Do ye give signals to men?

Deedsie · 13-01-2011 12:05pm #1

Hi,

Just wondering if women give men signals that they might be interested in them? I mean before ever speaking to him? Just when you see a guy?

Maple · 13-01-2011 12:36pm

Yes, I find that semaphore works very well.

Kimia · 13-01-2011 1:15pm

Deedsie wrote: »

Hi,

Just wondering if women give men signals that they might be interested in them? I mean before ever speaking to him? Just when you see a guy?

We're not these mysterious creatures who have a set way of behaving when we see a guy we like. Stop worrying about if she likes you. Do you like her? If so, ask her out. You'll find out soon enough what she thinks then, and even if she says no, she'll respect you for having the balls to ask.

13-01-2011 2:24pm

For any women who do give signals - don't. Men aren't mindreaders and a lot of times these signals become misinterpreted, which leads to a lot of needless arguments or anger. If you like a guy, tell him.

Please.

Princess Peach · 13-01-2011 2:53pm

I never give any kind of signals that I know of! I'm way too shy :P

Maybe a little when I'm drunk though

--Kaiser-- · 13-01-2011 5:07pm

I'd say nearly all women give signals, either consciously or unconsciously

starlit · 13-01-2011 8:50pm

Ya say so. Subconsciously sometimes and other times I'd say on purpose like come hither looks, a wink, a smile, flashing the eyelashes trying to get a guy to notice us. Then again being natural and being oneself and presenting oneself as friendly without saying anything based on first impressions is another way of giving off subtle signals without putting pressure on them. There would obviously be non-verbal language/singals we give off to men without either party being aware of it! One might notice it more than the other either consciously or subconsciously.

For me I try to give off a friendly vibe. Smile, be friendly and be coy. My dance moves can give off some kind of signal to guys when I'm out usually if I am happy go lucky they will approach me if they pick up on my signals. To be honest these things are often not visible to the naked eye, a split second and you might miss it!

Silverfish · 13-01-2011 8:58pm

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

I'd say nearly all women give signals, either consciously or unconsciously

I agree - psychologically we more than likely will behave differently around someone we like 'in that way' - we may think they're funnier so laugh more, possibly play with our hair (nervy!) or other signs.

Alternatively, it can happen that you don't want this person to know you like them, and you know you're in danger of doing the subconscious signs of attraction, so you're meaner to them to overcompensate.

It's complicated, I tells ya.

13-01-2011 9:10pm

Silverfish wrote: »

I agree - psychologically we more than likely will behave differently around someone we like 'in that way' - we may think they're funnier so laugh more, possibly play with our hair (nervy!) or other signs.

Alternatively, it can happen that you don't want this person to know you like them, and you know you're in danger of doing the subconscious signs of attraction, so you're meaner to them to overcompensate.

It's complicated, I tells ya.

Feckin' women, eh?

Silverfish · 13-01-2011 9:11pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Feckin' women, eh?

Should have pointed out, a lot of men do the same.

Panthro · 13-01-2011 9:13pm

Deleted User wrote: »

For any women who do give signals - don't. Men aren't mindreaders and a lot of times these signals become misinterpreted, which leads to a lot of needless arguments or anger. If you like a guy, tell him.

Please.

I have the same opinion, but its mainly because I am theeeeeck when it comes to picking up on a signal! Honestly, a girl might aswell be wearing a massive sign saying "I'm interested" and I'd more than likely still manage to miss it!:o

13-01-2011 9:13pm

Silverfish wrote: »

Should have pointed out, a lot of men do the same.

Feckin' men, eh?

Silverfish · 13-01-2011 9:21pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Feckin' men, eh?

Ah no, they're a great bunch of lads.

Deedsie · 13-01-2011 9:21pm

Well the reason I ask is, once I get talking to a lady, I'm fine. I just still can't go up to talk to someone I instantly find attractive. It's very annoying, fear of rejection, fear of making a show of myself. I know I phrased it strangely in the OP, signals etc. Just frustrated with myself more than the women of Ireland. Thanks for the helpful, encouraging replies. Maybe I'll grow a pair of balls...

