What do you single people do with all your spare time?

John Mason · 04-04-2008 11:24AM

Spend my weekends the exactly same now as i did when i was single

Sleeping, eating, drinking, working on my house, seeing friends. I am not sure why it would be different because you are in a relationship.

fits · 04-04-2008 11:29AM

irishbird wrote: »

I am not sure why it would be different because you are in a relationship.

I'm not sure either

campervan · 04-04-2008 11:34AM

Hey OP, how about volunteering for something? It could be just every once in a while, or it could be a regular thing. Whether its animals, senior citizens, children, teenagers, sports etc theres bound to be something out there that could suit you if you are interested in that kind of thing. There's always a need for volunteers in todays society. Or if you are sporty or any way athletic you could take up a team sport which is also a great outlet for a social life. I'm not actually single myself but I do find time for all these things and if I had more time I would probably be getting stuck into something else. Its very bad, I have to learn how to say no

anyway theres so much out there to get involved in, courses, evening classes, etc . focus on your main interests and discover how you could turn that into an activity!

watna · 04-04-2008 11:36AM

fits wrote: »

I'm not sure either

Me neither.

OP, are you saying single people sit in at home waiting for the phone to ring.

I did far more when I was single then I do now.

mumof2 · 04-04-2008 12:21PM

I go to the movies (on my own). I love travelling and looking to go away again soon. spend time on the computer like now on boards etc. I recently did a painting course and am hooked with painting so thats what I do when the kids are away. And I love to go shopping when theres money!

Other than that, visit my parents, and look after the kids when theyre with me!

Don't have that much spare time despite being single actually!!:)

Dudess · 04-04-2008 12:42PM

MizzLolly wrote: »

Having been called an old spinster by a mod here... yes!

:eek: Surely it was in jest...? "Here" as in the Ladies' Lounge?

To be honest, I really do think some of you girls are making too much of a big deal about being single - despite protestations to the contrary. Do you honestly have all that free time just because you're single? If you were in a relationship, "free time" wouldn't just magically vanish you know - unless you decided to spend every spare moment with your partner, but people like that are pains in the bum. What if you were in a long-distance relationship? Then you'd have a fair bit of free time to kill. But that would be ok because you're in a relationship... Do you see where I'm coming from?
I only spend long periods with himself at the weekends. On week nights I call to mates (including married/engaged ones/parents of small children), Friday night I go to his but not always, sometimes I go to a friend's for an Indian and a bottle of wine. Then Saturday night I head out with a group of mates and meet him too. I go exercising every evening, I go to the cinema (often alone as I'm not gonna be talking to another person there anyway and I'm a cinephile), I read and listen to music feverishly, I watch TV, I go round the shops.
To me, that kinda seems no different to the life of a single person.

Despite objecting to the pressure there is to be in a relationship, by being down in the dumps about your singledom you're actually kinda pandering to said pressure...

LadyE · 04-04-2008 01:02PM

Im single and I find the weeknights more lonley than the weekend.

I have a three year old child and when himself is in bed and you have the mammy stuff done I sit there thinking "what now!?"...so depressing:(

Last night was awful actually, weekends are fine for me, activities with son int he day then at ngiht I can either go out (when dad has son) or a friend can call over - or the days shopping/day in the park I would be glad of a sit down with a glass of vino and chill-ax..

I have started seeing someone, but would still condsider myself single-ish (complicated!) so would maybe see him once a week to break the week up.

Its the week nights that are a killer for me!

metaoblivia · 04-04-2008 03:12PM

I clean my apartment, watch dvds, visit surrounding towns, meet up with friends for drinks and dancing, read, go to the gym, make collages, work on my novel, visit art galleries and museums. It's grand! I don't know how I'd make time for a man.

I guess he could do things with me... but it's kind of fun being out on your own.

johny28 · 04-04-2008 03:28PM

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Well maybe he has a face like a bag of nails.

Could be the perfect match.

lol... good one.

May be we could all orgainze something this weekened!

Let's how people on this thread feel about it!

Dragan · 04-04-2008 03:30PM

johny28 wrote: »

Let's how people on this thread feel about it!

Eh, there is a big meet up planned already for later today! Just check the stickies!!!

citytillidie · 04-04-2008 03:36PM

Over the weekends if i am not out or away i would just be watching TV or some DVD's not very exciting

ChewChew · 04-04-2008 04:29PM

johny28 wrote: »

lol... good one.

May be we could all orgainze something this weekened!

Let's how people on this thread feel about it!

you should try organize this for a few weekends time? let people get the beers from tonight out of the system

jellie · 04-04-2008 04:50PM

single people are claiming theyre being discriminated against by all the OH threads so they try to discriminate against the non-single people? its all a bit childish. Why could this thread not be "what do you do with your spare time?". Instead it come across like "us poor single people have lots of spare time".

I say this because in terms of spare time i might as well be single because my relationship is long distance so I have just as much spare time as a single person. Just because someones in a relationship doesnt mean they spend every waking minute with their OH. even if i lived closer to my bf i certainly want to keep a fair amount of spare time to do things myself.

