Why is long hair on men seen as such a negative thing by a lot of people?

vampire of kilmainham · 01-03-2011 12:54pm

Galvasean wrote: »

Jesus has never looked so sexy.

I don't get it at all. I used to have long wavy blonde hair, but got it cut as it was interfering with work (getting caught in headphones). The amount of abuse my female friends / co-workers have given me since for cutting it!

ya just cant win with people thats why i just take no notice an do my own thing i dont give a bollix what people think and yes i have long hair and a beard **** yis all:D:D:D

Risteard · 01-03-2011 1:40pm

I remember growing my hair long. Started back in fourth year and was terrible for ages as I have thick curly hair. Started to get knotted as it grew longer. This was down to the fact that I was a bit naieve and just expected it to grow long with no problems and I barely took care of it, especially bad consideirng I play rugby and so it gets caked in mud more often than not, at one stage I felt a small dreadlock in the back of my hair. :eek:

Anyway, got a lot of it cut back about 2 years ago and started growing it again, this time taking better care of it and I honestly can't picture myself cutting it back down to a 'normal' haircut now, it's still not as long as I'd like but it's getting there.

Obviously going through school, the knackers in the younger years used to shout 'hippy' and stuff if I walked past but I just ignored them. Overall I haven't had many negative experiences because of my hair bar once where I got into a fight and the guy started pulling it meaning I couldn't do an awful lot bar swing blindly and hoped I hit him.

wiger toods · 01-03-2011 1:47pm

Howard the Duck wrote: »

The kinda girls i go for always seem to like guys with long hair. I'm battling just to keep it,never mind being able to grow it long. I have no pity for the long haired hippes... just jealously.

Aah brother! you and me have a lot in common. Thankfully tis a battle im winning thanks to the many,many,many wonder drugs that are out there today!:pac::pac::pac::pac:

RebelSoul · 01-03-2011 10:15pm

As a dude with long hair, or a "hair farmer" as my old boss used to call me, I see the negativity people have towards it reguarly. I can't understand why though. I think it boils down to the fact that it's against the norm and as we all know some people love to critique others because it makes them feel better about their own crappy existence.

LegacyUser · 02-03-2011 12:22am

I see the negativity people have towards it reguarly. I can't understand why though. I think it boils down to the fact that it's against the norm and as we all know some people love to critique others because it makes them feel better about their own crappy existence.

nah nothing to do with that at all, it's just a maturity thing, long hair as in shoulder length on men is fine IMHO as long as its in good condition, any longer and it gets a bit childish/immature. The same applies to women though, you know that 28 year old woman with hair past her ass thing, it just looks wrong! or a 50 year old woman with hair half way down her back, its the same thing, there's just something so very immature and unattractive about it.

Big Tone · 04-03-2011 12:34pm

Seems to be a particularly UK and Ireland thing where most men sport very tight razor-cut hairstyles. If you travel to the continent the men sport a much fuller head of hair, long compared to here, especially noticable on european soccer players.

Galvasean · 04-03-2011 12:37pm

I was in France recently I'd say roughly half of men have long hair there. Interestingly, long hair seems to be more common there in men in their 30s and 40s than in their 20s.

Monkey61 · 04-03-2011 6:01pm

I think it always comes down to what kind of hair suits a particular person. That said, I have only met one man with long hair that it REALLY suited, and that was more scruffy, indie boy chin length sort of long, rather than hanging down his back or ponytail long.

Long hair goes with certain looks. My sister and cousin both love men with long hair, but they also love metal, tatoos, piercings etc, so it all fits in with a certain image that they are attracted to. In my opinion, none of their boyfriends have ever suited their long hair, but I don't find that kind of look in any way attractive and they obviously do.