13-01-2011 9:23pm

Silverfish wrote: »

Ah no, they're a great bunch of lads.

Feckin' .. er .. you .., eh?

mud · 13-01-2011 9:54pm

Yes, I definitely give off signals to men that I fancy. 9 times out of 10 they are just not noticed!

I usually have a big stupid grin on my features and cause a hurricane with the fluttering eye-lashes but to no avail.

It was easier when we were in the caves. Give the guy a rap on the head with a club and drag him off to make babies

The Muppet · 13-01-2011 10:02pm

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

I'd say nearly all women give signals, either consciously or unconsciously

So that's how you get a date.:D

Perhaps you mean sub consciously.;)

Silverfish · 13-01-2011 10:06pm

Deedsie wrote: »

Well the reason I ask is, once I get talking to a lady, I'm fine. I just still can't go up to talk to someone I instantly find attractive. It's very annoying, fear of rejection, fear of making a show of myself. I know I phrased it strangely in the OP, signals etc. Just frustrated with myself more than the women of Ireland. Thanks for the helpful, encouraging replies. Maybe I'll grow a pair of balls...

It's unbelievably hard to do. The first few times

The trick to it is the same as anything else, practice.

I remember years and years ago, there was a guy I liked. He was shy so I knew it was up to me, but I was so so nervous about approaching him.
One day it was D-Day, now or never kind of thing, so I mustered all my courage, walked up to him, said maybe 2 words before throwing up on his shoes.
So ever since then, I just think if I haven't thrown up on them, it's a huge success.

It's not even about achieving end game or whatever, its about the steps to get there , and getting the confidence together - which comes with practice

highlydebased · 13-01-2011 10:07pm

Please dont give signals....just tell us you like us outright.

Giselle · 13-01-2011 10:29pm

If being caught staring and blushing is a signal, then yes.

The only signals I consciously give are the ones you need indicators and flashing lights for.

Deedsie · 13-01-2011 10:30pm

Neon-Circles wrote: »

Please dont give signals....just tell us you like us outright.

You can't mean that? Pub/nightclub situation, guy see's a girl he finds attractive. Hi, I'm such and such, how are you? I like the look of you, do you wanna hang your washing next to mine?

Silverfish wrote: »

It's unbelievably hard to do. The first few times

The trick to it is the same as anything else, practice.

I remember years and years ago, there was a guy I liked. He was shy so I knew it was up to me, but I was so so nervous about approaching him.
One day it was D-Day, now or never kind of thing, so I mustered all my courage, walked up to him, said maybe 2 words before throwing up on his shoes.
So ever since then, I just think if I haven't thrown up on them, it's a huge success.

It's not even about achieving end game or whatever, its about the steps to get there , and getting the confidence together - which comes with practice

Gonna give it a go at the weekend so. Reckon i'm gonna make an ape out of myself. Thanks for the encouraging words.

ballsymchugh · 13-01-2011 10:37pm

maple wrote: »

Yes, I find that semaphore works very well.

so that's you on the bed??!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TL3HhAiISgY

--Kaiser-- · 14-01-2011 9:03am

The Muppet wrote: »

So that's how you get a date.:D

Perhaps you mean sub consciously.;)

You know what I mean. I think the words are somewhat synonymous, Freud used one and Jung used the other.

Chuchoter · 14-01-2011 5:48pm

Generally I lose the ability to say anything intelligent and just laugh like an idiot at all their jokes, because I'm cool and good with girls like that:rolleyes:

PK2008 · 14-01-2011 8:31pm

Silverfish wrote: »

Alternatively, it can happen that you don't want this person to know you like them, and you know you're in danger of doing the subconscious signs of attraction, so you're meaner to them to overcompensate.

This happens to me all the time

Lucyx · 14-01-2011 10:56pm

This thread is so interesting to me at this point in time.

I have an enormous crush on a guy in work and I've given him every sign and given him all the looks but still nothing. He stares back at me big time so hes attracted to me too but still nothing. It drives me mad with frustration cos theres only so much I can do without looking like a moron in fairness

14-01-2011 11:05pm

Lucyx wrote: »

This thread is so interesting to me at this point in time.

