Why is long hair on men seen as such a negative thing by a lot of people?

The Waltzing Consumer

dearg lady wrote: »

but why? Genuinely, why is this the case? A woman with long hair isn't seen as unprofessional

I feel bad for the guys who've had to, or felt they had to cut their hair for work. A pet peeve of mine is dress codes, 'professional' attire etc. I'm a firm believer in letting my work stand up for itself, how I dress or wear my hair effects my work in NO WAY! But I know that soemtimes we have to conform to get ahead, I just hope that changes someday

Come on, you are an adult. You dress appropriately to your work environment. If you work on a building site, you ain't wearing a suit, if you work in a bank, you wear a suit, if you work in a band, you wear whatever the hell you want. It is not conforming to get ahead. It is conforming to your work environment. You can be a sexist, a person who is constantly late, a person who curses all the time, a person who drinks at work, a person who takes their pants off when sitting at desk etc., and it might not effect their work in NO WAY, so what does that prove? Not much.

You behave and dress according to the environment of the company.

It just reminds me of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_9hYMVVv_Q

xxshebeexx

My brother has long hair... it would be okay if he actually took care of it, but he seems to think shower gel does grand for washing hair with and hasn't even gotten a trim in more than three years. When he brushes his hair, he yanks the brush from the very top right to the ends, which tears the hair and leaves it a bushy mess. Some of his friends' hair is just as bad. If they're not going to look after it, then just chop it off!! A scraggly mess is never attractive.

dearg lady

The Waltzing Consumer wrote: »

Come on, you are an adult. You dress appropriately to your work environment. If you work on a building site, you ain't wearing a suit, if you work in a bank, you wear a suit, if you work in a band, you wear whatever the hell you want. It is not conforming to get ahead. It is conforming to your work environment. You can be a sexist, a person who is constantly late, a person who curses all the time, a person who drinks at work, a person who takes their pants off when sitting at desk etc., and it might not effect their work in NO WAY, so what does that prove? Not much.

You behave and dress according to the environment of the company.

OK, I see what you're saying about where to draw the line on what effects your work. But as I said, it's a particular gripe of mine.
I work in an environment where I would be expected to wear a suit, but I don't wear a suit. I'm always neat and reasonably smart. I wear a suit to meetings because I have to. This almost certainly reflects poorly on me, and that really irks me.

I don't see how long hair on a man could be considered inappropriate for any work environment.

And on the subject of conforming to your work environment, I again ask why? Why for example, has it become the norm and therefore expected to wear a suit in a bank? It's not like wearing safety gear on a building site which I can understand is expected!

The Waltzing Consumer

dearg lady wrote: »

OK, I see what you're saying about where to draw the line on what effects your work. But as I said, it's a particular gripe of mine.
I work in an environment where I would be expected to wear a suit, but I don't wear a suit. I'm always neat and reasonably smart. I wear a suit to meetings because I have to. This almost certainly reflects poorly on me, and that really irks me.

I don't see how long hair on a man could be considered inappropriate for any work environment.

And on the subject of conforming to your work environment, I again ask why? Why for example, has it become the norm and therefore expected to wear a suit in a bank? It's not like wearing safety gear on a building site which I can understand is expected!

Well, from what you write in the first paragraph, it seems you just don't like suits, but you don't mind dressing smart and neat. It probably does reflect poorly on you, and I would have to ask, why do you put your own feelings about certain clothing above your career and professionalism? If wearing a suit will take this pressure off you and will give a positive reflection of you, why the hell won't you just wear the damn suit?

Long hair on a man is inappropriate for certain environments. If I was looking for a lawyer or doctor or any very important service, I want the person who most suits the "stereotype" of that profession. I don't want some long-haired tracksuit wearing lawyer, bank manager or doctor because it screams unprofessional.

As for the "norm" question you ask, I am not sure how you are confused about uniforms and dress codes, it is pretty basic stuff. If I go to a tattoo parlour, it would be weird if the tattooist looked like a bank manager, if I go to an army barracks, it would be weird to see soldiers looking like hippies or tattooists. The "dress" of certain professions and sections of communities is part of our culture and has existed in civilizations for centuries. These change through time.

Up-n-atom!

I agree that you might have to tone down your usual look for work - especially if you're dealing with the public/particular clients, it really depends on the work itself. I don't see how well-kept hair, either long or short, should interfere with this professional image though! Surely it's possible to have a short haircut that's dreadful and not suitable for work?