I used to work with a guy with very long hair. Perfect condition, would constantly get girls commenting on how beautifully soft and shiny his hair was....but none of them found him attractive. He looked like the bad guy with the pony tail in Kindergarten Cop. He got drunk one night and his friends chopped off the ponytail and then shaved bits of his head, forcing him to get it all shaved off the next day. (He did agree to this at the time mind you). He walked into work with new short hair and every single girl in the place practically fell over. He was suddenly absolutely gorgeous, could see his face, eyes properly etc. Nobody had even noticed that he was good looking before as the hair just took over. He went out that night and for the first time ever was suddenly being chatted up by loads of girls and wishes he had gotten rid of the hair years before and was suddenly loads more confident. Plus, you actually saw him, not just his hair, when you first met him.

So I guess the moral of the story is...find a hair style that actually suits you. Yes long hair can be shiny and beautiful in itself but if it doesn't suit your features then it becomes the first thing that people notice about you and probably not in a positive way.

liah · 04-03-2011 7:06pm

Monkey61 wrote: »

I think it always comes down to what kind of hair suits a particular person. That said, I have only met one man with long hair that it REALLY suited, and that was more scruffy, indie boy chin length sort of long, rather than hanging down his back or ponytail long.

Long hair goes with certain looks. My sister and cousin both love men with long hair, but they also love metal, tatoos, piercings etc, so it all fits in with a certain image that they are attracted to. In my opinion, none of their boyfriends have ever suited their long hair, but I don't find that kind of look in any way attractive and they obviously do.

I used to work with a guy with very long hair. Perfect condition, would constantly get girls commenting on how beautifully soft and shiny his hair was....but none of them found him attractive. He looked like the bad guy with the pony tail in Kindergarten Cop. He got drunk one night and his friends chopped off the ponytail and then shaved bits of his head, forcing him to get it all shaved off the next day. (He did agree to this at the time mind you). He walked into work with new short hair and every single girl in the place practically fell over. He was suddenly absolutely gorgeous, could see his face, eyes properly etc. Nobody had even noticed that he was good looking before as the hair just took over. He went out that night and for the first time ever was suddenly being chatted up by loads of girls and wishes he had gotten rid of the hair years before and was suddenly loads more confident. Plus, you actually saw him, not just his hair, when you first met him.

So I guess the moral of the story is...find a hair style that actually suits you. Yes long hair can be shiny and beautiful in itself but if it doesn't suit your features then it becomes the first thing that people notice about you and probably not in a positive way.

This, a gazillion times: this!

Apologies in advance lads, but I'm going to be pretty blunt, please don't take it personally :pac: I'm only trying to understand!

I can say I have NEVER found a guy with long hair attractive (in fact, ponytails are a very distinct and immediate turnoff of mine, especially after a certain age).. but have found many formerly long-haired guys attractive once they finally got the chop, because their face wasn't being dragged down by a forest of hair. Long hair very, very, very rarely is actually legitimately flattering on a guy. And by long hair, I mean below the earlobe, since there's a gray area above that depending on hair type.

I just don't understand why guys even like hair that long. Speaking from experience with long hair, it's freaking annoying (let's just not talk about wind) and if it didn't suit me long I'd chop it all off. It's harder to take care of. On a male, it looks, frankly, a bit juvenile in the whole "HEY! HEY LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! I'm stickin' it to the maaaan!" or "HEY! HEY LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! I'm standing out by conforming to a stereotype (metal/emo/whatever)!" sense. Neither of which are particularly attractive traits in an adult male.

Would any long haired guys care to elaborate on why exactly they like having long hair, if they think it actually suits them and why they wear it long?

Up-n-atom! · 04-03-2011 7:22pm

^ ^ ^ ^
NOOOOOOooooooOOOOO!!! Fair enough, it's you're opinion, but I don't understand why people have this attitude to long hair (that it's attention-seeking etc) - it's just a hairstyle, on the whole (going by the long-haired fellers I know) a lot of thought hasn't gone into it, it's just something they want to try, like growing a beard. It's not like a lot of existential agony has gone into the decision (but I can't speak for everyone!) And what's wrong with a bit of variety - I like the long hair but it doesn't stop me liking the short hair either, and all the lenghts inbetween...why put limits of these things?!

This would be more my opinion:

So I guess the moral of the story is...find a hair style that actually suits you. Yes long hair can be shiny and beautiful in itself but if it doesn't suit your features then it becomes the first thing that people notice about you and probably not in a positive way.

