Have you ever had your drink spiked ?

Nevyn · 11-09-2008 09:59AM

SetantaL wrote: »

Sorry if this is off topic but mood needs to be lightenened.

Why ?

Mikel wrote: »

70 women presented themselves at the Rotunda, but it doesn't mention how many of them tested positive for date rape drugs.

It doesn't, I was trying to show what then numbers are currently and the lack of uproar that nomorebadtown thinks there should be about these things
and you know what nomorebadtown is right, there should be more done about this.

Phototoxin wrote: »

I'm not a woman but crime is of interest to me so...

It's a human rights issue, rape and sexual assulat effects men and women and their friends, family work mates ect.

Phototoxin wrote: »

no offence theyndal but what other method will be used ? its always going to be chemical as oppsoed to what biologial ?? (put anthrax in the drink ?)

My chemical I meant manufactured drugs, rather then getting spiked with mushrooms or mushroom extract or with more alcohol then you are expecting.

There is the old tradition of a 'legopener' giving a person who is un unsed to drinking something a lot stronger then they expect.

Phototoxin wrote: »

unfortunatly the coppers dont give a f*ck in this country so they wont test. we only have *1* toxicology lab in ireland and they are already very busy and have a HUGE backlog !

Yup and no dna lab in the country and forensics is backed up too which all contributes to it being nearly two years before a case when charges are pressed gets to court.

Phototoxin wrote: »

these are sort of related sort of 'only 1 in 20 work out why hurt myself more by reporting it.

Also as Im sure a lot of people know but most rapists are known to their victims. the whole hollywood serial stalker rapist is rare.
It showed that Ireland has the worst record in Europe when it comes to successfully prosecuting people accused of sex crimes.

the problem with rape and conviction is proof. I have read various reports in the past which suggest different rates of false allegation, however these are laced with bias (eg 4% from feminist groups opposed to ~40% for male-support groups)
Additionally with all the different kinks people have its difficult to prove. Tearing only proves 'vigourous activity' as one judge I met put it. skin etc is going to transfer anyway and I have a friend who likes to use her nails on her BF.

I think date rape is insidious and cowardly. Even the name is appalling - 'date' rape - makes it sound more trivial. Rape is rape.

I agree, no means no and just cos a person has gone out on a date with some one does not mean they have to have sex.

Phototoxin wrote: »

However the best method is to watch your drink ALL the time, or realise that the female unriny system isn't that complicated that it requires multiple females to operate so don't all go to the loo at the same time... some stay and watch the drinks.

Also in 'normal' rape, if possible fight, most people who fight get away (of course a knife at your neck or gun to the head means that you haven't got many choices)

I would say there is no such thing as 'normal' rape, there is stranger rape and there is aggravated rape.

We still have a huge ammount of victim blaming, in this country.

Yes we need to be careful and mind our drinks but people need to not be fúcking arseholes and think they can get away with that type of carry on.

Nevyn · 11-09-2008 10:01AM

manukahoney wrote: »

ITs funny cos its true!! There isn't a woman alive whose head isn't messed with by white wine!!

Me, have never drunk the stuff

Nice site, but doesn't say how to buy one.

Ginny · 11-09-2008 10:12AM

Mikel wrote: »

.

Take the story above with the boyfriend who minded the drink.
If you give him the benefit of the doubt and some random guy dropped something in the drink, what would be the point?
If it was the boyfriend, what's the point in that? He's already going home with you anyway.

Talking about my story then, right ever consider it was the wrong pint he picked up?
If you actually read my story I was there had a grand total of one pint and collapsed, I also had a nurse friend with me (luckily enough) who knew me and cases she's seen in A&E well enough to know it wasn't drink.
Also the boyfriend wasn't going home with me actually.
Like I've already said I've been extremely drunk before and after the incident and I've never ever experienced an episode like that.

Dragan · 11-09-2008 10:19AM

I'm going to give a very middle of the road take on this.

I have done various doorwork in various parts of the country for about the last decade. In that time I have seen all kinds of punters in all kinds of states. I can spot the difference between too much booze, too many pills, too much coke etc fairly easily. Most cops, doormen, ambulance drivers etc can. It comes from working with the unsober public.

Anyways, I have seen many, many girls claim their drink was spiked, and I am sure that they really believed it. I have seen people from both a professional and a social standpoint hit the same ( roughly ) amount of booze over a few different nights and react completely differently. Sometimes they get drunk, sometimes they get absolutely **** faced.