What do i do? nothing mostly

meet up with friends, cinema/dvds/tv, read, go for walks, go online. nothing too exciting. i think i need a hobby in fact. will be learning to drive soon so that should give me something new to do.

pretty*monster · 04-04-2008 05:20PM

I really don't think being single gives me much more free time. I don't find myself home of an evening organising my ribbon drawer.
I work, I go to college, I study, I read, I shop, I spend a helluvalot of time down the pub with my friends who are (shocker) quite mixed between single and not-single.

ztoical · 04-04-2008 05:42PM

pretty*monster wrote: »

I really don't think being single gives me much more free time. I don't find myself home of an evening organising my ribbon drawer.

+1 I find I've the same amount of free time [ie none] single as I had in my last relationship.

SarahSassy · 05-04-2008 05:35AM

I dont agree ladies... I have more free time than when I was in a relationship..

ztoical · 05-04-2008 09:18AM

SarahSassy wrote: »

I dont agree ladies... I have more free time than when I was in a relationship..

everyone is different - it depends on what other commitments you have, your job, your hobbies/interests/your family also their job, hobbies/interests/family etc and also what type of relationship you have - some people are very gung ho when they get into a relationship and devote alot of time to it, some people are very relaxed and not so pushy and some are in the middle.

My job stays the same wither I'm single or in a relationship and its very time consuming. The last guy I was seeing worked in the same animation studio as me so worked the same insane hours and he understood the amount of time that had to go into it. I'd actually find it hard to date someone who isn't an animator or illustrator cus they wouldn't understand what I do for living and the amount of effort that goes into. I have that issue with friends who work in banks and the like, they get pissed when they ring me to go out on a saturday night and I tell them I can't as I've a deadline due.

Also any holidays that I take are working holidays - going to comic book festivals, art festivals, animation festivals, book fairs etc etc and I had a friend come with me once to a show in London and she thought we'd be spending two, three hours tops at it and then spending the rest of the weekend shopping and drinking and no matter how much I tired to explain to her that I'd be spending the whole weekend at the show as you go not just for the show but also the after meet ups cus you have to network and shake hands and swap business cards. she didn't get it and it ended up being very a crap weekend in London for both of us.

SarahSassy · 05-04-2008 11:24AM

sar84 wrote: »

Why could this thread not be "what do you do with your spare time?".

Because the answers would be ' I spend it with my SO/ OH'.....

SarahSassy · 05-04-2008 11:27AM

MizzLolly wrote: »

coz we're not in relationships and we're tryna make a point that if all threads in here MUST be relationship related then we can start talking about being single!!

No we are not MizzLolly... I am curious..

twinkle77 · 05-04-2008 11:33PM

Some asked how would it be different if they were with some one well here is how it went for me…….. up to 2 months ago my weekend was centred around spending time with my bf as we only got to see each other for a couple of hours during the week. He would arrive on Sat and I would have a lovely dinner cooked (i love to cook and took pleasure in seeing him enjoy it) then we would go to the theatre or the cinema. Sunday was spent together going for a scenic drive and a nice long walk and the home for dinner. This was my weekend and I loved every minute of it. I should also explain that while we were see each other I got my own place( the point of this will become clear in a bit)

My weekend now on the other hand is as follows……..I come home from work on a Friday evening close my front door and well that’s it. I have been off work the last 2 days and not one person has rang or called in…….I study by night so for the next month or so I a tied up with that ( getting sick of it now thought) but what scares me is that what happens when I finish college. I will be here ALL weekend ON MY OWN!!!! I don’t mean to be horrible but I know what you all are going to say why don’t I join something…….trust me I have looked…….First I am down the country so I am not exactly spoiled for choice. I have joined a hill walking club and am really enjoying it but they are all an awful lot older that me (now I am no spring chicken either!) As for doing other classes NOTHING runs for the summer months…. I am dreading the long evenings!

I do have friends but like the other singletons here they are off doing their couple things…..i.e. married with kids, getting married etc. Some times I don’t hear from them for weeks on end. I know that is selfish cos they have their own lives to lead too. I have NO single friends that’s what happens when you get to my age. I am so unbelievably lonely I cant put into words. I feel sooooo ungrateful to cos for years all I wanted was I own home I have that now and hate being here cos if I am not here I am in work or college!!!

Sorry for rambling on sooooo much but I have no one else to talk to

What else can I say but its 11.30 on a sat night and I am writing this…………

P.s I am heart broken too!!!!!

Dudess · 05-04-2008 11:54PM

Aw that's awful, twinkle. Hugs to you. It will get better and you will meet someone. You're only 31, bet some of the people in the walking club are twice your age. Is there anyone at all you could meet up with? Any single mates?

Your friends in relationships should prove they're your friends by making an effort to hook up with you now that you're newly single and heartbroken. Why anyone wouldn't bother doing so just because they're in a relationship is truly beyond me...

twinkle77 · 06-04-2008 12:34AM

Dudess wrote: »

Aw that's awful, twinkle. Hugs to you. It will get better and you will meet someone. You're only 31, bet some of the people in the walking club are twice your age. Is there anyone at all you could meet up with? Any single mates?