Long hair might not suit some people, but short hair doesn't suit some people as well! I've been shallow enough to stop fancying someone when they've had a bad haircut.

liah · 04-03-2011 7:44pm

Up-n-atom! wrote: »

^ ^ ^ ^
NOOOOOOooooooOOOOO!!! Fair enough, it's you're opinion, but I don't understand why people have this attitude to long hair (that it's attention-seeking etc) - it's just a hairstyle, on the whole (going by the long-haired fellers I know) a lot of thought hasn't gone into it, it's just something they want to try, like growing a beard. It's not like a lot of existential agony has gone into the decision (but I can't speak for everyone!) And what's wrong with a bit of variety - I like the long hair but it doesn't stop me liking the short hair either, and all the lenghts inbetween...why put limits of these things?!

This would be more my opinion:

Long hair might not suit some people, but short hair doesn't suit some people as well! I've been shallow enough to stop fancying someone when they've had a bad haircut.

The attention-seeking thing comes from the large amount of long-haired guys* I spoke to either conforming to some stereotype (metal, for example) or tending to be a bit anti-authority or just rebellious or trying to prove a point ("man people love to judge"), I really don't expect all lads to be like that, it's just something I've noticed. I just don't get why they want long hair. Does it not drive you nuts?

*just going to clarify my definition of 'long-haired': this I consider long hair / this I don't consider long hair (mid-length, imo)

cocoa · 04-03-2011 8:17pm

liah wrote: »

I just don't understand why guys even like hair that long. Speaking from experience with long hair, it's freaking annoying (let's just not talk about wind) and if it didn't suit me long I'd chop it all off. It's harder to take care of. On a male, it looks, frankly, a bit juvenile in the whole "HEY! HEY LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! I'm stickin' it to the maaaan!" or "HEY! HEY LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! I'm standing out by conforming to a stereotype (metal/emo/whatever)!" sense. Neither of which are particularly attractive traits in an adult male.

Would any long haired guys care to elaborate on why exactly they like having long hair, if they think it actually suits them and why they wear it long?

Have to say I disagree with the attention seeking vibe as well, I have fairly long hair (maybe a foot) and I have no desire to stick it to the man and I'm not a rocker. To me it's just another part of me, same as my clothes or my preference for gouda or edam cheese. I find some people make a big deal about it while others don't. I've had it complimented both short and long so really I don't mind too much either way. In terms of bother, I really don't think it's that bad, I brush every day and wash maybe every other day, I don't blow dry and I don't style my hair other than tying it back or not. This means it's not much trouble and it's in better condition than hair that's over treated.

Personally, I love the feel of the wind in my hair, no idea what you're complaining about there...

Risteard · 04-03-2011 10:28pm

liah wrote: »

This, a gazillion times: this!

Apologies in advance lads, but I'm going to be pretty blunt, please don't take it personally :pac: I'm only trying to understand!

I can say I have NEVER found a guy with long hair attractive (in fact, ponytails are a very distinct and immediate turnoff of mine, especially after a certain age).. but have found many formerly long-haired guys attractive once they finally got the chop, because their face wasn't being dragged down by a forest of hair. Long hair very, very, very rarely is actually legitimately flattering on a guy. And by long hair, I mean below the earlobe, since there's a gray area above that depending on hair type.

I just don't understand why guys even like hair that long. Speaking from experience with long hair, it's freaking annoying (let's just not talk about wind) and if it didn't suit me long I'd chop it all off. It's harder to take care of. On a male, it looks, frankly, a bit juvenile in the whole "HEY! HEY LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! I'm stickin' it to the maaaan!" or "HEY! HEY LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! I'm standing out by conforming to a stereotype (metal/emo/whatever)!" sense. Neither of which are particularly attractive traits in an adult male.

Would any long haired guys care to elaborate on why exactly they like having long hair, if they think it actually suits them and why they wear it long?

Perfectly honest, I started growing my hair when I started listening to (you guessed it) metal. There wasn't anything 'anti-authority' about it I just liked it. Up until then I had always gotten my head shaved with a 2 blade and never really liked it, and I didn't think that suited me.

