The Irish dating Scene

dellas1979 · 03-07-2010 04:25PM

Ive been around the block a few times too...the only thing I can say is if it feels right, ask a man/approach him. Each to their own - if it works for you and all that.

I am of the opinion that if you chase/ask a man out, what sarahsassy said is exactly what happens.

I was in the states lately and the difference in men is crazy - like actually striking up a conversation with you - in shops etc...not like here where they look at you out of the cornor of their eye in sheer panic/pity/ignoring you.

It doesnt get easier as you get older, in fact, i find it gets harder.

The only girls who seem to get any action are the ones who have skirts up to their arse cheeks, pissed off their heads and nasty fake tan/boobs hanging out. I think that that is the level of what men are looking for on nights out, so maybe try meeting men in different environments.

greengiant09 · 03-07-2010 05:57PM

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Only because women in general would be happy to date a man...but men are difficult to date...if a guy is really interested in a woman, he lets her know about it and the woman is happy to go along with it. Too many times, women end up wasting their time with men who are not truly interested in them. Sorry but humans were not just born yesterday...its called the mating game and its not just humans who participate in this sport...all animals leave it up to the man to make the 1st move

god, there's so many things wrong with your post i don't know where to begin!

"men are difficult to date" = horsesh*t

i could say the exact same thing about women but i won't because the truth is that SOME people are difficult to date, BOTH men and women!

"all animals leave it up to the man the make the first move"

got a feeling this is more "made up" crap....i'd verify it off the internet but i couldn't be arsed.

LegacyUser · 04-07-2010 11:12AM

Hi OP, I feel your pain!
I am in my mid 30s, and have been single until recently. I was sick of going out every Sat night to the same bars where I met the same guys who only found the guts of making a move towards the very end of the night. Got asked my number by many, some never called, went on a date with one and then got dropped because I didn't put out (he thought he was God's gift). At the end I started going out with a guy who I had met through a club (on the same lines as meetup). I know I wasn't his first choice as he had tried his luck with other girls in the club before me. He was also sick of being single as getting older, most of his friends settled. Wasn't my type either. Well was afraid of ending up on the shelf. Married now, no more crushed hopes every Sat night for me. I'd say, OP, join clubs and be open minded and give guys a chance even if they are not your type

TitoPuente · 04-07-2010 12:25PM

formersingle wrote: »

I was sick of going out every Sat night to the same bars where I met the same guys who only found the guts of making a move towards the very end of the night.

See that was your problem right there. You sat around like a wallflower waiting to be chatted up, not taking any initiative whatsoever. In today's "equal" society, isn't it amazing how men are supposed to take all the risk and do all the chatting up?

Advice ladies - I know plenty of eligible bachelors who'd rather remain single forever than be viciously knocked back by some sociopathic woman in a pub. You see a guy you like - you do the chatting up. Subtle body language and eye gestures don't work.

jurgenscarl · 04-07-2010 12:43PM

I know plenty of eligible bachelors who'd rather remain single forever than be viciously knocked back by some sociopathic woman in a pub.

Sociopathic? Excuse me? Because some idiot came up to them and used the same old boring approach that they heard a thousands times before?

Do you think that women are supposed to just genuflect before men or something?

You are aware that women are pestered all the time by the same 'nice' guys dripping with insecurity and fear of rejection who try to bribe them with presents, drinks, dinner, cinema etc etc in a nakedly calculated needy attempt to get them into bed.

Women aren't stupid.

And why the hell would a women have to approach men when she is approached all the time by men usually making unwanted advances everywhere they go?

The only problem women have is sifting through the haystack and finding Mr. Right.

The best advance any women have is to set her standards high and never compromise them. It's the best way of scaring off sleazeballs.

The best advice for any man is to stop trying so hard, to realise that when he is lusting after a woman she can smell it a mile off, to take a genuine interest in getting to know the woman as a person and to have as wide a social circle and as full a life as possible.

That's what women find attractive.

TitoPuente · 04-07-2010 12:50PM

jurgenscarl wrote: »

Sociopathic? Excuse me? Because some idiot came up to them and used the same old boring approach that they heard a thousands times before?

My friends are intelligent, charming and decent guys. They've been viciously verbally abused by women in the past for absolutely no reason other than the fact that they were trying to make polite conversation. As had I before I met my current partner. Many times.

jurgenscarl wrote: »

Do you think that women are supposed to just genuflect before men or something?

