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What's the most retarded thing you've done in your entire life?
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I once ran into a wall at full speed. Aged 16 playing a game of killer cricket. I must have been too focused on winning because I honestly didn't see that wall coming.
Me, my bro and my cousin used to take turns wrapping one of us in a duvet cover and throwing them down the stairs "for a laugh". That was pretty retarded. I was 12.
On several occasions, I've had to phone friends to ask them what year it is
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When I was a teenager I was making guacamole with a one of those hand-held stick blenders. Noticed there was some stuck underneath the blades and went to scoop it out with my finger. The worst thing was, before I did it I thought "oh I should plug that out first, na, surely I wouldn't actually be stupid enough to press the button while I have my finger in there". I guess it was a case of "don't think of a big pink elephant".
Ick, those blades rotate, so I peeled the top of my finger in a kind of spiral thing down to the first knuckle. I was sure I'd actually taken the top of it off but thankfully I only pressed it for half a second or something. The weird thing was, my first thought was "well feck, now I can never be a hand model"
I could be a cool scar-hand-slightly-wonky-fingernail model now though. And I still like guacamole, ruined it for my mother though. 0 -
Clare Elegant Museum wrote: »When I was a teenager I was making guacamole with a one of those hand-held stick blenders. Noticed there was some stuck underneath the blades and went to scoop it out with my finger. The worst thing was, before I did it I thought "oh I should plug that out first, na, surely I wouldn't actually be stupid enough to press the button while I have my finger in there". I guess it was a case of "don't think of a big pink elephant".
Ick, those blades rotate, so I peeled the top of my finger in a kind of spiral thing down to the first knuckle. I was sure I'd actually taken the top of it off but thankfully I only pressed it for half a second or something. The weird thing was, my first thought was "well feck, now I can never be a hand model" I could be a cool scar-hand-slightly-wonky-fingernail model now though. And I still like guacamole, ruined it for my mother though.
Bwahaha, I love it. The irrelevant thoughts that go through someone's head at the most inappropriate times! Makes me wonder... When people say "I wonder what was going through his head before he died" for example. It's probably the most random thought going.
I have done stupid things but 'retarded'? How does someone do something... retarded?!
I did drink Dettol surface cleaner by mistake. It was late and I was half asleep. Didn't drink enough for it to affect me but the taste is something I couldn't shave off my tongue if I tried0 -
A) Stuck my fingers into a desk lamp, where the bulb goes in, while it was switched on. Was like Thump-thump-thump-thump.. on my fingers :x.
When randomly getting rid of crap in the presses, by putting them in the fire - I put sugar in, while taking some of it out with the poker, i dripped some on my hand - and picked the scar off. It made a sorta eye-shaped scar. When I make a fist, and move my thumb, it makes a talking face type thing.
C) Pick a LOT of scabs - thus, scars.
D) While in primary school, we used to run from the doors (which are glass with the thin wire grid inside, at the front of the school) to the grass, and back, finishing when we hit into the doors. I ran into it and chipped my top centre-right [i.e. the one the right-hand-side of the two middle ones] incisor. BARELY missed the nerve. Got a cap eventually at the dentist. Due to me never brushing my teeth for ages, when I finally did, it came off.
E) Haven't brushed my teeth for YEARS (like, an amount that isn't even funny - like 8+ years, probably 10 at this stage) until very recently - Always found it too much of an effort. Luckily none of my teeth have rotten, wisdom teeth are actually growing, and none have fallen out (yet), or had to be pulled. *Touch Wood*
I'm an idiot :rolleyes:0 -
Well, back when I was like 14 my friends and I thought it would be a deadly idea to get pissed off our minds. So we got these lads to buy us like 2 massive bottles of vodka. We went down to the river side and began drinking away. Me being the cool hardy lad I am, I fooking downed like half the bottle raw in 10 mins. Yeah I became extremely messy, I remember just being an idiot for the first short while, then things started to get hazy.
After that I remember being carried by my two other friends along the river side, next thing I remember running along the side of a road while my two friends chased me, one of them grabbed me and told me to calm the f**k down. I boxed his square in the face and ripped the bottle of vodka from his had and ran away with it again.
Another blackout, next thing I remember is being along side another road strewn over my friends shoulders, some old lady asked "is he alright" and cars were beeping and "whaaaay'ing" as they passed.
Then, suddenly Im in my friends house, sitting on the toilet. I fall sideways, knocking the entire toilet off the wall somehow. To which my friends bust in and pull up my piss soaked pants, boxers and tidy me up etc.
Black out again. Next, I am screaming my head off at the top of my voice "SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE!!! CALL 911 CALL 911!! IM DYING!!!! AAAAAAAH" Friends not impressed, trying to calm me.
Then I'm sitting in the back of my mothers car puke everywhere, and my mother is roaring something at me.
Outside the back door of my house, parents trying to drag my inside, again I begin screaming "HEEEELPPP HEEEELP I NEED AN AMBULANCE HEEEEELLLP". I think its time I note that I was in great pain at this stage, not that I remember much of it, I just remember feeling an extremely bad pain.
My little 7 year old brother asking "whats wrong?" to which my parents replying "oh he's just a little bit sick".
Thats the last thing I really remember, from what I was told I was put on the couch in the spare room, and I puked many times nearly choking myself to death. I awoke in the morning in my bedroom.
Walked down, hardly remembering what happened last night, but I knew it was terrible. Shamefully walked in the kitchen, parents not impressed. They made me clean out the car until the smell and look of sick was gone. Then I was made wash my puke stained clothes in the reeds next to my house. I was banned from going to the upcoming concert, which I paid €80 for.
I looked at my phone and I got a message from someone saying "Are you selling that concert ticket?". I deleted it in a blind fit of embarrassment and anger, I didn't know who it was from. My money down the drain.
My mother had documented the entire trip home on her camera, and made me look at every photo. and apparently she said some really nasty stuff to me in front of my friends. I told them I don't want to know, and I still don't.
Im now 19, and I think its one of the most retarded things I have ever done. not only did I have to put my friends through that shíte, but my friends family saw. I ****ed up their toilet, dragged through have of the town and laughed at by everyone who heard about it.
Even to this day I still get the piss taken out of me by all, but I take it good. Its quite funny whenever I'm with my parents and I get a beer or something and they say "oh drinking are we? CALL 911 AAAH AAAAH". I just smile and shake my head. Oh, and ever since I wont drink much or any spirits because the horrid taste of vodka looms in my mouth since that day and seems 100 times worse.
Oh and I pissed myself like 3 times during this ordeal
Fairplay to my good friends for not abandoning me. Helping me all the way and calling my parents. They weren't too bothered over it at all the following day. Thank jaysus they didn't let me get on the train which I was supposed to be taking home. I have visions of me being cuffed at the last stop, Waterford train station and shoved into the back of a garda van.0 -
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That's not retarded that's just disgusting.
I guess it's mostly because of my being young and thinking "what's the point in the effort", and retarded that I thought so.
I guess it's a good thing I don't smoke, drink coffee, drink (which doesn't contribute as much) - so nothing of the really staining stuff.0 -
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should really delete his number, but I just can't make myself do it. 
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