Depression

Dudess · 28-12-2010 10:03PM

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

I see the dicks have arrived.

Some things you really could just set your watch to.

bluecatmorgana · 28-12-2010 10:15PM

opinion guy wrote: »

Ok I want to say something here.
I won't go into my own history, but suffice it to say I can identify with what people are saying in this thread. But I want to contribute something if I may.

I've seen a few people saying - 'if you are depressed just talk, talk to anyone.'

Bitter experience has taught me otherwise. I think its fundamentally important that if you choose to talk to someone it has to be someone who knows how to listen, listening being the most underrated quality of course. Whoever you choose to talk to, be it a friend, a relative, a counsellor, a psychistrist, psychologist or The Samaritans, you need to suss out first and on an ongoing basis - are they REALLY listening to me. By 'listening' I mean accepting what you are telling them without rejection or without reaction even. And very importantly without projecting their own interpretations or issues on to you. I also think that rarely do they need to interfere. If someone is really listening and accepting your story they should not be pointing out where you are logically wrong all the time, or what x or y means, or telling you to get over it or pull yourself together - they should be letting you figure your own way through it.

To be able to tell who is a good listener is not easy to learn. And frankly sometimes I wonder if being good at this is why some people don't get depressed despite horrible circumstances.

Anyhow - its difficult to explain all this properly. Personally I think that depression often (but not always) represents poorly understood negative emotions and the 'cycle of depression' is the mind trying to understand it so it can let things go. My experience is that talking to a bad listener often makes things worse and perpetuates cycles of despair. Sometimes talking to a good listener can make the WORLD of difference.

I agree with what you say about listening Opinion Guy, a good listener can make all the difference but what I prefer is an active listener, someone who can support me and direct me to my next step or action, someone who I can bounce ideas off and see what I should do. Ive often had a good listener in the form of a psychocologist or therapist but thats about it, they sit there and listen and thats it. I needed someone to converse with me. Well at least thats what Ive learned from my own experience.

Odysseus · 28-12-2010 10:25PM

Dionysus wrote: »

How about being informed by your GP that before a psychologist can see you, a psychiatrist has to assess you and that this meeting, and treatment, will have to be disclosed to future employers and health insurance companies?

Not if you go private. Though some people cannot afford that.

bluecatmorgana · 28-12-2010 10:26PM

stupidusername wrote: »

It annoys me to see these adverts about your mental health etc and saying talk to someone bla bla bla, because it's like a pathetic attempt at the HSE trying to say they're dealing with depression and mental illnesses , when really they do nothing.

I've been diagnosed as having depression. I'm unsure if I do or not, but I know there's something wrong with the way I deal with everything. I think it's just the way I am though. I think it's because of the way I was brought up and the family that I have. I'm on meds since May of last year and am unsure as to whether or not there's been any difference in me since then. I'm in the middle of coming off them, so I guess in a while I'll see if they did anything.

When I get down, when everything gets on top of me and I cannot see solutions to things I think of suicide. and that's wrong. I think about it way too often. Sometimes I come closer to it then other times. and my attitude towards it scares me sometimes. It's not that I want to die, it's that I've never been happy, I don't know how to make things better for myself. and I have no one to help. Only recently because I had to, I told my father I'm on anti depressants, and my sister also knows, but no one has spoken to me about it. I'm in a fairly bad situation at the moment, but not for a second would I consider talking to my family about it because they don't care. Ya if I actually tried to kill myself they'd be shocked and might send me for help then, but unless it got to that point, no one gives a shit. It's laughable to think of going to one of them and saying 'i'm feeling a bit low' or 'i need to talk'.

My best friend is probably the only reason I'm still alive. He's the one person I can talk to. but even when it comes to talking to him about just how bad I'm feeling I've to watch what I say because he can't deal with it well. As somebody else said, not many people know how to listen. I don't talk about this to get attention, I just need somebody to listen and to care, without me having to worry about freaking them out, or what they're going to think of me, if they think I'm just seeking attention.

I will never phone the samaritans as I think they're a useless bunch. I don't like speaking on the phone, so I emailed them a couple of times before but it's not someone listening, being understanding or anything like that. well in my experience it wasn't. it was cold, and machine like even. but then I suppose what can you expect from a stranger. Everyone says if you're feeling this way, talk to someone, but talk to who exactly? That's my problem, there is nobody. I've seen two different counsellors and while the second one helped me see why I feel a certain way about things, she never helped me deal with things better. I'm currently on my fourth anti depressant. And I can't afford to go to another counsellor. So what do I do? It's easy to say talk to someone but what if the person you're saying it to doesn't have anyone? GPs aren't sympathetic, they're clinical, and they'll put you on meds and give you a phone number for a counsellor. That's not help.