No. But they should at least be polite... whether they're interested or not.

jurgenscarl · 04-07-2010 01:08PM

My friends are intelligent, charming and decent guys. They've been viciously verbally abused by women in the past for absolutely no reason other than the fact that they were trying to make polite conversation. As had I before I met my current partner. Many times.

I'm sure your friends are intelligent, charming and decent guys but I suspect that when they try to talk to women they become a competely different person - supplicating to the women and making it clear far too early that they are attracted to them. Women are nauseated when a man puts on an act of being 'polite.' They have seen it all before.

No. But they should at least be polite... whether they're interested or not.

Why should they?
For most women the pathetic approaches are painful to endure.
They are actually doing the men a favour by either telling them where to go or blanking them and ignoring them.

Imagine if you were having callers at all times of the day and night trying to sell a product - that is in essence what men are doing when they interact with a women. After dozens of people giving you flyers and trying to give you a sale pitch you would give up even answering the door bell wouldn't you? Even if they wanted you to sign up to donate few cents a day to save black babies you would get sick of the inconvience very quickly.

That's how a woman feels.

TitoPuente · 04-07-2010 01:29PM

jurgenscarl wrote: »

I'm sure your friends are intelligent, charming and decent guys but I suspect that when they try to talk to women they become a competely different person - supplicating to the women and making it clear far too early that they are attracted to them. Women are nauseated when a man puts on an act of being 'polite.' They have seen it all before.

Nah. My mates are much more discreet and charming than that.

jurgenscarl wrote: »

Why should they?

Because politeness is a good quality. Being short and rude with people is, well, a scumbag quality.

jurgenscarl wrote: »

For most women the pathetic approaches are painful to endure.
They are actually doing the men a favour by either telling them where to go or blanking them and ignoring them.

Right.

jurgenscarl wrote: »

Imagine if you were having callers at all times of the day and night trying to sell a product - that is in essence what men are doing when they interact with a women. After dozens of people giving you flyers and trying to give you a sale pitch you would give up even answering the door bell wouldn't you? Even if they wanted you to sign up to donate few cents a day to save black babies you would get sick of the inconvience very quickly.

That's how a woman feels.

Well isn't it wonderful that the pathetic men of Ireland are falling over themselves for you, day and night? :rolleyes:

As I said earlier, my mates aren't that bothered about chatting up women anymore anyway and most are happy to be single. Mainly because of attitudes like yours.

And the battle of the sexes continues.

jurgenscarl · 04-07-2010 01:53PM

Nah. My mates are much more discreet and charming than that.

Really? They are obviously doing something wrong if women are telling them to rudely get lost.

There is either A a vast conspiracy among all Irish women against them or B it is simply because they come across wrong.

B seems far more possible.

Because politeness is a good quality. Being short and rude with people is, well, a scumbag quality.

Aww come on. Grow up.
If you were walking down the street and a smelly guy came begging for change and he followed you and asked for you telephone number so you could meet up and go see a movie, would you waste time being polite?

That's how women feel when they get unwanted attention, passes and advances.

Doesn't matter if he is the most polie guy in the world, if he drips insecurity and neediness he might as well be a homeless bum.

If you pat a stray puppy on the head, he will follow you home.

Most puppies have to be put down.

You have to be cruel to be kind.

Well isn't it wonderful that the pathetic men of Ireland are falling over themselves for you, day and night? :rolleyes:

You've got it all wrong. I'm a guy. Sorry for giving you the wrong impression.:D I'm simply telling you what women I have been with have told me about how they feel when they are approached by guys who make obvious approaches.

As I said earlier, my mates aren't that bothered about chatting up women anymore anyway and most are happy to be single.

Maybe that's the proper attitude for your friends . It's counterintuitive but when them stop trying too hard and stop telegraphing interest to women, the more they will find them attractive.

LegacyUser · 04-07-2010 02:00PM

TitoPuente wrote: »

Nah. My mates are much more discreet and charming than that.

I once went out with a fella who was loved by his mates, both male and female. They all thought he was a gentleman and couldn't understand why he was single.
I met up with him in Portarlington (probably a mistake meeting there : ), and my friends happened to be out in a pub there. I said I wouldn't mind having a drink with my friends. He said, he wanted to go back to my house. At my house, he wanted to go up to my room. In my room, he wanted more and I knocked him back. I thankfully never heard from him again after I told him to leave. If I was to go back and do it all again, I would have told him where to go after he said he wanted to go to my house. So I enabled his attitude somewhat.