Anyhew, came across this today - some of it almost undermines rather than bigs up the long hair thing, but it's gas!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZToM0AN-y5I

dearg lady

The Waltzing Consumer wrote: »

Well, from what you write in the first paragraph, it seems you just don't like suits, but you don't mind dressing smart and neat. It probably does reflect poorly on you, and I would have to ask, why do you put your own feelings about certain clothing above your career and professionalism? If wearing a suit will take this pressure off you and will give a positive reflection of you, why the hell won't you just wear the damn suit?

I don't see why I should have to. As you say below what is the norm changes over time. The norms don't change magically on their owbn, they change because people resist them.

The Waltzing Consumer wrote: »

Long hair on a man is inappropriate for certain environments. If I was looking for a lawyer or doctor or any very important service, I want the person who most suits the "stereotype" of that profession. I don't want some long-haired tracksuit wearing lawyer, bank manager or doctor because it screams unprofessional.

Unprofessional in your opinion, not in mine. In general I dislike stereotypes, most are completely incorrect

The Waltzing Consumer wrote: »

As for the "norm" question you ask, I am not sure how you are confused about uniforms and dress codes, it is pretty basic stuff. If I go to a tattoo parlour, it would be weird if the tattooist looked like a bank manager, if I go to an army barracks, it would be weird to see soldiers looking like hippies or tattooists. The "dress" of certain professions and sections of communities is part of our culture and has existed in civilizations for centuries. These change through time.

Do not patronise me, I am not confused about it, I dislike it, I disagree with it. What I questioned is why it has become the norm for a person in a bank to dress a certain way, when many other professions have much more freedom for individuality.

You're the one putting people into boxes, and labelling them weird if they step out of this. I embrace this so called 'weirdness'

care to speculate on why long hair would be inappropriate for a man in some work environments but not for a woman?

jellyjelters

i have long hair, about shoulder length!!
the only times i've ever had an issue with my hair is when scumbags (usually a gang of them) give me stick about it!! couldnt give less of a **** what peeps think of it, i love having long hair. My girlfriend likes it aswell. It's only hair and like most things in Ireland the few who dont like it make a huge deal about it!!:(

Greenmachine

jellyjelters wrote: »

i have long hair, about shoulder length!!
the only times i've ever had an issue with my hair is when scumbags (usually a gang of them) give me stick about it!! couldnt give less of a **** what peeps think of it, i love having long hair. My girlfriend likes it aswell. It's only hair and like most things in Ireland the few who dont like it make a huge deal about it!!:(

Yeah tell me about it. Pure gang mentality. Lets hop on someone because they have long hair. I just don't understand the mentality of some people.

sensibleken

Ive got looooong dreadlocks reaching just past my ass

Never had any problems with jobs or peoples perceptions in general. usually girls remarking on how much they like them.

the whole thing of you needing to 'smarten up' if youre entering the buisness world or office inviroment is bull. I sit in meetings with CEOs and high value customers very often in my job and it has never been an issue.

sensibleken

Josh_Calvert wrote: »

...there are actually skinheads in combats and bomber trousers wandering around Dublin again.Haven't seen them since the very early 80's.Recession much?

I've noticed that too, wtf? they sound like they have fairly well-to-do accents aswell

The Waltzing Consumer

dearg lady wrote: »

I don't see why I should have to. As you say below what is the norm changes over time. The norms don't change magically on their owbn, they change because people resist them.

Fine. Go change them. Certainly, if I had an employee and if I asked them to perform a work duty or wear the clothes that is required for the job, and they said "I don't see why I should have to", I would think I have some immature child here. You are an adult, deal with it.

dearg lady wrote: »

Unprofessional in your opinion, not in mine. In general I dislike stereotypes, most are completely incorrect.

Okay, fine.

dearg lady wrote: »

Do not patronise me, I am not confused about it, I dislike it, I disagree with it. What I questioned is why it has become the norm for a person in a bank to dress a certain way, when many other professions have much more freedom for individuality.

You're the one putting people into boxes, and labelling them weird if they step out of this. I embrace this so called 'weirdness'

care to speculate on why long hair would be inappropriate for a man in some work environments but not for a woman?

Different work environments have different dress codes. So certain ways of dressing in certain work environments are the "norm". Again, seriously, deal with it, you are an adult.

Care to speculate? Well, I guess it has to do with the culture of certain professions, which have grown over decades and centuries into the codes and conducts of that profession and many times, it is the image of the company, both to employees and customers. When we think of certain professions, we will have a picture in our heads of the people who work there, the clothing is part of that. If companies want to change that, fine, nothing stopping them.

cocoa

The Waltzing Consumer wrote: »

Certainly, if I had an employee and if I asked them to perform a work duty or wear the clothes that is required for the job, and they said "I don't see why I should have to", I would think I have some immature child here. You are an adult, deal with it.

