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What would you do - a bit of a situation with male friend

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Comments

  • #32
    dinneenp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,239 ✭✭✭dinneenp


    Was it a few drinks or could he have been so plastered that he thought he was alone in his own bed?
    As someone else mentioned why didn't u offer him d couch?
    Opposite sex in bed = always something might happen


  • #33
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 45,738 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    It's all fun and games until your best friend comes in your bed.


  • #34
    eoinbn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 883 ✭✭✭eoinbn


    nicegirl wrote: »
    I knew what he was at, and was half asleep myself. I am just annoyed I didn't wake up properly and toss him out of my house....wouldn't that freak out any girl?

    Maybe he was asleep?! I have been woken up by GF's entertaining her in her sleep and entertaining me in her sleep.... must be that multi-tasking that we hear so much about!


  • #35
    WindSock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    nicegirl wrote: »
    Your hero, oh God! Ladies, whats your views on this? I am still freaked out thinking about it...


    LL that way ---> tbh.

    And I don't know what you expected. Letting him sleep beside you in your bed leaves it open for any sorts of funny business to happen. At least he didn't try to 'hug' you or poke you with his lad.

    He was probably hoping you would join in or something. Or he could have been half asleep himself with a horn and forgot where he was.


  • #36
    DarkJager
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,960 ✭✭✭DarkJager


    nicegirl wrote: »
    I was not drunk and he was not drunk, but he was suppose to drive and couldn't. Thought I'd give him a bed for the night, as we were friends, and the last thing I expected was what happened.. I couldn't send him to sleep on the coach as I have no bed clothes for the couch. I am annoyed with myself in a way, but imagine this happening, if you were friends with a lad

    You do know a couch is fine to sleep on without bed clothes??


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  • #37
    Delicate_Dlite
    Closed Accounts Posts: 250 ✭✭Delicate_Dlite


    Yes, I think it's safe to say any female would find that weird/awkward and more than a lil gross, not to mention inappropriate but only if he was fully awake if he was asleep it's not really his fault.

    I've shared a bed with most of my male friends and thank the lord none of them have ever done that... ~*goes to send thank-you-cakes to them*


  • #38
    Drake66
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 343 ✭✭Drake66


    nicegirl wrote: »
    I was not drunk and he was not drunk, but he was suppose to drive and couldn't. Thought I'd give him a bed for the night, as we were friends, and the last thing I expected was what happened.. I couldn't send him to sleep on the coach as I have no bed clothes for the couch. I am annoyed with myself in a way, but imagine this happening, if you were friends with a lad

    Perhaps it would be best not to be friends with him anymore. Pretty disgusting thing for a "friend" to do to you.


  • #39
    Armin_Tamzarian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,833 ✭✭✭✭Armin_Tamzarian


    nicegirl wrote: »
    I am annoyed with myself in a way, but imagine this happening, if you were friends with a lad

    Don't worry nicegirl.
    You're not the first boardsie that this has happened to.

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=56964355&postcount=1


  • #40
    SeaFields
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,551 ✭✭✭SeaFields


    Delicate_Dlite wrote: »
    I've shared a bed with most of my male friends and thank the lord none of them have ever done that...

    Well, not that you know of anyway...:p


  • #41
    shampon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 580 ✭✭✭shampon


    nicegirl wrote: »
    I knew what he was at, and was half asleep myself. I am just annoyed I didn't wake up properly and toss him off of myself....

    Yeah!


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  • #42
    nicegirl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 560 ✭✭✭nicegirl


    Drake66 wrote: »
    Perhaps it would be best not to be friends with him anymore. Pretty disgusting thing for a "friend" to do to you.

    Am no longer talking to this dude. Too disgusted and freaked out about the entire thing tbh


  • #43
    MitchKoobski
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,101 ✭✭✭MitchKoobski


    Geez I offered to sleep on the couch but nooooooo.........


  • #44
    Xavi6
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,991 ✭✭✭✭Xavi6


    What were you wearing OP?


  • #45
    Prof.Badass
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,931 ✭✭✭Prof.Badass


    dinneenp wrote: »
    Opposite sex in bed = always something might happen

    60% of the time it works every time :pac:.

    Seriously though, a prudish statement. Nothing sexual about sleeping in the same bed as someone as long as it's "head to foot"......well there really shouldn't be :mad:.


  • #46
    Delicate_Dlite
    Closed Accounts Posts: 250 ✭✭Delicate_Dlite


    Well, not that you know of anyway...tongue.gif

    Well thank you, I intended on spending the night rocking back and forth mumbling..*no...they wouldn't.....they couldn't ....I'd have noticed...wouldn't I....*:( anyway.


  • #47
    GoldCobra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 122 ✭✭GoldCobra


    Xavi6 wrote: »
    What were you wearing OP?

    nothing at all.......(nothing at all)


  • #48
    nicegirl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 560 ✭✭✭nicegirl


    Delicate_Dlite wrote: »
    Yes, I think it's safe to say any female would find that weird/awkward and more than a lil gross, not to mention inappropriate but only if he was fully awake if he was asleep it's not really his fault.

    I've shared a bed with most of my male friends and thank the lord none of them have ever done that... ~*goes to send thank-you-cakes to them*

    Ya, cos you are friends with them, and even the notion of something like this happening would not happen....apart from this dude


  • #49
    Hank_Jones
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,783 ✭✭✭Hank_Jones


    Was your back sticky in the morning OP?