I'm good friends with one of his female friends. I told her what happened and she was very surprised that he would act that way.

So it's really pointless you saying that your friends are lovely, polite and charming. They could turn when they meet someone of the opposite sex, and have an attitude of entitlement that you don't see because your friends don't look at you in that way.

The same goes for single female friends whom everyone says are adorable, and why are they single etc etc. They could turn all needy and pathetic once a man arrives on the scene. And the man, shock horror, has the right to say he doesn't want to have any part in that. Just like a woman has the right to turn down someone she feels she doesn't click with.

TitoPuente · 04-07-2010 02:14PM

jurgenscarl wrote: »

Really? They are obviously doing something wrong if women are telling them to rudely get lost.

Not really, no. It's only really in a minority of cases anyway. Still though, there is a significant percentage of the female population that will be vicious and abusive when approached by any men. These women, even if in the minority, are the reason my friends no longer approach women when they're out. If there's, say, a 1 in 5 chance that they're going to be abused or humiliated by some man-hating sociopath then they're not going to bother. Why would they?

jurgenscarl wrote: »

Aww come on. Grow up.
If you were walking down the street and a smelly guy came begging for change and he followed you and asked for you telephone number so you could meet up and go see a movie, would you waste time being polite?

My friends aren't smelly, beggars or even persistent. They're polite, dignified and can take 'no' for an answer. Just not when it's followed by verbal abuse for no reason other than a woman's pig-headed sense of superiority and entitlement.

jurgenscarl wrote: »

Doesn't matter if he is the most polie guy in the world, if he drips insecurity and neediness he might as well be a homeless bum.

Again, none of my friends 'drip' neediness or insecurity. As I said, they're happy enough to be single. I agree with your point in principal but you have to remember that women can be vicious to even confident and decent guys. You seem to think that acidic verbal abuse dished out by so many women is the man's fault. Ridiculous.

jurgenscarl wrote: »

Maybe that's the proper attitude for your friends . It's counterintuitive but when them stop trying too hard and stop telegraphing interest to women, the more they will find them attractive.

As I said, my friends don't really bother anymore. Their 'attitude' is and always has been perfectly fine. They have the same 'attitude' I had when I met my OH. It's the attitudes of many of the women that they've approached that's the problem unfortunately.

jurgenscarl · 04-07-2010 03:20PM

Still though, there is a significant percentage of the female population that will be vicious and abusive when approached by any men. These women, even if in the minority, are the reason my friends no longer approach women when they're out.

Stop the presses:eek:Women are bitchy.OMG

Well get used to it. Women whine and complain and complain and whine and bitch. That's how women communicate.

If a man wants to get with a woman he has to just laugh it off. It should be water off a duck's back.

When women are vicious and abusive it's just a sh8t test.

They are simply testing the man to see if he will wimp out and run off or if he will be a REAL man and turn the tables.

A bitch has to meet her match in a man who is unaffected, doesn't give a crap and refuses to take any crap.

That's where confidence and a sense of humour come in.

You can use both to cut her down to size.

Polite doesn't cut it.

FFS the milkman or the postman or kind old ladies are polite.

TitoPuente · 04-07-2010 05:17PM

jurgenscarl wrote: »

Stop the presses:eek:Women are bitchy.OMG

Well get used to it. Women whine and complain and complain and whine and bitch. That's how women communicate.

That's how insecure little girls communicate. Real women show intelligence and civility.

jurgenscarl wrote: »

When women are vicious and abusive it's just a sh8t test.

They are simply testing the man to see if he will wimp out and run off or if he will be a REAL man and turn the tables.

It's a pretty misguided s**t test if you ask me. As opposed to "wimping out" and running off, I'd generally just assume the girl had serious mental issues, smile and back away quickly. Real men don't go out with bitchy, socially aggressive women.

jurgenscarl wrote: »

A bitch has to meet her match in a man who is unaffected, doesn't give a crap and refuses to take any crap.

Well I'm assuming these bitchy women will get what they deserve in the end. Good luck to them.

jurgenscarl wrote: »

That's where confidence and a sense of humour come in.

I'm confident and have a great sense of humour. I just don't like bitchy women. I consider them quite below me and, most probably, dragged up. Not my cup of tea. Nor my friends'.

jurgenscarl wrote: »

You can use both to cut her down to size.

Oh PLEASE! PUA nonsense straight from the textbook of the socially inept.

jurgenscarl wrote: »

Polite doesn't cut it.