The employer-employee relationship is changing these days and personally, if my boss tells me to do something without justification and refuses to discuss it, I'd say the immaturity lies with them and not me...

I think it's kind of funny talking about preconceptions and stereotypes here, I've seen lots of extremely shoddy work and mistakes from banks and they haven't exactly proving trustworthy at the highest levels despite the fact that they only have to provide a very simple service, so in many ways I'd have a much lower opinion of people in that 'uniform'.

Also, I think it's funny to note the comparison between scumbags shouting things at people with long hair, and anyone else who would make silly judgements based purely on appearance...

The Waltzing Consumer

cocoa wrote: »

The employer-employee relationship is changing these days and personally, if my boss tells me to do something without justification and refuses to discuss it, I'd say the immaturity lies with them and not me...

Well, I am talking about the very first day or two in a new job where you get training and learn about the rules and regulations of the company. In that, there is nearly always mentions of appearance and dress. It will also cover duties. So if your boss in this training tells you of the dress code or your duties, are they being immature? What kind of new employee in this training would be "na, I don't feel like wearing that" "I don't wanna" Sounds like children.

cocoa wrote: »

I think it's kind of funny talking about preconceptions and stereotypes here, I've seen lots of extremely shoddy work and mistakes from banks and they haven't exactly proving trustworthy at the highest levels despite the fact that they only have to provide a very simple service, so in many ways I'd have a much lower opinion of people in that 'uniform'.

Well, this is kind of pointless. In every industry there are good and bad service examples. In this conversation, we are talking about dress not the work being done so no one is saying wearing something makes you work less or more.

cocoa wrote: »

Also, I think it's funny to note the comparison between scumbags shouting things at people with long hair, and anyone else who would make silly judgements based purely on appearance...

Yeah not sure where the scumbag shouting fits in with the current discussion about workplaces.

Everyone makes judgements based purely on appearance and to pretend you don't is pretty false. If you get a solicitor and he arrives in court wearing no clothes, what do you think of this nudity? Oh no, I forgot, you don't make silly judgements based purely on appearances. It is noble that you aim to make less judgements on the fashion of professions and more on the work, but be realistic.

reverenddave

The Waltzing Consumer wrote: »

I think it is a sign of adolescence if a guy has long hair (past the shoulder) and he is mid-twenties and over, so it gets negative attention. To me, it is just like wearing tracksuits as regular clothing for adults, it is a sign of a person who has yet to grow up. There are plenty of longish haircuts, just keep it above the shoulders and there is no problem.

As for the Christian Bale thing, eh, he is an actor, he is paid to look different ways, he is probably growing his hair for a part. Sorry but long hair on guys is too lord of the rings/gamer/spinal tap/fart dad rock cringey! It is not "conforming", it is "maturing". You can't crawl on your hands and knees like a baby, you gotta "conform" and walk. You can't dress like a teen forever, you gotta "conform" and dress like an adult, cause you are an adult.

I really pity you, i genuinely feel so sorry for you,
what ever you've been through it must have been so awful that you feel like this
that you cant feel comfortable enough to jus tdress how you like without being pressured into dressing how you're told
your life must be so hard

I am a friend wrote: »

I have yet to meet a man on whom long hair has been attractive...

Also, it's always fuzzy!!! Women tend to look after their long hair better but mens (I've seen) just looks like it's washed and that's it. Just fuzzy and unkempt looking. It also looks daft when you see a guy in a suit and the hair up in a ponytail... IMHO

you haven't met me then
i have 4 sisters (and a wife and her sister) all of them ''give out'' to me anytime i see them because my hair is pristine compared to theirs and mine is not far from my waist

Stheno wrote: »

I'd a work colleague who also had very long hair, it was blond, and in fantastic condition, he got more comments on his hair than most of the women in the office combined

i get the same but it's mostly ''jealous abuse''

cocoa

The Waltzing Consumer wrote: »

Well, I am talking about the very first day or two in a new job where you get training and learn about the rules and regulations of the company. In that, there is nearly always mentions of appearance and dress. It will also cover duties. So if your boss in this training tells you of the dress code or your duties, are they being immature? What kind of new employee in this training would be "na, I don't feel like wearing that" "I don't wanna" Sounds like children.