Hey there, I was researching this for a friend and thought it might be interesting for you. Its run by mental health Ireland http://www.mentalhealthireland.ie/projects-a-activities/befriending
Its a befriending project were they try and set you with a volunteer in your area who can give you a hand in life, they could just be there for a chat or help you find a free counceling service one that works for you. Just after reading your post and thought it might help.

opinion guy · 28-12-2010 10:32PM

bluecatmorgana wrote: »

I agree with what you say about listening Opinion Guy, a good listener can make all the difference but what I prefer is an active listener, someone who can support me and direct me to my next step or action, someone who I can bounce ideas off and see what I should do. Ive often had a good listener in the form of a psychocologist or therapist but thats about it, they sit there and listen and thats it. I needed someone to converse with me. Well at least thats what Ive learned from my own experience.

Indeed. Trouble is as hard as it is to find someone who is a good listener, its even harder to find someone who can actively listen. I think I've met less than 5 people in my life who can really pull this off. I think to find a good listener in and of itself is a great thing. If you are really lucky you will meet a good active listener.

I once knew someone who was a true master at this. She would say stuff to me that made no sense to me at the time but six months later it would click in place and I'd be like - 'holy crap she was right how did she know that ?'. But I think being this way was too much for her because she later became a closed person.

bluecatmorgana · 28-12-2010 10:32PM

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

A number of reasons, probably because when I look at my life, I am very lucky when compared to others, what do I have to be down about? I am healthy, relatively fit, have good friends, have a good life style, loving family, am doing the course I really wanted to do, etc etc, A far as I can see there is no reason why I should feel the way I do. There are people much worse off and they dont go around moaning about how unhappy they are.

As some have said people would interpret that as weakness, or that I am messed up in the head, that type of thing. And I certainly dont want people to think that about me.

How do you perceive people who suffer from depression , do you see them as weak , or messed up in the head?
Do you believe that it is not possible to suffer from a mental health illness if everything in your life is going well?

Im just interested to know what is your perception?

28-12-2010 10:35PM

You have no idea how good it is for me to see this turning into an open and honest debate, with people giving their stories. Sure there are a few dickheads, but thankfully enough the proper posters are outnumbering them and if we ignore these dicks, they'll just stop.

I suffer from depression a lot sometimes; '09 and the beginning of this year were perhaps the worst times in my life and for the first time in my life I decided to visit a counselor towards the middle of '09. When I had told her the stuff that I had experienced, she was amazed that I was still around and often commented on how strong I was. Thankfully she was unable to prescribe any medication and, even if she could, I would have said no. I realised that I had to fix those things that were destroying my life and I did - though I get bad bouts sometimes, my life in general is much better. I visited my counselor recently and she was amazed at how much healthier and happier I looked, compared to when I first saw her.

It took me months to convince myself that there was a problem and a few weeks to work up the courage to book an appointment. I was worried that people would scorn me for doing it and only one of my good friends know I visit one. Thing is though, when you're talking to people, it's absolutely amazing how many people visit them. We need to make sure that people know there is nothing wrong with admitting you need help and getting said help. It is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Odysseus · 28-12-2010 10:36PM

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

That would really really discourage me from going to my GP now

Well it depends on the GP, and I have no insurance but there are some issues from my medical record that never made it to my job medical. As for Insurance it's like their need to know about my iffy stomach, it's on record now so as I understand it would be five years before I would be able to claim for treatment for it through my insurance, if I got insured tomorrow, that it. Plus like anything thing else there will always be loading issues for certain disorders psychological or physical.

bluecatmorgana · 28-12-2010 10:36PM

Naikon wrote: »

I think it might be due to the percieved stigma with Depression. I mean, if he went to a doctor and got medication, what is to say the doctors won't label him "Depressive" or something. I mean, what are the implications for insurance and the like with Depression?. Basically, I am in the camp that IF you can keep quiet about it, keep it that way. Information can be used against you in more ways than you think...

