what are you chat up lines??

shezzie

come on lads and lassies what are your chat up lines....


and did they work for you????

Rocky Balboa 2

Do you work for Subway??
Cause you just gave me a foot long


"You'll do"

*Hold out your sleeve* "Feel that material. Do you know what that material is? Boyfriend material."

Then if you get rejected:
"Lower your standards. I did."
Or if she says:
" No. I have standards" you say " I don't. Thats why I asked you"

Rocky Balboa 2

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut.



Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: There's no need to get on your knees and suck on my cock just yet



Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and Ill go to mine.
Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in the back of my
car, I don't give a **** where you go.



Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: That explains the moustache then!




Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilised.
Man: No problem, Ill just shoot my load up your arse.



Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Probably, cause you seem like the kind of chick that is
impossible to shake off once you've been shagged.



Man: Would you like to dance?
Woman: Id rather eat glass.
Man: I think you misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants.



Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
Man: Just as well cos I've been shagging your mum while your dad watches.


Man: You're pretty
Woman: Piss off.
Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty... ugly, you fat bitch.


Man:did it hurt?
Woman:what?when i fell from heaven??
Man:no,when you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch along the way!

connundrum

Do girls use chat up lines?

i.e.

Hi, I work for Subway, wanna show me your footlong?

tuff1

i like your hair

fancy a sh*g big tits?

and surprisingly they didnt work

JangoFett

My chat up lines are always from the heart.

"I'd roll naked in nettles just to have a **** in your shadow"
"I'd rub broken glass under my foreskin just to throw stones at your sh!t"

My counsellor says I may have serious issues with women.

Honestly though, I just get them talking about themselves

Snowie

Hi

Thundercats Ho

tuff1 wrote: »

i like your hair

and surprisingly they didnt work

:eek:

Captain-America

You seem adequate.

Poccington

"How's your belly for a lodger?"

Works like a charm tbh.

Raze_them_all

Do you like cheese? Cos i'm an easy single


Whats the difference between steak and a blowjob?
Her: dunno
You: Wanna go for dinner

Snowie

I always found doing the helicopter a shore thing....

Whosbetter?

I want your clothes, your boots & your motor cycle

galwayrush

Want to go to Mc Donalds for a happy meal?.:rolleyes:

Terry

shezzie wrote: »

come on lads and lassies what are your chat up lines....


and did they work for you????

What are yours?

My one and only is would you like to sit on my face?
It never works.

FearDark

Well first of all i use this guys line...

and if that doesnt work I use this guys...

Mountain_Surfer

Do you have the makings of a sambo in your fridge because I'm pretty sure I'll need a bite to eat when we go back to yours later:D

Another favourite:

I may not be the best looking guy in the world but I'm the only one talking to you!

Raze_them_all

oh I left out.
*lifts handkerchief(or whatever) to the persons face*

Does this smell like chloroform to you??

sub-x

Raze_them_all wrote: »

Do you like cheese? Cos i'm an easy single

That is so terribly cheesy its brilliant (pun intended)

Come on ladies that should be worth a charity shag at the very least.

Quazzie

You're so sexy, I'd leave lovebites in your shite

445279.ie

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Gummy Panda

Mine is "Gis a sniff of your growler!" :pac:

JangoFett

"You can bring me home, or I can follow you home"

''wanna go halves on a baby?''

never worked:D

Lilyblue

I'm no Wilma Flintstone but I can make your bedrock

All the lads love that one...well helps that I am gorgeous

Terry

Mountain_Surfer wrote: »

Another favourite:

I may not be the best looking guy in the world but I'm the only one talking to you!

That's brilliant.
I will report face slaps back the next time I go to the pub.
I'm definitely going to use it.

tman

Deleted User wrote: »

''wanna go halves on a baby?''

never worked:D

Most likely because you totally fluffed it up;)
Should be "fancy going halves on a bastard?"

neil_hosey

"Ye don't sweat much for a fat bird"

Shanotheslayer

''My phones feeling sad, It doesn't have your number'' Said to me:pac:

banshee_bones

Can I have your name?
-Why do you not have one of your own?

How much does a polar bear weigh?
-i dont know
neither do i but i know it would break the ice

Whats a guy/girl like you doing in a place like this?
-trying to get away from a girl/guy like you

You have a smile that could light up a whole town
- and you have a mouth that could accomodate a whole town

Leejo

Whats a place like you doing in a girl like this?

The Master

"Do you like fruit?"

"Yeah, Well suck my cock it's a peach"

Lilyblue

The Master wrote: »

"Do you like fruit?"

"Yeah, Well suck my cock it's a peach"

:pac:

Aidric

Are you alright Sharon?

Purple Gorilla

Can I have your phone number?
I lost mine

If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?

If you are what you eat, I could be you by morning

Nice dress! Can I talk you out of it?

Do you know what a man with a 12 inch dick has for breakfast? No! Well I have Bacon and Eggs

Nice legs... What time do they open?

stepbar

Would you like a drink?

That seems to work......

JangoFett

Lilyblue wrote: »

I'm no Wilma Flintstone but I can make your bedrock

All the lads love that one...well helps that I am gorgeous

Modest too?

stepbar

My god :eek: Girls use chat up lines.... who'd have thought Add that into the part of the brain that is conditioned to think girls don't poo and fart either Well holy god as Miley used to say.

monkeyfudge

Is heaven missing an angel? 'Cause you've got nice cans!

Simply Red

"Did you know that theres 206 bones in the female body?"
"Really?"
"Yep, would you like 1 more?"

fatherbuzcagney

man' do you like my magic watch'
girl ' how is it magic'
man 'it tells me that u have no nickers on, oh sorry its an hour fast'

Capt'n Midnight

Nice shoes, Wanna Fúck ?

inode

Guy: Did you bring your helmet
Girl: No
Guy: Well you'd better go get it because your going through the headboard tonight!

fatherbuzcagney

'grab ur jacket u have clicked'

Gavin "shels"

Can't beat the

"How much a polar bear weigh?"

"Dunno"

"Enough to break the ice"



:cool:

seanybiker

you'll do.

Would you like some sweets?

tiger325

haha the best is to smile and give a wink

Jesus Wept

connundrum wrote: »

Do girls use chat up lines?

i.e.

Hi, I work for Subway, wanna show me your footlong?

She works for Subway, therefore should be showing you her footlong.

Lilyblue wrote: »

I'm no Wilma Flintstone but I can make your bedrock

All the lads love that one...well helps that I am gorgeous

...well helps that you have a pulse.

seanybiker

Lilyblue wrote: »

well helps that I am gorgeous

Oh christ. Are you blonde and orange by any chance? All them nutters love themselves .

Dboy85

Lilyblue wrote: »

All the lads love that one...well helps that I am gorgeous

...Or she does sweat much for a fat bird haha:pac:

tman

tman wrote: »

Most likely because you totally fluffed it up;)
Should be "fancy going halves on a bastard?"

Damn, you're right! No wonder that never worked before:o