I had an exgirlfriend tell me she had been spiked on a night that we were out. I watched her drink a full bottle of vodka in a friends house, fall over, throw up and then took her home. In her head she had been out all night and I had to explain to her exactly what happened.

While I have no dount that spiking does happen, I have seen the results of that myself, I do not think it is as prevalent as some people believe.

However, I also believe that if it happens even once, that once is too much.

Madame Razz · 11-09-2008 11:25AM

Thaedydal wrote: »

Nice site, but doesn't say how to buy one.

The company are based in Cork I believe, and have done deals with some of the off licences and supermarket chains down around there.

I haven't seen any in the west but I suppose eventually they will be available nationwide.

It does look like a good idea tho!

LolaDub · 11-09-2008 11:43AM

In all honesty i don't think you have to wonder very hard as to why more people don't report these things. Look at the attitude on this thread, there's a lot of you were just drunk you're just a liar etc. People get drinks and drugs for themselves not to take advantage of you. If this is the attitude on an anonymous womens forum i'd be frightened to know what the face to face actual reporting attitude is. As Thae said there is still a lot of victim blaming in this country which is very unfortunate. Perhaps if we were a lot more considerate to people who have become victims we would see the real figures starting to emerge. Like it or not people on this thread have gone through traumatic experiences and hearing you were just drunk you drama queen doesn't help anyone.

ntlbell · 11-09-2008 11:54AM

LolaDub wrote: »

In all honesty i don't think you have to wonder very hard as to why more people don't report these things. Look at the attitude on this thread, there's a lot of you were just drunk you're just a liar etc.

That's why it's very important that women when claiming these things happen are very very very sure they were spiked and it wasn't a reaction to drink.

It seems these days it's a bit of brag story I've often watched a group of girls fighting over each other to tell of THEIR horrific stories of been spiked but in most cases a mate ends up carrying them to bed..

As has said before the "spiking" usually involves people who are drinking large amounts of spirits the "affects" are often that of someone with too much drink on them etc etc

It's rare the story starts with "So I was on my second diet coke when..."

again, I'm not saying it doesn't happen but for people who don't get believed it's probably down to the 99 out of 100 that claimed who hadn't got it that's causing people to :rolleyes: once your story begins...not too mention the large bottle of vodka

LolaDub · 11-09-2008 12:01PM

I would think the girls that have been raped as a result of this will be the most afraid to come forward. You're getting mostly the all turned out ok after being sick stories here and a few awful ones. We have a terrible system for support in this country and the general attitude of you're a liar or it was your fault is dispicable towards people who really need help. I was raped in a different country, nothing to do with drugs just aggression, afterwards i was all but stoned as i was now 'unclean' i came home thinking in my own country i'd find some comfort and someone to cry to and get over it. Rang the rape crisis centre to ask for counselling and was told by a very gruff annoyed voice -what kind of counselling do you want-eh what kind do you ring the rape crisis centre for????? Then i was told i'd have to go on a waiting list so i just left it and tried to get on with my life. A lot of women won't be able to pick up the phone and look for help but to them and those that do they deserve more than whats on display here.

neuro-praxis · 11-09-2008 12:30PM

This thread for me has been a great reminder, at the very least, that any socialising where any drug at all is being taken (in most cases, alcohol) should really only be done with people you can truly trust.

kmick · 11-09-2008 12:32PM

LolaDub wrote: »

A lot of women won't be able to pick up the phone and look for help but to them and those that do they deserve more than whats on display here.

Agreed. Anyone who has had that experience deserves all the help and comfort that they can get.

Unfortunately not one of the people on here got tested. There is not one incidence of confirmed drug rape here.

GHB stays in the body for 12 hours. So we need to tell each other that if something like this happens to a friend of yours take them to the hospital and get it tested.

If this really is as widespread as it seems it needs to be tackled by people being very careful when they are out. This recommendations by the RCC are very sensible.

ntlbell · 11-09-2008 12:35PM

neuro-praxis wrote: »

This thread for me has been a great reminder, at the very least, that any socialising where any drug at all is being taken (in most cases, alcohol) should really only be done with people you can truly trust.

Aren't a huge % of attackers in rape cases someone they knew/trusted?

You can't live your life like worrying what might happen

go out have fun keep an eye on your friends like you would any other night and that's all you can do..