Ive been on anti-depressiants for 11 years on and off and Ive never had problems with insurance etc. As far as Im concerned its like diabetes, and my life should be normal if I have diabetes.

opinion guy · 28-12-2010 10:38PM

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

A number of reasons, probably because when I look at my life, I am very lucky when compared to others, what do I have to be down about? I am healthy, relatively fit, have good friends, have a good life style, loving family, am doing the course I really wanted to do, etc etc, A far as I can see there is no reason why I should feel the way I do. There are people much worse off and they dont go around moaning about how unhappy they are.

As some have said people would interpret that as weakness, or that I am messed up in the head, that type of thing. And I certainly dont want people to think that about me.

Ok I missed this post earlier. Mussolini would you say being a dictator is stressful ???....er.....um....eh.... what I mean to say is this: is it fair to say that what manifests in you as a feeling of "depression", is in fact a result of the disconnection between on the one hand, your expectation of being happy given your life circumstances, and on the other some negative inner feeling you can't quite explain ?

bluecatmorgana · 28-12-2010 10:44PM

High energy wrote: »

These poll results are shocking, 85% of people experiencing depression at some point in their lives.

The problem with mental illness is it's a relatively new branch of medicine in terms of diagnosis and treatment, and still difficult to quantify. I mean if I go to a doctor and say I haven't been feeling the best the last few days - the water supply to my house is cut off, my car got damaged in the icy conditions, I've feck all money, etc, I'd probably be diagnosed with depression. But I know these things pass and can be resolved.

Basically (and I'm being sincere, +not trying to offend those inflicted with a genuine mental illness) but a lot of doctors are wrongly diagnosing people with depression , and the side effects and history of the medication itself are quite worrying. Maybe I'm a conspiracy wacko, but I think there's something serious going on within the medical and pharmaceutical industry and huge profits are being made out of the whole area of mental illness being difficult to properly diagnose and treat. It's not like cancer or other physical illness where you either 100% have the illness , or 100% don't have it.

Its interesting you should say this because the first time I went to a doctor he put me straight on an antidepressant ciprimil and as my brother says he wrote out with his ciprimil pen on his ciprimil notepad. My family have a history of depression but he never asked me a blessed thing. Surely directing me to a councilor would have been a good idea as a doctor. Personally I dont think GPs should be allowed to prescribe antidepressants, if you have a heart problem who see a cardiologist, if you have a mental problem you see a psychiatrist.

Star Bingo · 28-12-2010 10:45PM

Dudess wrote: »

Conceding it's not "a figment of your imagination" is hardly wallowing in it. And not accepting/admitting it seems a pretty unhealthy way of dealing with it, but if you think that worked for you, fine - doesn't mean others are wrong for not doing the same though.

i said i'll never admit myself, which was pretty much what admitting it to the lady equated to. never been locked in a ward with monged out retards before, having drugs forced on and cameras monitoring at every angle n didn't feel i fit the profile of this depression. twas a difficult night; felt like a week was very miserable for it. got nice compensation anyhow; was unbeknown to me but head shirink mr McGronagle or whatever the his name was actually said i could press charges within his apology so i took it from there; thanks. he was alright

AshSmith · 28-12-2010 10:49PM

I'm suffering from depression and have done for a couple of years. I'm just 19. Currently receiving no help whatsoever. I used to cut, suicidal thoughts, horribly promiscuous, binge drinker so I can forget, general disregard from my physical and emotional well being.

28-12-2010 10:51PM

AshSmith wrote: »

I'm suffering from depression and have done for a couple of years. I'm just 19. Currently receiving no help whatsoever. I used to cut, suicidal thoughts, horribly promiscuous, binge drinker so I can forget, general disregard from my physical and emotional well being.

Would you consider receiving help? Forgot to add, congrats for posting this.

Star Bingo · 28-12-2010 10:53PM

AshSmith wrote: »

I'm suffering from depression and have done for a couple of years. I'm just 19. Currently receiving no help whatsoever. I used to cut, suicidal thoughts, horribly promiscuous, binge drinker so I can forget, general disregard from my physical and emotional well being.

ash i felt like that.. but i also felt i chose to feel like that, it were strange. grew out of it by mid-20s, somehow feel younger than back then too.

ChopShop · 28-12-2010 11:04PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Would you consider receiving help? Forgot to add, congrats for posting this.

Quoted for emphasis.

Wolfe Tone · 28-12-2010 11:12PM

bluecatmorgana wrote: »

How do you perceive people who suffer from depression , do you see them as weak , or messed up in the head?
Do you believe that it is not possible to suffer from a mental health illness if everything in your life is going well?