I've 'had doubts' of course about my hair which lead to me getting it cut shortish twice since but immediately both times I regretted it and the only reason I wanted it cut in the first place was that it was in a ****ty condition where there was lots of different lengths of layers, which when you have curly hair isn't the best.

Anyway now it's grand it's nearly all the one length and thick. I won't say it's perfect condition because it's not, but I like it and think it suits me. I'd rather be happy with the way I look myself first and foremost than the way anybody else thinks I look.

Though I suppose I should say that my hair isn't down to my chest long, it's just starting to get past the tops of my shoulders because it's not straight. I just keep saying that I'll let it grow as long to the point that I don't like it and just get it cut back to the way it is now.

sensibleken · 05-03-2011 12:54pm

I have long hair because as a human being i can choose what hair i feel most comfortable with without it bothering me what stereotype people choose to apply to me.

Liah, what is your haircut and why do you have it

liah · 05-03-2011 2:53pm

sensibleken wrote: »

I have long hair because as a human being i can choose what hair i feel most comfortable with without it bothering me what stereotype people choose to apply to me.

Liah, what is your haircut and why do you have it

I have long, layered hair because it looks good on me and suits my face.

I'm not sure about your tone here but I hope it's not one of offense, my question was genuine when I asked why guys with long hair have long hair. I'm not trying to be insulting, just trying to understand, that's all.

sensibleken · 05-03-2011 4:17pm

liah wrote: »

I have long, layered hair because it looks good on me and suits my face.

I'm not sure about your tone here but I hope it's not one of offense, my question was genuine when I asked why guys with long hair have long hair. I'm not trying to be insulting, just trying to understand, that's all.

sorry about the tone. not insulyed, just a lack of sleep due to two jack russels.

you have long hair because it suits you. thats pretty much the answer for anybody. you may not think long hair suits guys but thats just your taste like a friend of mine likes girls with short hair. it doesnt go into much more philosophical than that

Logical Fallacy · 05-03-2011 4:38pm

liah wrote: »

I have long, layered hair because it looks good on me and suits my face.

I'm not sure about your tone here but I hope it's not one of offense, my question was genuine when I asked why guys with long hair have long hair. I'm not trying to be insulting, just trying to understand, that's all.

I have long hair because i want to have long hair.

End.

SugarHigh · 05-03-2011 4:46pm

liah wrote: »

I have long, layered hair because it looks good on me and suits my face.

I'm not sure about your tone here but I hope it's not one of offense, my question was genuine when I asked why guys with long hair have long hair. I'm not trying to be insulting, just trying to understand, that's all.

Men with long hair obviously think the same. I don't think there are many men saying to themselves "My hair looks like ****...awesome".:D

Galvasean · 05-03-2011 4:58pm

Anything suits you when you are good looking. Therefore I will grow my hair as long or as short as I see fit. I generally let it get long to an extent (the kind of 'long' that isn't that long - the latter stuff in Liah's post), until it starts to get cumbersome. Once it becomes more hassel than it's worth I get a short cut (not a biuzz cut though) and start again.

Tar.Aldarion · 05-03-2011 5:02pm

I have had long hair a good few times, because I couldn't be bothered going to cut it, that's about it. Also it was so soft, so very very soft :pac:

liah · 05-03-2011 5:15pm

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

I have long hair because i want to have long hair.

End.

Chill, I'm just asking why you want to have long hair

God forbid! I'm not trying to imply anything by it, I'm just curious about people's personal reasons for it considering it doesn't seem to suit a large amount of the men who actually wear it that way, that's all.

Otis Driftwood · 05-03-2011 5:18pm

liah wrote: »

Chill, I'm just asking why you want to have long hair God forbid! I'm not trying to imply anything by it, I'm just curious about people's personal reasons for it considering it doesn't seem to suit a large amount of the men who actually wear it that way, that's all.

I think that the big thing is that you personally dont think it suits a large amount of men,doesnt mean it does or doesnt.