Your friends in relationships should prove they're your friends by making an effort to hook up with you now that you're newly single and heartbroken. Why anyone wouldn't bother doing so just because they're in a relationship is truly beyond me...

Dudess thank you soooo much, you dont know how much I would love a hug right now!!!

I cant see how it will, its getting harder and harder as time goes on. I am missing him so much more now. They are, dont get me wrong they are lovely but are way older than me. I wish there was, but i am the only single one left!!!!

Some of them were great to begin with, but as time has gone on, i feel that its a case of....well its been a couple of months now so she should be ok. Then there were the one who were full of empty promises. And then the one who let me down the most......the one who I have been there for soooo much in the last couple of years. He(i know you are probably thinking its strange its a male friend but we know each other over 10 years) went through so really bad stuff and the one time I need a friend he ran for the hills. I can count on one hand how many times I have seen or spoken to him since it all happened. Its not as if i go on about my ex the total opposite if anything i avoid talking about him. Have dreamt about him the last 4 nights in a row....dread going to sleep tonight.

Sorry I am going on AGAIN!

The Sweeper · 06-04-2008 12:37AM

Folks, as an observation on this thread, hear this:

I will start deleting, banning, moving to the recycle bin, and generally laying about me with the cudgel of irritation if I see any more "wah wah, why can't this thread be called something it isn't called" then responded to by "meh meh, because we're trying to make a point that I actually don't know that we're trying to make because I'm not the bloody OP" exchanges on this thread.

That includes people continuing their off-topic argument by responding to this post to continue to argue about what the thread is called.

^^^^^^^
Do you see this point? That I've put in bold? Pay close attention to this point.

DO NOT continue a discussion about what this thread is for in this thread. If you have an issue or would like to raise a point on what the thread is about, PM me.

The Sweeper · 06-04-2008 12:39AM

...and general group hug things to twinkle77 because she's only got a few posts and I don't want her to think reply #54 was anything to do with her because it wasn't.

Sherifu · 06-04-2008 12:46AM

/hugs twinkle77

When I was single; gym, football, family time, meeting friends

twinkle77 · 06-04-2008 12:50AM

Minesajackdaniels wrote: »

...and general group hug things to twinkle77 because she's only got a few posts and I don't want her to think reply #54 was anything to do with her because it wasn't.

Thanks MJD was really starting to worry there for a mo......have seen what a senistive issue that is of late and have been a bit scared to post. Sorry dont mean to go off topic.

Thanks for the group hug

twinkle77 · 06-04-2008 12:53AM

Sherifu wrote: »

/hugs twinkle77

When I was single; gym, football, family time, meeting friends

Thanks!

I'm not close to my family plus they dont leave near me, friends like i said...all couples and as for sports not really me plus no time for it as studying by night..

Black Swan · 06-04-2008 01:01AM

Varies. This weekend I am cramming for a Monday exam, now taking a break between text chapters to play on boards.

06-04-2008 10:55AM

Hi Twinkle,

When the heartbreak is over, you'll feel better about being on your own.
I think alot of my ex, and he was a great friend. Also I don't tend to hold on to grudges.
So after the break. I had to have a good sit down, every now and again and really mull over the bad stuff.
To make myself appreciate that I was in a better position.

What kind of place do you live in? County, urban aera or rural?
I find that alot of Irish people don't put effort into making or keeping their friends.
But If you put yourself out there and organise things, they are more than happy to go with the flow.

Dudess · 06-04-2008 11:16AM

twinkle77 wrote: »

I cant see how it will, its getting harder and harder as time goes on. I am missing him so much more now.

It will get better. Right now it's impossible for you to see that when you're consumed with such sadness. How can you have perspective or objectivity? But as someone on the outside looking in, I do have those things and I know it will get better. You won't fully get over it, that's true, but you will get to the point where you can accept it and live with it and move on.

Some of them were great to begin with, but as time has gone on, i feel that its a case of....well its been a couple of months now so she should be ok.

They should really know better. But give them a call yourself to say you could do with the company of your friends - don't feel like you're imposing on them. My god, this culture of "they're a couple, they need to spend some time together" when they're seeing each other regularly - have people really become that thoughtless about lonely people, including their friends?

And then the one who let me down the most......the one who I have been there for soooo much in the last couple of years. He(i know you are probably thinking its strange its a male friend but we know each other over 10 years) went through so really bad stuff and the one time I need a friend he ran for the hills. I can count on one hand how many times I have seen or spoken to him since it all happened.

Maybe it's because he has that often male disease of being unable to deal with emotions (his own and those of another). Give him a call and say something alone the lines of: "Listen, I was there for you when you needed me, have some manners and hook up with me once in a while when I could do with the company. Don't worry, I'm not gonna be an emotional wreck when you clearly can't cope with that, I'd just like a friend to chat to while I'm so lonely."

What do you single people do with all your spare time?

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