Im just interested to know what is your perception?

No I don't view them like that no, I think its something some people just have, like the way some people are predisposed to get colds all the time. If there was a physical manifestation of depression I think people would be more understanding.

opinion guy wrote: »

Ok I missed this post earlier. Mussolini would you say being a dictator is stressful ???....er.....um....eh.... what I mean to say is this: is it fair to say that what manifests in you as a feeling of "depression", is in fact a result of the disconnection between on the one hand, your expectation of being happy given your life circumstances, and on the other some negative inner feeling you can't quite explain ?

No, you dont understand, Ive been like this for a good while and had convinced myself that it was my circumstances, for example I thought for a while if I was fitter and lost weight I would be happier, well I got pretty fit and am currently just over 70kg(prob more cause of the turkey!) and I am just over 6 foot one. When I was 16/17 I weighed over 15 stone, and was a lot shorter. I thought that may have been why I was feeling down, it wasnt. Then I thought I was just fed up with school etc, and when I got out of that things would change, they haven't. I thought if I moved out I would feel better, I didn't. I actually don't know why I feel like I do. In fact, on paper I would say the only thing missing from my life would be a gf, but to be honest I like being single. So I have run out of things to blame feeling sh!t on!

bluecatmorgana · 28-12-2010 11:16PM

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

No I don't view them like that no, I think its something some people just have, like the way some people are predisposed to get colds all the time. If there was a physical manifestation of depression I think people would be more understanding.

No, you dont understand, Ive been like this for a good while and had convinced myself that it was my circumstances, for example I thought for a while if I was fitter and lost weight I would be happier, well I got pretty fit and am currently just over 70kg(prob more cause of the turkey!) and I am just over 6 foot one. When I was 16/17 I weighed over 15 stone, and was a lot shorter. I thought that may have been why I was feeling down, it wasnt. Then I thought I was just fed up with school etc, and when I got out of that things would change, they haven't. I thought if I moved out I would feel better, I didn't. I actually don't know why I feel like I do. In fact, on paper I would say the only thing missing from my life would be a gf, but to be honest I like being single. So I have run out of things to blame feeling sh!t on!

Could it be that you are suffering from depression due to a biological issue, in other words its out of your control so to speak?

t0mm13b · 28-12-2010 11:16PM

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

....... In fact, on paper I would say the only thing missing from my life would be a gf, but to be honest I like being single.

I feel ya bro.... *bro-fist*

Sardonicat · 28-12-2010 11:17PM

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

No, you dont understand, Ive been like this for a good while and had convinced myself that it was my circumstances, for example I thought for a while if I was fitter and lost weight I would be happier, well I got pretty fit and am currently just over 70kg(prob more cause of the turkey!) and I am just over 6 foot one. When I was 16/17 I weighed over 15 stone, and was a lot shorter. I thought that may have been why I was feeling down, it wasnt. Then I thought I was just fed up with school etc, and when I got out of that things would change, they haven't. I thought if I moved out I would feel better, I didn't. I actually don't know why I feel like I do. In fact, on paper I would say the only thing missing from my life would be a gf, but to be honest I like being single. So I have run out of things to blame feeling sh!t on!

No I don't view them like that no, I think its something some people just have, like the way some people are predisposed to get colds all the time. If there was a physical manifestation of depression I think people would be more understanding.

Mussolini, I have taken the liberty of rearranging your post. Call me an interferin' aul one if you wish. Something jumped out at me there. Just wondering what you think when you read your responses in reverse order.

bluecatmorgana · 28-12-2010 11:18PM

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

No I don't view them like that no, I think its something some people just have, like the way some people are predisposed to get colds all the time. If there was a physical manifestation of depression I think people would be more understanding.

Diabetes doesnt have any physical manifestations that you can see but people are understanding about that. So its possible for people to become more understanding with awareness.

opinion guy · 28-12-2010 11:20PM

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

No, you dont understand, Ive been like this for a good while and had convinced myself that it was my circumstances, for example I thought for a while if I was fitter and lost weight I would be happier, well I got pretty fit and am currently just over 70kg(prob more cause of the turkey!) and I am just over 6 foot one. When I was 16/17 I weighed over 15 stone, and was a lot shorter. I thought that may have been why I was feeling down, it wasnt. Then I thought I was just fed up with school etc, and when I got out of that things would change, they haven't. I thought if I moved out I would feel better, I didn't. I actually don't know why I feel like I do. In fact, on paper I would say the only thing missing from my life would be a gf, but to be honest I like being single. So I have run out of things to blame feeling sh!t on!