Scarinae · 11-09-2008 12:59PM

LolaDub, I'm sorry that you had such a horrible experience abroad, and that you got so little support back here. To be honest I'm quite shocked that you got that reaction from the Rape Crisis Centre, shocked and horrified. I knew all the statistics about underreporting of rapes, the problems with the court system etc, but I really thought that the Rape Crisis Centre would be one place to turn to if anything like that ever happened to me or one of my friends. I hope that you found another support system that was more helpful, and that you're not dealing with this by yourself

John Mason · 11-09-2008 01:01PM

i have had loads of friends who think their drinks were spiked, now personally i think it was just too much alcohol.

But if you are all so convienced you have had your drinks spiked, why havent you reported it to the police, that way the club with know what is going on and can be more aware of what is going on, also there may be CCTV.

Why arent you all reporting it to stop it happening to other wimmin? I find it all a bit strange tbh

LolaDub · 11-09-2008 01:07PM

Fishie wrote: »

LolaDub, I'm sorry that you had such a horrible experience abroad, and that you got so little support back here. To be honest I'm quite shocked that you got that reaction from the Rape Crisis Centre, shocked and horrified. I knew all the statistics about underreporting of rapes, the problems with the court system etc, but I really thought that the Rape Crisis Centre would be one place to turn to if anything like that ever happened to me or one of my friends. I hope that you found another support system that was more helpful, and that you're not dealing with this by yourself

Thanks. Maybe i got an unusual reaction from the crisis centre but it was the only experience i had from them and when i had that reaction coupled with some people here saying you're drunk/either report it or admit to be being a liar it doesn't make me wonder why people don't report these things.

Dragan · 11-09-2008 01:15PM

LolaDub wrote: »

with guys here saying

It's not all guys that are saying it, nor are all guys saying it.

LolaDub · 11-09-2008 01:17PM

Dragan wrote: »

It's not all guys that are saying it, nor are all guys saying it.

Sorry dragan when i said guys i meant in a slang sort of way like general people not spefically the gender. You know in a hey guys how are you doing kind of way etc. I'll change it if its offensive

ntlbell · 11-09-2008 01:22PM

LolaDub wrote: »

Thanks. Maybe i got an unusual reaction from the crisis centre but it was the only experience i had from them and when i had that reaction coupled with some people here saying you're drunk/either report it or admit to be being a liar it doesn't make me wonder why people don't report these things.

It's no excuse but you didn't get the reaction from the crisis centre

you got it from one person working there

maybe they had a _really bad day or you picked them up wrong or whatever

not excusing it! but the reaction was of a person not the whole center

kmick · 11-09-2008 01:32PM

Lola Dub why don't you try the RCC again? You have nothing to lose and I bet if you report the first reaction they will be as horrified as we all are.

LolaDub · 11-09-2008 01:32PM

ntlbell wrote: »

It's no excuse but you didn't get the reaction from the crisis centre

you got it from one person working there

maybe they had a _really bad day or you picked them up wrong or whatever

not excusing it! but the reaction was of a person not the whole center

NTlbell i'm not sure exactly what your point is, i think its i got someone having a bad day so i should forget and call again. Do you realise i'm not talking about buying a bad pint of milk and returning it, or a sales assistant being rude? These people are here to provide an important and necessary service to thos who really need it. Everytime they pick up the phone they are likely to be talking to someone who has been raped or in that situation and its unacceptable that they pass on their bad day/crap attitude to these peoples experience.

To be honest in this thread it seems more people are making excuses for the support system/the people who commit the crimes/ the situations etc and telling the people who have suffered that they are the ones in the wrong with being too drunk etc than helping people or trying to understand. There is very little constructive help or 'listening' in this thread. It refelects the attitudes that face people today and i really think its such a shame this level of doubt with a lack of support is what people find when trying to report/get help.

I was in the hospital when i came back as well getting treated for some injuries. The doctor asked how i got this degree of injuries in a very concerned manner i told him i had been raped and he just said ok and didn't say another word to me just went about his duties.

I think people either don't care, don't believe, don't want to believe or expect the person to be ashamed of this kind of crime. I've spoken to more than one person in the 'health and support' area and i've never gotten anything than bored looks/silence/accusations. So why would i report something if it happened again? I wouldn't bother. Its painful opening up about something so deep to people who are supposed to help and having the door shut in your face.