I have an enormous crush on a guy in work and I've given him every sign and given him all the looks but still nothing. He stares back at me big time so hes attracted to me too but still nothing. It drives me mad with frustration cos theres only so much I can do without looking like a moron in fairness

So ask him out

otherwise he'll think you've lost your contact lenses

cdaly_ · 14-01-2011 11:06pm

So ask him out and see what happens...

kerryman12 · 14-01-2011 11:18pm

Lucyx wrote: »

This thread is so interesting to me at this point in time.

I have an enormous crush on a guy in work and I've given him every sign and given him all the looks but still nothing. He stares back at me big time so hes attracted to me too but still nothing. It drives me mad with frustration cos theres only so much I can do without looking like a moron in fairness

If this guy is anything like me when it comes to this he is inept. I would always figure out WTF the chick was on about two hours later! Unless you hit me over the head I wouldn't get it - come to think of it now, this explains why college was such a barren patch.

Anyway save yourself some time and just ask!

--LOS-- · 16-01-2011 1:01am

lol at guys not having a clue if someone likes them or not, reminds me of this...

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ci4px/male_redditors_what_are_some_hints_females_gave/

actively giving signals and waiting for a response is just weird, I would hope that no girl ever does that.

wiger toods · 16-01-2011 1:36am

Theres a gorgeous girl i know who whenever we bump into each other, she always gives me the biggest smile everytime. Also to my delight, ive caught her checking me out a few times, and i dont think its all in my head either as a few of the lads have said the same thing. Still though, God knows i wouldnt have the balls to make the first move. Firstly, im a bastard for reading these 'signals' wrong and secondly the lads would rip the ****e outa me for endless years to come, im talking when we're all old, fat, bald, and taking fifty types of medication to just stay alive. They'd still be 'Hey remember that one who said no, Ha Ha Ha, you gob****e'!!!:D

dr ro · 16-01-2011 2:04am

sounds like your mates are idiots. Don't let them hold you back.

wiger toods · 16-01-2011 2:07am

dr ro wrote: »

sounds like your mates are idiots. Don't let them hold you back.

Na! there not as bad as ive painted them. there a good bunch of lads!

annapolska · 16-01-2011 3:03am

wiger toods wrote: »

Theres a gorgeous girl i know who whenever we bump into each other, she always gives me the biggest smile everytime. Also to my delight, ive caught her checking me out a few times, and i dont think its all in my head either as a few of the lads have said the same thing. Still though, God knows i wouldnt have the balls to make the first move. Firstly, im a bastard for reading these 'signals' wrong and secondly the lads would rip the ****e outa me for endless years to come, im talking when we're all old, fat, bald, and taking fifty types of medication to just stay alive. They'd still be 'Hey remember that one who said no, Ha Ha Ha, you gob****e'!!!:D

OR she might say yes. :pac:

--LOS-- · 16-01-2011 3:05am

wiger toods wrote: »

Theres a gorgeous girl i know who whenever we bump into each other, she always gives me the biggest smile everytime. Also to my delight, ive caught her checking me out a few times, and i dont think its all in my head either as a few of the lads have said the same thing. Still though, God knows i wouldnt have the balls to make the first move. Firstly, im a bastard for reading these 'signals' wrong and secondly the lads would rip the ****e outa me for endless years to come, im talking when we're all old, fat, bald, and taking fifty types of medication to just stay alive. They'd still be 'Hey remember that one who said no, Ha Ha Ha, you gob****e'!!!:D

aww the girl could be dying for you to make a move, even if you don't at least try and find a way to have more contact with her and see if she's more responsive. Sounds like she does like you if others can see it as well as you.

Darlughda · 16-01-2011 5:24am

Oh god. I am the worst. Its like I am permanently 14 years of age if I meet a man that I am hugely attracted to. I can barely look him in the eye, and then I have to avert my gaze, and I go really really red.

So embarrassing.

16-01-2011 9:54am

Darlughda wrote: »

Oh god. I am the worst. Its like I am permanently 14 years of age if I meet a man that I am hugely attracted to. I can barely look him in the eye, and then I have to avert my gaze, and I go really really red.

So embarrassing.