It worked for me. I'm with a real woman. A strong, confident woman who sees men as equals in a social setting and doesn't try to mask any of her insecurities through caustic behaviour.

Anyway - we're getting off topic. My point was that the Irish dating scene is a mess because of all the hostility. I think we can both agree on that. Good guys worth dating don't generally engage in the childish, mentally unsound courting rituals that we seem to have imported from the States.

jurgenscarl · 04-07-2010 06:36PM

Oh PLEASE! PUA nonsense straight from the textbook of the socially inept.

How would you know?

Silverfish · 04-07-2010 06:40PM

This is hardly helpful to the OP.

If you wish to have a debate, please either take it to pm or Humanities.

Thank you.

Discodog · 04-07-2010 06:48PM

I would urge any female to never be afraid of making the first move. Personally I would see this as a positive. It would not make me think of her in any sort of bad light.

There can be many reasons why a guy does not approach a girl even if he finds her attractive. Maybe some women make the mistake of assuming that we can read, what to her, are obvious signs of attraction.

jurgenscarl · 04-07-2010 07:08PM

I would urge any female to never be afraid of making the first move. Personally I would see this as a positive. It would not make me think of her in any sort of bad light.

That's never going to happen and you know it.
Women aren't afraid of making the first move.
They just simply don't need to.
Do you think women care what you think?
Pleading for water not to be wet is not going to get you anywhere.
The onus is entirely on you to approach.

There can be many reasons why a guy does not approach a girl even if he finds her attractive. Maybe some women make the mistake of assuming that we can read, what to her, are obvious signs of attraction.

If a guy can't read the obvious signs of attraction why should a woman have to help him? There are lots other guys who can read the signs and are prepared to make the approach. Women don't wait for slowcoaches to figure it out.

Discodog · 04-07-2010 07:20PM

jurgenscarl wrote: »

That's never going to happen and you know it.
Women aren't afraid of making the first move.
They just simply don't need to.
Do you think women care what you think?
Pleading for water not to be wet is not going to get you anywhere.
The onus is entirely on you to approach.
If a guy can't read the obvious signs of attraction why should a woman have to help him? There are lots other guys who can read the signs and are prepared to make the approach. Women don't wait for slowcoaches to figure it out.

I am not getting drawn into a debate with you. Many women have & will make the first move. There is nothing unnatural about doing it. People post here to express opinions & yes I do think that people, both male & female, care.

You may consider yourself an expert in the field of seduction. You may have a harem of women trying to tear you away from your keyboard. Then again...........

Silverfish · 04-07-2010 07:22PM

jurgenscarl, please try and keep on-topic and helpful to the OP.

If you wish to start a debate on women's dating habits, please try the Humanities or Gentlemen's Club forums, thank you.

gavney1 · 05-07-2010 12:32PM

OP,

I'm a guy, and usually I would have always tried to go down the route of the "traditional dating" route - i.e. meet a girl on a night out, then meet her for a drink etc. or do something just the two of us

BUT I have met girls in the past who just seem to find the idea bizarre!
Like, I'd suggest to meet them for a drink, but they want to meet on a night out with all their friends.

I'm not a 100% sure why - it seems a bit teenagerish.

My guess is one of two reasons
1. They feel nervous and would feel more comfortable with their friends and plus maybe it's more fun?
2. They want to get their friends opinions of the guy they're meeting?

I can relate to the first reason. But at the same time, you don't really get a chance to get to know the person. I find friends can be a bit distracting and you end up barely talking to the person you came out to see.

jurgenscarl · 05-07-2010 07:42PM

gavney1 wrote: »

OP,

I'm a guy, and usually I would have always tried to go down the route of the "traditional dating" route - i.e. meet a girl on a night out, then meet her for a drink etc. or do something just the two of us

BUT I have met girls in the past who just seem to find the idea bizarre!
Like, I'd suggest to meet them for a drink, but they want to meet on a night out with all their friends.

I'm not a 100% sure why - it seems a bit teenagerish.

My guess is one of two reasons
1. They feel nervous and would feel more comfortable with their friends and plus maybe it's more fun?
2. They want to get their friends opinions of the guy they're meeting?

I can relate to the first reason. But at the same time, you don't really get a chance to get to know the person. I find friends can be a bit distracting and you end up barely talking to the person you came out to see.

A girl has to fit you into her life.
She's not going to give up her friends just for you.
If you want a relationship with a girl you have to win the approval of her social group.
Otherwise forget about it.

Anyways you should only date women you are already having sex with.