  • #50
    SoulTrader
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 850 ✭✭✭SoulTrader


    Prof.Badass wrote: »
    Nothing sexual about sleeping in the same bed as someone as long as it's "head to foot"......well there really shouldn't be :mad:.

    But your genitals are still lined up...


  • #51
    Speculator
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 300 ✭✭Speculator


    nicegirl wrote: »
    Ya, cos you are friends with them, and even the notion of something like this happening would not happen....apart from this dude


    Agnes O'Reilly is that you?

    And for your information I was scratching myself cause I think I caught something from sleeping in your bed :mad:


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  • #52
    yogy
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 164 ✭✭yogy


    If you were in anyway sound about it you would have finished him off after inviting him into your bed like that....You should apologise to the poor guy!


  • #53
    Delicate_Dlite
    Closed Accounts Posts: 250 ✭✭Delicate_Dlite


    I've got to be honest the whole "head to foot" thing I just don't understand.
    Either share the bed or don't! What difference does ""head-to-foot" make?:confused:


  • #54
    Xavi6
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,991 ✭✭✭✭Xavi6


    Maybe he was just following instructions


  • #55
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    I'm not really getting the point of this thread. Is it to make the OP feel better about not speaking to her friend, or is it to get sympathy? Or is it genuinely to get peoples reactions? What difference does it make what we say... she's stopped talking to him, and has said she doesn't want to talk to him ever again. So what?

    But to give my opinion, while I would find it weird, I have to agree that it really could've been worse... :eek:

    I'd like to know what he said after being confronted...


  • #56
    SoulTrader
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 850 ✭✭✭SoulTrader


    He's probably telling his mates something like this:

    "I offered to stay on the couch but she insisted I go to bed with her. Then, when I get there - nothing. I had to toss a sly one out myself just so I could get to sleep".


  • #57
    GoldCobra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 122 ✭✭GoldCobra


    Ring him and ask him "whens he cumming round again?"


  • #58
    nicegirl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 560 ✭✭✭nicegirl


    Delicate_Dlite wrote: »
    I've got to be honest the whole "head to foot" thing I just don't understand.
    Either share the bed or don't! What difference does ""head-to-foot" make?:confused:

    You said you woudl have shared a bed with a male friend in the past. I take it nothing like this ever happened to you?


  • #59
    Zen65
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,630 ✭✭✭Zen65


    nicegirl wrote: »
    Met up with one of my male friends recently. Ended up having a few drinks, so I said he could stay in my house. I share a house, and said it would be alright if he stayed in the bed with me, as we were friends for quite some time. I made it clear to him there would be no funny business, and to go to sleep.

    About 10 minutes later, I was half asleep, and heard some rather "Strange" noises beside me......he was getting off on himself beside me..... I was completely freaked out, said it to him the next day and haven't spoke to him since.

    Would you have done the same? It seriously freaked me out

    This man was aroused by the situation he found himself in, but he chose not to try any "funny business" with you because you're friends. I think it would be difficult for him to not get aroused, especially if he is young (I'm guessing you are both in your twenties??), and more so if he finds you attractive (even if he did not want a sexual relationship). To be fair, many (most?) young men who would find themselves in this position would try to make a move on you, regardless of what you said beforehand. This man may value your friendship to the extent that he opted not to try that.

    So perhaps he tried to "calm himself" by hand? It shows a certain lack of experience on his part, but certainly by not trying any "funny stuff" with you he appears to be respecting your stated wishes. Perhaps he was afraid that if he did not take matters "into his own hands" that there might be an accident in the bed during the night which could be more embarrassing for him?? I don't know; there's only a little bit of a story here to work with.

    An older, wiser man would have got a taxi home and not put himself in that position, or insisted on sleeping on a couch, or popped out to "use the toilet" in order to carry out his self-calming in private there. This man is a bit naive, maybe, but is he creepy?? I think only you can make that call.

    Before you write him off as a friend, consider how culpable you are yourself for allowing this situation to develop. Was it your idea to let him share your bed? Might it have appeared to him, despite your assertions that he was to go to sleep, that you were giving him an opportunity to change the status of your relationship?

    I ask these questions without the benefit of context. I don't know what the nature of your relationship with this man is/was. My only suggestion to you is that if you had been friends for some time as you say, then you should talk to him about what happened, and if you want the relationship to remain platonic then just laugh it off and get over it, both of you.

    Learn from the experience. Even platonic male friends can be aroused by a woman they consider attractive in the right circumstances; that does not make them creepy or dangerous, just human. If you want to keep your life simple, modify your behaviour with platonic friends so that it is unlikely to be mistaken for something you do not want it to be.


    Stay safe,

    Z


  • #60
    Big Nasty
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,066 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    Armin_Tamzarian wrote: »
    Don't worry nicegirl.
    You're not the first boardsie that this has happened to.

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=56964355&postcount=1

    :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:


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  • #61
    RocketFalls
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 115 ✭✭RocketFalls


    It's useful to keep a glass of water beside the bed. This is one of the more esoteric reasons, but it's valid nonetheless.

    Also, should've passed wind.


This discussion has been closed.
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