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what are you chat up lines??

  • 04-05-2009 09:46PM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,626
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    come on lads and lassies what are your chat up lines....


    and did they work for you????
    Tagged:


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 278 Rocky Balboa 2
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    Do you work for Subway??
    Cause you just gave me a foot long


    "You'll do"

    *Hold out your sleeve* "Feel that material. Do you know what that material is? Boyfriend material."

    Then if you get rejected:
    "Lower your standards. I did."
    Or if she says:
    " No. I have standards" you say " I don't. Thats why I asked you"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 278 Rocky Balboa 2
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    Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
    Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
    Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut.



    Man: Is this seat empty?
    Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
    Man: There's no need to get on your knees and suck on my cock just yet



    Man: Your place or mine?
    Woman: Both. You go to yours, and Ill go to mine.
    Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in the back of my
    car, I don't give a **** where you go.



    Man: So, what do you do for a living?
    Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
    Man: That explains the moustache then!




    Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
    Woman: Unfertilised.
    Man: No problem, Ill just shoot my load up your arse.



    Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
    Woman: But would you stay there?
    Man: Probably, cause you seem like the kind of chick that is
    impossible to shake off once you've been shagged.



    Man: Would you like to dance?
    Woman: Id rather eat glass.
    Man: I think you misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants.



    Man: Where have you been all my life?
    Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
    Man: Just as well cos I've been shagging your mum while your dad watches.


    Man: You're pretty
    Woman: Piss off.
    Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty... ugly, you fat bitch.


    Man:did it hurt?
    Woman:what?when i fell from heaven??
    Man:no,when you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch along the way!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,562 connundrum
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    Do girls use chat up lines?

    i.e.

    Hi, I work for Subway, wanna show me your footlong?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 98 tuff1
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    i like your hair

    fancy a sh*g big tits?

    and surprisingly they didnt work:confused:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 854 JangoFett
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    My chat up lines are always from the heart.

    "I'd roll naked in nettles just to have a **** in your shadow"
    "I'd rub broken glass under my foreskin just to throw stones at your sh!t"

    My counsellor says I may have serious issues with women.

    Honestly though, I just get them talking about themselves


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 Snowie
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    Hi


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,587 Thundercats Ho
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    tuff1 wrote: »
    i like your hair

    and surprisingly they didnt work:confused:

    :eek:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,390 Captain-America
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    You seem adequate.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,497 Poccington
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    "How's your belly for a lodger?"

    Works like a charm tbh.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,477 Raze_them_all
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    Do you like cheese? Cos i'm an easy single


    Whats the difference between steak and a blowjob?
    Her: dunno
    You: Wanna go for dinner


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 Snowie
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    I always found doing the helicopter a shore thing....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,051 Whosbetter?
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    I want your clothes, your boots & your motor cycle


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,815 galwayrush
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    Want to go to Mc Donalds for a happy meal?.:rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,061 Terry
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    shezzie wrote: »
    come on lads and lassies what are your chat up lines....


    and did they work for you????
    What are yours?

    My one and only is would you like to sit on my face?
    It never works.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,425 FearDark
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    Well first of all i use this guys line...
    joeyx.jpg
    and if that doesnt work I use this guys...
    fonz.jpg


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 200 Mountain_Surfer
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    Do you have the makings of a sambo in your fridge because I'm pretty sure I'll need a bite to eat when we go back to yours later:D

    Another favourite:

    I may not be the best looking guy in the world but I'm the only one talking to you!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,477 Raze_them_all
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    oh I left out.
    *lifts handkerchief(or whatever) to the persons face*

    Does this smell like chloroform to you??


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 199 sub-x
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    Do you like cheese? Cos i'm an easy single


    That is so terribly cheesy its brilliant (pun intended) ;)

    Come on ladies that should be worth a charity shag at the very least. :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,716 Quazzie
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    You're so sexy, I'd leave lovebites in your shite


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,981 445279.ie
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    Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 Gummy Panda
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    Mine is "Gis a sniff of your growler!" :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 854 JangoFett
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    "You can bring me home, or I can follow you home"


  • Posts: 1,038 [Deleted User]


    ''wanna go halves on a baby?''

    never worked:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 183 Lilyblue
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    I'm no Wilma Flintstone but I can make your bedrock ;)

    All the lads love that one...well helps that I am gorgeous ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,061 Terry
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    Another favourite:

    I may not be the best looking guy in the world but I'm the only one talking to you!
    That's brilliant.
    I will report face slaps back the next time I go to the pub.
    I'm definitely going to use it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,339 tman
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    ''wanna go halves on a baby?''

    never worked:D

    Most likely because you totally fluffed it up;)
    Should be "fancy going halves on a bastard?"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,712 neil_hosey
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    "Ye don't sweat much for a fat bird"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,191 Shanotheslayer
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    ''My phones feeling sad, It doesn't have your number'' Said to me:pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,160 banshee_bones
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    Can I have your name?
    -Why do you not have one of your own?

    How much does a polar bear weigh?
    -i dont know
    neither do i but i know it would break the ice

    Whats a guy/girl like you doing in a place like this?
    -trying to get away from a girl/guy like you

    You have a smile that could light up a whole town
    - and you have a mouth that could accomodate a whole town


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 264 Leejo
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    Whats a place like you doing in a girl like this?


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