TitoPuente · 05-07-2010 10:05PM

jurgenscarl wrote: »

A girl has to fit you into her life.
She's not going to give up her friends just for you.
If you want a relationship with a girl you have to win the approval of her social group.
Otherwise forget about it.

My God, what books have you been reading?

jurgenscarl wrote: »

Anyways you should only date women you are already having sex with.

Are you saying that you shouldn't date a woman unless you've already had sex with her? Eh....

BumbleB · 05-07-2010 10:27PM

jurgenscarl wrote: »

The courtship ritual between men and women is relatively simple to explain.

Put an attractive woman in a room of 100 men and without her even speaking to them at all they will want to have sex with her.
Women are spoilt for choice.
Women therefore are subject to endless unwanted sexual advances from men to the point that the more attractive a woman is, the more bored and unaffected she is going to be and the higher her standards are going to be before a man can have sex with her.
This means that the onus is entirely on the man to make the first approach.
In the ugly the attraction sleeps and in the beautiful it is wide awake.

I think its a million times easier to pull a really good looking girl than an average one.:)

jurgenscarl · 05-07-2010 10:49PM

I think its a million times easier to pull a really good looking girl than an average one.

Only partly true.

A goodlooking woman is usually far more sexual than a plain jane.

However before a goodlooking women agrees to have sex with a man, he has to meet her exacting standards first.

Attractive women have no problems meeting men who do because they are bombarded with a blizzard of propositions from zeros and heroes alike.

All they have to do is recognise the heroes and ditch the zeros.

The plainer the girl, the more shrewish and moralistic she is going to be, probably because she has a chip on her shoulder because men pass her over.

A really ugly woman is not going to believe it if a goodlooking man propositioned her.

She would probably boost her ego by rejecting him because she would never believe it would be possible.

The uglier the woman or the more shy the man the less likely they will ever get laid unless they hook up out of desperation.

At least when the priesthood or convents were fashionable they could rescue their bruised egos.

Not now though.

Sad really.

BumbleB · 05-07-2010 11:36PM

jurgenscarl wrote: »

Only partly true.

A goodlooking woman is usually far more sexual than a plain jane.

However before a goodlooking women agrees to have sex with a man, he has to meet her exacting standards first.

Attractive women have no problems meeting men who do because they are bombarded with a blizzard of propositions from zeros and heroes alike.

All they have to do is recognise the heroes and ditch the zeros.

The plainer the girl, the more shrewish and moralistic she is going to be, probably because she has a chip on her shoulder because men pass her over.

A really ugly woman is not going to believe it if a goodlooking man propositioned her.

She would probably boost her ego by rejecting him because she would never believe it would be possible.

The uglier the woman or the more shy the man the less likely they will ever get laid unless they hook up out of desperation.

At least when the priesthood or convents were fashionable they could rescue their bruised egos.

Not now though.

Sad really.

I dont agree with you at all .From what I've seen in nightclubs really good looking women dont get that much advances from guys unless they are very extrovert.

I don't use a textbook to figure out how to engage the opposite sex ,nothing is cut and dried like that, life is full of variables.

TitoPuente · 05-07-2010 11:41PM

BumbleB wrote: »

I don't use a textbook to figure out how to engage the opposite sex ,nothing is cut and dried like that, life is full of variables.

Totally. I don't think PUA logic is ever really apt in the real world. It can only really be applied to pretentious nightclubs where the majority of clientele are either vacuous, materialistic blondes with too much fake tan or pissed-up idiots looking to catch their umpteenth dose of the clap.

HavingCrack · 06-07-2010 02:24AM

Hey OP

Basically Irish people of both genders have a severe problem of dating outside of the pub/club scene-I'd presume it's something to do with our relationship with alcohol but I'm no expert. Personally speaking I much prefer to approach a girl in a more regular environment eg college or a house party and ask for a number there and meet up for a date to see how we get on rather than blindly hooking up in clubs drunkenly. Much more pleasant and natural as I find alcohol dents my charms with the ladies

unregistered wrote: »

I'm tired of the argument that Irish women expect Irish men to do all the running, and they expect everything to be handed to them on a plate. I was always one to take the bull by the horns and ask men out, initiate contact, arrange dates etc. End result was that texts and calls started drying up. These men didn't even have the basic decency to say it was over.

So I stopped initiating things with men.

There are very, very few men who will accept a woman being so forward. The reality is that most women would like to initiate things, but they either intuitively know or learn the hard way (like me!) that men do not like to be chased.

