Tell us about them

This is a great idea! I was actually responding to another thread in here on Monday and I wrote an essay about my gran. I didn't post it though as I figured no-one would care enough to read it all.

My gran was like a mother to me. When my parents went back to work after I was born, she raised me pretty much! She lived on the same street as us so I saw her everyday. It got to the stage where I lived/stayed with her 5 nights out of 7. I adored her. She was my best friend. I haven't got the best relationship with my mother and so all those mother-daughter bonding things I did with my gran.

When I was 14 she passed away. It was so sudden. She wasn't ill. I stayed with her one Sunday night and left early in the morning without a chance to speak to her. That evening, we got a knock on the door to say she had collapsed at the top of the street. She had suffered a brain haemorrhage.

She was declared brain dead and died on the Thursday. It was so hard. It was like I lost a mother. Even now, 7 years later, I still get a longing ache when I think about her. She was amazing.

I just wanted to write out how I felt about her because I never really told her I loved her. We didn't have that type of relationship. She wasn't a soppy woman. But I know she knew I idolised her and I know she loved me like a daughter.

I love you gran. I miss you so much. Watch over me. X

Tell us about them…..hmmmm
I spent 12 fantastic years with a fantastically beautiful woman. She made me reassess everything I was as a person and made me a better man every second she was with me.
I measured my happiness and my success by the breadth of her smile  When people say ‘Your better half’ I know exactly what they mean…Kate was my conscience, my deep breath before I reacted, my centre and her smile still is my happy place on those dark days.
Its 3yrs since she died and I still wake up and roll over in the morning expecting to see her next to me…..And then I remember what happened that she’s gone and its like being back to the 16th April 2007 all over again!

I’ll give the whole story from start, waaaaaay back in ’96, when she was 15 and was 16!
I asked her out without ever even seeing her!
Me and a group of mates were hanging around outside one of our houses.....and I heard the most beautiful laugh in the world coming from behind a van.
So I sent my friends GF over to find out who laughed...And to ask her to 'go away' with me The innocence of youth! haha!!!
That night after our 1st kiss and cuddle I went back to my bestfriend and told him...I just met the girl I'm going to spend the rest of my life with'!
2 weeks later I told her I loved her......and I never looked back!
We had our ups and downs thankfully more ups

We travelled a lot, Spent 4 years living in Lanzarote where I fell in love with the Independent, Strong and assertive woman she became all over again!
We moved home to Ireland in 2003 and our son was born in 2004…..The happiest moment of both our lives 
We both got down to working hard towards buying our home in 2006….We went to view a house that I wasn’t sure about…But Kate made me go back for a second viewing and it grew on me…..
Everything that needed doing was cosmetic so I shrugged my shoulders and got down to bidding, when we finally bought the house and contracts were exchanged Kate sat me down and thanked me! She told me that when she was a little girl she useta walk down the avenue on her way back from going to the shop and sit on the wall outside eating ice cream dreaming that one day she’d live there and now she did 
I asked her why didn’t she tell me that when we were bidding…….And she said because I knew you would have paid whatever they wanted to get it for me, and you know me Babe…..I love a bargain!LOL

We were only in our home 9mths when Kate had a massive heart attack while we were waiting for a taxi on a Saturday afternoon……
Truth be told she was gone before the ambulance came  But they fought soooo hard to give her a chance! We got to the hospital and I had to tell her folks what happened…and as a parent myself its news I never ever want to face 
They kept her on life support for 2 more days, which gave us a chance to get our family together and get her sister home to say goodbye.
Even in death Kate’s generosity shone through, we had often talked about organ donation and Kate was adamant that if ever she was in that position that her organs were to be used our she would haunt me!
It made it an easy decision for us as a Family to donate, in fact we approached the Doctors about it.

So I lost her after 12 years that I wouldn't swap for the universe. But I’m lucky our son is here and even though he was only 3 when she died, he still has so many memories that we talk about and keep fresh in his mind aswell as all the stories that family friends have about his mam….

