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what are you chat up lines??

2

Comments

  • #32
    The Master
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 14,324 CMod ✭✭✭✭The Master


    "Do you like fruit?"

    "Yeah, Well suck my cock it's a peach"


  • #33
    Lilyblue
    Closed Accounts Posts: 183 ✭✭Lilyblue


    The Master wrote: »
    "Do you like fruit?"

    "Yeah, Well suck my cock it's a peach"

    :pac:


  • #34
    Aidric
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,592 ✭✭✭✭Aidric


    Are you alright Sharon?


  • #35
    Purple Gorilla
    Closed Accounts Posts: 865 ✭✭✭Purple Gorilla


    Can I have your phone number?
    I lost mine

    If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?

    If you are what you eat, I could be you by morning

    Nice dress! Can I talk you out of it?

    Do you know what a man with a 12 inch dick has for breakfast? No! Well I have Bacon and Eggs

    Nice legs... What time do they open?


  • #36
    stepbar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,123 ✭✭✭stepbar


    Would you like a drink?

    That seems to work......


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  • #37
    JangoFett
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 854 ✭✭✭JangoFett


    Lilyblue wrote: »
    I'm no Wilma Flintstone but I can make your bedrock ;)

    All the lads love that one...well helps that I am gorgeous ;)

    Modest too?


  • #38
    stepbar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,123 ✭✭✭stepbar


    My god :eek: Girls use chat up lines.... who'd have thought :D Add that into the part of the brain that is conditioned to think girls don't poo and fart either ;) Well holy god as Miley used to say.


  • #39
    monkeyfudge
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,216 ✭✭✭✭monkeyfudge


    Is heaven missing an angel? 'Cause you've got nice cans!


  • #40
    Simply Red
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,293 ✭✭✭Simply Red


    "Did you know that theres 206 bones in the female body?"
    "Really?"
    "Yep, would you like 1 more?"


  • #41
    fatherbuzcagney
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 373 ✭✭fatherbuzcagney


    man' do you like my magic watch'
    girl ' how is it magic'
    man 'it tells me that u have no nickers on, oh sorry its an hour fast'


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  • #42
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 95,908 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Nice shoes, Wanna Fúck ?


  • #43
    inode
    Closed Accounts Posts: 578 ✭✭✭inode


    Guy: Did you bring your helmet
    Girl: No
    Guy: Well you'd better go get it because your going through the headboard tonight!


  • #44
    fatherbuzcagney
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 373 ✭✭fatherbuzcagney


    'grab ur jacket u have clicked'


  • #45
    Gavin "shels"
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,985 ✭✭✭✭Gavin "shels"


    Can't beat the

    "How much a polar bear weigh?"

    "Dunno"

    "Enough to break the ice"



    :cool:


  • #46
    seanybiker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,898 ✭✭✭✭seanybiker


    you'll do.

    Would you like some sweets?


  • #47
    tiger325
    Closed Accounts Posts: 35 ✭tiger325


    haha the best is to smile and give a wink


  • #48
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    connundrum wrote: »
    Do girls use chat up lines?

    i.e.

    Hi, I work for Subway, wanna show me your footlong?

    She works for Subway, therefore should be showing you her footlong.
    Lilyblue wrote: »
    I'm no Wilma Flintstone but I can make your bedrock ;)

    All the lads love that one...well helps that I am gorgeous ;)

    ...well helps that you have a pulse. ;)


  • #49
    seanybiker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,898 ✭✭✭✭seanybiker


    Lilyblue wrote: »
    well helps that I am gorgeous ;)
    Oh christ. Are you blonde and orange by any chance? All them nutters love themselves .


  • #50
    Dboy85
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 627 ✭✭✭Dboy85


    Lilyblue wrote: »
    All the lads love that one...well helps that I am gorgeous ;)

    ...Or she does sweat much for a fat bird haha:pac:


  • #51
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 1,038 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    tman wrote: »
    Most likely because you totally fluffed it up;)
    Should be "fancy going halves on a bastard?"


    Damn, you're right! No wonder that never worked before:o


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  • #52
    johnny_knoxvile
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,022 ✭✭✭johnny_knoxvile


    You ask a girl "would you sleep with Brad Pitt for ?500?"

    to which she replies "of course i would"

    you then ask "would you sleep with me for ?10?"

    she says "NO! What do you think i am?"

    you say "well we have established what you are, now we are just haggling on a price!"


  • #53
    Rocky Balboa 2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 278 ✭✭Rocky Balboa 2


    Simply Red wrote: »
    "Did you know that theres 206 bones in the female body?"
    "Really?"
    "Yep, would you like 1 more?"

    I'd assume you mean your finger in her body because the Penis doesnt have a bone in it..Just letting you know your in for dissapointment if you try that line


  • #54
    sorrywhat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 951 ✭✭✭sorrywhat


    tiger325 wrote: »
    haha the best is to smile and give a wink

    That'd work for me .

    I think id laugh at a fella if he said some of the stuff in this thread. But I spose if you were only joking then it'd be a good conversation starter. But if you said it to the wrong girl.... definitly get a slap.


  • #55
    Crow71
    Closed Accounts Posts: 140 ✭✭Crow71


    May I insert my penis in your vagina?
    Works every time


  • #56
    eddie.fandango
    Closed Accounts Posts: 151 ✭✭eddie.fandango


    "There's a puppy in my van."

    Gets 'em everytime.


  • #57
    NU8
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 247 ✭✭NU8


    johnny_knoxvile wrote: »
    You ask a girl "would you sleep with Brad Pitt for ?500?"

    to which she replies "of course i would"

    you then ask "would you sleep with me for ?10?"

    she says "NO! What do you think i am?"

    you say "well we have established what you are, now we are just haggling on a price!"

    That's just a Winston Churchill quote:

    Churchill: Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?
    Socialite: My goodness, Mr. Churchill… Well, I suppose… we would have to discuss terms, of course…
    Churchill: Would you sleep with me for five pounds?
    Socialite: Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!
    Churchill: Madam, we’ve already established that. Now we are haggling about the price.

    Still good though.


  • #58
    Boskowski
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,361 ✭✭✭Boskowski


    Seriously

    These are just meant to be really funny, right? I mean there are not (apart from the fat sweater which seems to be some sort of classic), but I guess that's the idea anyway, right? Please say yes quickly...

    Because if that's what you guys been using as your 'chat up line' in the real world I imagine you're all still virgins right? Or else it explains why so many women are so drunk in this country... They're practically forced to. Or else resign to a life of celibacy over the sheer idiocy of the local mating procedure...

    I mean what's wrong with 'How you're doing?' or 'Can I buy you a drink?' and then have a pleasant chat? Why is everyone so determined to show off as a dumbass wannabe comedian when approaching a girl they presumably like?


  • #59
    Donny5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,827 ✭✭✭Donny5


    realcam wrote: »
    Seriously

    I mean what's wrong with 'How you're doing?'

    Your grammar?


  • #60
    eddie.fandango
    Closed Accounts Posts: 151 ✭✭eddie.fandango


    realcam wrote: »
    I mean what's wrong with 'How you're doing?' or 'Can I buy you a drink?' and then have a pleasant chat?

    WRONG!! :D


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  • #61
    el_tiddlero
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 400 ✭✭el_tiddlero


    got any weed??

    rarely leads to sex, but i get what i'm after ;)


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