I'd like that kind of thing and think it's really sweet.

Blush_01 · 16-01-2011 1:18pm

IMHO, anyone who would hold the fact that you find them attractive against you isn't worth associating with. Sure, there might be a bit of awkwardness if you confess undying love and they think that you're a squinty hobbit whose sense of humour leaves a lot to be desired, but at the end of the day if someone tells you they find you attractive it's a compliment.

The issue is that it's up to the person you tell to handle it appropriately, which can be difficult, especially if they want to let you down easily, but at the same time nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Still doesn't mean I'll be admitting anything to my current crush for the moment - I have no indication that he's interested, and I don't see the point in risking anything until I have some inkling that can't just be attributed to my own overthinking things that there might be some potential for reciprocation.

homerun_homer · 17-01-2011 1:59pm

I heard the funniest thing in passing a mother and child yesterday in Spitalfields in London. As they walked by she told her daughter "Never let a boy know you like him".

No wonder us boys are dopes when it comes to figuring out if girls give signals or not. They are being trained from a young age to mess with us:pac:

Lucyx · 17-01-2011 8:23pm

--LOS-- wrote: »

actively giving signals and waiting for a response is just weird, I would hope that no girl ever does that.

oh jesus I do this everyday. is it that weird??

FYI Current status....still trying to pluck up the courage

Scarinae · 18-01-2011 8:58pm

--LOS-- wrote: »

actively giving signals and waiting for a response is just weird, I would hope that no girl ever does that.

Ah it's more that they're trying to be encouraging! Traditionally it would be men who would make the first move, and though times have changed it is still difficult for some women to initiate things as they don't want to seem too forward/slutty etc. There is also a school of thought (eg The Rules :rolleyes:) that says women should never make the first move, as it lets men retain their dignity... Ffs

John400 · 28-01-2011 8:54pm

Lucyx wrote: »

This thread is so interesting to me at this point in time.

I have an enormous crush on a guy in work and I've given him every sign and given him all the looks but still nothing. He stares back at me big time so hes attracted to me too but still nothing. It drives me mad with frustration cos theres only so much I can do without looking like a moron in fairness

I'm convinced there's a girl at work who has a crush on me (genuinely).

I was attending a recent work function and got talking to her at the bar, she kind of moved closer to me while talking (and i mean close), wasn't expecting it.

I think the feeling is mutal as i do like her, i gave her a big hug at the end of the night. I think i've a crush on her!

Either i'm completely mis-interpreting things like a gob****e! or she does have an interest in me?

I'm assuming a girl moving close to me to talk is generally a positive?

Aishae · 28-01-2011 11:33pm

im also the permanent 14 yr old around people i like - and also terminally dreadful at reading or misreading signals. im contemplating living in alaska with the eskimo's and the polar bears....lol

dceire · 29-01-2011 8:37pm

I don't wish to crash this thread but I didn't want to start another one and it is somewhat related to the OP.

When I was younger I was reasonably shy, in particular around women. Since going to college, working etc I've done a lot of growing up and am quite confident in my own skin these days. I'm no ladies man by any stretch of the imagination but I'm much better off than I was.

Anyway, I was out on the town with a few friends last night. Myself and a girl friend of mine got talking to two girls towards the end of the night. Straight away I quite fancied one of them and had a good laugh with her until the bouncer start clearing the place. My mate headed off earlier and it was just myself and the girl when the bouncers came around. Here's where the story links into the OP. She was grabbing my hand during points in our conversation to direct my attention to certain things and, as I said, were having a good laugh. So, as it was the end of the night, I asked her for her number. She didn't really respond apart from saying 'I'm in here all the time' and proceeded to leave. I had to fetch the jackets and didn't see sight nor sound of her after that. When I told my girl friend outside, she couldn't believe it. In her own words 'I thought you were well in there'

Seriously, WTF was that all about?