Ok cool. So maybe then its something you are not thinking of ? See you sound alot like I was at one stage - looking at the check list of things required to attain happyness. Eventually I realised it wasn't any of those things. Eventually I figured out what it was but I took along time cause I didn't really have anyone to guide me.

But lets say for a minute that it is something that isn't on the happyness checklist and is something you haven't thought of yet ? Are you willing to entertain that idea ?

Well then the first thing to do would be to think if it isn't something to be attained, can it be something from the past ?

Wolfe Tone · 28-12-2010 11:23PM

bluecatmorgana wrote: »

Could it be that you are suffering from depression due to a biological issue, in other words its out of your control so to speak?

I have no idea, I don't know much about depression and what causes it.

Wolfe Tone · 28-12-2010 11:25PM

Sardonicat wrote: »

Mussolini, I have taken the liberty of rearranging your post. Call me an interferin' aul one if you wish. Something jumped out at me there. Just wondering what you think when you read your responses in reverse order.

Its kinda difficult talking about all this, I never really have before, my head is not the clearest, could you spell it out for me?

Sisko · 28-12-2010 11:25PM

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

In fact, on paper I would say the only thing missing from my life would be a gf, but to be honest I like being single. So I have run out of things to blame feeling sh!t on!

I often wonder due to the biological 'need' to have a mate, that even though we maybe fine with being single this biological need still brings us down.

I've never had long term relationship , it doesn't bother me, I came to realisation many years ago that if your not into clubs or you don't have the ability to chat up random strangers your gonna be staying single for a long time, in this country anyway. (if your male) And I'm fine with that, just hope to meet someone some other way sometime in my life.

But happyness is something I know little of.

Darlughda · 28-12-2010 11:31PM

I find this time of year very difficult.

People who I thought were my close friends, who lived abroad, actually arent even real friends anymore.
They are too busy with their social schedule to even bother to find out where I live anymore. Let alone to go to the effort of sending me a text or an email.

All they really are interested is regaling others in how successful they have all been in their lives.

It so insulting to be invited to these xmas events of drinks in this pub, or tha,t to herald the arrival or departure of these emigrés along with all their other 200 friends on facebook.

Then you realise that Christmas really does suck - If you don't have the happy family bit, and then rely on friends only to realise they are not real.

They are people who left this country a long time ago, laugh at you behind your back because of your fury with social conditions, nama, corruption and child sexual abuse, yet they are now inundated with friends, and your only existence in their life is like the extra decoration on a tree at one of their 'come adore me me me for xmas drinks soireés.'

I wish I could get on with some kind of work but between procrastination and feelings I just can't. Can't believe I am spilling this out on AH

Wolfe Tone · 28-12-2010 11:33PM

Can't believe I am spilling this out on AH

Same here

28-12-2010 11:34PM

Don't question it. I am delighted that you both were able to express it, regardless of where it may be. This thread has turned into such a surprise for me and I am glad it's working as well as it has and hopefully it will keep going.

Sardonicat · 28-12-2010 11:34PM

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

Its kinda difficult talking about all this, I never really have before, my head is not the clearest, could you spell it out for me?

Sorry, Mussolini, we're all demading all sorts of responses from you!

What I noticed was that your response to bluecat was that you thought depression was something that some people were just predisposed to and no fault of their own and bit of acceptance and understanding was called for but your response to OG was to say in short, that you felt you needed to have a "reason" to be depressed as though you don't deserve understanding (that's my understanding of it, please correct me if I'm wrong). Can you not apply the reasoning of your first post to yourself? You seem to be unjustly harsh towards yourself.

stupidusername · 28-12-2010 11:38PM

Darlughda wrote: »

Can't believe I am spilling this out on AH

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

Same here

Deleted User wrote: »

Don't question it. I am delighted that you both were able to express it, regardless of where it may be. This thread has turned into such a surprise for me and I am glad it's working as well as it has and hopefully it will keep going.

have to say the same. it's a hard thing to do to put yourself out there like this especially in a place that is so well known for it's lack of seriousness. hard to imagine this won't bite me in the arse in some way or another.

Depression

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