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Boards.ie guide to stereotyping cars

Stevie Dakota · 2011-01-24 21:08:30

If you are new here this is all you need to know... BMW - The won't go forward in the snow and the cooling system is made of putty. Skoda - Ugly, dull things with enormous boots. Adored by those that value gadgets and big behinds over all else. Toyota - Kill me now styling but reliable in between recalls, and they change…

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24-01-2011 10:08pm

#1

Stevie Dakota

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If you are new here this is all you need to know...

BMW - The won't go forward in the snow and the cooling system is made of putty.

Skoda - Ugly, dull things with enormous boots. Adored by those that value gadgets and big behinds over all else.

Toyota - Kill me now styling but reliable in between recalls, and they change your engine without telling you when servicing it.

VW - All rubbish, VW haven't made a good car since the Beetle, and that was crap.

Renault - Electrical mayhem and every model is partially convertible thanks to failing window regulators. Reliable since 1/1/08.

Mercedes - Over rated rust buckets, good once more but that is boring to talk about.

Hyundai - For those who don't like the idea of a 7 year warranty.

Nissan - Tiida at one end, Juke at the other, we're confused so Honda is better, just not their troublesome diesels, and who buys petrol anymore, so they are irrelevant too.

Audi - Expensive VW's, the Germans do have a sense of humor, see if you can tell an A1 from and A8.

Ford - Annoyingly competent, Mondeo can be seen from space.

Every diesel car will cost you €1,000's in a few years, clogged DPF's, failing DMF's, blown turbos and dodgy EGR valves. But you may save a few euro a year on car tax so well worth the risk.

Etc.

79

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#2 24-01-2011 10:12pm
dave45dave

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And you drive

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#3 24-01-2011 10:12pm
Owen

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Stevie Dakota wrote: »

Toyota - ... they change your engine without telling you when servicing it.

PMSL - I'd forgotten about that thread!

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#4 24-01-2011 10:13pm
Gumbo

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Drove my auto E46 everyday throughout the snow spell. Had to drive to and from work everyday and had no issues, some people just can't adoPt their driving style to the surrounding conditions.

Standard OEM 16" wheels with standard all year round tyres.

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#5 24-01-2011 10:16pm
Monty Burnz

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The OP may be speaking tongue-in-cheek. :pac::pac::pac:

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#6 24-01-2011 10:17pm
pajero12

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Stevie Dakota wrote: »

Toyota - Kill me now styling but reliable in between recalls, and they change your engine without telling you when servicing it.

Link anyone?

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#7 24-01-2011 10:18pm
Plug

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PaintDoctor wrote: »

PMSL - I'd forgotten about that thread!

Ya hardly have a link to that? That should be good!

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#8 24-01-2011 10:18pm
JerCotter7

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PaintDoctor wrote: »

PMSL - I'd forgotten about that thread!

Do you have a link to it?

Also BMW cooling systems are bad in certain models. Not sure about the newest range.

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#9 24-01-2011 10:30pm
Stheno

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Gentlemens,

The search engine is your friend

engine replaced without telling me

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#10 24-01-2011 10:31pm
JerCotter7

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Stheno wrote: »

Gentlemens,

The search engine is your friend

engine replaced without telling me

I was searching using the wrong terms. Got results about a diesel service for a Toyota corolla.

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#11 24-01-2011 10:32pm
BrianD3

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To anyone thinking of buying a Nissan Micra, Renault Clio or any small car. You idiot. What you actually need is a 20 year old 7 series with a V12 engine. A Jag V12 or Merc V12 would also do.

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#12 24-01-2011 10:34pm
Alanstrainor

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BrianD3 wrote: »

To anyone thinking of buying a Nissan Micra, Renault Clio or any small car. You idiot. What you actually need is a 20 year old 7 series with a V12 engine. A Jag V12 or Merc V12 would also do.

There's no replacement for displacement!

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#13 24-01-2011 10:34pm
Owen

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Methinks people aren't seeing the humour in the first post.

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#14 24-01-2011 10:36pm
Eric Cartman

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VAG 1.9TDi - Only road legal rocket engine ever
Fiat 500 - Never De-Values
Carina - Should be exempt from all taxi age laws

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#15 24-01-2011 10:39pm
Owen

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MINI - you'd want to be an almighty hairdressing packer of fudge to own one.
Rover 75 - If you own one, you might aswell be wearing nappies cause must be so old.