LolaDub · 11-09-2008 01:35PM

kmick wrote: »

Lola Dub why don't you try the RCC again? You have nothing to lose and I bet if you report the first reaction they will be as horrified as we all are.

thanks for your imput. It was a few years ago now and i've moved on. To be honest it doesn't look like attitudes have changed at all so i doubt i would get and support. I think a lot of women would feel its over why re live it

Dragan · 11-09-2008 01:42PM

LolaDub wrote: »

Sorry dragan when i said guys i meant in a slang sort of way like general people not spefically the gender. You know in a hey guys how are you doing kind of way etc. I'll change it if its offensive

Ah don't mind me, i'm just having a metro day or something.:)

And I think ntlbell may have been trying to say that the RCC do, the majority of the time, a good job with an incredibly harsh issue and to hopefully not judge them as an entity based on one interaction.

Believe me, i've done a lot of charity work, a lot of work for various projects and other things and it can really get to you......the sheer reality of it all.

ntlbell · 11-09-2008 01:42PM

LolaDub wrote: »

NTlbell i'm not sure exactly what your point is, i think its i got someone having a bad day so i should forget and call again. Do you realise i'm not talking about buying a bad pint of milk and returning it, or a sales assistant being rude? These people are here to provide an important and necessary service to thos who really need it. Everytime they pick up the phone they are likely to be talking to someone who has been raped or in that situation and its unacceptable that they pass on their bad day/crap attitude to these peoples experience.

To be honest in this thread it seems more people are making excuses for the support system/the people who commit the crimes/ the situations etc and telling the people who have suffered that they are the ones in the wrong with being too drunk etc than helping people or trying to understand. There is very little constructive help or 'listening' in this thread. It refelects the attitudes that face people today and i really think its such a shame this level of doubt with a lack of support is what people find when trying to report/get help.

I was in the hospital when i came back as well getting treated for some injuries. The doctor asked how i got this degree of injuries in a very concerned manner i told him i had been raped and he just said ok and didn't say another word to me just went about his duties.

I think people either don't care, don't believe, don't want to believe or expect the person to be ashamed of this kind of crime. I've spoken to more than one person in the 'health and support' area and i've never gotten anything than bored looks/silence/accusations. So why would i report something if it happened again? I wouldn't bother. Its painful opening up about something so deep to people who are supposed to help and having the door shut in your face.

I just think it's wrong to tar something like the rape crisis setup because of talking to one person, I don't know if they had a bad day or maybe they meant which sort of counseling you would like group/one to one/CBT/blah and wires were crossed but it was one person...

like you told the doctor you were raped and seem sort of surprised that he didn't do anything, what exactly did you want him to do? his job to treat your physical health anything out of that is outside of his remit so what did you want him to do ?

He probably hears those words a few times a week it's prob not a big thing for him to hear but it is huge for you.

Should I require counseling for anything I have to pay for it, It's my responsibility to find the right person to talk to and someone i feel comfortable with regardless of why I would need it might take me many counselors to go through to find the right one i connect with being raped is no different in your search for the right type of person.

LolaDub · 11-09-2008 01:51PM

Erm i think its hugely different. You expect me to tell as many people as the amount of people that i date that i've been raped??? I think you should try be a bit more considerate of the type of people you're dicussing. People don't like discussing things like this and i find your comments offensive and not constructive in the least. Also where did i say anything about not wanting to pay? Because i'm looking for counselling you think i'm a leech? Charming! I'm not tarring the rcc and again i'm offended at your accusation. I'm telling people about my experience trying to get help in answer to so many people saying why don't peoplpe report these things. In that i've mentioned the rcc and the doctor. I wasn't telling the doctor i was raped as some attention seeking desperation as you're making out i was answering his question of how i had been hurt so bad. up until i mentioned it he had been charming and courteous and explained everything he was doing then didn't say a word to me.

Dragan don't worry about it. I've done charity work too and i know how badly things affect you but when you're delaing with the people you're trying to help you can only put your best foot forward.

Also when i did call the rcc and asked for counselling and she asked me what , i said rape etc she said she'd have to ask someone and spoke to someone near her while on the phone to me and came back with this annoyed attitude and go on a waiting list so it was two people in the rcc.

LolaDub · 11-09-2008 01:55PM

ntlbell wrote: »

He probably hears those words a few times a week it's prob not a big thing for him to hear but it is huge for you.