A lot of men get fed up being rejected and played by women also but they don't have the safety net a woman does to fall back on. A man who gives up on dating is effectively sidelined for good while an atttractive woman can sit back and the guys will keep coming.

Hence a lot of men end up in relationships or married to women they settled for rather than really wanted to be with. A sad state of affairs to be honest so if all that PUA stuff helps men out I'm all for it.

jurgenscarl wrote: »

A girl has to fit you into her life.
She's not going to give up her friends just for you.
If you want a relationship with a girl you have to win the approval of her social group.
Otherwise forget about it.

Anyways you should only date women you are already having sex with.

You've clearly been reading some how to date women book or seduction psycology for dummies or something because your language is far too similar to the type the PUA guys use for you to have come up on your own. Perhaps you study this area of psycology but I doubt it very much.

Your point makes no sense by the way. I'm interested in the girl not her friends and I have no desire to meet them until we have a relationship going-whats the point. A girl tried to pull the lets meet up in a club with our friends trick before and it just reeked of insecurity to me. She came across as a person incapable of being on her own which says needy to me and is a big no no. I went along with it anyway and her friends turned out to be utter spanners so that was the end of that.

Surely the point of dating is to weed out the women you're interested in having sex with from those you don't??? Unless you have some magic recipe that makes women instantly jump into bed with you (I'm leaving one night stands out of this because they're a different kettle of fish actually) surely a date is going to have to occur at some stage.

HavingCrack · 06-07-2010 02:28AM

TitoPuente wrote: »

Totally. I don't think PUA logic is ever really apt in the real world. It can only really be applied to pretentious nightclubs where the majority of clientele are either vacuous, materialistic blondes with too much fake tan or pissed-up idiots looking to catch their umpteenth dose of the clap.

This isn't true. PUA actually advises men to stay away from nightclusb as much as possible and make most of their approaches in supermarkets, bookshops, the park-whatever. Women are generally more open and less on their guard than they would be in a bar environment.

PUA gets a lot of criticism (some deserved) but on the whole its about teaching men how to be the confident, outgoing, charming men women like which has to be a good thing in my book.

Don't knock it until you've tried it. It's helped me a lot

TitoPuente · 06-07-2010 07:43AM

HavingCrack wrote: »

Don't knock it until you've tried it. It's helped me a lot

I have no intention of trying it. Unfortunately the number of people that post on boards, citing this PUA nonsense makes me cringe and leaves me utterly cold. If it's helped a few genuine guys to become more confident then that's great. Sadly, from what I can see, it turns most guys from hapless losers into these psychobabble spouting idiots with a completely false sense of what they think is 'confidence' and a view of women that comes only second to hardcore porn in its objectivity.

PUA is for losers. And that's a fact.

jurgenscarl · 06-07-2010 10:10AM

Your point makes no sense by the way. I'm interested in the girl not her friends and I have no desire to meet them until we have a relationship going-whats the point. A girl tried to pull the lets meet up in a club with our friends trick before and it just reeked of insecurity to me. She came across as a person incapable of being on her own which says needy to me and is a big no no. I went along with it anyway and her friends turned out to be utter spanners so that was the end of that.

Women aren't blow up dollies. They have a social life and a social circle.
If you like the girl you must at some stage meet with her friends and they have to like you. You don't necessarily have to like them or become best buddies as such. A girl is going to get bored very very quickly if being with you means that her friends are out of picture. Girls who have boyfriends like to bring them along and show them off to their girl mates who bring along their boyfriends. Couples go out with other couples.

When couples get married they don't just keep to themselves either, they have the same friends they had when they were single, they go to each other's weddings, their kids play with each other when the adults come around to visit.

To be honest what you are talking about is your own neediness and insecurity.
If you are going out with a girl, her friends are part of the package whether you like it or not. She talks to them about what is going right or wrong in your relationship and looks for advice. Her friends' opinions on you good or bad can decide whether she stays with you or not.

Unless you have some magic recipe that makes women instantly jump into bed with you (I'm leaving one night stands out of this because they're a different kettle of fish actually) surely a date is going to have to occur at some stage.

The date is the reward you give to a girl after sex.

The date should never be the bribe to get sex.

If a girl likes you and you take her to dinner, for drink, to a movie etc. and then have sex with her she didn't have sex with you because of the date. She had sex with you because she likes you.

It's best to have sex with a girl you like as soon as possible - preferably the first day you met her.

The Irish dating Scene

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