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#16 24-01-2011 10:39pm
Stheno

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PaintDoctor wrote: »

Methinks people aren't seeing the humour in the first post.

I'm disappointed tbh, he missed out on the opportunity to tell us how Citroens are horrically unreliable , not to mention how utterly rubbish Italian cars are too Not to mention Rovers

Pah: PaintDoctor got in there with the Rovers, and the Mini's which I'd completely forgotten about

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#17 24-01-2011 10:49pm
squod

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LIGHTNING wrote: »

So take a boggo 1.4 Focus and go back through the equivalent ford back to the 60`s see what the numbers are like.

The aul escort fairly flew.

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#18 24-01-2011 10:53pm
Stevie Dakota

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Stheno wrote: »

he missed out on the opportunity to tell us how Citroens are horrically unreliable , not to mention how utterly rubbish Italian cars are too

No no, Citroens and Fiats are now bombproof, it says so here...

http://www.reliabilityindex.com/top-100

:pac::pac:

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#19 24-01-2011 10:58pm
Stevie Dakota

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dave45dave wrote: »

And you drive

Is that statement or a question?

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#20 24-01-2011 11:01pm
Hellrazer

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Stevie Dakota wrote: »

Hyundai - For those who don't like the idea of a 7 year warranty.

Which regular here said the Sonata was the "Beige trousers" of the car industry??

S**t---Did I mention I just bought an Elantra 1.6 (in a beige-y gold-y colour)

:D

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#21 24-01-2011 11:01pm
unkel

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Lexus are so well built they will go forever

Stevie Dakota wrote: »

http://www.reliabilityindex.com/top-100

Oh wait, what's the least reliable car in the list :eek:

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#22 24-01-2011 11:03pm
messymess

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OP you forgot Hondas and Volvos

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#23 24-01-2011 11:07pm
Hellrazer

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messymess wrote: »

OP you forgot Hondas and Volvos

Volvo-Its a Ford with another name

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#24 24-01-2011 11:13pm
.Longshanks.

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PaintDoctor wrote: »

MINI - you'd want to be an almighty hairdressing packer of fudge to own one.
Rover 75 - If you own one, you might aswell be wearing nappies cause must be so old.

Touched a nerve? :D

Ssangyong - a fool and his money is easy parted....no wait

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#25 24-01-2011 11:14pm
bladespin

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Skyline - even dealers have to advertise these days

Range Rover - member of NAMA

Subaru Imprezza/Mistubishi Evo - please, please, please look at me....

Alfa Romeo - fast apprentice mechanic

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#26 24-01-2011 11:34pm
langdang

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ALL Mazda 6 2.0 Diesels WILL eat themselves.
All Mazdas are lacking in soft touch plastics dashes, and are therefore only for people who are oblivious to the social consequences of driving a non German car
Behind every stereotype there's a grain of truth...

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#27 24-01-2011 11:39pm
Max_Damage

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Rover - Two words: HEAD GASKET

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#28 24-01-2011 11:40pm
Max_Damage

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langdang wrote: »

ALL Mazda 6 2.0 Diesels WILL eat themselves.
All Mazdas are lacking in soft touch plastics dashes, and are therefore only for people who are oblivious to the social consequences of driving a non German car
Behind every stereotype there's a grain of truth...

The 626 diesel will also eat itself. My mother's one is on it's last legs.

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#29 24-01-2011 11:44pm
stevenmu

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Skoda Octavia - A suitable alternative to superminis, MPVs, SUVs, 2-seater convertibles, HGVs, small yachts, other mid-sized saloons.

(someone had to do it)

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#30 24-01-2011 11:45pm
langdang

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Max_Damage wrote: »

Rover - Two words: HEAD GASKET

How did everyone miss this until now????

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#31 24-01-2011 11:50pm
VolvoMan

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Hellrazer wrote: »

Volvo-Its a Ford with another name

Volvo:

A manufacturer who have never made their own engines, but instead used Ford's and Renault's. They have never ever made an interesting or good looking car and Roger Moore never drove a P1800 in 'The Saint'.

Why spend 30k+ on one when you can be like everyone else and have a 520d?

You must surely be mad considering spending 30k on a Volvo in the first place, as they are like in the same brand category as Hyundai and Kia.

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