You're right, a new employee who conveys themselves in such a childish manner is going to sound like a child. On the other hand, an employee who argues their case, does excellent work and is perfectly willing to do that work for someone else is going to sound far from childish...

and yes, hiding behind regulations without reasons is extremely immature behaviour for a manager.

The Waltzing Consumer wrote: »

Well, this is kind of pointless. In every industry there are good and bad service examples. In this conversation, we are talking about dress not the work being done so no one is saying wearing something makes you work less or more.

so what you wear should only be judged in a positive light if it's the correct uniform? And I wasn't just talking about the examples, I think the whole banking sector is ridiculous and attaches an unnecessary importance to itself, but that's a totally different debate and if you think a suit can do no wrong then that's fine.

The Waltzing Consumer wrote: »

Yeah not sure where the scumbag shouting fits in with the current discussion about workplaces.

Everyone makes judgements based purely on appearance and to pretend you don't is pretty false. If you get a solicitor and he arrives in court wearing no clothes, what do you think of this nudity? Oh no, I forgot, you don't make silly judgements based purely on appearances. It is noble that you aim to make less judgements on the fashion of professions and more on the work, but be realistic.

Looks like apples and oranges or an overly extreme example to me. Everyone agrees the lawyer should wear clothes, therefore they must also agree that the type of clothes should be prescriptive too? The solicitor in your case doesn't fit in with society, not just his profession, and is probably breaking the law (intentional irony?).

I don't think we're going to agree here, but for the sake of the argument, here's my take. There is a minimum level of conformance required for society to operate and most people conforming to this is good, this does not mean all conformance is good and is largely irrelevant to conformance in general.

Standards for professionalism should be generalised and designed to allow freedom of expression outside work. Requiring that someone be neat, clean and well dressed is fine (i.e., hair is clean and tied back if appropriate, whatever the length), with a few exceptions they can still maintain whatever appearance they choose outside work, whereas requiring a certain haircut is crude and annoying, among other things...

The Waltzing Consumer

cocoa wrote: »

I don't think we're going to agree here, but for the sake of the argument, here's my take. There is a minimum level of conformance required for society to operate and most people conforming to this is good, this does not mean all conformance is good and is largely irrelevant to conformance in general.

Standards for professionalism should be generalised and designed to allow freedom of expression outside work. Requiring that someone be neat, clean and well dressed is fine (i.e., hair is clean and tied back if appropriate, whatever the length), with a few exceptions they can still maintain whatever appearance they choose outside work, whereas requiring a certain haircut is crude and annoying, among other things...

Pretty much agree with everything here.

Galvasean

HavingCrack wrote: »

Strangely enough I don't think I've ever met someone who is gay who has long hair . They all seem to have it really short. Make of that what you will :pac:

I know a couple of gay guys who used to have very long hair but got it cut recently. Currently I dont know any gay people with long hair. They all seem to go for the short look these days.

The Waltzing Consumer

reverenddave wrote: »

you haven't met me then
i have 4 sisters (and a wife and her sister) all of them ''give out'' to me anytime i see them because my hair is pristine compared to theirs and mine is not far from my waist

i get the same but it's mostly ''jealous abuse''

Congrats if you are the type of man who enjoys women being envious of your features and enjoys bragging about this. :P Different strokes I guess.

Some men don't like bragging
Some men brag about what they do in gyms
Some men brag about their cars or DIY skills
Some men brag about how much their female relations like their pristine hair and crave this female attention for appearance
:pac:

wee truck big driver

Mod edit: Not acceptable in this forum. first and only warning.

Galvasean

The Waltzing Consumer wrote: »

Some men brag about how much their female relations like their pristine hair and crave this female attention for appearance
:pac:

There's really nothing like it.

I miss having long hair

skelliser

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

It's girly. Nuff said.

oh really!
this lad got more girls then you ever well!!



in fact maybe ye should watch reeling in the years from the 70's abit more, every guy had long hair back then!

btw i have long hair and most of the abuse i get is from lads with receding or thinning hair!!

reverenddave

The Waltzing Consumer wrote: »

Congrats if you are the type of man who enjoys women being envious of your features and enjoys bragging about this. :P Different strokes I guess.

Some men don't like bragging
Some men brag about what they do in gyms
Some men brag about their cars or DIY skills
Some men brag about how much their female relations like their pristine hair and crave this female attention for appearance
:pac:

well seeing as i'm not exactly a johnny pitt or brad depp lookalike

a bit of vanity doesn't hurt

dearg lady

The Waltzing Consumer wrote: »

Fine. Go change them. Certainly, if I had an employee and if I asked them to perform a work duty or wear the clothes that is required for the job, and they said "I don't see why I should have to", I would think I have some immature child here. You are an adult, deal with it.