When I told my friend 12 years earlier that I'd spend the rest of my life loving her I meant it....
I just always thought she'd be here with me:) Instead of being my guardian angel!:(

My dad passed away 6 weeks ago after a bravely fought battle with cancer. My relationship with him had always been quite rocky but over the past 4 or 5 years we had been getting on well, like father and daughter should :-). Before he passed he was in a hospice for a short space of time, every evening I would go to visit him, He wasn't really an affectionate type of man.. I used to say oh dad your skin is very dry, Ill put moisturiser on them. It was only an excuse to hold his hand & be close to him. I wish I had of told him I love him.

My dad passed away after a very long illness, he arranged his own funeral and gave us all very exact instructions, he was a mad hatter and even at the end was joking, He left us all letters telling us what we ment to him as daughters, I will treasure mine as my most worthy possession, we had a 3 day wake where we all shared stories about the great JB. I miss my dad but Im glad he isint suffering anymore.

My dad died fourteen years ago, when i was 16. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. He'd gone back to work for the 1st time on a Saturday since i was born, cos i was starting to do my own thing by that stage. Me and my mam had gone out to get him a birthday card,cos it was his birthday a few days later, it ended up also being the day he was cremated. He'd had a massive heart attack while out on a delivery in work, died instantly.
I always miss him, but i know he's looking down on us all, and keeping us safe.

I'm really really dreading his anniversary in 2 years-cos then he will be out of my life for as long as he was in it.

My granny died in 2001, after a short battle with cancer. I was twelve years old.

Every single memory I have as a child, involves my grandparents. I lived with them for many years of my childhood and people always remarked how I had them both wrapped around my little finger. They were (and my grandad still is) wrapped around mine too.

My granny was the most perfect person I have ever met. I was asked recently was it difficult not having a very close bond with my mother, and the answer is no. My mum is a good person, she really is and I do love her, but love doesn't even come close to describing how I felt about nanny.

I miss the way we stayed up really late at the weekends and talked. I've never been able to talk to anyone else in the same way. I miss her smell - talcum powder and warmth. I wish I could see her again, because sometimes I think that maybe I've forgotten her voice, or that maybe when I picture her, I part her hair on the wrong side. It makes me sad when people say that time is a healer. I only feel like we get further and further apart.

If I stayed here writing this for hours and hours, I'd never be able to sum up how glad I am to have had such an amazing grandmother. Twelve years is a short time to have had someone, but I still think I'm lucky. If I'm even a tiny bit like her, that's more than enough for me.

The day she died meant that a gap was created in my life. It was a gap that can never be filled, but I like to think that we had a bond that can never be broken, also. So wherever you are, granny, I hope you know I love you, that I'll always miss you. Oh, and that I'm working on becoming a doctor - just like I told you I would. x

It was my dad's month's mass today, it was the first time all his girls were together since the funeral, and while we celebrated his life a month ago, today we all cried, after a month without him, it all hit home today, we reconed we were so prepared for his passing, and we were, he made sure of that, but today was a very different affair, a month ago we laughed and the whole family were here to say goodbye, today it was just his daughters, JB was a legend, my sister is expecting a boy, JB jr. he has huge shoes to fill.

My grandad passed away in 2007. I'll never forget the long and horrible night he passed. My boyfriend was having a party in his house. I hadn't even gone downstairs to join the party when I noticed a load of missed calls from my parents. Such a horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach when you know something bad has happened

Grandad had been deteriorating over the past few years, but this one had hit him hard. This was the call to say it was all about to end. My boyfriend and his dad immediately started the car to drive me the 25 mile trip to the hospital, where my parents were headed. He was already unconscious when we got there, and wouldn't wake up again. The whole family spent the night in between his room and the waiting room, as there wasn't really enough space for us all, but we were told not to go home as this was it. In the final hour, it was absolutely heartbreaking to see my poor Grandma looking desperately at the nurse as he felt Grandad's pulse for the millionth time. The final time, just before 8am, he just nodded at my Grandma and we all fell apart. My uncle arrived from Portugal just over an hour too late.

