last week but suddenly had an awful weekend when anxiety reared it's ugly head. Planning on going to see a Doctor soonish who also knows alot about nutritional psychiatry and anxiety in general.

stupidusername wrote: »

I get what you're saying, but the thing is what do people talk about!? i was talking to a friend about this at the weekend and he was saying much of what I thought, but the thing is most of the time conversation just doesn't flow. and yeah I realise that may be down to the other person too, and it may not be a bad thing, but I can't help but feel boring when it happens. I'm always quite worried I come off like i'm always complaining too, i'm fairly sure that's the way people perceive me.

I've been doing good lately, better than a long time, but today I don't know what happened, I just woke up a little pissed off.when i started getting agitated by everything I managed to realise that it was different and that it was probably just a mood, but I haven't shaken it all day.

I'm the same as you too.
No idea what to say to people most of the time.

I sometimes wish real life were like online forums.
That you could just waltz in and offer your opinion on something that interests you, and ignore things that don't interest you.

And I hate small talk - have no idea at all how to do it!

Most of the time I feel like crap, so all that's going through my head are things that are bothering me.
I can hardly go talk to people about that, so I don't bother talking to people at all rather than boring them.

Stoopid depression. Ugh.