Aishae · 29-01-2011 8:59pm

dceire - the only thing i can think of is she got carried away with herself having a good time and didnt realise she was sending such signals or maybe she didnt think you were interested so wasnt worried (if its the latter maybe shes not exactly available and thought she was just having 'fun') im not saying i agree with it if thats the case - cos thats a horrible way to lead someone on and not even say 'oh yeah i didnt mean to lead you on/ i wasnt thinking like that' or whatever, she took the easy way of running off

BumbleB · 29-01-2011 11:20pm

Girls are all different in their responses depending on their confidence levels ,some will come up directly to you and start talking others will just make eye contact etc.

But as a rule ,the more attractive a girl is the less obvious her advances will appear ,really drop dead girls give micro signals , If you are from the city and you have ever been to a mart to buy cattle ,you know what I'm talking about.

But thats not always the case ,for example I was out 4 weeks ago and an extremely good looking tall blonde girl and her friends were behind me and she kept bumping off me so i had to engage her.:)

If you just turn on billie jean ,learn all the dance moves off it ,you'll never ever have to bother about decoding girls signals ever again , thats what I did !.:cool:

seafood dunleavy · 30-01-2011 4:31am

i apparently gave my friend a look(girl) to get with my other friend(lad).had no idea i gave her a look and im a lad

John400 · 30-01-2011 7:45pm

John400 wrote: »

I'm convinced there's a girl at work who has a crush on me (genuinely).

I was attending a recent work function and got talking to her at the bar, she kind of moved closer to me while talking (and i mean close), wasn't expecting it.

I think the feeling is mutal as i do like her, i gave her a big hug at the end of the night. I think i've a crush on her!

Either i'm completely mis-interpreting things like a gob****e! or she does have an interest in me?

I'm assuming a girl moving close to me to talk is generally a positive?

Looking for female opinions on my previous post^

I'm pretty useless when it comes to decoding signals from the opposite sex, as i said i'm assuming this girl from work standing close to me at the bar was a definite signal of at least some interest from her in me?

Wibbs · 30-01-2011 7:56pm

John400 the forum isn't a place for guys looking for women's opinion, particularly about dating stuff. A general convo on the subject fine, but otherwise the thread will either be closed or moved to PI. Thanks.

solerina · 30-01-2011 9:41pm

dceire wrote: »

I don't wish to crash this thread but I didn't want to start another one and it is somewhat related to the OP.

When I was younger I was reasonably shy, in particular around women. Since going to college, working etc I've done a lot of growing up and am quite confident in my own skin these days. I'm no ladies man by any stretch of the imagination but I'm much better off than I was.

Anyway, I was out on the town with a few friends last night. Myself and a girl friend of mine got talking to two girls towards the end of the night. Straight away I quite fancied one of them and had a good laugh with her until the bouncer start clearing the place. My mate headed off earlier and it was just myself and the girl when the bouncers came around. Here's where the story links into the OP. She was grabbing my hand during points in our conversation to direct my attention to certain things and, as I said, were having a good laugh. So, as it was the end of the night, I asked her for her number. She didn't really respond apart from saying 'I'm in here all the time' and proceeded to leave. I had to fetch the jackets and didn't see sight nor sound of her after that. When I told my girl friend outside, she couldn't believe it. In her own words 'I thought you were well in there'

Seriously, WTF was that all about?

DCEIRE
I think she is interested, mainly because I have done the same thing a number of times...If she was catching ur hand, shes interested..no doubt about it imo....When I have done that whole...I wont give you my numer but Im here regularly I am thinking....I do want to see him again but I dont want to be waiting wondering will he ring/text....and I am hoping that he will show up in that bar/club again soon to see me and take things further !!

dceire · 31-01-2011 12:08am

solerina wrote: »

DCEIRE
I think she is interested, mainly because I have done the same thing a number of times...If she was catching ur hand, shes interested..no doubt about it imo....When I have done that whole...I wont give you my numer but Im here regularly I am thinking....I do want to see him again but I dont want to be waiting wondering will he ring/text....and I am hoping that he will show up in that bar/club again soon to see me and take things further !!

You're all cracked. I've heard some crackpot theories from girl friends of mine but this one is right up there. I'm not suggesting that what you say is untrue but just needlessly complicating things.

Has this methodology ever worked for you? I was on a night out with old college mates and am rarely out in Dublin which obviously isn't factored into the theory.

Do ye give signals to men?

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