The only comfort I had at that time was that as soon as he was gone, his face changed. I could see he wasn't there. It wasn't Grandad. I could feel better that he wasn't suffering anymore.

I miss him all the time. I try to see my Grandma as often as possible. Even just nattering for a few hours over a pot of tea. I want her to know that I care about her and love her, because sometimes I think I didn't say it enough to Grandad.

We had our own little ways though. Our hello and goodbye to eachother was always a 'bonk' on the head. It sounds so strange to people outside the family; a gentle touching of foreheads and you always had to say 'bonk' I always sat beside him at the dinner table every Sunday, to take care of him. He was always dropping his napkin so I used to pin it to the top of his jumper at the start of every meal. And no matter how many lights we had on in the room, he would always say he couldn't see his dinner, so I got him one of the miner's torches that you put on your head. He could always see his dinner then, even if it looked really silly He'd rub my hand, smile and say "My Al, always looking after me".

His voice is still on the phone message recorder, and still makes us laugh because he has his 'phone voice' on. I think of him every time I see a Fry's Chocolate Cream. Or any time I see a sailing boat, even as a decoration. I don't know what they're called but you know those remembrance bookmark things you can get? With the picture of the person and a prayer? Grandad's sits in the fruit bowl at home, on the dining table, so he's always at dinner.


This has been great to talk about it. I've never felt I could 'bore' people with my little stories of him. Just kind of thought no one would care that much and they'd think I was weird.

My Daddy passed away June 09 aged 61. It was so unexpected. Perfectly healthy man, we had just been down for fathers day. Then he got a nose bleed, went to A&E, and 6 hours later was dead. We're still waiting on the coroners findings, as it wasn't heart, brain, clot etc. nothing normal. This makes it so hard to move on for everyone especially my mum.

My mum and dad were totally in love. Daddy just adored his family and worked so hard for us all. There are no bad memories of him. The family is just devastated, we're a big, loud family who are very close. My mum is lost, that's the only word. She keeps going on holidays to get away from things but ultimately she's lost her partner, they thought they had years together yet. I don't know what to do to help her, none of us do.

I don't think it really gets better, I'll always miss him, he was my Daddy and you only get one.

Great thread.

My Mum was and still is the love of my life. I know this deep down. As a child, she would take any upset away from me, my haven of happiness. She got a brain tumour when I was 7. From then, I remember so much sadness and even though Mum was the one I would always turn to for comfort, something was different and I began to have troubles. This tumour eventually got her when I was 17 after a long illness towards the end of which there wasn't much of her to recognise. She couldn't be around to help me through the difficult years of growing up. I turned inside myself. I don't have any memories of her before her first illness. But I know deep down how, before that, she was the light in my life and still is. I feel that I haven't put enough effort into reconstructing her in my mind and I must do that through trying to talk to my Dad and to spend more time with her sisters. I think my need to do this is what hurts most.

I just know that my Dad fell in love with her for her energy, positivity, beauty, love of people and the world, soft gentle and big eyes (which I'm so glad I inherited) and wide smile. I want that, too.

I miss you so much and no one can hold a candle to you.

Oh Well OK, My heart goes out to you, I cant imagine what your going through, and I know that nothing I say can change things for you, but I just want to say that BOTH your beautiful babies and you four year old are incredibly lucky to have parents like you and your partner. Make the most of whatever time you have with both babies. Whatever length you will be blessed to have with both babies is valid (Not sure if thats phrased rightly) both lives are equally presious and to anyone who make you doubt your feelings by speaking in the past tense, just tell them that. More than likely they are misguidedly trying to help. At the risk of sounding like a mad hippy, I will ask my angels to help keep you and ALL members of your family safe and protected.

Take care of yourself, don't be afraid to cry, your human. Take any help thats offered and lean on friends and family. they may not know exactly what to say or do but they will be there for you in any way they can be.