Maybe he does maybe he doesn't. Regardless of this if becoming desensitised and not wanting to support people is the standard of care we have, do you not see this as a problem?

ntlbell · 11-09-2008 02:05PM

LolaDub wrote: »

Erm i think its hugely different. You expect me to tell as many people as the amount of people that i date that i've been raped??? I think you should try be a bit more considerate of the type of people you're dicussing. People don't like discussing things like this and i find your comments offensive and not constructive in the least. Also where did i say anything about not wanting to pay? Because i'm looking for counselling you think i'm a leech? Charming! I'm not tarring the rcc and again i'm offended at your accusation. I'm telling people about my experience trying to get help in answer to so many people saying why don't peoplpe report these things. In that i've mentioned the rcc and the doctor. I wasn't telling the doctor i was raped as some attention seeking desperation as you're making out i was answering his question of how i had been hurt so bad. up until i mentioned it he had been charming and courteous and explained everything he was doing then didn't say a word to me.

Also when i did call the rcc and asked for counselling and she asked me what , i said rape etc she said she'd have to ask someone and spoke to someone near her while on the phone to me and came back with this annoyed attitude and go on a waiting list so it was two people in the rcc.

I don't really know what you're talking about. I don't expect you to tell anyone you don't feel comofrtable telling you were raped what's this got to do with anything?

My point was finding the right counselor, someone you can open up to someone who you connect with someone you don't feel is looking at you with a blank face/bored/look can be long and hard to find as it will vary greatly on you and the individual. I'm not saying you're a leech for looking for it but to have some patience with finding it and not start blaming the poor support system.

If she was working in the RCC and had to ask what counseling you wanted/needed would it not be obvious that maybe she wasn't working there very long? are most of them not volunteers who answer the phone? (i could be wrong)

maybe she was annoyed at the response from her colleague and it manifested itself over to you as she was new and not used to it? maybe she was frustrated as she wanted to help but was getting no support from the person beside her as she was so busy?

ntlbell · 11-09-2008 02:06PM

LolaDub wrote: »

Maybe he does maybe he doesn't. Regardless of this if becoming desensitised and not wanting to support people is the standard of care we have, do you not see this as a problem?

I don't see the problem with a doctor getting on with his job and not giving you an hours counseling while he was attending to your medical needs a problem..no sorry...

if he refused to treat your medical issues, then we have a problem.

LolaDub · 11-09-2008 02:11PM

ntlbell wrote: »

I don't see the problem with a doctor getting on with his job and not giving you an hours counseling while he was attending to your medical needs a problem..no sorry...

if he refused to treat your medical issues, then we have a problem.

We don't have a problem. I'm getting tired over explaining myself on such a personal and upsetting issue to you so i'll say this one last time please read it. Doctor was treating me very friendly and explaining all he was doing and when it would hurt etc. Was very concerned about where i got my injuries and asked, i answered. From the moment i said rape he didn't look me in the eye, smile say a word, tell me when it wouold hurt etc nothing. It was like i was a dirty object he didn't want to be near. I was not complaining he didn't give me counselling its obvious i found his change of attitude offensive.

kmick · 11-09-2008 02:11PM

ntlbell wrote: »

I don't see the problem with a doctor getting on with his job and not giving you an hours counseling while he was attending to your medical needs a problem..no sorry...

if he refused to treat your medical issues, then we have a problem.

I think the doctor saying - 'I'm very sorry is there anything I can do for you professionally' i.e. recommend services available would have been the very least they could have done. To just ignore it is very hurtful to the person who told them.

I would have thought in the year 2000 the leats they could have been is professional.

Also stop being such an old grump ntlbell.

LolaDub · 11-09-2008 02:13PM

kmick wrote: »

I think the doctor saying - 'I'm very sorry is there anything I can do for you professionally' i.e. recommend services available would have been the very least they could have done. To just ignore it is very hurtful to the person who told them.

Stop being such an old grump ntlbell.

Thank You!!!!!

ntlbell · 11-09-2008 02:16PM

LolaDub wrote: »

We don't have a problem. I'm getting tired over explaining myself on such a personal and upsetting issue to you so i'll say this one last time please read it. Doctor was treating me very friendly and explaining all he was doing and when it would hurt etc. Was very concerned about where i got my injuries and asked, i answered. From the moment i said rape he didn't look me in the eye, smile say a word, tell me when it wouold hurt etc nothing. It was like i was a dirty object he didn't want to be near. I was not complaining he didn't give me counselling its obvious i found his change of attitude offensive.

Maybe he felt uncomfortable within himself? why are you assuming he thought bad of you? why does the problem have to lie with you? I would prob lost for words too it's not easiest thing in the world to talk about.

Maybe like you he made assumptions? maybe the way you said raped was in a tone that said and dont ask me anythng else?

why is he the bad guy?

Have you ever had your drink spiked ?

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