My own take on it is that most of the people Ive known throughout my life that have had long hair it didnt really suit them however there have been exceptions.

liah · 05-03-2011 5:33pm

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

I think that the big thing is that you personally dont think it suits a large amount of men,doesnt mean it does or doesnt.

My own take on it is that most of the people Ive known throughout my life that have had long hair it didnt really suit them however there have been exceptions.

Well, maybe it's that to a large degree, but I grew up with a hairdresser/artist of a mother so I like to think I have a generally good idea about facial composition, how to compliment/accent certain features, hide certain features, etc. after learning a lot about it from her over the years. I'm not even necessarily just talking from an attraction standpoint, moreso just a 'visual composition' standpoint; for lack of better explanation I look at hairstyles the way I look at art, and put a lot of it up to framing and composing in a way that suits the individual person and taking anything sexual out of the equation entirely.

I agree it's pretty subjective. But most girls I talk to think long hair just doesn't suit guys, and I think from a purely visual standpoint, as in the entire image of the man, hair included, most of the time that's pretty right.. I think a lot of girls who like long hair like long hair, rather than caring whether it suits the guy, if that makes sense?

I've known two guys who had long hair when I met them and had it cut off since, and the attention they got after the chop was absolutely unreal.

Note: I'm not trying to claim anything as fact here, merely musing about it and rolling it around in my head, certainly not trying to cause offense. Just trying to explore it from different points of view.

SugarHigh · 05-03-2011 5:45pm

liah wrote: »

Chill, I'm just asking why you want to have long hair God forbid! I'm not trying to imply anything by it[/B], I'm just curious about people's personal reasons for it considering it doesn't seem to suit a large amount of the men who actually wear it that way, that's all.

Really? This seemed like you were implying they only do it for attention.:pac:

On a male, it looks, frankly, a bit juvenile in the whole "HEY! HEY LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! I'm stickin' it to the maaaan!" or "HEY! HEY LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! I'm standing out by conforming to a stereotype (metal/emo/whatever)!" sense. Neither of which are particularly attractive traits in an adult male.

liah · 05-03-2011 6:43pm

SugarHigh wrote: »

Really? This seemed like you were implying they only do it for attention.:pac:

Notice how I said 'looks' and not 'are.' I'm just saying how it looks, I've never made judgments about who they actually are as a person til I met them.

But thanks for trying to paint me in a bad light yet again.

Wolfe Tone · 05-03-2011 6:44pm

liah wrote: »

Notice how I said 'looks' and not 'are.' I'm just saying how it looks, I've never made judgments about who they actually are as a person til I met them.

But thanks for trying to paint me in a bad light yet again.

I think you may have inadvertently painted yourself in a bad light liah, I picked up what you are saying in the same way too.

liah · 05-03-2011 6:47pm

Unsurprising, certain people usually do and make a big point out of finding whatever hole they can and twisting it, but I've made it abundantly clear throughout that I'm simply asking for personal reasons out of sheer curiousity, and my posting history should very obviously indicate that I'm not the kind of person who makes judgments and I'm usually the one who just likes finding out why people do things and defends people against judgments.

But fine, read into it what you want, I'm tired of trying to defend myself against people who do whatever they can to try and make me seem bad, it's pointless. I know my intentions are good, you can think whatever you like.

Galvasean · 05-03-2011 6:48pm

Liah, I knew what you meant from talking to you previously and what not. Although TBF from the way it was phrased I can see why people have taken it up a different way

liah · 05-03-2011 6:52pm

Galvasean wrote: »

Liah, I knew what you meant from talking to you previously and what not. Although TBF from the way it was phrased I can see why people have taken it up a different way

I suppose.

Think a lot of my communication problems on here are down to lack of tone in text tbh, when I read it in my tone in my head it sounds completely harmless and since I don't proofread I never think to check what it reads like.

Still, it's particular people I keep running into issues with who seem to just enjoy pissing me off so I don't really know. Think I'm done with boards tbh.

Wolfe Tone · 05-03-2011 6:54pm

I grew long hair because I wanted to see what I would look like with it(stupid) same reason I grew a beard.

Why is long hair on men seen as such a negative thing by a lot of people?

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