Well you have absolutely no idea how I would handle it, I wouldn't stamp my feet and throw a strop. I would discuss it like an adult, and I've never had a manager take issue with that!
Now you say what is 'required', again I wonder required why, by whom, it's just become the norm, that is all.

The Waltzing Consumer wrote: »

Different work environments have different dress codes. So certain ways of dressing in certain work environments are the "norm". Again, seriously, deal with it, you are an adult.

You keep goin back to this 'deal with it, you are an adult' nonsense. I am an adult, and that means I stand up for whatever makes me happy, and against what I see as pointless rules. I question what people tell me, don't just say, that's the norm, deal with it, that's a pathetic attitude!

Anyway, am getting well off topic. I brought up the dress code thing as a comparison, but the thing about clothes is it's easy to change after work. If a man feels pressured into cutting his hair for a job, he can't just stick it back it on after work! I think it's incredibly unfair to expect a man to cut his hair for work.

shannon_tek

dearg lady wrote: »

but why? Genuinely, why is this the case? A woman with long hair isn't seen as unprofessional

I feel bad for the guys who've had to, or felt they had to cut their hair for work. A pet peeve of mine is dress codes, 'professional' attire etc. I'm a firm believer in letting my work stand up for itself, how I dress or wear my hair effects my work in NO WAY! But I know that soemtimes we have to conform to get ahead, I just hope that changes someday

Well its seen that women should have long hair. guys should have short. personally i dont understand it. but its the society we grow up in , what you see you learn and most guys have short so to have short hair is the right thing. girls have long so its continued on. IMO i dont think short hair suits girls. like for a guy to have long hair surfer hair length is appropriate i think. but long shoulder length hair i dunno. like a student goes into school with blue Mohawk, Wheres the fire. im just saying its down to what everyone else is like . im sure if every guy had long hair it would be perfect but the majority have short or go bald.

dearg lady

shannon_tek wrote: »

Well its seen that women should have long hair. guys should have short. personally i dont understand it. but its the society we grow up in , what you see you learn and most guys have short so to have short hair is the right thing. girls have long so its continued on. IMO i dont think short hair suits girls. like for a guy to have long hair surfer hair length is appropriate i think. but long shoulder length hair i dunno. like a student goes into school with blue Mohawk, Wheres the fire. im just saying its down to what everyone else is like . im sure if every guy had long hair it would be perfect but the majority have short or go bald.

aww, I had short hair and everyone said it suited me!
nah, I mean obviously everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I'd just not like to see a man treated differently, or made fun of etc purely for having long hair.

shannon_tek

dearg lady wrote: »

aww, I had short hair and everyone said it suited me!
nah, I mean obviously everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I'd just not like to see a man treated differently, or made fun of etc purely for having long hair.

oh yea dont get me wrong , short hair suits some girls and most can pull it off others cant.. oh i would never make fun of guy for having long hair. its their head at the end of the day

1daydreamer

Some men look very hot with long hair (Skeptical? Take a look at romance novel covers sometime). Others don't. TBH you have to be able to rock the look. Personally, I like hair that is long enough that you really want to touch it and run your fingers through it and that includes a variety of lengths and styles. It's not very appealing to me when men are sheared like sheep, because that takes part of the fun away. I don't know anyone who likes it when someone's hygiene is poor, and it is not a look for someone whose hair is too thin or is receding.

The Lovely Muffin

IMO, there's nothing wrong with long hair on men.

On some men, it can be sexy and on other men, it may not be as sexy. I'd never abuse/insult a man simply because of his hair.

That said, on most men, I prefer short hair, but wouldn't object to a (future) boyfriend growing his hair long. So long as he's happy, I'm happy.

Nevyn

Lusicious long hair on guys ftw, it's damn sexy.

magneticimpulse

Really really really dont like any sort of long hair on guys. The shortest military cut possible I think is the best.

If I was allowed to cut mens hair i would. Ive 2 male friends and 1 definitely looks very crusty with his long shaggy greasy untidy hair. The other one doesnt look as crusty, but he would actually look quite hot i think if he cut his hair. Shame he doesnt know that as he is always chatting to me in a sort of flirty way and little does he know i just want to shave all that hair off....

Finally my brother has started to get short hair cuts. He had a ridculous floppy scrappy fridge til recently...could have sworn he used my hair straighters sometimes (thats just wrong).

Even Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise look dreadful with long hair...short all the way